#Loveinmarriage – Page 3 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love Remembers

How easy it is to forget, that is, we forget the things we should remember and we remember the things we should forget. This has been a problem through the ages and for this reason we are filled with fear. If only we will remember, the Lord says, then we will not fear and if only we will live in His love then His love will cast out all fear. Life is sweet when it is free of fear and worry. Fears rob us of much joy and worry destroys our peace. Faith is the opposite of fear and prayer is the answer to our worries. Prayer is the expression of our faith. Faith is coming to the Lord through prayer. Faith is not just believing that He is able but believing that He will. Prayer is asking Him to help us in our need and asking Him to do what needs to be done. Faith is trusting His love and His power.

“I, even I, am He who comforts you.
Who are you that you are afraid…
That you have forgotten the Lord your Maker,
Who stretched out the heavens
And laid the foundations of the earth,
That you fear continually all day long…Isaiah 51:12a,13a

The Lord is so loving that we can not comprehend how great His love is, but we can accept it because His love is a gift to all who will receive it. God is so powerful that the Bible says that nothing is impossible with Him.

For nothing will be impossible with God. Luke 1:37

The Lord’s love is so great for His children and all power is His so that He is able to take anything that happens, no matter how bad, and cause it to be for our good. The word “good” means the highest form of love. If we belong to Him, then we have nothing to fear ever. He is in full control and nothing catches Him by surprise. It pleases the Lord when we trust Him and rest in His love and His power.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

When we are anxious then He wants us to come to Him with our burdens and worries. He will give us His peace in place of our anxieties. His peace will guard our hearts.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

When we have His peace then we can go through anything. His peace will remain with us as long as we keep our eyes on Him.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27

Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be fearful. When you live in His love then you will find that you will have peace and be free from fear for His love will cast out your fear.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18a

Are you fearful or anxious? Is your heart weighed down with troubles? Come to Jesus Christ and receive His love. Jesus Christ came to love us and to restore us to a love relationship with God. His love is available to anyone who will come to Him and receive it. When you receive Jesus Christ then you receive His love.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

If you have received Jesus Christ earlier in your life then have you forgotten who He is, that He is your Maker and He stretched out the heavens and laid the foundation of the earth? Have you forgotten that nothing is impossible with Him? Are you fearful? Are you anxious? Have you forgotten how great a love the Father has for you, that you are His child?

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. I John 3:1a

Seek the Lord once again with all of your heart. There is no good thing that He will withhold from those who seek Him. Don’t seek the blessings but seek the Blesser.

The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing. Psalm 34:10

The Father who gave up His only begotten Son, will He not with Christ freely give you all things? There is nothing that is good that He will withhold from those who belong to Him and seeks Him.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

We doubt His love because we do not know Him. We don’t come to Him because our faith is little. We “have not because we ask not”. The Lord is waiting to show you His love.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

How blessed are those who long for the Lord. His love is immeasurable towards those who fear Him and come to Him.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him. Psalm 103:11

Come to Him all who are weary of carrying their burdens. Come to Him all who are anxious over the troubles of life. Come to Him all who are fearful. He will take carry your burdens, take your worries, troubles and fears and give you His love and His peace.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

A Life with Love is Trust

Love means you can be trusting and you can only trust someone that is trustworthy and that you know loves you. Abraham loved the Lord and He trusted the Lord because he knew the Lord loved him. Abraham knew the Lord and knew that God is all powerful. The Lord is the only One who is totally trustworthy and when a person comes to the point of trusting the Lord completely then others can trust the Lord in them. Abraham trusted the Lord and because he so completely trusted the Lord, his son, Isaac also trusted. Abraham loved God and trusted God and Isaac loved his father and trusted his father because he knew that his father trusted the Lord. Isaac did not just hear about God but he saw the faith of his father and learned to love and trust the Lord on his own because he experienced the outcome of his father’s faith. Faith is best taught through “seeing” and experiencing God’s faithfulness rather than just hearing about it. In the same way, a wife learns to trust her husband when she sees her husband trusting the Lord. The children also will learn to trust their parents and the Lord as they see their parents living by faith, looking to the Lord and trusting Him through His words and promises.

Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you.” Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together. Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” And he said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” So the two of them walked on together. Genesis 22:5-8

Abraham said that he and Isaac were going to worship and that they would return. Isaac heard his father’s words that they would return. He trusted his father even though there was no lamb for the burnt offering. Abraham believed that God was able to even raise Isaac from the dead. Abraham did not doubt God’s love or power.

He considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type. Hebrews 11:19

Trust is not seeing but believing the one who is faithful to their words and thereby proving themselves to be trustworthy. Abraham knew that he and Isaac would be returning but he did not know all of the details. Isaac knew he could trust his father because his father loved him and was trustworthy. The Lord wants us to learn to trust Him in the same way so that He can walk together with us through life. It is not until we live by faith will we see God’s faithfulness. Abraham may have walked up that mountain but he must have wanted to run with great joy on the way down. That is how exciting a life of faith is, it is trusting the Lord by faith and seeing His faithfulness. A life of faith in the Lord gives incredible joy and makes you want to run and tell the world how wonderful the Lord is and how great His love is. Great is His faithfulness.

The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22,23

A Life with Love is Friendship

Abraham loved God and he was called the “friend of God” by God Himself. What a statement to call someone your friend and to be called that by God. No one else in all of history has that honor.

and the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “And Abraham believed God, and it was reckoned to him as righteousness,” and he was called the friend of God. James 2:23

A friend is one who believes in you. Abraham believed in God and believed that God loved him and Abraham trusted in God’s love. Abraham believed in God’s power and God’s love for him.

Now it came about after these things, that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take now your son, your only son, whom you love, Isaac, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I will tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning and saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him and Isaac his son; and he split wood for the burnt offering, and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham raised his eyes and saw the place from a distance. Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you.” Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son, and he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So the two of them walked on together. Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” And he said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?” Abraham said, “God will provide for Himself the lamb for the burnt offering, my son.” So the two of them walked on together. Genesis 22:1-8

The Lord tested Abraham and his love for God. How easy it is to put our natural affections for someone before our devotion to the Lord. Abraham believed that either God would raise Isaac from the dead or that God would provide the sacrifice for Abraham said, “we will worship and return to you”. He trusted God completely and God blessed Abraham greatly. Great faith goes before great blessing. Great faith in the One who is faithful. God is faithful and He promised Abraham that Isaac would be his heir. Abraham did not know the how’s or why’s of what God was asking because Abraham did not question God. He trusted God and believed God’s Word. A friend is one who trusts you. There can be no love without trust and there can only be trust if you believe someone loves you. Abraham trusted and loved. God entrusted to Abraham much and loved Abraham.

Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not stretch out your hand against the lad, and do nothing to him; for now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your only son, from Me.” Then Abraham raised his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him a ram caught in the thicket by his horns; and Abraham went and took the ram and offered him up for a burnt offering in the place of his son. Abraham called the name of that place The Lord Will Provide, as it is said to this day, “In the mount of the Lord it will be provided.” Genesis 22:9-14

Abraham knew the Lord and Abraham trusted the Lord. Faith is not blind but faith is believing in the One you know. Abraham believed God and saw God’s provision. The Lord repeated all of His promises to Abraham and added still another promise that Abraham would possess the gate of His enemies.

Then the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven, and said, “By Myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this thing and have not withheld your son, your only son, indeed I will greatly bless you, and I will greatly multiply your seed as the stars of the heavens and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your seed shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice.” Genesis 22:15-18

Abraham believed God and the outcome was that Abraham obeyed God. Faith leads to obedience. The Lord is still looking for those whom He can bless and who will be His friend.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. John 15:13,14

Jesus showed us that greater love by dying for us. We can trust Him completely. Those who trust Him will have faith in what He says and those who have faith in what He says will obey Him in what He commands. His commandments are good and they are loving. We can trust Him fully and we can obey Him completely.

