A Life that Understands the Need for Wisdom

Wisdom is knowing what to do in any situation, how to respond, what to say, what to do and what not to do, how to get out of a mess, how to succeed, and everything else that you need in life. The Bible says that if you are wise then you are wise for yourself but if you ignore wisdom and do not ask for wisdom then you alone will bear the pain. Everyone else may sympathize with you, but at the end of the day, you are the one with the broken heart or the rejection. The Bible also says that the person who has wisdom enjoys life. Wisdom is the secret to everything. Life is challenging and since every day is a new day, wisdom is what gives you the confidence that life can and will get better. If you do not have wisdom then you are just hoping you are making the right decision and guessing on what to do. Wisdom is the light in the darkness. Wisdom is not what you always want to hear but it is what you need to hear. Over and over again, Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear”. Listen to wisdom and do what wisdom tells you to do and you will soar in life and love. Wisdom is the opposite of foolishness.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

Understand that Pain Comes from Not Knowing Wisdom

Someone once said that stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Have you been hurt many times in relationships? Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over again? Do you blame others for the pain in your life? You need to ask yourself, “how long am I going to allow myself to be hurt?” and “what am I doing that needs to change?” God’s ways are wisdom. God’s ways are not politically correct. God’s ways are not going to be popular but they are good and will keep you from being hurt. The Lord wants to teach us how to do life. He is loving and compassionate towards us. He wants you to be loved and wants you to learn to trust again, if you have been hurt. Go to Him and ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give to all who ask Him and without criticizing you!

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Understand that the Lord loves you and if you will come to Him then He will help you. He made you and He understands how fragile your heart is and what you need. He is gentle and humble and when you come to Him then you will find rest for your soul.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28,29

A Life that is Filled with Love

A life that is filled with love will overflow with love. The only way that one can live a life that is filed with love is to live in the love of the One who so loved that He gave us His Son. His love is perfect, sacrificial and eternal. He loves because He is love. When we love because of His love through us then we will have His love for others. It is unconditional. Our love is conditional, imperfect and selfish.

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

His first commandment is to come to Him. When we come to Him then we turn our back on our sin. We can not continue to sin and come to Him. All of us some time or other turned our back on Him and came to sin. Now, He is calling us to turn our back on our sin and come to Him. He will meet us the moment we turn to Him. Then He will let us know the next thing He wants us to do. It will be in accordance with His Word. It may be that He wants us to change friends, or ask forgiveness or forgive someone else.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

If you belong to Him then you will hear His voice. If you do not obey when you hear His voice then you may not hear it again. He waits until you obey. He wants obedience so that you can learn to live in His love. Is there something that you know that you should be doing and have not done it? You need to obey Him.

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness,  and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

Moral excellence is obeying the Lord in what His Word says and keeping His commandments. That is the beginning of love. This is why many marriages fail…it is because the couple sowed seeds of a lack of moral excellence before they were married and then they reaped the bad fruit later. Nearly all marriages fail because of the seeds that were sown before marriage. It is the same in all of your relationships. There must be moral excellence for relationships to have the right foundation.

James 3:13-18 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

There are two kinds of wisdom just as there are two kinds of relationships. One of jealousy and selfish ambition or one that is pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and without hypocrisy. How sweet life is when it is done God’s way.

A Life of Faith

A life of faith is one of pleasing the Lord through believing Him and trusting Him.  If you desire to please the One who loves you so much then you must live by faith. Faith is coming to Him and believing His Word. We think that we would be blessed if we could actually see the Lord but the Lord says, “blessed are they who did not see and yet believe”. Faith is believing in His promises by actually taking Him at His Word and acting as if they will come to pass. The outcome will be that you will see His faithfulness to fulfill His promises and you will grow to love Him more and more. When you grow to love Him more then you will want to please Him more and your faith will grow.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

The opposite of faith is despair. Despair leads downward into darkness of the soul. Faith leads upward into the light of the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

When you believe and have faith then it fosters courage which brings about hope.

Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Are you struggling in your faith? The Lord’s provision for you is His Word. Spend time in His Word until your faith is increased. Keep reading until a verse speaks to you. It is the Lord calling you to Himself. He wants to speak to you through His Spirit and bless you.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.

Ask the Lord to help you grow in your faith as you seek Him through His Word. He “meets the one who delights in righteousness”.

Romans 10:17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.

 

A Life that Understands the Cost of a Great Marriage

It is understandable that some people do not like what is being written in these posts. Selfishness is the opposite of love and all people are basically selfish. A great marriage is made up of two unselfish people. Even if only one of the people is unselfish then that will change a marriage from bad to good. It is hard to continually fight against love. Love will always cost the person who loves. That is the nature of anything precious and love is worth much and is costly to the one who gives it but love is worth it. It is true that it is better to give than to receive. Usually whenever any gift is given who has the most joy? The one who gives generally has the most joy. In fact, the Lord says to not give under compulsion because giving is an aspect of love and love is a choice. To give is to be godlike, for God so loved the world that He gave. God so loved you that He gave what was most precious to Him and that was His only begotten Son.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

