A Life Understanding Great Relationships

Understanding What Characterizes Great Relationships

Your happiness in life is directly proportional to the greatness of your relationships. There are four things that will characterize your life when you are satisfied and in right relationships. These four things are joy, gladness, thanksgiving and you will want to express the happiness in your heart through song. We all have different degrees of intimacy in our relationships which is according to the relationship. However, love and peace are what will characterize all of your relationships when they are right.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,
Thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3b

Understanding the Levels of Great Relationships

Relationships are privileges that are given to us. The first relationship that needs to be in order is a person’s relationship with God. Jesus Christ came to bring love and peace on earth to those who are in a right relationship with God. Relationships go from greater to lesser degrees of intimacy. God knows everything and is intimately acquainted with all of our ways. Nothing is hidden from Him. The next relationship, if you are married, is your relationship with your spouse. Our spouse is the next level and our spouse knows us (or should know us) better than any other human. The greatest level of love and trust should be with a spouse and it is the only relationship where you are one in body, soul and spirit, or at least should be. The next level is family relationships. The next level is friendships. The next level is neighbors and acquaintances. The last level of relationships is enemies.When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7 If you want to have a great marriage and if you do, life is amazingly wonderful with a great marriage. A great marriage is a taste of heaven on earth and truly the most satisfying of all relationships. However, when you get married then you take all of your other relationships into that marriage. You take all of your baggage from past relationships with you. Oftentimes we do not realize all of the baggage that we have from our past relationships until it starts to make itself known in our marriage. The best thing you can do to have a great marriage is to be restored, if possible, and healed from past relationships. Relationships are difficult because they can cause hurts. When we are young we do not choose who most of our relationships are with and have no control over the hurt that happens. However, we may not be able to control what happens to us but we can control our responses. It is not what happens to us but our response to what happens that determines the destruction in our lives. Being hurt from people can bring anger or bitterness. If we are not healed then the anger or bitterness will come out in our relationships with others. Jesus Christ is the Great Healer. If you will go to Him then He can and wants to heal you. Spiritually and emotionally healthy people have healthy relationships. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14,15

A Life with Confidence

Everyone wants to not only feel confident but actually be confident on the inside and on the outside. You will soar in life if you have confidence. How does one live a life of confidence? People are drawn to a confident person.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

When you became a Christian and surrendered your life to the Lordship of Christ, He gave you His righteousness which gave you the confidence to go before God.

Ephesians 3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

He gave us His righteousness that we might live according to His righteousness. Righteousness is doing life right or in other words, doing life according to His way. He tells us to clothe ourselves in righteousness. He wants us to put aside our old self and the old way of doing life and put on the new self and His way of doing life.

Romans 5:17 For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.

Grace is not the license to do what we want but the freedom and power to do life the right way. That is why the Lord says that when sin abounds then grace abounds. He still gives you the grace to do what is right after you have messed us. As Christians we are not sinless but we should sin less. When we do sin we need to make it right, or in other words we need to do righteousness according to God’s ways. If you owe someone money then pay them. Then you will have confidence when you see them and not want to shrink away in shame. If you need to ask forgiveness then do it so that you will have a clear conscience with that person.

Proverbs 3:26 For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.

When He is your confidence you will not be afraid.

II Corinthians 3:4,5 Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God,

He is enough. When you experience this then you will want to trust Him more. If you are struggling with confidence in life about something in particular then do a word study in the Bible on that topic and then do exactly what the Bible says to do. He will help you and wants to prove His Word to you, that He is trustworthy.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Greatest Need

A man’s greatest need is to get rid of his guilt. We all come into the world innocent but the guilt quickly starts to build up because we all mess up. However, guilt makes a man’s life crooked and then that leads to more guilt. Guilt will torment the soul of a man and if he doesn’t get rid of his guilt then he will do stupid things to try to forget or escape from the guilt. Again, those things don’t work but just piles on more guilt. Guilt will destroy a man because when a man feels guilty then he will also believe other people are guilty, when they are not but his guilt is such a reality to him that it distorts his true sense of reality. Even more important, when a man is guilty then he starts to have a twisted view of God. This is why he needs to rid himself of his guilt because all of us respond to our view of God. If we believe that God is loving and cares about us then we will go to Him. If we believe that God is distant or “the old man upstairs” then we will not go to Him. We need God and God loves us, no matter how big of a mess we have gotten ourselves in. Man needs to always be able to go to God for help for He says that “He is a present help in time of trouble”.