A Life with Love Believes the Truth

When it comes to many areas in life there are many people who have no problem with accepting the truth. Most people understand that if you eat lots of carbs and don’t exercise then you will gain weight. Most people understand that you can not spend your money recklessly and still be able to pay your bills. Most students understand if they want to stay in school then they must study. However, when it comes to love, many people think that they can have it all. They want to be able to do what they want to do but they still want their partner to be faithful. They want to marry someone who has not slept around but they want to be able to do what they want to do. They want love and respect and they want their lusts and desires also. However, just like the rest of life, it does not work that way. You reap what you sow.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6:7

Many people do not want to “live under God’s laws” but they want everyone else to. They want their “freedom” but they do not want someone else to murder them, steal from them or lie to them. The Lord did not give those laws for His sake but for our sake so that we might live in peace with one another. He does not want to “control” us but He wants us to live in harmony and love one another. He does not need us but we need Him. For this reason, the Bible calls a person a fool when they live as if there is no god. In the same way, the Lord gave us laws of truth that will set us free when we live by them. Life and marriage is good to those who will believe what God says and live by His truths. He teaches us to love one another. It is wonderful to be in love and stay in love with the same person throughout your mature years. It is wonderful to not worry about sexually transmitted diseases or the many diseases that come from having more than one partner. Most cervical cancers in women are because they had more than one partner. It is wonderful to not worry if your child will be born blind because you had more than one intimate partner. The Lord made these “rules” or “laws” or “truths” for our sake.

But it shall come about, if you do not obey the Lord your God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statutes with which I charge you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you: “The Lord will send upon you curses, confusion, and rebuke, in all you undertake to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, on account of the evil of your deeds, because you have forsaken Me. The Lord will make the pestilence cling to you until He has consumed you from the land where you are entering to possess it. The Lord will smite you with consumption and with fever and with inflammation and with fiery heat and with the sword and with blight and with mildew, and they will pursue you until you perish…The Lord will smite you with the boils of Egypt and with tumors and with the scab and with the itch, from which you cannot be healed. The Lord will smite you with madness and with blindness and with bewilderment of heart; You shall betroth a wife, but another man will violate her; Deuteronomy 28:15, 20-23, 27-28, 30a

All these are curses that we bring upon ourselves when we try to do life and love our way and try to “have it all”. Life and love are not any different from everything else. To have one thing then you must give up another.

Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the Lord your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the Lord your God…The Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the offspring of your body and in the offspring of your beast and in the produce of your ground, in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. The Lord will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. The Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the Lord your God, which I charge you today, to observe them carefully, and do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you today, to the right or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them. Deuteronomy 28:1-2,11-14

No one can make you eat healthy or spend less money to keep you healthy and your life in order. No one can make anyone study to stay in school. How easy it is to see the lives of other people. Why is there so much pain from relationships? Why do so many people who begin with love end up hating one another? Pain comes when the truth is ignored. It is the truth that if you will obey the commands and instructions of the Lord, which He gave to us for our good, then you will be blessed. Your life will be blessed and your marriage will be blessed. Your children will be blessed and all that you do will be blessed. Love and belief are choices. We can choose to believe and love God and we will be blessed or we can choose to go our own way. God is good and He is loving. He made a provision for us to know Him and follow Him through Jesus Christ. He made a way for us and His way is good. If you want a good life and a good marriage then He offers it to you through following Him. Obedience comes before understanding. After you obey then you will understand.

A Life with Love Gives Significance

Only someone greater can bless and give significance to someone else.

Now the Lord said to Abram,

“Go forth from your country,
And from your relatives
And from your father’s house,
To the land which I will show you;
And I will make you a great nation,
And I will bless you,
And make your name great;
And so you shall be a blessing;
And I will bless those who bless you,
And the one who curses you I will curse.
And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.” Genesis 12:1-3

God is greater than all and He is the One who gave Abraham his purpose and meaning in life and He is the One who gives all men and women and children their significance of who they are. He is the Creator and we are His creation. He made us in His image and made us and has given our lives meaning and purpose. When we are restored to a relationship with Him then we will find the meaning and purpose for our lives. He so loved us that He sent His Son to bring us back to Himself.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

We could not find our way to God so He provided a way for us. When we come to Him then He restores us to a relationship with Him and we become His child.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

We become His child by becoming born again into His family.

Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:5-7

When we are born again into His family then we have an inheritance.

but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8:15b-17

The word “Abba” is the same as the affectionate name “Daddy”. We can call God, who becomes our heavenly Father, once we come to know Him, then we can call Him “Daddy”. It is an intimate relationship with God that the Lord brings us into when we come to know Him. We also receive eternal life, which begins the moment we come to know Him. Eternal life is not just living forever but it is knowing God.

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. John 17:3

Also, when we come to know Him and become His child and become an heir then we also inherit a blessing.

for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:9b

The Lord gives us meaning and purpose in life when we give our lives to Him. His design is that we would be a blessing to the world. God blesses people so that they might be a blessing. God gives us love so that we might give love to others. God gives us forgiveness so that we might forgive others. The Lord blessed Abraham so that he might be a blessing. The Lord said that through Abraham all of the families of the earth would be blessed because it was through Abraham that Jesus Christ, the Messiah, came into the world.

For when God made the promise to Abraham, since He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and I will surely multiply you.” And so, having patiently waited, he obtained the promise. For men swear by one greater than themselves, and with them an oath given as confirmation is an end of every dispute. In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. Hebrews 6:13-18

Jesus Christ is the hope of all who have put their trust in Him. We live by faith and wait patiently for Him. Jesus Christ gives meaning and purpose to life. God is love and His love is expressed through Jesus Christ to the world. When Christ lives in a person then they have significance and then they can truly love others because they do not need to get their significance from someone else. Jesus Christ validates them and gives their life meaning. A person is free when they know Christ because they do not need to look to someone else for meaning, purpose, love, validation, significance or any of the other needs that are deep within us. Jesus Christ sets a person free and they are able to love, to forgive and to bless others.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; Galatians 5:1a

You can never truly love until you are loved. God loves you and has offered you a gift of a great love, and that is to become His child.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. I John 3:1

A Life with Love Involves the Will

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Man is made up of spirit, soul and body. The decisions that we make in life are expressed through our body but made through our soul. Every decision that we make involves our soul and affects our soul. Love is an expression of the soul. We choose to love with our mind and our will and it affects our emotions. We choose to hate with our mind and our will and it also affects our emotions. We choose to believe with our mind and our will and it affects our destiny. Loving and believing are a choice of the mind and will. When we respond to God’s love and believe in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then our spirit becomes alive. It is in our spirit that we worship and communicate with God. It is with our soul that we communicate with each other. It is with our spirit, soul and body that we love God and love another.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23

When we love God and love another as God has called us to do then our spirit, soul and body are preserved. When we sin against God and each other then we bring destruction to ourselves. Our spirit is made complete in Christ at the time of our conversion, if we are a Christian. Our soul is being made complete through our obedience to the Lord. Our soul experiences life when we do what is right. Our soul experiences death when we do what is wrong. The death to our soul is the sick feeling we have when the guilt comes and all the other feelings of regret. Guilt brings torment to the soul.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

God’s Word can be implanted in our soul and saves our soul. God’s Word gives life to our soul. Just as someone who receives a heart transplant because his heart is not functioning right, so we need to receive God’s Word implanted because our thoughts are not right. We have been corrupted in our mind, will and emotions. When we receive God’s Word into our soul then it transforms our mind, will and emotions so that we will know what is right. Our mind will tell us the right thing to do and our will carries it out. The happiness we experience in our emotions is because we did what was right.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Sin is lawlessness and when we sin then we experience death to the soul.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. I John 3:4

Everyone does just what he wants to do. If a man loves a woman then he will show love to her. Many women try to make excuses for a man when he does not call, come see her, etc. but it is because he does not want to. There are always exceptions when something urgent does come up, but love will always want to make up what was missed. In the same way, many people try to make excuses for themselves about why they do not believe in God and/or do what He wants them to do, but the bottom line is that they do not want to believe in God. They do not want to do what He says. Belief and love are a matter of the will. A person does just what they want to do.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. I John 4:21

The Lord would not have commanded us to do something that we could not do. Every marriage that fails is because someone gave up in their mind and will to love their spouse. Everyone messes up. Love is covering another’s mess. Shame is making it known. We cover up messes with our will and we make messes known with our will. Love is not always easy but it is worth it. When you are committed to loving another then it is only a matter of time before you will make a mess and you will be thankful that the other chose to love you.

