A Life with Love Must Be Established

For love to last in any relationship then it must be established on the foundation of God’s Word and the knowledge of Him.

By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
Proverbs 24:3

Relationships and especially marriages must be built, they do not just happen. They are like a house and must have a solid foundation, which is the Lord and His Word, and they must be built according to God’s blueprint. Wisdom comes from fearing the Lord and keeping His Word. As you do this then you will learn His ways, which is His wisdom and you will grow in understanding.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

Wisdom is knowing how to apply the knowledge that you need in any given situation. The knowledge that you need comes from the Lord and He gives those who fear Him the wisdom of what to do on how to achieve a desired result, such as, a strong marriage or strong friendship. As you learn to walk in His ways and live according to His wisdom then you will gain understanding as you grow in the knowledge of the Lord. The more you know Him then the more you will want to know Him. The same is true with God’s wisdom. The more you live according to His wisdom the more you will want His wisdom and everything in your life to be according to His ways.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17

God’s wisdom is pure and peaceable. It is gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits. God’s wisdom is also unwavering and without hypocrisy and this is what will characterize your life, your marriage and your relationships when you build them on God’s Word. You will find love, your life will be filled with love and you will keep love. As time goes on it will get even better because love grows and deepens with time.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

We all need wisdom and this promise that the Lord gives is one of His amazing promises and is a picture of His grace. He says that He will give wisdom to anyone who will ask Him and He will give it generously. He also says that He will not reproach you, which means that He will not reproach you for your lack of wisdom but rather He has been wanting you to ask Him for wisdom so that He can give it to you. Do you need wisdom in your relationships? Ask Him and He will give it to you. It is much better to have wisdom and to do it right from the beginning rather than wait for things to go wrong and then need wisdom. However, either way, He will give you His wisdom to build your marriage right and He will give you wisdom to correct the problems when things go wrong if you will ask Him.

And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:4

You will find that as you build your life, relationships and marriage on God’s wisdom and it is established on understanding then the days will be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Your cup will overflow with much blessing and great joy. Your life and your marriage will be a blessing to many.

A Life with Times of Refreshing

Just as our bodies can become weary so our souls can become weary also. Sometimes our bodies can be in a dry and weary place where there is not much water or rest. Just as cold water and rest can refresh the body so also God’s presence can bring times of refreshing to the spirit and soul.

Acts 3:19 Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord;

We may need to repent if we have never come to Jesus Christ to forgive us our sin and to give us eternal life. Repentance is turning away from sin and turning to the Lord. We are either going toward God or we are going toward sin. God desires that all come to repentance and that none perish.

II Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

We need to repent if we have gotten away from having Jesus Christ be our “first love” and the lover of our soul and the giver of life. It is easy to become busy with life and fill our lives with “good things” and forget that the Christian life is a love relationship with Jesus Christ. Or, we may just have gotten our eyes off of Jesus Christ and have been trying to live the Christian life on our own and allowed it to become a life of “do this and don’t do that”.

Revelation 2:4,5 But I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place—unless you repent.

We may need to repent if we are a Christian and have become ensnared with a particular sin and are experiencing death to our soul, which is the defeat and guilt that we feel when we know that we are not living in a way pleasing to Him. Sin can cause weariness. Whatever it is that is causing our weariness, it is not design.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Come to the Lord Jesus if you are weary and heavy laden. He will give you rest. Repent, if you have gotten away from Him and have left your first love. Do the things you did at first when you first became a Christian. Remember how you marveled at how great a love that He has for you. Remember how His grace was poured out on your life and you experienced His forgiveness and cleansing? Repent and return to Him in order that times of refreshing may come from His presence. In His presence there is fullness of joy and in His right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance in order that He might bless us.

Romans 2:4 Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

 

A Life with Love as Life

As long as Adam kept the commandment of God then he would live and he would be able to experience love and give love. The moment that he would disobey God then he would die.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

When Adam disobeyed God and experienced death then he began to abide in death rather than to abide in life. When death abides then love also dies.

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. I John 3:14

God is life and in Him is no death. He who has God has life and he who does not have God abides in death.

