A Life Strong In Storms of Life

Sometimes the people you least expect will suddenly fail in life. Most people have a fear of failing. Is there anything that you can do to build a solid life that endures the hardships and storms of life? Trouble comes to all of us and many of the struggles will test us and either strengthen or destroy.

Job 5:7 For man is born for trouble,
As sparks fly upward.

If storms and hardships are inevitable then what can be done to ensure that our lives, marriages and children will make it through safely. Just as in areas where storms and hurricanes come at intervals, there are people who prepare and there are people who do not prepare. The time to prepare for the storms are before they come just as in real life, it is too late once the storm is upon you. The Lord tells the story of two men who built their houses. One house lasted and the other was destroyed.

Luke 6:47-48 Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built.

The first man came to the architect and designer of the house to be built and listened to Him. Then the builder did what He told him to do and then built his house according to the blueprint that was given to him. He did exactly according the instructions that he was given and his house stood strong during the good times and the bad times.

Luke 6:48 But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

The second man did not come, as noted of the first man, but he did hear but did not do according to what he heard. He did what he thought was best. When the storm came and the torrent burst against that house then immediately it collapsed. The ruin of that house was great. Great will be the ruin of your life if you do not listen to the Master Designer and build your house according to His plans and on the right foundation.

I Corinthians 3:11 For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

There is only one correct foundation for any life and that is Jesus Christ. Then we must be careful that we build upon it according to the Word of God.

I Corinthians 3:10b But each man must be careful how he builds on it.

We need to build our life on the foundation of Jesus Christ. This means that before we can correctly build our life we must have Jesus Christ in our life as our Lord and Savior. Then He will instruct us each day how to build our life. What decisions to make and how to get to where we need to go. If we will do this then we will not fear when the storm comes and we will not have regrets. He will give us the grace for what we need to do so that we do it right trfg.

I Corinthians 3:10a According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation

Be wise and do it right and you will be blessed. Your spouse will be blessed if you get married and your children will be blessed if the Lord gives you children. You will be a blessing to many and your life will bring comfort and joy to others.

Proverbs 24:3,4 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

Don’t live your life in vain. Let the Lord build it and you be faithful to do exactly according to what He says.

Psalm 127:1a Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;

Just as Job said earlier that man is born for trouble, you too will be able to say as Job said that the friendship of God is over your house, that is, if you build your life on God’s Word.

Job 29:4b When the friendship of God was over my tent;

 

A Life as A Friend of God

One of the most amazing aspects about the Lord is His offer for a friendship with Him. A friendship with God…can there be anything greater? Yet, He says He will be our Friend and we can be His friend. There are two necessary requirements to be His friend. However, before we can be His friend we must be forgiven, otherwise our sin separates us from fellowship with Him.

Colossians 1:13,14 For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

We have forgiveness only in Jesus Christ and once we receive Him as our Lord and Savior then we are transferred from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of Jesus Christ. He becomes our King, Shepherd, Friend, Lord and Savior and we become His friend. He is our King, which means that He rules in our life and we are subject to Him. He is our Shepherd, which means that He will guide us and we will hear His voice and follow Him. He is our Friend because He laid down His life for us. He is our Lord, which means that He is Lord of our life and we are to obey Him. He is our Savior, which means that He has saved us from the penalty and power of sin and we are forever grateful to Him for saving us eternally as well as saving us every day. He also allows us to be His friend. There are two characteristics of a friend of God. The first characteristic is that a friend of Jesus Christ rejoices when he/she hears His voice.

John 3:29 He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this joy of mine has been made full.

Do you get great joy when you hear His voice? The Lord promises us that we will hear His voice. If you are not hearing His voice either you do not belong to Him as one of His sheep or you are not His friend.

John 10:27,28 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.

The second characteristic of a friend of God is that they will keep His commandments.

John 15:12-14 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you.

We can not be a friend to all if we are a friend of God. We can not have a friendship with the world if we want to be a friend of God.

James 4:4 You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

Friendship with the world is spiritual adultery and is hostility toward God. If you wish to be a friend of the world then you make yourself to be an enemy of God and the love of God is not in you.

I John 2:15-17 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.

The word “lust” simply means desire. Do you desire the things of the flesh and the eyes? Is the boastful pride of life important to you? Do you care what others think of you or do you only care what your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ thinks of you? Ask the Lord to help you if these are struggles with you. Do you get upset over the things of the world?