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When you are single and live alone then there are not many messes but there is no love. When a married couple have no children then their home is clean. However, there is great joy being in a loving marriage and there also is great fulfillment in having children. Many messes come in relationships but much happiness comes when life is done right.

A Life with Love Must Be a Wise Choice

One of the most misunderstood aspects of love is that many think that love is a feeling. Love is a choice of the mind and will and the emotions and feelings will follow. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions and is what allows you to enjoy all of the gifts that God, in His love, gives to mankind. One of His most precious gifts is a lover, friend, companion and soulmate whom you can go through life with and share in the joy of life. Love is a commitment and should be entered into with your mind and your will and if possible, very little emotion. When you make a major decision in life, such as, where you want to live, or go to school, or what career you want to pursue, then you use your mind. With your mind you try to make the choice objectively so that you can see clearly. How much greater is the decision as to whom you will marry and share life.

If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

The most important qualification for a marriage partner is who the other person chooses to serve. If you are a Christian and they are not then you will be miserable and they will be unhappy also because you all will not be of the same mind. They will have their god ad you will want to love the Lord God. You will not be able to share your greatest joys with the person who serves a different god. Who you serve is who you will love. Love is a choice in the God whom you choose to follow and worship. Whoever or whatever is your god will be the center of your life. If a person is self centered then they want to be their own god. If money is a person’s god then that will be the motivational factor in their life. If the Lord Jesus Christ is your God then you will want to please Him. No one can serve two masters and a marriage and home can not serve two masters. You will hate his god and he will hate your god if you both do not have to same Master in life.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. Matthew 6:24

You and your spouse must be of the same mind, otherwise there will not be unity. If you both are on the same page with the same mind then there will be little disagreement when it comes to decisions, and especially major decisions.

Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. I Corinthians 1:10

You both will want to have the same purpose in life, which means that you will be going in the same direction overall. Everything that you do will be towards the same goal. When you have the same purpose in life then each one of you will help the other achieve their unique calling and purpose in life and you both will complement each other rather than hinder one another. Each victory will be both of your victories and each sorrow will be shared. You will not cry alone.

make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Philippians 2:2

The more united that two married people are then the more each individual will achieve their full potential in life. The happier each one will be, will be directly proportional to the sameness in mind, the uniting of love and the oneness of purpose. However, all of this is only possible if both in the marriage are of one spirit. Two people can only be of one spirit if they are spiritually alive. Only Jesus Christ can make a person spiritually alive. When two people become spiritually alive then they have the capacity to be of one soul with each other. It is during the pre-marriage phase of a friendship that two people discover whether they are meant for one another. You must see the other person objectively for each of your own benefit.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? II Corinthians 6:14,15

Marriage is one of the greatest joys when it is done God’s way. The sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage and the only way that you will know if God brings you together is when you come to the altar to say your vows to God. He brings two people together and joins them. If you enter into physical intimacy before marriage then you will not see clearly if this person is the one. You are only robbing yourself of another one of God’s gifts and you are also blinding your own eyes to what you need to see in the other person. Once two people become physically intimate then they can no longer see objectively.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:6

Marriage protects the love. The vows are made to keep us faithful to our spouse. The vows are made to God and vows made to God can not be broken. They must be kept. If they are kept then both of you will be blessed and both of you will grow in the love of the Lord. Life and marriage were made to be sweet and they can be, but only, if you follow the instructions of the One who is the Author of life and the Giver of good gifts.

A Life with Love Must Choose

The Lord does not mention much about Abraham’s family in the Bible but it does say that his father worshiped false gods but Abraham did not. We don’t know where Abraham heard about the one true God, who is Lord of all, but Abraham chose to follow the Lord.