The way of a guilty man is crooked, But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

Understanding the Provision for Man’s Greatest Need

The Lord says that if we will come to Him and confess our sin then He will cleanse our conscience and heart. It is just like in the old days of basketball, when a player would foul, then he would raise his hand, acknowledging that he fouled. Basically, that is what confession is, it is acknowledging that we have messed up and it is our fault. The greatest need of a man is to have a pure heart. When a man has a pure heart then he will see life clearly. He will also see God for who He really is and that is, that God is a loving and merciful God. He will also be able to love others with a pure heart and will not want to blame others.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

There is only One who can take away sin and guilt. The only One who can forgive is the One who paid for the sins of the world. He can cleanse the heart and make anyone pure no matter what they have done. However, the person who wants to be cleansed and forgiven must come to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive them. If he means it then he will turn from his sin to the Lord. Either we are going in the direction of our sin or we are going in the direction of the Lord.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” John8:3-11

When a person repents (turns from his sin to the Lord) and confesses and has been forgiven then they are set free from the guilt and sin. Then a person can see the Lord for who He really is, that He is kind. Until a person is forgiven then they will see the Lord as twisted and will view others as twisted (and the troubles in life as everyone else’s fault). Many men who are unfaithful to their wives will accuse their wife of unfaithfulness because of their own guilt. Until a man is restored to a right relationship with God and has been forgiven and cleansed from their sin and guilt then do not get into a relationship with him. Your life will become tormented through him as he is a tormented man.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25,26

A Life of Favor

The Bible says that favor is better than silver or gold but how do we receive favor? Favor will give you more opportunities than what money can buy and open doors for you. It is basically not what you know but who you know.

Proverbs 22:1 A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, Favor is better than silver and gold.

There are two things that are required to find favor in the sight of God and man. These two qualities are lovingkindness and truth. If you have these then not only will you receive favor but you will have a good reputation. Is everything that you do, done in love? Are you honest in all of your dealings and words? A little white lie is still a lie.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Are you seeking the Lord and desiring to know His ways? You bless yourself if you are and if you do not then you bring pain and injury to yourself. If you really don’t want to hear His ways then you love death.

Proverbs 8:32-36 “Now therefore, O sons, listen to me,
For blessed are they who keep my ways.
“Heed instruction and be wise,
And do not neglect it.
“Blessed is the man who listens to me,
Watching daily at my gates,
Waiting at my doorposts.
 “For he who finds me finds life
And obtains favor from the Lord.
“But he who sins against me injures himself;
All those who hate me love death.”

One of the easiest and best ways to learn His ways is to have a daily quiet time or in other words, when you have a quiet time then you are listening to the Lord, watching for Him every day and waiting for Him. You will not be disappointed. Start with trying to be faithful to spend time in His Word each day even if for only five minutes. Then spend time in prayer asking Him to help you each day. After you have been faithful for a month then try to increase to ten minutes.

Psalm 5:12 For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield.

His favor is also a protection from evil people and from making the wrong decisions. You will never regret seeking the Lord and His favor.

Genesis 6:8 But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

Do not be afraid to stand alone. Just as Noah stood alone, the Lord took care of him. He will care for you no matter what storms rage or whatever the circumstances are in life.