Psalm 75:25-28 Whom have I in heaven but You?
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For, behold, those who are far from You will perish;
You have destroyed all those who are unfaithful to You.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

 

A Life that Lives Out Love

The Lord is perfect in all of his ways. He is so good to us because He always gives us a free choice. When we become a Christian we do not have to love Him. However, when we experience His unfathomable love for us why would we not want to love Him with all of our heart, soul and mind?

I John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

When we become a Christian the Lord sets us free. He does not set us free to do what we want but He sets us free to do as we ought. We can still become enslaved again or we can live in the freedom that He paid for with His blood.

Galatians 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

When we live according to the flesh then we become a slave again to sin.

Galatians 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

God’s grace is what enables us to live in obedience to Him and to remain free. God’s grace became available to us through the cross. Do not allow the free choices you have to turn the grace of God into licentiousness.

Jude 4 For certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Don’t allow your freedom or liberty in Christ, which is your freedom to choose, become a stumbling block because you want to indulge your flesh.

I Corinthians 8:9 But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.

If you love someone with the love of Christ then you will be more concerned about their relationship with the Lord than your own pleasures and indulgences. If you love the Lord then you will love His children.

I John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

It is by our love for one another that the world will know that we are His disciples.

John 13:34.35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

 

 

A Life that is Helped and Helps

We all need to help and to be helped. We need to help each other stay on God’s path. We need each other and the Lord has provisions for us. There are three layers of relationships that ladies need to help them stay on God’s path and do what is right.

Hebrew 13:7 Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the outcome of their way of life, imitate their faith.

The top layer are those whom you look up to and respect. If you can have a loving relationship with this person then that is great but sometimes it may be someone you admire from a distance whose life inspires you. However, you definitely need some people in the upper layer who love you and will pray for you and keep you accountable. This person sees your needs and wants to see you grow in the Lord. Find people who are growing in their relationship with the Lord whom you want to be like and you want to go where they are going in life. Be careful who you aspire to be like because you will become like the person you allow to teach you. Choose godly women who love the Lord. Look at the fruit in their lives.

Luke 6:40 A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.

The second layer are the friends that you choose. This layer will love you and want to be with you. Both of you agree that you want to be faithful to the Lord, which means that you want to be faithful to honor your parents or husband, or you both want to be faithful in school or on the job.

Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together, unless they be agreed?”

You both want to follow the Lord and you stimulate one another to do that very thing. You will stick with each other through thick and thin, no matter what the circumstances.

Proverbs 18: 24 …there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

You also want your closest friends to be wise people who seek the Lord, fear and respect Him and want to be a disciple of Jesus. A wise person lives each day as though it is his last so that he will be ready to meet the Lord.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

A fool lives as if there is no God.

Psalm 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”

Who you choose as your friends is one of the most important decisions you will make in life. Choose right and you will treasure them and you will bless each other. Choose wrong and you will end up in situations you never intended to be and you will go places you never wanted to go. A true friend is more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than your relationship with them.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,

The last layer is the bottom layer and this layer are the girls or young ladies who look up to you. This layer keeps you on the straight and narrow because you do not want to disappoint them. Often they think that you can do no wrong. Of course you know the truth about yourself but they truly believe the best in you. Also, this layer is important because the Lord tells us to reach out to others and especially to those who can not pay you back. The Lord Himself will make sure that your life is watered if you water others.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.

The Lord Himself was like this.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

If you are missing a layer then ask the Lord to provide and then seek out opportunities to meet people. This principle is seen in life with grandparents, parents and children. Also, Jesus looked to the Father and had the disciples, especially Peter, James and John as friends and reached out to the multitude.

An easy way to remember this is to call it the “oreo” principle. (If you like oreo cookies.) The top layer are those who love you in spite of your faults and the bottom layer are those who love you but do not see your faults. Then the sweet stuff in the middle are your friends who see the good, the bad and the ugly but who love you anyway and who will be there for you. Can it get any better? How is your “oreo” principle?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Life that Gives and Receives Kindness

Kindness is the sweet oil and fragrant perfume of life. There is no joy to life without kindness and of all desirable qualities in a spouse that one would want it is kindness. Marry a kind person and you will be blessed your entire married life. Marry a cruel person and there will be no end to your misery.

Proverbs 19:22a What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

Kindness is what is desirable in a man. A cruel man will only receive harm and that harm will affect everyone in his life.

Proverbs 11:17 The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.

How can you tell if a man is cruel? Women are easily deceived and unless we have a man in our life, which should be a father, to tell us the truth we can be led astray by the wooing of a cruel man. We will not see the truth until it is too late. There is another quality that describes the cruel man and that is, he is a rebellious man.

