Friends – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Friendships

A true friend is rare and is like “icing on the cake” in life. A friend is one of the sweetest gifts that the Lord gives here on earth. If you have one true friend then you are blessed and if you are a true friend to someone else then you are a blessing.

Proverbs 17:17a A friend loves at all times,

A friend is a gift and a trust that the Lord gives to people. Friends are not to be used and expectations will destroy friendships. The trust that someone else gives to you is to be guarded. They are entrusting to you their heart and soul. Prize it and you will keep it. Take it for granted and you will lose it.

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

Be careful who your friends are because they need to be trustworthy. Just as you need to learn to love them and overlook their sins so they need to overlook your transgressions. Both need to seek God’s love which is pure.

Proverbs 11:13 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Be the friend that you want others to be to you. A true friend loves at all times and is trustworthy. A true friend will tell you the truth. A true friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than your relationship with them.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

A true friend will love with a sacrificial love and you will learn as much from them as they will from you. The greatest way to have a true friend is to be a true friend. True friendship is a oneness of the soul and spirit. For this reason, a Christian can only have a true friendship with another Christian. Their friendship must be built upon the Lord Jesus Christ as He showed us what a true friend is by calling us His friend.

John 15:13-15 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. He has called us to lay down our lives for others and this is His command. As we grow in our relationship with the Lord and keep His new command that He gave to us then He will make known to us His will and His ways. If you really want to be happy then be a friend of God. He calls you to be His friend.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

A Life that is Filled with True Love

A life that is filled with love will overflow with love. The only way that one can live a life that is filed with love is to live in the love of the One who so loved that He gave us His Son. His love is perfect, sacrificial and eternal. He loves because He is love. When we love because of His love through us then we will have His love for others. It is unconditional and iy is true. Our love is conditional, imperfect and selfish.

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

His first commandment is to come to Him. When we come to Him then we turn our back on our sin. We can not continue to sin and come to Him. All of us some time or other turned our back on Him and came to sin. Now, He is calling us to turn our back on our sin and come to Him. He will meet us the moment we turn to Him. Then He will let us know the next thing He wants us to do. It will be in accordance with His Word. It may be that He wants us to change friends, or ask forgiveness or forgive someone else.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

If you belong to Him then you will hear His voice. If you do not obey when you hear His voice then you may not hear it again. He waits until you obey. He wants obedience so that you can learn to live in His love. Is there something that you know that you should be doing and have not done it? You need to obey Him.

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness, and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

Moral excellence is obeying the Lord in what His Word says and keeping His commandments. That is the beginning of love. This is why many marriages fail…it is because the couple sowed seeds of a lack of moral excellence before they were married and then they reaped the bad fruit later. Nearly all marriages fail because of the seeds that were sown before marriage. It is the same in all of your relationships. There must be moral excellence for relationships to have the right foundation.

James 3:13-18Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

There are two kinds of wisdom just as there are two kinds of relationships. One of jealousy and selfish ambition or one that is pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and without hypocrisy. How sweet life is when it is done God’s way.

A Life that is Morally Upright

Morality and immorality are opposites. Immorality is exchanging eternal values for temporal values. Esau was immoral by trading his birthright for a meal. His birthright was his so why was his action immoral? His birthright was what had eternal value and the meal had temporal value.

Hebrews 12:16 that there be no immoral or godless person like Esau, who sold his own birthright for a single meal.

If we do not wait for God’s timing then we are also godless. Esau would have gotten some food but he could not wait.

Isaiah 64:4 For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.

The Lord has far more for you than what you can see or have heard of if you will only wait for Him.

Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

He can even do more than what you can think of if you will only trust Him and wait for Him.

James 1:16,17 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

Do not be deceived and listen to the lies of the devil that come out of the world or that even come into your thoughts. The Lord wants to give you good things and perfect gifts.

Isaiah 55:8,9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Learn to think His thoughts and learn His ways. His thoughts are revealed to us in His Word and that is also how we learn His ways. He has given His Word to us. It is His revelation of who He is. It is the only way that we know the only true God. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us through Jesus Christ.

Deuteronomy 29:29 “The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.

He wants to teach us His ways and He wants us to observe His Words, by observing He means to study, know and obey them.

Psalm 25:4 Make me know Your ways, O Lord; Teach me Your paths.

Are you thinking His thoughts and learning His ways. It is a lifelong process and the more we know His ways then the more we will know Him and experience His good gifts. That is why the Lord says over and over again in His Word that the ones who keep His commandments and follow His ways are blessed. Morality is keeping His ways and being obedient to His Words, which are eternal values. Immorality is doing what you want to do and satisfying your flesh, which are temporal values. You can be morally pure today if you will turn to the Jesus Christ with all of your heart. It is the state of your heart today and has nothing to do with your past. If you have blown it morally then confess your sins to Him and He will cleanse you and give you a new start and make you a new person. The old things pass away and all things become new.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

A Life that Recognizes a Wise Person

If you have wise people in your life and if you have a wise friend then you are especially blessed because the Bible says that you also will be wise. Since there are not many wise people in the world, for the way of wisdom and walking in God’s ways is narrow, then how do you recognize a wise person so that you might walk with them through life?

