A Life that Understands that Your Husband is a King

Understanding God’s Design for a Man to Be a King

The Lord made every man to be a king. A king is a ruler and God made men to conquer and rule. A man needs a queen to share in his kingdom. The most important decision that a man makes, other than where he will spend eternity, is who will be his queen. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. If he chooses an excellent wife then he will have far more advantages in life to conquer and rule. An excellent wife will be a wife that he can trust. She will only do him good and will not cause him grief. She will have his best interests in her mind and do what is right. She will give him honor. An excellent wife will not seek to get her own way but she will seek to do her husband’s will. She will not manipulate him or keep secrets from him, such as, how she spends money, where she goes and who she talks to. She will not talk about his struggles, weaknesses or faults with other women (not even with her mother). She will not correspond with other men. Her husband will be able to trust her completely and he will be able to delegate responsibilities to her. He will listen to her advice for she will have his best interests at heart and not have ulterior self-seeking motives. She will understand that a children’s glory is their father and she will teach their children to honor their father and she will not ever criticize him to their children. She will not ever say, “don’t tell your father”. If there is a question as to what to do, then she will say, “let us ask your father” and if he is not available then she will know her husband well enough to know what he would want them to do. An excellent wife will recognize her husband’s right to rule.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4

Understanding How a Man Becomes a King

A man first learns to rule well by ruling his wife. This is not a bad thing but it is a good thing because it is her protection. She was deceived in the garden by the Serpent’s beauty and charm. She is still easily deceived. God made husband and wife to be joint rulers and she is also a ruler but her husband rules over her. God rules over the husband. If she will trust God then she can learn to trust God through her husband. The Lord will protect her from harm if she will trust the Lord. The Lord’s provision for protection for females is first their father and then their husband. They must stay under their God given authority. If they get out from or go against their God given authority then it is only a matter of time before they will be violated. After a man rules his wife then he rules his children. An excellent wife helps him to be king in their home. She teaches her children to obey their father, not only through her words, but through her example. When a man rules well in his household then he believes he can conquer in the world. He can face each day with confidence.

To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

Men are very different from women, not only physically, but psychologically. When a man is pleased with a woman then he will give up to half of his kingdom. He wants a queen who will share in his glory. He is looking for a trustworthy woman to love and one whom can give himself to and all that he has. If you become that excellent wife then you will have no regrets. Your husband and children will praise you and your works will praise you also. You will be a success and your husband will be a success also.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:28-31

A Life with Love on How to Love

Love is not random nor are some people just lucky to find love. Love does not just happen with two people. Just as there are principles in finance and laws of nature so there are laws and principles on love. Within a person there must be the root for love and the right nurturing for love to grow and mature. There is a root for love and just as the roots produce the fruit in nature so love is a fruit with a certain root within an individual. We can not produce a true and lasting love on our own. It must be produced within us and love must have the necessary root so that it might bear the fruit of love. Without this root there will be no true and lasting love. When there is a lasting and true love between two people then there will also be the other characteristic of a loving relationship and, that is, there will be trust. Love and trust are in all great marriages.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. II Peter 1:5-7

Moral excellence is the characteristic of anyone who is worthy of trust. A morally excellent person is one who will not compromise. They don’t lie, cheat or steal. They don’t deceive others nor slander others. A morally excellent person keeps their commitments even to their own hurt. Their word is good and can be trusted. These characteristics are what we want in our leaders, neighbors, friends and marriage partners, but more important than desiring them in others, is for us to cultivate them within ourselves. How blessed is the person who has a leader, neighbor, friend or spouse with moral excellence and even more blessed is the person whose own life is characterized by moral excellence. The root of true love is moral excellence.

Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; II Peter 1:2

The beginning of moral excellence is a knowledge of God. All moral excellence is based in God. Some people want to do good without God, but it is impossible to do good with a pure heart, on our own, for our very own hearts are corrupted. When life is all about self then there will be a conflict of interest. If there is One greater than ourselves that we want to please, then we will be willing to sacrifice what we want, for the knowledge of Him. When we want to please Him then we will know Him and when we know Him then grace and peace will be multiplied to us. Grace and peace are found in Jesus Christ. We can not give to others what we ourselves do not have. When we receive grace and peace then we can give grace and peace to others.

seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. II Peter 1:3

When we know the Lord Jesus Christ and we receive His grace and peace then He also gives us His divine power in everything that pertains to life and living a Christlike life. This divine power comes through the true knowledge of Him. We must know the Lord, not merely know about Him, but we must know Him with our heart, soul and mind. This is how we receive the true knowledge of God that comes through His Word, which is the revelation of who He is. He has called us to know Him and He wants us to share in His glory and excellence. We do this through following Him in obedience to His Word.

For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. II Peter 1:4

The Lord wants us to have a loving marriage and relationships where there is trust. The Lord plans only good for us. He wants us to escape the corruption that is in the world. The corruption in the world comes from the evil desires of others and if we don’t become like Christ, who is good and loving, then we too, will be corrupted by lust. Lust is the same Greek word as desire. A desire becomes a lust when it is desire that is out of the will of God. God’s will is moral excellence. The only way that we can become partakers of the divine nature is through the promises of God. The promises of God are magnificent, glorious and excellent. When we live according to His Words and His promises then we will live a magnificent, glorious and excellent life. In doing so, we will become trustworthy and will be a blessing to many. If we choose to live according to our own ways and desires then much grief will come to us and many broken and damaged relationships. Our lives will become corrupted.

For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; but the word they heard did not profit them, because it was not united by faith in those who heard. Hebrews 4:2

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the beginning of moral excellence. Not just believing that Jesus Christ lived, but also believing that He is the Son of God, that He lived for you, that He died for you, that He was raised from the dead for you and He lives today for you to know Him. He loves you. This is the good news. However, this good news will only profit those who believe it and unite themselves to Christ in faith. When a person comes to Christ then they receive Jesus Christ into their life and their life starts to become transformed in that excellent and glorious likeness of Christ through His precious and magnificent promises.

A Life that Is Faithful and Full of Faith

Since there is some unfaithfulness in marriages the question comes up, “What should a wife do if her husband has been unfaithful to her?”. That is an excellent question. What should a wife do? She should be faithful. She should always do what is right. Just because her husband has been unfaithful to his marriage vows it does not mean that she should be unfaithful to her marriage vows. Marriage vows are made to God. They are not made to each other but to God. She should keep her marriage vows to God…to love her husband for better or for worse. Circumstances do not change our vows. Vows to God can not be annulled. A marriage is a permanent oneness and is “until death do us part”. A wife is to stay with her husband and not leave him.

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband I Corinthians 7:10

It is the Lord that says that she should not leave her husband. The Lord is very much able to deal with her husband. Her husband is not her responsibility. It is her responsibility to be the wife that God designed for her to be and to fulfill her responsibilities to the Lord. She needs to not say anything to her husband, nor should she tell other people what he has done, but rather she is to find a older godly woman who she can talk to and confide in about her situation. The Lord will take care of the wife if she will trust in the Lord even if her husband does not treat her right. Sarah was a beautiful example of this when Abraham was willing for another man to have sexual relations with his wife. Sarah trusted the Lord and the Lord did not allow the man to touch her. A woman’s biggest protection is to be in God’s will and to obey the Lord.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. I Peter 3:1-6

Although it is very painful for the wife when a husband has been unfaithful to his wife, it will be even more painful to disobey the Lord in what He says. John the Baptist got his head cut off because he told King Herod that he had his brother’s wife, and he did not say “ex-wife”. If you were ever married to a person then you are still their wife. If you are married to another man then you are committing adultery. If your husband divorced you and you were not unfaithful to him, then he is also guilty of his adultery and your adultery, of being married to another man. God’s design is for one man to be married to one woman and vice versa. Anything beyond this is adultery, unless one of the spouses have died. It does not matter who counsels you otherwise, there is no justification for remarriage of any kind for a divorced person while their spouse is still living, even if they have not seen their original spouse for years and even if the original spouse has remarried.