Joshua said to all the people, “Thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘From ancient times your fathers lived beyond the River, namely, Terah, the father of Abraham and the father of Nahor, and they served other gods. Joshua 24:2

We do know that Noah was still alive when Abraham was a boy and they lived in the same area. Whether Abraham heard first hand from Noah what the Lord had done in the flood we do not know. Noah was a preacher of righteousness and probably continued to preach after the flood.

and did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven others, when He brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; II Peter 2:5

Abraham had to make a choice, whom he would follow. Who you follow is who you will serve. It is hard to go against the tide, that is, to go against how others are believing. However, Abraham chose the Lord and the Lord chose Abraham and made him fruitful.

Then I took your father Abraham from beyond the River, and led him through all the land of Canaan, and multiplied his descendants and gave him Isaac. Joshua 24:3

The Lord called Abraham to trust Him and live by faith. The Lord is still calling men and women to trust Him and live by faith.

Now the Lord said to Abram,

Faith means that we trust God for His promises to us and we step out in faith on those promises. When we walk by faith then we do not walk by sight. Faith is believing that God is who He is and that He will be faithful to His Word.

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

We walk by faith all of the time when we believe someone is going to do what they say. If a friend says that they will meet us for lunch then we go to the place for lunch expecting them to show up. Faith in God is the same. If He said that He will do something then we can count on Him to do it. Faith is a choice. Love is a choice. When we love someone then we will believe them. Faith grows. As we see the Lord show Himself to be faithful to His Word then we can trust Him more. Love grows as faith grows but love must first choose to have faith in the one whom we choose to love. Abraham chose to love God and believe in Him and as a result he experienced God’s love and God’s faithfulness. We usually don’t doubt God’s power but we doubt His love. Faith believes that God loves us because He says that He loves us. Not only does He say that He loves us but He showed us His love.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

It is God’s grace that invites us to choose Him and come to Him. Faith is choosing Him and coming to Him. When we come to Jesus then we see His love, we feel His love and we know His love through His gift of salvation.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:4-9

The Lord is rich in mercy and loves us with a great love. He loved us when we were great sinners and dead in our spirit. He makes us alive on the inside because of Jesus. When someone comes to Jesus then they just begin the great journey of God’s love for them. His love for them will go through the ages into eternity. It is His grace that allows us to come to Him through faith and when we do, we receive the amazing gift of His love and we are saved from the torment, the guilt and the consequences of the messes that we have made as a result of our choosing to go our own way. When we choose Jesus then we choose also to live in His love and to walk in His ways. Life becomes good because His love is good. Love and faith is a choice and when we choose to love God and believe Him then we will also experience His love and faithfulness even as Abraham did.

A Life of A Great Marriage

A great marriage is God’s design for His children if it is His will for them to be married. He came that we might have an abundant life and part of that abundant life is an abundant marriage if marriage is a part of that life.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

It is the devil who comes only to steal, kill and destroy and he will do that not only in your life but in your marriage if you let him. The Bible says to resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:6-8 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

The first step to having a great marriage is to realize and acknowledge that you can not do it on your own. We all need God’s grace and the way to get God’s grace and help is to humble yourself before the Lord. He gives grace to the humble. He opposes the proud. Pride says that “I can do it on my own and I can do it my way.” When you humble yourself before the Lord then you are resisting the devil who whispers in your ear that “you have got this and don’t need the Lord”. Cleanse your hands means that you need to take it out of your hands and put it in the hands of the Lord by giving it to Him. Purify your hearts means that you can not be double minded, but single minded by being fully surrendered to the Lord. A double minded person is one who can not decide how to do something. Should they do it “this way or that way”. A pure heart says that you want only to do it God’s way. When we are fully surrendered to the Lord and put our marriage or future marriage in God’s hands then He will show us His ways and give us His grace. God’s ways are God’s wisdom and He will give to all who ask Him if they are not double minded.