Proverbs 17:11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.

If you want abuse and cruelty then a rebellious man will give that to you. If you want to have a sweet life and a blessed marriage then marry a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. The Lord is kind and those who walk with Him learn and become kind. Kindness comes to those who are kind.

Proverbs 18:25a With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Look at how a young man treats his mother and his sisters to see what his true character is. In the same way, if you want to be blessed in life then learn to be kind to others. Kindness is not random but it is purposeful. We have to learn to do good. The Lord will help us. It is the responsibility of a mother to teach her children to be kind but if you did not have a godly mother then the Lord will show you and teach you.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Love kindness and you will be like the Lord and doing what He requires of you.

Mich 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Do kindness and you will have the favor of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Be filled with the Lord and His Spirit will show kindness through you.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Don’t grow weary. Be faithful. The Lord will be with you.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

A Life that Gives and Receives Kindness

Kindness is the sweet oil and fragrant perfume of life. There is no joy to life without kindness and of all desirable qualities in a spouse that one would want it is kindness. Marry a kind person and you will be blessed your entire married life. Marry a cruel person and there will be no end to your misery.

Proverbs 19:22a What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

Kindness is what is desirable in a man. A cruel man will only receive harm and that harm will affect everyone in his life.

Proverbs 11:17 The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.

How can you tell if a man is cruel? Women are easily deceived and unless we have a man in our life, which should be a father, to tell us the truth we can be led astray by the wooing of a cruel man. We will not see the truth until it is too late. There is another quality that describes the cruel man and that is, he is a rebellious man.

Proverbs 17:11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.

If you want abuse and cruelty then a rebellious man will give that to you. If you want to have a sweet life and a blessed marriage then marry a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. The Lord is kind and those who walk with Him learn and become kind. Kindness comes to those who are kind.

Proverbs 18:25a With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Look at how a young man treats his mother and his sisters to see what his true character is. In the same way, if you want to be blessed in life then learn to be kind to others. Kindness is not random but it is purposeful. We have to learn to do good. The Lord will help us. It is the responsibility of a mother to teach her children to be kind but if you did not have a godly mother then the Lord will show you and teach you.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Love kindness and you will be like the Lord and doing what He requires of you.

Mich 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Do kindness and you will have the favor of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Be filled with the Lord and His Spirit will show kindness through you.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Don’t grow weary. Be faithful. The Lord will be with you.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

A Life of a Beautiful Woman

Beauty to a young lady is like wealth to a young man. If there is not the maturity to go with it then it will become a curse rather than a blessing. It will attract unscrupulous individuals and the naive young lady will be blinded and deceived by the attention her beauty brings to her. Rather than it being used for good it will become her snare if it becomes her main attraction and confidence. There is only one true confidence and that is the Lord. A beautiful young lady must learn to put her confidence in the Lord rather than in the outward appearance which she was given from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

If she is wise then she will want the attraction of her inner beauty of being a godly young lady to be greater than the temporary beauty of her outward attraction which will only fade with time.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

A godly young lady who puts her confidence in the Lord will only become stronger and stronger as she matures. Her influence will be greater and her beauty will radiate even more as her countenance will be lifted up.

Ephesians 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

The knowledge of the Lord will brighten her face as she walks with Him and gains in wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 8:1 Who is like the wise man and who knows the interpretation of a matter? A man’s wisdom illumines him and causes his stern face to beam.

Being godly, she will reach out to others and the wisdom that the Lord gives her will feed many.

Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous feed many,

She will live according to God’s ways, or at least seek to know Him and walk with Him and will grow more like Him, and in doing so, will lead others to the Lord and teach others how to walk with Him. She will not only be beautiful on the inside and outside but she will shine in brilliance like the stars forever and ever.

Daniel 12:3 Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

A truly beautiful woman will realize that her beauty is like a beautiful vase and that it is what is inside the vase that gives off the sweet fragrance. The vase can only enhance what is inside but can never replace it.

Ephesians 5:2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

As you learn to walk in love as the Lord commanded and as He has loved you and given Himself up for you, then you too will become a fragrant aroma of the Lord in this world. As your outward beauty fades the inner beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ will grow stronger and stronger and permeate everywhere you go.

II Corinthians 2:14-16a But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life.

There is no greater influence in the world than a beautiful woman who is filled with the Lord’s Holy Spirit and whose life represents the knowledge and love of the Lord. Her life has a power that is greater than all positions in the world and her influence will last for all eternity. Wise is the beautiful young lady who seeks to know the Lord and seeks to be like Him in every way. She will be like salt and light which changes everything that it touches.