And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. I John 5:11,12

Apart from God we only exist and abide in death. God made us to be in a love relationship with Himself but He gave us the freedom to choose. We could choose to be in that relationship with Him and abide in life and His love or we could go our own way and abide in death. Love is a choice, a commitment, a gift and is life. When we choose God and commit our lives to Him then we receive the gift of love and life and we are able to give love and share life with someone else. When we choose to disobey God and go our own way then we abide in death and we are not able to experience life or God’s love. We exist in a lonely world with little meaning other than getting through to the next day. We may think we love but it is only a shadow of the real thing. Often it is a “I love you because…”. It may be duty or survival or even a mutual friendship love with someone else but once the duty or benefit to self is over then the love fades.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. I John 4:7

The conditional love that is in the world can not compare to the unconditional love that the Lord shows and gives to those who know Him. The source of God’s love is God Himself and when He comes to live within someone then He fills them with His love and it is His love that He gives to them to give to others. This is the kind of love that makes a marriage sweet and strong. Not only does this kind of love make a marriage strong but it is the only kind of love that can make a friendship or familial relationship sweet and strong. He who has this kind of love truly lives and is able to give love to others.

A Life Whose Debt is Canceled

We owe a debt we can not pay and there is One who paid a debt He did not owe. We were helpless and at the right time, our debt was paid and our certificate of death was canceled.

Romans 5:6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.

When Jesus Christ came and became the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world, He became our substitute and took the punishment that we deserved and paid the debt that we owed. Death was what we had earned by going our own way and doing our own thing. We wanted to rule our own lives rather than have the One who made us and created us to be in relationship with Him, to rule us. Sin is wanting to be your own god and the outcome is death spiritually, death to our soul and the death of our body.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Wages is what we deserve but a gift is what we do not deserve and have not done anything to work for it. We earned and deserved death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. When He becomes our Lord then we receive the gift of eternal life and with the gift of life comes the cancellation of the certificate of death.

Isaiah 28:16-18a Therefore thus says the Lord God,

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone, a tested stone,
A costly cornerstone for the foundation, firmly placed.
He who believes will not be disturbed.
“I will make justice the measuring line
And righteousness the level;
Then hail will sweep away the refuge of lies
And the waters will overflow the secret place.
 “Your covenant with death will be canceled,

When we become a Christian then our eyes are opened to the lies that we took comfort in and the secret places of our heart where our sins dwell. Jesus is the foundation and that Cornerstone God sent on which He will build His church. Those who believe in Him will not be disappointed but those who do not believe and are disobedient to His Word will stumble over the rock of Christ and experience doom.

I Peter 2:6-8 For this is contained in Scripture:

Behold, I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious cornerstone,
And he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.”

This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve,

The stone which the builders rejected,
This became the very cornerstone,”and,

“A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense”;

for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed.

Those who believe in Him, not only do they receive life and their certificate of death is canceled but the accusations and certificate consisting of decrees against them is canceled. He nailed it to the cross. The certificate of decrees against you are all of the sins that you have ever committed or will ever commit. Everything that you have ever done wrong is recorded and that record was nailed to the cross. (Those who do not believe in Jesus Christ, the record of all of their sins will be read on Judgment Day and they will have to pay their own debt for their sins.)

Colossians 2:13,14 When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

When you were dead in your sins, Christ died for you, and made you alive together with Him. He has forgiven you of all of your wrongdoings. Because Jesus Christ was raised from the dead and lives, you also became alive and will be raised from the dead and will live forever with Him IF you have received Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior and the gift of eternal life in Him. The gift is offered to all but only given to those who will receive it. For God so loved everyone in the world that He gave His Son.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

You must call on the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior to receive Christ into your life and be saved. When He saves you then He also forgives you and gives you the gift of eternal life.

Romans 10:11-13 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

He who has Jesus Christ, the Son of God, has the life. He who does not have Christ does not have the life. These things have been written for you who believe in Jesus Christ in order that you may know that you have eternal life. Your debt of sin and certificate of death is canceled forever.

I John 5:12,13 He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.

 

 

 

A Life with Love Has a Foundation

Love must have a foundation to stand strong against the storms that will assail against it. A loving relationship is like a house and it must be built upon the right foundation. The foundation must be immovable and unchangeable because people, relationships and circumstances change. If a marriage or friendship has the right foundation then it will grow stronger over time and become sweeter to those who abide in the relationship where love is strong.

For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:11

There is only one foundation that is true and sure and will stand the test of time and will not be moved. Jesus Christ is the only right foundation for every relationship that will endure through the storms of sickness and health, weakness and strength, prosperity and failure, and all the other trials that we pass through here on earth.

