A Life with Love is not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life with Love Has Great Joy

Love brings great joy to the one who loves and to the one who is loved. Joy is different than happiness. Happiness comes from what is happening but joy comes from something else. Joy comes from being in the presence of God.

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

When Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden of Eden and knew His presence then they had fullness of joy. Fullness of joy meant that they were filled with joy. They walked the path of life with God and were filled with His joy. Not only did they know much joy, but they experienced His pleasures. They knew life, joy and pleasure. Everything that they had was given to them. When they sinned then they traded life for death, joy for despair and His pleasures for the counterfeit pleasure of the world, which is an illusion and leaves one feeling even more empty once the feeling of pleasure leaves.

for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10b

The joy of the Lord brings strength. Death, despair and emptiness drain a person of the strength that God designed for them. Without joy then relationships become a drudgery and a burden. Not only does the joy of the Lord lighten the load of everyday life and but His joy keeps the love in relationships. When we turn to the Lord and take refuge in Him then we can know His joy.

But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You. Psalm 5:11

Joy comes from His salvation. You know when someone has come into a personal relationship with the Lord because that person wants to sing for joy.

Sing for joy in the Lord, O you righteous ones; Praise is becoming to the upright. Psalm 33:1

They have experienced God’s love and presence and they can’t hid their joy. They want to share that joy with others.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners will be converted to You. Psalm 52:12,13

When God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to restore man to his relationship with God then He also restored the joy of the Lord within man by giving His Holy Spirit to the one who has come to trust Him. Joy characterizes the child of God because he has once again come into God’s presence through Christ. Joy also characterizes the couple who have built their marriage according to God’s design.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Galatians 5:22

The joy of the Lord goes in both directions. Adam and Eve brought the Lord great joy when they walked with Him and enjoyed that sweet fellowship. He loved them and He delighted in their communication and in His relationship.

But the prayer of the upright is His delight. Proverbs 15:8b

We, too, can still bring the Lord great delight when we walk with Him and pray to Him. We know His joy as we come into His presence. His joy is like a fragrant aroma in our relationships and also as we go through the day. When we walk with Him then we hate sin and anything that grieves His Spirit because we love Him know that the joy of being with Him is like no other joy and there is nothing to compare with Him.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1,2

We also realize that sin destroys the joy in our marriage and relationships. Before Adam and Eve had sinned they had that sweet communion with the Lord and with each other because they obeyed Him and knew Him. If you are married then you will see that as you and your spouse each seek to please the Lord then your hearts will become knit together and your love will deepen for the Lord and for each other. You will not want to do anything to quench the Spirit for it will quench the love and joy that the Lord gives to those who live in His presence. As a married couple learns to live together in His presence then their love relationship with the Lord and each other will be a sweet aroma to everyone around them and the rest of the world.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; II Corinthians 2:14,15

A Life with Love Gives Freely

When the Lord created Adam, the Lord told Adam that he could eat freely of any tree in the garden.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; Genesis 2:16

Love gives freely. A gift is something that is not worked for and there is nothing that you can do to earn it, but you must receive it. The Lord offered His love and provision to Adam. Adam lacked nothing when he lived in the garden that the Lord had created. The Lord offers His love to all the descendants of Adam and Eve. He again gives us the freedom to choose Him, for that is love, and He paid the price to give His love and He freely gives His gift of love to anyone who will ask Him. For God so loved He gave.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:4-9

God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us gave. He gave His best and His only begotten beloved Son so that we might be able to know Him and walk with Him in a loving relationship. The cross is the greatest expression of love. Salvation is a free gift for any who come to the Lord in faith and that gift of salvation comes through the price that someone else paid.

Freely you received, freely give. Matthew 10:8b

If we only understood the Lord’s love for us then we would realize how much He delights in giving to us. He not only gave up His only Son, but He says that He will freely give us all things. Wow!

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

When we have the Spirit of the Lord living within us then we will know the things freely given to us by God.

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God,

I Corinthians 2:12

In love, God destined us to be His children. It was His plan all along and when Adam and Eve sinned then love found a way to restore us to Him. When you love someone then you want the relationship to be restored. You are not thinking how you want justice fulfilled, no, you are thinking of how can we be reconciled again. God sent His only begotten Son to die for the world because He loved the world. God was willing to take the punishment that we deserve so that we could be restored to Him. He fulfilled and satisfied the need for justice but it was because He loved us. Justice was fulfilled when Adam and Eve died but for them to live again and be restored to God, the Lord had to take their death so that they would never have to die again. He gave to man His righteousness and took man’s unrighteousness. Man owed a debt he could not pay and so God paid a debt that He did not owe. The debt was paid on the cross.