 

A Life with Friendships

A true friend is rare and is like “icing on the cake” in life. A friend is one of the sweetest gifts that the Lord gives here on earth. If you have one true friend then you are blessed and if you are a true friend to someone else then you are a blessing.

Proverbs 17:17a A friend loves at all times,

A friend is a gift and a trust that the Lord gives to people. Friends are not to be used and expectations will destroy friendships. The trust that someone else gives to you is to be guarded. They are entrusting to you their heart and soul. Prize it and you will keep it. Take it for granted and you will lose it.

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

Be careful who your friends are because they need to be trustworthy. Just as you need to learn to love them and overlook their sins so they need to overlook your transgressions. Both need to seek God’s love which is pure.

Proverbs 11:13 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Be the friend that you want others to be to you. A true friend loves at all times and is trustworthy. A true friend will tell you the truth. A true friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than your relationship with them.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

A true friend will love with a sacrificial love and you will learn as much from them as they will from you. The greatest way to have a true friend is to be a true friend. True friendship is a oneness of the soul and spirit. For this reason, a Christian can only have a true friendship with another Christian. Their friendship must be built upon the Lord Jesus Christ as He showed us what a true friend is by calling us His friend.

John 15:13-15 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. He has called us to lay down our lives for others and this is His command. As we grow in our relationship with the Lord and keep His new command that He gave to us then He will make known to us His will and His ways. If you really want to be happy then be a friend of God. He calls you to be His friend.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

 

A Life that Is Prepared for Marriage

The best time to prepare for marriage is before you get married. It is a God given desire to want to get married. However, the more you are prepared for marriage the easier it will be for you. The more mature you are as a person the happier you will be in your marriage and the easier your marriage will be. Marriage will never make anyone happy. If you are not happy before you are married then you will not be happy after you are married. No one can meet the needs in your life that God designed for God alone to meet. Marriage does give you meaning or purpose in life. A mate will never make you feel secure of fill any emptiness in your life. The less expectation that you have for your mate then the less disappointment you will feel. Expectations destroy relationships. The more you learn to look to the Lord for strength, security, love, joy, peace, self control, patience. kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness then the happier you will be and the you will also bring great joy to whomever you marry.

Galatians 5:22-24 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Do not use the flesh to attract a mate because then you will seek to use your flesh to keep him. This will bring great insecurity to you because a man’s eyes are never satisfied.

Proverbs 27:20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied.

However, it is important to do your best to look your best because man does look on the outward appearance.

I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

However, you want the inner beauty of the Lord to be greater than any outward appearance. Your outward appearance is decaying but the inner man is being renewed day by day.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

The Lord will strengthen you through His Spirit in the inner man to become a godly woman who fears the Lord. You must learn to walk in the Spirit on a daily moment by moment basis. This is the greatest preparation for marriage.

Ephesians 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

Again, a mate will never fulfill you or make you happy. The sooner you learn this lesson the happier you will be. Young ladies have a tendency to live in the “if” or “when ” world. “If I were …” or “if I had …” or “when I …” and the truth of the matter is that the “if” and “when” does not change the contentment of your soul. You must learn to be content in Jesus Christ. He must be your desire. The more you learn to be content in Him then the more content you will be in whatever state He has you, whether married or single.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

Contentment, gratefulness and joy all go together. The greatest gift that you can give to yourself and to others and especially to the person you marry is an attitude of gratitude. No one likes to be around a complainer or someone who is never happy. Someone once said that an unhappy wife is a public rebuke to her husband. Cultivate a grateful spirit and begin now by expressing thanks to your parents and those who have helped you in life. Not only do you quench the Spirit when you do not give thanks but you will quench your husband’s spirit and what he once wanted to do for you he will no longer do because it isn’t “exactly the way you like it”.

Ephesians 5:16-19 Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit;

Learn to compliment a man. A man longs for praise. The Lord made him this way and most men are starved for praise and they will gravitate to the people who praise them. This is crucial because the Lord made a man to conquer and he needs the praise of his wife to go out and conquer the world in his job. Also, if you do not praise him then other women will. Even if you do praise him other women will still do it. This is one of the ways that an immoral woman gets a man to commit adultery. She flatters him with her tongue. He does not know that it is flattery and the aim of flattery is to manipulate so you want to make sure that he is filled with your praises if you are his wife. Learn now to praise. You can begin by learning to praise your brothers and your brothers in Christ. Look for Christlikeness and then point it out to him how you see the Lord in him.