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Many a person has gotten into trouble by being a companion with a fool. However, many a person has been saved from much grief because they had a friend who was wise. First of all, seek to be wise and then ask the Lord to give you a wise friend. Your wise friend will stick closer than a brother and will speak truth to you even if it hurts.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

A wise friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than with your friendship with them. Their love for you will be Christlike and will point you to the Lord. However, how do you know when someone is a wise person?

James 3:13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

A wise person will have the fruit of wisdom and the fruit of wisdom is to do good. The Lord gave Solomon great wisdom because the heart of Solomon was to do good by leading God’s people in the right way. Solomon did not seek for wealth or honor but asked God for wisdom. A wise person will not seek after honor for themselves nor will they put their hope in riches. A wise person will seek the Lord and it will be evident in their life by their good deeds.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

A wise person will be teachable and will continually want to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him. The Bible says that a man will be praised according to his insight. A wise person will have God’s insight on matters.

Daniel 2:20,21 Daniel said,“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
“It is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men
And knowledge to men of understanding.

A wise person will recognize and know that the Lord is the source of all wisdom and that He is the One who gives wisdom to wise men and knowledge to men of understanding. A fool is one who is wise in his own eyes but a wise person will know that he has no wisdom of his own.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back.

A wise person does not have anger issues. Anger stems from wanting your own way and is destructive to those around them. If you want a life of misery then marry a fool and especially one who loses his temper. A wise person wants God’s way and is peaceful, gentle and loving. If you want a marriage designed by the Lord and is a taste of heaven then marry a wise person and enjoy the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Matthew 7:24 Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Finally, a wise person is one who builds their life on the Word of God. They don’t just listen to it but they do it. They seek the Lord diligently. This is who is wise and who will be a friend who will not only love God but will love you also. Seek to be this friend to others and you will find that those who are wise will want to be your friend. Your life will be richly blessed and you will be a blessing to others.

Hosea 14:9 Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;
Whoever is discerning, let him know them.
For the ways of the Lord are right,
And the righteous will walk in them,
But transgressors will stumble in them.

A Life that Is a Blessing

Do you want to be a blessing to others? As you are a blessing to others then your life will be blessed. You won’t have to worry about the Lord blessing you for you will feel as though heaven has opened up on your life and that blessings are poured down on you.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous man will be prosperous,
And he who waters will himself be watered.

Everyone always has something to give and those who give will be prosperous. As you give to others and water their lives then your life will also be watered and nourished. Everyone has needs and when you allow the Lord to open your eyes and see the needs of others then as you meet those needs your life will overflow. When you meet someone’s needs then it is like giving a cup of cold water to one who is thirsty.

Matthew 10:42 And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.

When you give a word of encouragement or thanksgiving to someone who has meant something to you then you are making their heart glad. Everyone needs their heart to be lifted up by their friends and family. There also are some who do not have friends or family and you can be a blessing sometimes to them even more than those who are not lacking in close relationships. The one who is the most thirsty is usually the one who is the most grateful.

Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down,
But a good word makes it glad.

All of our souls become weary. We need a good word from others. Ask the Lord to show you who you can give a good word to that their hearts might be lifted up.

Romans 10:15b-17 Just as it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!” However, they did not all heed the good news; for Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed our report?” So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.

The greatest way that you can bless someone is to bring them the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Most people want forgiveness but don’t know how to receive it. Most people want to believe in God but don’t know how to come to Him. When you bring the words of Christ to someone then you are sharing the greatest news there ever has been told. Your feet will be beautiful to the one who you share with and you will be blessed as well as being a blessing.

A Life that Chooses Good Friends

You will become like your friends therefore the most important decisions that you make in life after choosing the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior is who will be your friends. Choose good friends and you life will be blessed. Choose bad friends and your life will be filled with grief. This is one of the most profound choices that you will make in life. The companions with whom you walk through life will influence your other decisions.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Choose only to be with wise men and run from fools. A fool is someone who lives as if there is no God. They may even say that they believe in God but if they are living as if there is no God then they are living like a fool. Run from them.

Psalms 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds;
There is no one who does good.

All of us came into the world with a foolish heart. We must turn away from our foolish ways and turn to the Lord with all of our heart. Don’t look at what a person says but at what they do. It is by their deeds that people distinguish themselves.

Proverbs 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself
If his conduct is pure and right.

In the same way, the kind of friends that you attract will be the kind of people whom you are attracted to. Is your life pure and right? It is not only by their deeds that a person distinguishes himself but also by his type of speech.

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves purity of heart
And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

Choose only friends who desire a pure heart. Those who want their heart to be pure will be discerning about where their eyes go and what their ears hear. What goes into the heart of a man is what comes out of him and what comes out through his mouth is what defiles him.

Mark 7:20 And He was saying, “That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.