According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it. I Corinthians 3:10

If you know Jesus Christ and have been born again then according to God’s grace the right foundation has been laid in your life. If you and your spouse are Christians then the right foundation has been laid in your life. However, you must be careful how you build upon it. Jesus Christ is the Word made flesh and His Word is the instruction of how to build upon the foundation.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

God’s Word is full of grace and truth and it is the blueprint for every strong relationship and for every strong marriage. You must use God’s Word, which is His instruction for building your relationships, your marriage and family.

Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49

Jesus Christ and His Word is the Rock on which to build a life, a marriage, a family, a friendship, a business relationship or any other relationship that we are in. If we call Him Lord then we must do what He says but we will also experience what He says and our relationships will be strong and stand firm when the storms blow and the floods come. The storms may come in the form of doubts or false accusations or lies or absence or sickness or losses. However, the relationship built on Jesus Christ will stand and not only that but just as a house is a refuge from the storm these relationships will also be a refuge and bring us comfort and love when we need it the most.

A Life of An Encourager

We all need hope and encouragement brings hope and the courage to press on. Discouragement means that we have lost our courage. There are times in a person’s life when they want to quit. If you are an encourager you will never lack friends or a ministry. The Christian and the nonChristian will always need encouragement.

I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another,  just as you also are doing.

The Lord is the One who gives encouragement so that we might persevere and not give up. He wants us to be of the same mind with one another, that is, to have the mind of Christ.

Romans 15:5 Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus,

Today, when you have the opportunity, encourage someone. You may not get the chance tomorrow. Sin deceives and we need one another to keep from being deceived and falling. Encouragement to someone who is downcast is like giving a cup of cold water to one who is thirsty. Their soul is quenched and encouragement refreshes their soul.

Hebrews 3:13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Daniel was an encouragement to the one he worked for and was a blessing to him.

Daniel 11:1 In the first year of Darius the Mede, I arose to be an encouragement and a protection for him.

Barnabas was an encouragement to the Christians.

Acts 4:36 Now Joseph, a Levite of Cyprian birth, who was also called Barnabas by the apostles (which translated means Son of Encouragement),

Acts 11:22-24 The news about them reached the ears of the church at Jerusalem, and they sent Barnabas off to Antioch. Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And considerable numbers were brought to the Lord.

Jonathan encouraged his best friend, David. Encourage your friends so that they might thrive.

I Samuel 23:16 And Jonathan, Saul’s son, arose and went to David at Horesh, and encouraged him in God.

Encourage the exhausted. Those who are in the battle for the Lord get weary and exhausted. They need you. New mothers need encouragement and young wives need it also. We all need encouragement.

Isaiah 35:3 Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

Encourage your leaders who lead you spiritually that they may be strengthened  in the Lord.

Deuteronomy 1:38 Joshua the son of Nun, who stands before you, he shall enter there; encourage him, for he will cause Israel to inherit it.

The Scripture was given to us to encourage us and give us hope. Read the Old Testament as well as the New Testament.

Romans 15:4 For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

When we take refuge in the Lord then we come away with encouragement.

Hebrews 6:18 so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us.

The Lord gives us encouragement so that we also might give encouragement to others. When you look to Jesus then He will show you those around you who need encouragement. The world is filled with hungry and thirsty souls who need the encouragement and refreshment that you can give them.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.

If the Lord calls you to be married then your husband will desperately need your encouragement and so will your children. Learn now how to encourage others as a way of life. Learn from others who are an example to you in this area. As you learn to encourage your friends, family and leaders then all of you will be built up together in the Lord.

 

A Life with Love as A Commitment

Just as love is a choice and not a feeling, love is also a commitment to another person. Love chooses to commit oneself to another person. There are different levels of commitment for the different levels of love. The most intimate level of love is the marriage of a husband and wife. Marriage between a man and a woman is the only relationship where there is a oneness of spirit, soul and body.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22,23

The Lord is the One who gave Eve to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam so that they might be joined to the Lord in fellowship and relationship and be joined to each other in marriage. She was to be his companion, helpmate and lover. For the man to be joined to his wife the way that God designed he needs to leave his father and mother.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

A man’s loyalty can not be divided between his parents and his wife. His loyalty must be to his wife. He is still to honor his parents but he now “belongs” to his wife, which means that he is to “be longing to be with his wife”. He is not to allow his heart to be separated between his parents and his wife. He is to be completely committed to his wife…spiritually, emotionally and physically. He is not only to leave his parents physically but also emotionally.