In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. Ephesians 1:4b-8a

The Lord has freely bestowed on us His grace, which is in Christ Jesus. The Lord has given freely to us and He wants us to give freely to others in need. We were the needy that Jesus came to love and He has also put the needy amongst us so that we will freely give to them as He has given to us. Jesus wants us to love others as He has loved us. He came to earth to love, not to judge.

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:17

The Lord wants our faith to be a living faith. He wants us to live it out as He lived His faith out when He walked among men and women over two thousand years ago.

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. James 2:15-17

The Lord wants us to live out the love that He has put in our hearts when we came to know Him. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. I John 3:16-18

Freely you received, freely give.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need to Respect a Woman

Men long for respect and they need respect. Men also need to respect a woman and women need for men to respect them. A man needs a woman but he especially needs a woman that he respects. A woman that a man respects will lift him up to a higher standard of behavior. A man generally will not curse around a lady nor will he act in other crude manners. Her respectful behavior is enough to change him as he observes it and her lack of response to any crude jokes or comments is enough to shame him. A man can be a man with other men and not offend them but a man needs to learn how to act in a loving, respectful manner with females.Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1The word “good” in this verse means, in the original language, the highest form of love.

Understanding A Woman’s Need for Respect

A woman needs respect. A woman’s self worth is affected by how she is treated. If she is treated poorly then she will start to feel poorly about herself. She longs for love and needs love but she also needs respect. Love and respect go hand in hand. If a woman is treated like a queen then she will feel like a queen. If she feels like a queen then she will want to marry a king and feel that she is worthy of a king. If she feels like dirt then she will feel that no king would want to marry her and she will “settle” for far less. A woman’s self worth is one of the most important aspects of who she is. When a man uses a woman in any way then he is neither loving her or respecting her. When a female allows herself to be used then she is bringing destruction to herself. When a man uses a woman then it is like squeezing the juice out of an orange and then discarding the orange. The woman is no longer the same. She is no longer vibrant and feeling healthy about herself because she has been used and rejected. She will often settle for someone “not as nice” as the first man and if she is looking for love in the wrong way then he will squeeze more juice out of her and then discard her. The pattern continues until she is left feeling empty and rejected by men.

but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13b

Salt becomes tasteless when it has been compromised. A woman will be rejected and walked over by men if she compromises her morals and allows a man to touch her in inappropriate places or have premariatal sex. A man does not love a woman that he has sex with before marriage. He is using her for his own selfish desire. Nearly all men who are unfaithful to their wives after marriage had sex before marriage. They did not learn to control their passions before marriage and usually can not control them afterwards. Sex is a physical appetite to a man and he must learn to control his sexual drive. He learns to control himself by first learning to control what he looks at. His eyes get him into trouble and the Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied”. It is important that a female dress in a modest manner that does not direct the man’s eyes to sexually stimulating parts of her body. If she does, she will get attention but not the love and respect she longs for and the attention is only for a moment. If he is stimulated then he will want to touch her in an inappropriate manner and she must say “no” so that he does not get what he wants. It is much better if the boundaries are already established by how she dresses.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

A Life Understanding Man’s Need for Responses

One of the ways that a man will recognize the woman that God has chosen for him is that she will respond to his heart. The Bible says that it was not good for the man to be alone and that God made the man a helpmate who will correspond to him. Cor means heart and so correspond means that she responds to his heart. She learns all about the man and seeks to understand his heart, his needs, his dreams and his desires. She has an innate understanding of the man that God has for her. After they get married she continues to seek to know him and will seek to do what her husband would want her to do for him. This is one of the reasons that happily married couples who have been married for a long time understand what the other is thinking. They have become of one heart and one mind and it happens through seeking to understand each other. The husband is told by the Lord to live with his wife in an understanding manner and the wife learns to understand her husband and respond to his heart. A man learns to live with his wife through her responses to him. If she likes something, such as flowers or candy or gifts then her response teaches him how to please his wife. If he does something that is inappropriate or crude then she does not respond to it and he will quickly learn not to do it if he loves her. In a loving marriage each one seeks to please the other and the husband learns mostly through her responses.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding a Woman’s Need to Respond

A wife communicates her love to her husband through responding to him. Responding to your man is probably one of the most powerful things that a woman can do. A man needs to be wanted by his wife and he feels loved and wanted when she responds to him. She needs to respond outwardly through her excitement at seeing him when he has been away or they have been apart for the day. Most husbands need their wife’s affections through touching and not necessarily in a sexual manner. A man loves to be touched by the woman he loves and it is an affirmation of her love. A  man generally will never get tired of kissing his wife and the more kisses that you give him in response to him then he will love it all the more. The man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. Sometimes a female needs to learn to respond and especially if she has been hurt in the past. The Lord will help you if you ask him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4

Understand that God made the man to be the initiator and the woman to be the responder. A man often does not know what the woman is thinking so he tries to understand what she likes and does not like through her responses so that he will know if he should continue to initiate in that direction and in that manner. Before marriage some females feel that they should be “cool” when a young man asks her out or initiates toward toward her but if she is interested in him then she needs to show a response that lets him know. She only needs to respond to what he initiates. If she does not care to be in a relationship then she can say no and that is okay.