 

 

A Life that Understands How Love Can Not Be Found

Understand How Love Can Be Lost

A common mistake that is made concerning love is that people look for love in the wrong places. God’s design for love between a man and a woman is in marriage. Marriage protects the love and gives it satisfaction. When someone opens the gift of God’s love for marriage before the time then it will bring a moment of pleasure as if you were to open a Christmas gift before Christmas and wrap it back up for Christmas day. There would not be the anticipation as God designed nor the pleasure and satisfaction that is promised when done right. Love can only be found when done God’s way and when love is done God’s way it is very satisfying.Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

Understand What Happens When a Person Does Wrong

When a person does what is wrong then because of guilt he tries to close off a part of his soul to do the wrong and the very part of his soul that he closes off is the very part of him that allows him to experience the enjoyment and satisfaction of the pleasure. There will be a moment of pleasure but no lasting satisfaction so he is left feeling empty. There is a law of diminishing returns. He must do more and more to try to find the same pleasure and he must close off his conscience even more. He will find himself doing things that earlier his conscience would not have done. Men often do not realize that they are bringing destruction to themselves by their immorality and destroying their ability to love and have a satisfying relationship with a woman. When they close off their conscience to what they are doing then they close off their ability to find love. They start seeing women as objects to be used and since a person can not live with guilt they will often use alcohol or drugs to escape their guilt. After a while, if he continues then he will find himself among the walking dead. He will eat and breathe but his life will not have much meaning.

For the wages of sin is death, Romans 6:23a

Understand the destruction that will come to you with an immoral man. The same will happen to you if you are immoral. Your life will become empty and you will become bitter toward men. A girl will sometimes think that if she gives sex then she will find love but the very opposite happens. Love will not be found but rather disrespect and abuse. A man will not use and abuse a girl who is moral. If he won’t date you if you don’t sleep with him then do not date him nor have anything to do with him. He does not even have the capacity at this point to love.

For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life. Proverbs 2:18,19

A man who has been immoral with a woman must cry out to God for mercy and must turn to God with all of his heart. The Bible calls him naive and foolish for he thinks that he is getting something but in the end it will cost him his life. A woman who has been immoral must also cry out to God for help and mercy and turn from her way. The Lord will hear men and women who cry out to Him. He is the only hope for all have sinned and fallen short of God’s design. He is able to forgive, cleanse and bring healing and restoration.

A Life with Confidence

Everyone wants to not only feel confident but actually be confident on the inside and on the outside. You will soar in life if you have confidence. How does one live a life of confidence? People are drawn to a confident person.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

When you became a Christian and surrendered your life to the Lordship of Christ, He gave you His righteousness which gave you the confidence to go before God.

Ephesians 3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.

He gave us His righteousness that we might live according to His righteousness. Righteousness is doing life right or in other words, doing life according to His way. He tells us to clothe ourselves in righteousness. He wants us to put aside our old self and the old way of doing life and put on the new self and His way of doing life.

Romans 5:17 For if by the transgression of the one, death reigned through the one, much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.

Grace is not the license to do what we want but the freedom and power to do life the right way. That is why the Lord says that when sin abounds then grace abounds. He still gives you the grace to do what is right after you have messed us. As Christians we are not sinless but we should sin less. When we do sin we need to make it right, or in other words we need to do righteousness according to God’s ways. If you owe someone money then pay them. Then you will have confidence when you see them and not want to shrink away in shame. If you need to ask forgiveness then do it so that you will have a clear conscience with that person.

Proverbs 3:26 For the Lord will be your confidence, And will keep your foot from being caught.

When He is your confidence you will not be afraid.

II Corinthians 3:4,5 Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God,

He is enough. When you experience this then you will want to trust Him more. If you are struggling with confidence in life about something in particular then do a word study in the Bible on that topic and then do exactly what the Bible says to do. He will help you and wants to prove His Word to you, that He is trustworthy.