For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man. Romans 7:2,3

Faithfulness to the Lord and His ways is not easy. It was not easy for Jesus to be faithful to the Father and go to the cross. However, if anyone wants to follow Jesus then it means following Him in what He says. God’s teaching on marriage is sometimes difficult but it is His way. Even His apostles struggled with it but they all ended up getting married except for Paul, and they were faithful to the Lord even to the point of death.

The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” Matthew 19:10

Adultery only happens when someone has sexual relations other than their spouse. If a woman is unfaithful to her husband then she alone is responsible for her adultery. However, if a man divorces his wife and she remarries then she commits adultery and he is also responsible for her adultery because he divorced her. He also is a divorced man and whoever marries a divorced man commits adultery and the divorced man also commits adultery. This is what this verse is referring to, that the husband becomes responsible also for the adultery of his wife if she remarries. If a woman does not have sexual relations with anyone but her husband then she is not an adulteress. A man can not “make” his wife commit adultery unless she remarries. Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery because she is still her original husband’s wife. If a man divorces his wife and marries another woman then he is committing adultery and also bigamy. He now has two wives.

but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:32

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery. Luke 16:18

There are no exceptions. And do not say that it was a mistake to marry the original spouse.

When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry on account of your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

A Life Understanding How to Know the One for You

Understand How to Recognize the Man Who Is for You

“How do I know if someone is the one for me?” is a common question. That question is asked usually before a person meets the one for them because most people “know” when they meet the one for them. Before you meet the “one” for you, you will probably meet many who you will know are not the one for you. You and your future mate will be a good fit for one another. The man will be the initiator and the woman will be the responder. The man must take responsibility for the relationship and be the leader. Every woman longs for a man to be a leader but she must be willing to follow the man who will be the head of their home. If she does not respect the man and is not willing to follow the man then he is not the one for her. A woman must learn to be patient and wait for the man to initiate.

Understand The Importance of Trusting the Lord

The Lord tells us not to lean on our own understanding. We often think that there are certain things that we want in a man but most of what we think is important before marriage is not what matters as much after marriage. How a man treats his wife is the highest after marriage and how good looking he is goes down the list. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Go to Scripture and research what the Lord says about a loving and kind man who would be a good husband. Unless someone has received God’s unconditional love then they will never be able to love someone else with an unconditional love. The greatest need of a wife is to be loved.

I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. Ecclesiastes 3:14

You will know when you meet the man for you because there will be nothing to add to him and nothing to take from him. It will not mean that he is perfect but it will mean that you will not say, “I really like him but…”. If there are any “buts” then whatever it is that makes you hesitant will come back to bother you later. Also, does your father like him and want you to marry him? A father can see aspects of a man that a young woman can not see. Do not marry a man if you have doubts. Wait. It is too big of a decision to go into with doubts.

A Life Understanding that A Man’s Love is a Gift

A man’s love for a woman is a gift.  When a man is asking a woman to marry him then he is offering himself to her to love her and to husband her. The word “husband” is a nurturing and caring term. The husband is to care for, provide for, protect and love his wife for better or for worse in the good days and not so good days. He is giving himself to her for her well being and to do her good all the days of his life. Love is a gift that is given to another. It is the highest and best gift. To love someone is the greatest honor and no one is worthy of the gift of love from another.

Understand that a Woman Must Not Manipulate

A woman longs for the attention and love of a man and often she will be tempted to “take it into her hands” to get what she wants. If she manipulates to get what she wants then she is only cheating herself of a gift of love. She will never know “for sure” if the man she “caught” is the man that the Lord wanted to give her. The Lord wants to give her to the man and when she manipulates then she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought her to her husband. When Adam needed a wife, the Lord brought her to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam. The Lord still wants to give a wife to a man. It is crucial to know for sure that the Lord is the One who brought two people together because there will always be trying days in any marriage and there is great comfort in knowing that what God has joined together that He will keep together if they look to Him.