The VERY WORSE THING that a wife can do is close off her spirit to her husband and pretend that everything is okay by going through the motions of doing her “duties” as a wife. She is not fooling anyone but herself and she is confusing the man. She is sending a double signal and it comes across very insincere because it is fake. Be honest, if you have been hurt, let him know in a way that is not judgmental or accusatory. Most men honestly do not know or understand females. He needs you but he needs you to help him understand your needs and you need him to understand you.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We all need forgiveness. We need God to forgive us and we need to forgive each other. Marriage is challenging in the sense that it involves two people learning to live in harmony with one another, which means that we have to be kind to each other, tender-hearted with one another and forgiving each other. We can only do this if we have received and experienced God’s great love and forgiveness of our many sins.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need for a Wife

When God created man and the rest of creation it was good. There was not anything to add to it or anything to take from it. The Bible says that God works in such  a way so than man would fear (which means a very awe inspiring respect) Him and honor Him. Man was made perfect and all of creation was made perfect so that it was a delight to the Lord. However, the Lord said that it was not good for the man to be alone. It was not good then and it is not good now. A man needs a wife. He needs her support, her companionship, her love and respect and when he has a good wife then he becomes an even better man than he would be alone. Her encouragement, her response to him, her smiles, her affections, her happiness in being his wife inspires him to even greater heights than what he would do alone. An excellent wife is his crown and makes him a king who can conquer much and achieve much when there is peace and harmony in his kingdom.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Understanding What a Man Needs in a Wife

A man needs a wife. If a woman learns to become an excellent wife then she will be greatly exalted for the first thing that anyone notices about a king is his crown. A king’s crown is his glory. A man does not need someone who will shame him. The Bible says that a man will encounter the “reproofs of life” and those reproofs of life are very effective in correcting a man. A man needs his wife’s support, love, intimacy, friendship, companionship and trust. You will be more precious than jewels to him when you become the wife that God wants you to be.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10

Do not be a man’s conscience. A man fights with his conscience and if you want fighting in your marriage and home then that is a sure way to get it.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Work

Understanding Men and His Work

Man was made from the dust, or in other words, man was made from the earth and he relates to the earth. Men do not mind getting dirty when they work because it is a part of work. One of the first things that the Lord gave man to do was to work. He gave him a job to do and that was to cultivate the earth and to name the animals. Men need to work in the world. Men receive their identity and self respect from their work. One of the first things that a man is asked is. “what do you do?”. When a man can take healthy pride in his work that he has done his best then he feels good about himself. A man is at home in the world and he feels at home when he is outside in nature. A man appreciates what he works for. A good man wants to work for what he gets and he does not want handouts. A man respects another man’s work and understands that he needs to be paid for his services. A man needs to be respected in his work and the Lord gave man a job to do in naming the animals and the Lord respected Adam’s work. Whatever name Adam gave to an animal, then that became the animal’s name and the Lord accepted it.

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. Genesis 2:19

Understanding Women and Her Work

Woman was made from a person and she relates to people. She was not given a job in the world to do like Adam was given. Her job was to be Adam’s helper or support. The word “support” literally has the meaning of being something like cement. She is to be such a support to Adam that he knows that she will be faithful and immovable in her support of him. He needs for her to become all that God designed her to be so that he can become all that God designed him to be. A woman gets her identity and love from people. Often as a child, a girl will play with dolls and pretend to be a “mommy” and she will imagine what it will be like when she has her “own” family and home. As she matures she will be sometimes be asked. “do you have a boyfriend?” and when she is older the first question that she is often asked is, “are you married?” or “do you have children?”. Later on in life, she will be asked, “do you have grandchildren?”. She sees herself as who she is in relationship to people and will say that she is a mother or grandmother. If she works outside of the home she will usually go into a people oriented field, such as doctor, nurse, teacher, etc. A woman also can make an excellent business woman but for different reasons than a man. However, a mother who works outside of her home is often torn between her job and her family. When her children are conceived, they are a part of her. She begins to be intimately acquainted with her children even when they are in her womb. When a working mother comes home she will work some more because God made her world to be her home and her home is a major part of her world. No one can take care of her home and children like she can and the Lord made her that way. Just as a man takes pride in his job, so a woman takes pride in her home and her family. She cares about the way her home looks and how her children are fed and dressed. God made her to nurture and to make a home for her family. She does not like dirt and some women will clean and clean their home. A man has to learn these things. It is not natural for him, but if he loves his wife and children then he will seek to learn what is important to his wife in the home and with the children.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