Matthew 5:6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

A Life Understanding the Mystery of Love in a Man

The Bible says that one of the things that no one understands is the way of a man with a woman when he is “in love” with her. Men will often do things when they are in love with a woman, that they would not do in any other situation. The Bible says that when a man meets the woman for him that she will be his desire and the delight of his eyes. She will also be his pride and his crown when he wins her heart and hand in marriage. Love is a mystery and it is one of the most powerful influences on earth. Love is intoxicating and satisfying when it is done God’s way. Love sweetens the blows of disappointment, gives comfort, fills the emptiness of loneliness and brings joy to the journey in life. Love energizes and motivates to higher goals and all of mankind longs for love. Love is far more than sexual and when someone is in love then it invades their spirit, soul and body and reaches to the very core of a person. It is pleasant and there is nothing that compares to it. Love is worth more than anything money can buy and without love a person’s life is meaningless. The way of a man with a woman is a mystery and a man is never the same again once he is in love with a woman.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18,19

Understand the Gift of a Man’s Love

When a man marries a woman then he gives her his heart, soul and body. When a man truly loves a woman there is nothing good that he will withhold from her. He longs for a wife that he can trust and that will do him good all of the days of her life. A man wants a wife who will be faithful to him through good times and bad times. When he believes that he has found this woman then he will give his all to her. A man is usually much more nervous on his wedding day because he is much more aware of the cost of his commitment and he is willing to commit himself completely and totally to her. He is taking responsibility for her and is willing to sacrifice his life, if necessary for her. A woman, on the other hand, is receiving the gift of his love on her wedding day. She loves him but he loves her more. She is waiting to see if his commitment and love is true. She believes he loves her but she still wants to see it, feel it and hear it over and over again. For this reason, it is not enough for the woman to hear on her wedding day, “I love you” and not ever hear it again. She will never get tired of hearing it nor will she tire of any sincere attempts at love. He will learn to love her and wise is the wife who receives her husband’s love with much gratitude.

and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; I Timothy 4:4b

A husband needs to feel that his wife appreciates him. Being married and loving his wife is a new experience for him and he wants to do it right. You have been blessed when you get married and a man gives his heart to you. Cherish this gift and never take it for granted. You will not ceased to be blessed when you marry a man who loves you. He will want to change where he needs to change and he will mature in his love and in his character. He will be a good husband and a good father and you will be blessed all of the days of your life.

A Life of Great Value

A person’s worth is what their life is valued at by what someone is willing to pay for it. Your life is of great worth because God Himself gave up His only begotten Son so that He might redeem you for Himself. We were worth little and not much more than the price of a slave because that is what we were before we came to be His child. We were slaves sold into bondage to sin and lived accordingly. You might not think that you were that bad because you don’t or did not do someone else’s sin but your sin was unique to you and you are just as guilty.

James 2:10 For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles in one point, he has become guilty of all.

Sin brought death and destruction and due to the wickedness of our hearts we were worth little.

Proverbs 10:20b The heart of the wicked is worth little.

The Lord gave us a new heart when we received Him and He restored us to a right relationship with Him.

Ezekiel 11:19 And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,

We are of great worth to the Lord. However, what is your value to others? Your value to others is how much you point them to the Lord and add to their relationship with Him and others. If you are a stumbling block then your life is worthless in helping others. If you cause division in families or churches then the Lord says that is something He hates and it is even an abomination to Him.

Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things which the Lord hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
And hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that run rapidly to evil,
A false witness who utters lies,
And one who spreads strife among brothers.

Are you sharing the Gospel with others? There are many ways to do this so that others can hear and receive the good news that Jesus Christ died for them and rose again that they might have eternal life. The Lord will help you. You can give or you can go or you can help others to go.

Romans 10:14,15 How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!”

There are only two things that are eternal and that is the souls of men and women and the Word of God. How are you investing your life into eternal values. How much eternal value do you have? The Lord tells us to store our treasures up in heaven where neither thieves break in and steal nor where moth and rust destroy.

Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Eternal value is of far greater worth than earthly value. Live a life for the Lord and your worth will be great because you will have done His will. He gave His life for you and has given you incredible value to be shared with others. The Lord says that those who refuse to listen to His words and who are stubborn and have gone after the gods of this world, they are worthless.