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9

A wife is a favor that the Lord gives to a man. She is his greatest treasure and when he receives his wife he is receiving a gift from the Lord. The Lord is perfect in all His ways and you will be forever grateful to the Lord if you trust Him to bring you and your mate together. If you manipulate in a relationship, then later on you will be tempted to doubt and may wonder if you did not bring it about, rather than trust the Lord. Manipulation is selfish and deceitful and is not pleasing to the Lord. Manipulation is not living by faith and trusting the Lord. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed. The Lord is good. He wants a wife to be a gift to the man. Let your husband find you.

           He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

A Life Understanding that Love is a Gift

God’s design for mankind is love. His plan for all people is that they are to know and live in God’s love and they are to love one another. Love is a gift to some one else. Love can not be earned through works. If one has to work to get something then it is not a gift. Love is a choice for the giver of love and love is a gift to the receiver of love. The receiver must choose to respond and receive the gift of love. Love can be accepted and it can be rejected. The one who loves must have the gift to be able to give it away. Love is a power for good towards another and there is only One who is the source of all power and all love and that is God. God is love. God created man for man to be loved and to love. God created and chose Adam and Eve to receive His gift of love. Love is relational. Adam and Eve rejected God’s gift of love and rejected their relationship with God. Love has boundaries and when Adam and Eve would not accept God’s boundaries then they no longer were able to live in God’s love for them as He designed. Life and love has boundaries for the good of all. Parents set boundaries for their children, if they love them. When we reject God’s boundaries then we reject His love and what is good for us and we choose grief. Grief brings sorrow, pain, sadness, depression and anger.

The foolishness of man ruins his way, And his heart rages against the Lord. Proverbs 19:3

Understand Life without Love

Only a fool would reject God’s love and yet the Bible says that because of Adam and Eve’s foolish decision to reject God that we all come into the world with a foolish heart. The Bible says that what a fool does is stupid. Every stupid decision that anyone ever makes is because they did not go to the Lord and seek His counsel. They acted on their own and did what they wanted to do. God never causes grief. We only bring it on ourselves. Drugs and therapy can not take away our grief, depression, anger, etc. It is not until we are changed from the inside will we ever be free of the things that cause destruction within us. Only God can change us on the inside. Only God can set us free.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17

All of us have messed up in life. There is not a single person that has done life right except for Jesus Christ. He did life right because He is God and He came to love us, to forgive us, to clean up our messes, to restore us and to live through us. He not only teaches us the right way to live so that we can live in His love and be happy but He actually comes and lives within us through the power of His Holy Spirit. He makes us a new person and the old things pass away. There is only one way to be restored to God’s love and that is through Jesus Christ. Each one of us must receive Jesus Christ into our life to be our Lord and Savior.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

A Life Understanding A Man Needs to Be Wanted

Understanding that a Husband Wants to Be Wanted

When Adam saw Eve he was ecstatic. He wanted her and he wanted her to be his alone. When a man gets married to the girl he loves he thinks, “she is mine”.  A man thinks that when a girl marries him that she wants him. It is devastating to a man to feel rejected. A man wants his wife to desire him and not just love him the way she wants to be loved. A wife longs to “feel” loved and the words “I love you” are important to her and in a similar way, the words “I want you” are what a husband longs to hear. Just as a wife does not just want to “hear” those words, “I love you” but she wants to “see” that love also, in the same way a husband wants to “see” that his wife wants him. He married his wife because he thought that she wanted him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4a

Understand How to Want Your Husband

Understand that what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to withhold the physical intimacy before marriage and a man needs for the woman that he loves to have a high standard morally before marriage. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for so it is good for his girlfriend/fiance to help keep the relationship where it needs to be. However, after marriage it is wrong for the wife to withhold physical intimacy from her husband. If he is sensitive to her then he will be patient when she is not feeling well and he also needs to restrain himself during her time of month. However, his desire is usually very much greater than her desire for the physical and he needs for her to want him and not reject his affections toward her. She will be much happier if she satisfies him when she is more agreeable and this will keep him fulfilled in the area of the physical. Most men are agreeable anytime so this is not hard for the wife to do. The Bible teaches that the older women are to teach the younger women to “love” their husbands. The word love in this verse in the original means that she is to be a “lover of her husband” or in other words, in the original it means that she is to want him and delight in him.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19