Understand that men and women are different. They were each made unique and they are wired differently. One is not better than the other but they are very different. Their longings, desires and needs are different. The more you understand the needs of a young man then the more you will be blessed and the less you will be hurt. You will be far more satisfied when you learn to appreciate the differences and not try to make men like women nor women like men. A man is happiest when he is fulfilling his calling as a man and a woman is happiest when she is fulfilling her calling as a woman.

A Life Understanding Boys and Men

Do Receive Understanding

As with anything, if you want to understand a subject matter then the best way to understand it is to go to the one who created the subject. The one who created anything can give you the greatest understanding, not only “about” the subject but the understanding of the “manner” of the subject.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

If a girl wants to understand boys or if women want to understand men then they must go to the One who created man in the beginning. Not only will He give them understanding but He will give them instruction (which is wisdom) on what to do and what not to do so that they may not get hurt. Many girls and women have been hurt by boys and men simply because they did not understand boys and men.

Do Not Trust Your Own Understanding

Do not trust your own understanding of males of what you think they are like. A female will look at a male through their own perspective and try to “figure” him out. A male is made completely different than a female.  He thinks completely different than a female, he acts completely different and he does not have feelings the way a female does. Neither a male or female is right or wrong but they are different and will have different perspectives, thoughts, actions and reactions to the same situations. Do not trust in what you think you should do or in what your friends think you should do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Do trust in the Lord with all of your heart and go to the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and understanding. He wants to help you.

A Life with Love Is Not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life with Love Involves the Will

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Man is made up of spirit, soul and body. The decisions that we make in life are expressed through our body but made through our soul. Every decision that we make involves our soul and affects our soul. Love is an expression of the soul. We choose to love with our mind and our will and it affects our emotions. We choose to hate with our mind and our will and it also affects our emotions. We choose to believe with our mind and our will and it affects our destiny. Loving and believing are a choice of the mind and will. When we respond to God’s love and believe in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then our spirit becomes alive. It is in our spirit that we worship and communicate with God. It is with our soul that we communicate with each other. It is with our spirit, soul and body that we love God and love another.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23

When we love God and love another as God has called us to do then our spirit, soul and body are preserved. When we sin against God and each other then we bring destruction to ourselves. Our spirit is made complete in Christ at the time of our conversion, if we are a Christian. Our soul is being made complete through our obedience to the Lord. Our soul experiences life when we do what is right. Our soul experiences death when we do what is wrong. The death to our soul is the sick feeling we have when the guilt comes and all the other feelings of regret. Guilt brings torment to the soul.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

God’s Word can be implanted in our soul and saves our soul. God’s Word gives life to our soul. Just as someone who receives a heart transplant because his heart is not functioning right, so we need to receive God’s Word implanted because our thoughts are not right. We have been corrupted in our mind, will and emotions. When we receive God’s Word into our soul then it transforms our mind, will and emotions so that we will know what is right. Our mind will tell us the right thing to do and our will carries it out. The happiness we experience in our emotions is because we did what was right.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Sin is lawlessness and when we sin then we experience death to the soul.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. I John 3:4

Everyone does just what he wants to do. If a man loves a woman then he will show love to her. Many women try to make excuses for a man when he does not call, come see her, etc. but it is because he does not want to. There are always exceptions when something urgent does come up, but love will always want to make up what was missed. In the same way, many people try to make excuses for themselves about why they do not believe in God and/or do what He wants them to do, but the bottom line is that they do not want to believe in God. They do not want to do what He says. Belief and love are a matter of the will. A person does just what they want to do.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. I John 4:21

The Lord would not have commanded us to do something that we could not do. Every marriage that fails is because someone gave up in their mind and will to love their spouse. Everyone messes up. Love is covering another’s mess. Shame is making it known. We cover up messes with our will and we make messes known with our will. Love is not always easy but it is worth it. When you are committed to loving another then it is only a matter of time before you will make a mess and you will be thankful that the other chose to love you.

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When you are single and live alone then there are not many messes but there is no love. When a married couple have no children then their home is clean. However, there is great joy being in a loving marriage and there also is great fulfillment in having children. Many messes come in relationships but much happiness comes when life is done right.