Jeremiah 13:10 This wicked people, who refuse to listen to My words, who walk in the stubbornness of their hearts and have gone after other gods to serve them and to bow down to them, let them be just like this waistband which is totally worthless.

Those who have lived for eternal value and have listened to His Words and done His Words have stored up great worth in heaven. They have done the will of the Heavenly Father and have not considered their life as dear to themselves but have known and lived a life that is pleasing to the Lord.

Acts 20:24 But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.

You do not know the day when your course will be finished. Have you lived your life pleasing to the Lord? If He were to call you home tonight would you be ready?

Luke 12:20,21 But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?’ So is the man who stores up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

Invest what the Lord has given you in eternal values and your life will be of great worth here on earth and in the life to come.

 

 

A Life that Understands What Is Desirable in a Man

What is emphasized as desirable in a man before marriage is of much less worth after marriage. After you get married you hardly notice a man’s looks but it shouts at you how he treats you. Some men think that a woman wants him for his body and he will spend hours working out to get and maintain his physical attractiveness. There is no question that no woman wants to marry a fat man, unless maybe she is overweight herself. However, way too much emphasis is put on the outward appearance and generally a man has no control over how good looking he is or even the shape or size of his body, other than the fat content. A man does have control over how he treats his wife. One of the most desirable qualities in a man is kindness. Who you marry is who you plan to live the rest of your life with and it is a great pleasure to live with someone who is kind. It is a bad experience to live with a selfish and conceited man. Marriage is for life and you will be glad if the man you marry is kind and considerate.

What is desirable in a man is his kindness, Proverbs 19:22

Understand What is Most Undesirable in a Man

There is a quality in a man that a girl wants and needs to avoid. Do not go with or be friends with a man who has anger issues. You will regret marrying a man who can not control his anger. He will get angry at you and he will get angry at your children. There will be tension in the household because no one will know when his next blow up will be or who will be the object of his anger. Anger can easily turn into wrath and then to rage. The world is full of angry people and they are people who you want to avoid. Anger is a symptom of even bigger issues and unless you want trouble and sorrow, then stay away from a man with anger and do not go with him and certainly do not marry him.

Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Proverbs 22:24

Anger is a response to not getting your way. People who want to control others will often do it through anger and anger can easily lead to abuse verbally and physically. A father can often see these qualities in another man. If you have a father that you can go to then have any man interested in you spend time with him. Kindness is who God is and if a man’s life is surrendered to the Lord then there is a much greater chance of him being a kind man. A kind man’s life will also be much smoother and therefore your life will have much less problems. A kind person receives favor from God and from others.

Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute.
In the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3,4

A Life of Intimacy

The more intimate you are in your relationships the more fulfilling they will be. This also is true of your relationship with the Lord.

Psalm 25:14 The intimate counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him so they may know his covenant.

The intimacy of the Lord is for those who fear Him so if you want to know Him in a close way then you must fear Him. What does it mean to fear Him?

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverted mouth, I hate.

Do you hate sin? What about the pride of life? What about pride of knowledge and the way of the world? What about cursing? Do you ever let a bad word slip out of your mouth? You will never know the intimacy of the Lord unless you first learn to fear Him. You can only go as deep in your relationships with others as you go with the Lord. If your relationship with Him is shallow then your relationships with others will be shallow. How does He show us His intimacy? He identifies with us, knows us completely and forgives us completely.

John 20:17 …but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.’

Forgiveness is what Jesus offered to us. Forgiveness is the promise never to bring up an offense again. This will destroy intimacy in any relationship. Jesus never brings up your sins again.

Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Are you still bringing up past sins of others? Are you allowing Satan to do this in your mind? This will destroy your relationships and your joy. The next time Satan tries to rob you through your thought life then pray to the Lord. Thank the Lord for Jesus and that He has forgiven your sins and their sins. Satan can not stand for you to do this and will stop bringing these thoughts up to you. And stop bringing up the past to others.

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.