Understand that a husband needs physical intimacy and God’s provision for a man is his wife. You married your husband and he believed that you wanted him when you married him. He needs you. There is not another woman in the world that can do what you can do for your husband. It may be sex with another woman but it is meant to be so much more with a man’s wife. It is the cherry on top and icing on the cake, so to speak. It is becoming one with another and it is the fullest expression of love. When you satisfy your husband you will also diminish the temptation of the adulteress woman who has her eye on your husband. There are many women who are looking for the vulnerable man and you don’t want that man to be your husband. Let him have something to look forward to when he comes home and when you are together. You will find that as you fulfill your role as a wife that you will be blessed. When a man is satisfied and fulfilled by the woman he loves there is not anything that he will not do to make her happy. He loves her and her joy becomes his joy.

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5

A Life Understanding Brokenness and Healing

Understanding Brokenness

Broken relationships can cause people to be broken. The Lord never intended that there would ever be divorce, remarriage, unfaithfulness and everything else that causes pain to others and especially to children. When divorce happens it brings grief to the children. The Lord says that He hates divorce because of what it does to the children. However, unless there is healing then the chances are slim that a child of divorce will have a happy marriage. Wounds and hurts happen but there is hope and there can be healing. It is important that as much as possible each person goes into the marriage whole and healthy emotionally. The Lord can and wants to heal but a person with internal hurts must go to the Lord for healing. He understands each person better than anyone else and His name Jehovah-Rapha means “The God who Heals”. You will not hurt forever if you are healed. There will be a scar but you will know when you are healed because when something or someone touches where the wound was then you do not feel the pain, just as if you were to have a wound on your body that has healed. The scar is there but not the pain when the wound has healed. Not only does the Lord heal but He also can break the cycle of sin for the person who turns to Him. The Lord is real and His kindness is a realty to those who look to Him. Not only does He heal and break the cycle but He says that He can restore the “years that the locusts have eaten”. In other words, He can restore what was destroyed. Only God can do this and man can not fix our messes. When man tries to fix messes then he only makes a bigger mess. The Lord makes all things right and He alone teaches us the right way to live and love so that we do not bring on ourselves more pain or give to our children the same sort of grief as we experienced.

“Yield now and be at peace with Him;
Thereby good will come to you.
“Please receive instruction from His mouth
And establish His words in your heart.
“If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored;
If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent,
And place your gold in the dust,
And the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brooks,
Then the Almighty will be your gold
And choice silver to you.
“For then you will delight in the Almighty
And lift up your face to God.
“You will pray to Him, and He will hear you;
And you will pay your vows. Job 22:21-27

Understanding Healing and Restoration

Yahweh El Ashiyb is the name of God that means “The Lord My Restorer”. Healing and restoration comes when we yield ourselves completely to Him. Good will come to us when we receive His instruction and establish His Words in our heart. If we return to Him then we will be restored. Repentance means turning from our sinful ways and whatever our idols were and turning to the Lord. (We often turn to other means for comfort rather than the Lord and whereby they do not help us but they ensnare us…and they can also become idols that we do not want to let go.) He will become more precious to us than anything we desired before because we will see Him and we will experience His mercy and His peace. He will hear our prayers and we will keep our vows. You will know much joy and gladness when you are restored. Sorrow and sadness will leave along with regret and depression.He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3 Everyone needs healing at some time in their lives. When you give your life to the Lord and He becomes your Lord and Savior then you will never walk alone again. He will go with you through your sorrow. He will comfort you in your pain and He will restore you. There is no situation greater than the Lord. Nothing is too difficult for Him. He is able to save and He is able to restore. He loves you. And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 Your past does not have to define you nor does your present pain have to determine your future happiness.