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1

A husband is to love his wife as he loves himself. He is to nourish her and cherish her. He is to love her as his own body and he is to love her in an unconditional way. He will find that as he does this that she will trust and respect him. She will respond to him and will want him.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

Ephesians 5:28,29a

In God’s design the husband and wife experienced the most loving and sweetest relationship between humans. They were naked and not ashamed. Everyone longs to be accepted for exactly who they are without any pretenses. This is a gift that the Lord gives to a couple in a God centered marriage done God’s way.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Adam and Eve were able to experience this most intimate relationship with each other because they had an intimate relationship with the Lord. It is not until one is totally honest and “naked” before the Lord can they be totally honest with their spouse. When people have experienced the unconditional love of God then they are able to give that unconditional love to another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Unconditional love accepts and loves the other person just the way they are even with their faults, flaws and failures. God demonstrated His love towards us when we did not love Him, while we were still His enemies, by sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins and to take the punishment that we deserved.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God loves us perfectly and when a married couple experiences that perfect love then it casts out all fear and they are able to love each other the way they need to be loved. They can be naked and not ashamed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear

I John 4:18

A Life with Love that Is Patient

The Lord called Adam into a trustful and loving relationship and He wanted Adam to trust Him to meet his needs and to provide for Adam in His time. The Lord said that He would provide a helper suitable for Adam but it was not yet His timing. The Lord had something else for Adam to do before He brought along the one whom He had created for Adam.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:18-20

There are three M’s in a man’s life and they need to be in a certain order. A young man must first choose who his Master will be. He must decide if the Lord God will be his Master and if he will follow and obey Him. After choosing his Master then a young man needs to find his mission in life. The Lord promises that those who choose Him will hear His voice so that they can follow Him. He will lead the young man into the calling or mission that He has designed the young man to fulfill. Then the Lord will bring into his life a mate who will be that “helper suitable” for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21,22

It is best for the man to “be asleep” and allow the Lord to bring him a wife rather than for the man to go looking for a wife. The Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied” and if he allows his eyes to choose the “one” for him then she may not be the one that God has chosen and he will not be satisfied with her as time goes on.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

If a young man allows the Lord to choose the wife for him then he will not be disappointed. He will be exhilarated with her love.

Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19b

Adam was thrilled with Eve and expressed his excitement when Eve was given to him. In the original language, the way Adam expressed was “WOW”!!

The man said,“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called the single men to be the initiators in relationships with single women. Women are called to be responders. If she is interested in the young man and he is suitable for her then she learns to respond to him. The young lady is not the initiator. For this way of life to be for a young lady she must put her trust in the Lord. If she will learn to live in His presence and put her trust in Him then she will thrive in life. If she trusts in herself then she will be constantly frustrated and defeated.

Psalm 52:8 But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.

The Lord is the One who directs the hearts of all men.

Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.

If she does not trust the Lord then she will be tempted to initiate or manipulate concerning young men. Either of these options are not God’s way. If she initiates or manipulates and she gets what she wants then she will never know if it is what the Lord wanted for her. When the trials come in the relationship then she will be tempted to doubt and in her time of need she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought about the relationship.

Proverbs 7:7-15 And I saw among the naive,
And discerned among the youths
A young man lacking sense,
Passing through the street near her corner;
And he takes the way to her house,
In the twilight, in the evening,
In the middle of the night and in the darkness.
And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home;
She is now in the streets, now in the squares,
And lurks by every corner.
So she seizes him and kisses him
And with a brazen face she says to him:
“I was due to offer peace offerings;
Today I have paid my vows.
“Therefore I have come out to meet you,
To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you.

The immoral woman is an initiator and manipulator. Often she also will have a pretense of religion, of being a good girl. However, the Bible says that her way is death.

Proverbs 2:16-19 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.

It is when we are struggling and doubting that we are tempted to take things into our hands and “make it happen”. The attitude that nobody else is looking after you so you need to look after yourself is against God’s ways. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Old Testament came up with an idea to get a baby, rather than wait upon the Lord. It brought her much grief.

Genesis 16:3,4 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight.

In the same way, you will bring yourself grief also, if you take matters into your own hands. You may get what you “want” but will not want it in the end nor will it bring you any joy.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

When a young lady responds to a young man then it makes him feel like a king. If you make a man feel like a king then he will want you to be his queen. It is well worth it to wait for God’s man and for God’s timing. If a man sees a young lady as a queen he will treat her as such.

Psalm 52:9 I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it,
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.

In the end, if a young lady will trust in the Lord then she will give thanks to Him because she will know that He is the One who did it.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.