It is those who have a pure heart who will see Jesus.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Our greatest need in life is to see God for all that we do in life is a response to our view of God. If our view is right then our conduct will be upright. If our view of God is twisted then we will be crooked in our ways. If we choose friends who do not know God or do not see Him then they will lead us astray and we will forget our God.

I Corinthians 15:33 Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad.

Choose good friends and choose to be a good friend to others. Friendship means speaking the truth in love.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

If your friends are good then they will point you to Jesus and help you stay on the right path. Sometimes they might tell you what you don’t want to hear but it is much better than to have friends who will always tell you what you “want” to hear. Our hearts are deceitful so we need others in our lives who will help us in our times of weakness and temptation. The temptations will pass and the blessings will follow if we are faithful.

Proverbs 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

A Life that Knows the Truth

There is only One who is true and His Words are truth. If you do not know the truth then you will be deceived and the meaning of deception is that you are not aware that you are deceived, so much so that you believe a lie. Your beliefs will be manifested in your life so if you believe a lie then you will live a lie.

Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinks within himself, so he is.

Whatever goes into your heart and mind will come out in your words and actions. For this reason the Lord says to watch over your heart with all diligence.

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.

Fill your heart with what is good and good will flow from your mouth and life. Fill your heart and mind with trash and trash will flow from you.

Luke 6:45 The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

Your heart is a treasure chest and what you put into it is what you treasure. If you value your relationship with the Lord and value what He values then you will put His Words in your heart and treasure them.

Psalm 119:9-11 How can a young man keep his way pure?
By keeping it according to Your word.
With all my heart I have sought You;
Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.

Do you want the Lord? You must have a pure heart and clean hands. You must guard what goes into your heart. Do you want to come into His presence and know Him?

Psalm 24:3,4 Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
And who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood
And has not sworn deceitfully.

When you come into His presence then you will see Him and you will also see yourself for who you really are. You will no longer be deceived nor will you want to life up your soul to falsehood but will speak the truth. You will draw near to Him.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Do you want to know the nearness of God? Do you want to know His sweet presence? It begins by spending time with Him in His Word and prayer and seeing Him. Then after seeing Him and allowing Him to cleanse your heart through His Word, you then confess your sin and draw near to Him.

John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.

The nearness of God will be your good and you will see the goodness of the Lord. When you know Him then you will know the truth and the truth will change your life.

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

You will want to talk about Him and tell others all of the wonderful things that He has done. If you find yourself defending your actions or wanting to go to movies where you know in your heart that Jesus would not go to then stop…is it worth it? The Bibles says that Eve was deceived and she paid a huge price for her sin. Would someone who wants to know the Lord want to be with you because of your clean hands and pure heart?

Psalm 101:6,7 My eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land, that they may dwell with me;
He who walks in a blameless way is the one who will minister to me.
He who practices deceit shall not dwell within my house;
He who speaks falsehood shall not maintain his position before me.

Those who want the Lord will seek out others who want the Lord. Do you want to marry a godly man? Do you want godly friends? You must become a godly young lady. Be faithful to the Lord in all that you do and especially in what goes into your heart and mind. You can not have both the world and the Lord. If you try to have both then it is only a matter of time before your heart is deceived and you no longer will want or hear the truth, which is Jesus, for He said, “I am the way, the truth and the life”.

A Life that Loves People

If you love God then you will love people because God loves people. He loves everyone. The Bible says that He is good to the evil and the good.

Matthew 5:45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

If you are His child then you will want to become like Him.

I John 3:1-3 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

When we see Him we will be like Him but before that happens we are in the process of becoming like Him, which means we are being conformed into His likeness while on earth.

Romans 6:5 For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,

His destiny for us is to become like Him.

Romans 8:29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

It is through knowing Him that we become conformed to His death, His resurrection and His life.

Philippians 3:10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;

Jesus is the Word and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. God uses His Word to transform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

His Word becomes alive in us and replaces our old though patterns and habits.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Just as Jesus did not come to do His own will but the will of the Father, in the same way, we also are not to do our will but the will of God.

John 6:38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

Just as Jesus prayed in the garden, “not My will but Thy will be done”, we too are to pray the same and desire that His will would be done.

Luke 22:42 saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”

Jesus also taught His disciples to pray in the same way, that His will would be done.

Matthew 6:10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

When you choose to follow Jesus. He will be your Lord and it is His will that becomes of utmost importance. This is what it means to die to yourself. You are dying to your will and living to do His will. This is truly the only way that you can love people. It is the way that Jesus loved you by going to the cross for you. He chose the will of the Father.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

God so loved you so that you too might love others with the same kind of love. What amazing love!

A Life with Friendships

Proverbs 17:17a A friend loves at all times,

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

Proverbs 11:13 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

John 15:13-15 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

A Life that Recognizes a Wise Person

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

James 3:13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

Daniel 2:20,21 Daniel said,“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
“It is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men
And knowledge to men of understanding.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back.

Matthew 7:24 Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Hosea 14:9 Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;
Whoever is discerning, let him know them.
For the ways of the Lord are right,
And the righteous will walk in them,
But transgressors will stumble in them.