Proverbs 2:16 To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words;

Learn to dress in a modest manner so that a godly man will be attracted to you. If you dress in such a way that stimulates a man by stirring up desires that can not be fulfilled righteously then you are a stumbling block. Why should the Lord give you to a godly man who is seeking Him. No, rather, if you dress in a provocative manner then a man who is “all about himself” will be drawn to you and since you dressed in a deceptive manner you will be the one who will end up being deceived. He will deceive you into you believing that he actually cares for you when he does not care for you but loves himself.

Proverbs 23:6,7 Do not eat the bread of a selfish man,
Or desire his delicacies;
For as he thinks within himself, so he is.
He says to you, “Eat and drink!”
But his heart is not with you.

Finally, do dress in a modest manner, as is fitting for one who seeks to please the Lord. Learn to fear the Lord and obey Him. Honor you parents, as the Lord has commanded. If you do not honor your parents then you will struggle with honoring and respecting your husband. The Lord gives the woman to the man, not the man to the woman. You need to ask yourself if you want to serve, desire, submit to and respect a man and consider him more important than yourself. If you are not ready for that then ask the Lord to help you and go to older women who have a good marriage and ask them to teach you. Marriage can be a sweet fellowship and relationship between a man and a woman if it is done God’s way. It is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church. Just as Christ died for the church, the husband is the love His wife in a sacrificial way and be willing to die for her. In the same way, a wife is to live for her husband (as the church is to live for Christ) and the way that she learns to serve and love Him in this Christlike manner is to die to herself. Marriage is a dying of two selves so that the Lord can raise up one (in body, soul and spirit) to glorify Him.

Ephesians 5:31-33 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

It is a mystery but it is a beautiful mystery and the most intimate relationship on earth when done God’s way. To love and be loved is what we all long for but it is only when we are surrendered to the Lord and learn His ways will we ever know what it means to live in intimate fellowship in marriage.

 

 

A Married Life Filled with Love

There are things that destroy love and there are requirements of love that are essential to lasting love. One of the roots of true love is moral excellence. There must be trust and respect to have true love in a marriage and the prerequisite to love, trust and respect is moral excellence. If you want true love within the marriage then you need to have moral excellence before marriage. Moral excellence is not compromising morally. If someone has moral excellence before marriage then they will almost always have moral excellence after marriage. Immorality is taking something that is not yours to take. A man has no right to any physical affection that he would not have with his sister. Any kind of physical affection has meaning to a female. Until a man takes a woman to be his wife he is to treat her with the same respect that he would treat his sister or mother.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

A good measure of how to treat another one of the opposite sex is if this person married your best friend would there be any awkwardness. You do not know who you will marry so do not speculate or presume. Through presumption comes strife.

Proverbs 13:10a Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife,

A great marriage is when two people become one in every way. Marriage is the only way it is possible for two people to become one spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. When there is a violation of God’s ways then it prevents the oneness from happening and that leads to emptiness and frustration. Moral excellence is the requirement for oneness and love, trust and respect is what allows oneness to happen. Oneness spiritually can happen with anyone who is a Christian and so for there to be spiritual oneness in marriage both spouses must be Christians.

II Corinthians 6:14,15 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

Once there is the common faith in Christ then it is good for there to be attraction of a friendship. This is the oneness of soul. Again, no physical because that is a lack of moral excellence and once there is the physical then the soul aspect becomes secondary. The Lord chose Eve to first be a companion to Adam and a great marriage is great companionship and friendship. In a great marriage there is a great need for clear communication and this is developed through friendship. One of the best ways to see what a person is like is to see how they interact in a group of friends. When a man and a woman spend much time alone together, even on the friendship level, then at least one of them will become emotionally attached and the breaking of the friendship will be painful and especially if there has been any defrauding. Defrauding is communicating that there is more to the relationship than there really is. Defrauding is a lack of moral excellence.

I Thessalonians 4:3-8 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.

The third aspect of oneness in a great marriage is the oneness physically. You will be very glad if you wait. There is a peace, comfort, joy, security and great love for the couples who wait until marriage for the physical. It is so great that the Lord says that the man will outshine the sun when he comes out of his bedroom on his wedding night.

Psalm 19:1-5 The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world.
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;

A man loses as much as a woman if he compromises before his wedding night. He has made his wife feel guilty and when they are intimate after marriage it will be a reminder to her of her guilt. She will not trust him like she would if he had exercised self control before marriage. Before marriage she may have thought it was love but after marriage she will realize that it was lust. They both lose and will struggle for the oneness that God designed.