A Life Understanding Great Relationships

Understanding What Characterizes Great Relationships

Your happiness in life is directly proportional to the greatness of your relationships. There are four things that will characterize your life when you are satisfied and in right relationships. These four things are joy, gladness, thanksgiving and you will want to express the happiness in your heart through song. We all have different degrees of intimacy in our relationships which is according to the relationship. However, love and peace are what will characterize all of your relationships when they are right.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,
Thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3b

Understanding the Levels of Great Relationships

Relationships are privileges that are given to us. The first relationship that needs to be in order is a person’s relationship with God. Jesus Christ came to bring love and peace on earth to those who are in a right relationship with God. Relationships go from greater to lesser degrees of intimacy. God knows everything and is intimately acquainted with all of our ways. Nothing is hidden from Him. The next relationship, if you are married, is your relationship with your spouse. Our spouse is the next level and our spouse knows us (or should know us) better than any other human. The greatest level of love and trust should be with a spouse and it is the only relationship where you are one in body, soul and spirit, or at least should be. The next level is family relationships. The next level is friendships. The next level is neighbors and acquaintances. The last level of relationships is enemies.When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7 If you want to have a great marriage and if you do, life is amazingly wonderful with a great marriage. A great marriage is a taste of heaven on earth and truly the most satisfying of all relationships. However, when you get married then you take all of your other relationships into that marriage. You take all of your baggage from past relationships with you. Oftentimes we do not realize all of the baggage that we have from our past relationships until it starts to make itself known in our marriage. The best thing you can do to have a great marriage is to be restored, if possible, and healed from past relationships. Relationships are difficult because they can cause hurts. When we are young we do not choose who most of our relationships are with and have no control over the hurt that happens. However, we may not be able to control what happens to us but we can control our responses. It is not what happens to us but our response to what happens that determines the destruction in our lives. Being hurt from people can bring anger or bitterness. If we are not healed then the anger or bitterness will come out in our relationships with others. Jesus Christ is the Great Healer. If you will go to Him then He can and wants to heal you. Spiritually and emotionally healthy people have healthy relationships. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14,15

A Life that Understands the Cost of a Great Marriage

It is understandable that some people do not like what is being written in these posts. Selfishness is the opposite of love and all people are basically selfish. A great marriage is made up of two unselfish people. Even if only one of the people is unselfish then that will change a marriage from bad to good. It is hard to continually fight against love. Love will always cost the person who loves. That is the nature of anything precious and love is worth much and is costly to the one who gives it but love is worth it. It is true that it is better to give than to receive. Usually whenever any gift is given who has the most joy? The one who gives generally has the most joy. In fact, the Lord says to not give under compulsion because giving is an aspect of love and love is a choice. To give is to be godlike, for God so loved the world that He gave. God so loved you that He gave what was most precious to Him and that was His only begotten Son.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

Understand What a Great Marriage will Cost the Wife

A great marriage is a gift and it is also requires great sacrifice. A great marriage is made up of two people who sacrifice their own wants, dreams, needs, longings and comforts for another. It is best to give all of these to the Lord and allow Him to give back to you in His time what you really need. We usually do not know what we really need. How many things have we all longed for, that in hindsight, we see that they would not have been good for us. Trust the Lord to give you what is good. He will withhold the bad and give you the good if you leave the giving to Him. A great marriage is costly but just as when Mary took a pound of very costly perfume and anointed the feet of Jesus, the fragrance of her love filled the house. In a similar way, when you love another in a sacrificial, costly manner then the fragrance of the expression of your love will fill the environment where you are. Your love will be a sweet fragrance to the one loved and to all who are around and you will be the one blessed the most.Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3 Understand that when you do what is right and love your husband with a godlike love that you will be filled with great joy. Your life will be a fragrant aroma to all who come in contact with you and your joy will spill over into your husband, your children and everyone else who knows you. No one can ever rob you of joy because much joy comes from loving and doing what is right. “You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

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