James 1:5-8 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

So, the beginning of a great marriage is to ask God for wisdom. Don’t lean on your own understanding but trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Faith is trusting in the Lord and asking Him for wisdom is an expression of that faith. He wants to help you and direct you. His ways are perfect and He is good.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

If you will build your marriage on God’s wisdom then it will be firmly established and will be able to endure the storms of life. The days will be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Your marriage and home will be a refuge to you and all who enter.

Proverbs 24:3,4 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

A Life with Love Follows

Love leads but love must first learn to follow so that in the right time, love can lead right and lead with love. If love never follows then love will never understand the needs of followers when the time comes to lead. If love does not follow what and who is right, then love will not know what is the right and good thing to do.

A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher. Luke 6:40

Who a person follows is the most important decision in life that they will ever make. We only can do what we have seen and what we have been taught. We learn by following. Who you follow and who teaches you is who you will become like. When we come into the world we are like wet cement and we are all shaped by what we hear, what we are taught and what we see. Each person should ask themselves, “who do I want to become in life?” and “what kind of person do I want to become?” Who teaches you and who you follow is who you will become like.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Your heart is your soul and your soul is the core of who you are and what kind of person you are. From your heart will come all that you do. Everything that a person will ever do will come from who they are in their heart. It is in the heart that love resides, but also, it is in the heart that hate lives, along with anger, bitterness, jealousy and every other evil. All of our actions spring from our heart. If our heart is filled with what is good then we will do good. If our heart is filled with evil then we will do evil and bring grief to others.

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; Luke 6:45a

It is what goes into your heart that shapes your heart. If you hear words of hatred and bitterness then you too, will become hateful and bitter. If you hear words of love and kindness then that is also what you will become, for what you hear is what will shape your heart. What shapes your heart is what and who you become.

And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Matthew 4:19

The invitation that Jesus gave to men and women, more than any other invitation, was simply to follow Him. He said over and over again, “Follow Me”. If men and women followed Jesus then they would hear His teaching and they would become like Him. He is the only One is who is perfectly good and He always did what was right. If one follows Him then that one will learn to do what is good and right. The one who follows Jesus and does what He says will become like Jesus. He will learn to love with a Godlike love. He will be a good husband, father, friend, business man or whatever he becomes or she will become a good wife, mother, friend, neighbor or whatever else she becomes. The one who marries a follower of Jesus will be blessed for they will have as a companion and lover one who will do them good. The Lord is good and no evil dwells with Him.

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” John 8:12

The one who follows Jesus will not live in darkness and stumble over what they do not see. The follower of Jesus will have light and will be able to see where they are going. They will not have to just “hope” they are making the right decisions in life. The follower of Jesus will have the light of life.

When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. John 10:4

Those who follow Jesus will have a Leader who goes before them. Jesus will never lead where He has not already been.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; John 10:27

How do we know who the true followers of Jesus are? They will hear His voice through His Word and they will follow Him and do as He did. They will love others and do what is right.

Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” John 21:22

The commands and instructions of Jesus have not changed. He is still calling men and women to follow Him. If we will follow Him then He will lead us and teach us. He will teach us how to love and how to lead others. Whoever follows Jesus will live in His love. He will keep them and He will be faithful to them. Following Jesus is a life of great reward. He takes away the hatred, bitterness and jealousy and fills the heart with love, gratefulness, joy and peace. It is a life with no regrets. Following Jesus is a life of faith and seeing His faithfulness. Following Jesus is the greatest privilege and those who have followed Him realize that it is only in Christ do we experience love and life.

Now as Jesus was walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. Going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets; and He called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed Him. Matthew 4:18-22

What does it mean to follow Jesus? Following Jesus begins with reading His Words in the Bible to find out who the Lord is. Following Jesus is having a relationship with Him through receiving Him into your life. To follow Jesus is to do what He says through reading His Word and through prayer. Sometimes it means we need to leave what we were following so that we can follow Him. Following Him is immediate and if He is calling you today to follow Him then today is the day that you are to follow Him. If you give your life to follow Him then He will lead you and be your guide through this life and into eternal life. Following Jesus means that you will only taste of death but never die. You will pass out of death into life, not just in this present life, but also for the life to come. Following Jesus is forever.