Understand What a Great Marriage will Cost the Wife

A great marriage is a gift and it is also requires great sacrifice. A great marriage is made up of two people who sacrifice their own wants, dreams, needs, longings and comforts for another. It is best to give all of these to the Lord and allow Him to give back to you in His time what you really need. We usually do not know what we really need. How many things have we all longed for, that in hindsight, we see that they would not have been good for us. Trust the Lord to give you what is good. He will withhold the bad and give you the good if you leave the giving to Him. A great marriage is costly but just as when Mary took a pound of very costly perfume and anointed the feet of Jesus, the fragrance of her love filled the house. In a similar way, when you love another in a sacrificial, costly manner then the fragrance of the expression of your love will fill the environment where you are. Your love will be a sweet fragrance to the one loved and to all who are around and you will be the one blessed the most.Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3 Understand that when you do what is right and love your husband with a godlike love that you will be filled with great joy. Your life will be a fragrant aroma to all who come in contact with you and your joy will spill over into your husband, your children and everyone else who knows you. No one can ever rob you of joy because much joy comes from loving and doing what is right. “You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Share this:

A Life with a New Heart

The greatest miracle in the world is when the Lord gives someone a new heart. Not only does He give someone a new heart but He puts a new spirit within them. He removes the heart of stone which we all have in us that causes us to be self centered and to care for ourselves above all others. Our old heart becomes more and more hardened and we do not even feel the pain that we cause to others. We say ugly words with no thought of the broken hearts and hurt feelings of our parents, friends, spouses, acquaintances and those who serve us in the work places of life. Sometimes we don’t say or do anything but our sins are acts of omission when we could have done something to relieve the suffering of someone else but we were so consumed with our own lives we never really noticed. Our thoughtlessness can be as damaging when we may be the only person in a position to help someone else in need.

Ezekiel 36:26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

When we become born again then He puts His Spirit within us and makes us a new person. He gives us a new heart and a new spirit and He comes to live within us and lives through us. He opens our eyes and our ears. He becomes our God and our Lord. He causes us to walk in His ways and observe His ordinances and when we do that then we will love the Lord and our neighbor as we should.

Ezekiel 36:27,28 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God.

He will cleanse us from our sins and forgive us from everything wrong that we have done. His forgiveness is complete and includes all of our sins: past, present and future. He forgives us of our acts of omission as well as our actions that we have done against Him and others.

Ezekiel 36:29a Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness;

He will bless us and multiply our resources. He will keep famine away. He will multiply the fruit of our labor.

Ezekiel 36:29b-30a and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field,

He will remove our disgrace among others and take away our shame.

Ezekiel 36:30b so that you will not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations.

The evidence of a new heart is that when we remember our evil ways and deeds that were not good then we will hate what we have done. If it were not for His great love for us then we would also hate ourselves for what we have done. Our heart of flesh will feel the pain and grief that we have caused others.

Ezekiel 36:31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations.

The incredible good news is that we are forgiven and made right with God through Jesus Christ and His work on the cross. We can now commune with Him and hear His voice. We can see His great love and feel it as well. We can love others with a pure heart and feel their pains and griefs. We have compassion on others because of His great compassion on us. This is how you know that you have a new heart and that His Spirit lives with you. You are a new person and the old things have passed away. New things have come.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

A Life Strong in Storms of Life

Building your life is like building a house. If it is done right then it will stand when the storms come. However, it is too late to build your life during the storms, it must be done during the sunshiney days. You will be secure and will not be fearful if you build it with the right foundation and the right materials.

Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

The wise woman builds her life on the Word of God so she will be ready when the storms come. She will gain wisdom through the trials to strengthen her life so that she will not  be anxious or depressed over the outcome. Neither will she be boastful for she understands that there is a Master Builder who has a design and a plan and He does not make mistakes.

I Corinthians 3:11 For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is the only foundation for any life that stands strong. Everything else will ultimately fail. A life must be built upon His Word, for He and His Word are equal.
Psalm 138:2 For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name.
The Lord invites all to come to Him. Listen to what He says and do it.

Luke 6:47-49 “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and act on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; an the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

If you will do exactly as the Master Builder and One who made you has instructed you, then your life will be firmly rooted and will stand strong when the storms come. You will not panic because you acted wisely.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;

Finally, if you trust in the Lord and build your life on His Word then He will build it through you.

Psalm 127:1a Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;

 

 

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need to Respect a Woman

Men long for respect and they need respect. Men also need to respect a woman and women need for men to respect them. A man needs a woman but he especially needs a woman that he respects. A woman that a man respects will lift him up to a higher standard of behavior. A man generally will not curse around a lady nor will he act in other crude manners. Her respectful behavior is enough to change him as he observes it and her lack of response to any crude jokes or comments is enough to shame him. A man can be a man with other men and not offend them but a man needs to learn how to act in a loving, respectful manner with females.Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1The word “good” in this verse means, in the original language, the highest form of love.

Understanding A Woman’s Need for Respect

A woman needs respect. A woman’s self worth is affected by how she is treated. If she is treated poorly then she will start to feel poorly about herself. She longs for love and needs love but she also needs respect. Love and respect go hand in hand. If a woman is treated like a queen then she will feel like a queen. If she feels like a queen then she will want to marry a king and feel that she is worthy of a king. If she feels like dirt then she will feel that no king would want to marry her and she will “settle” for far less. A woman’s self worth is one of the most important aspects of who she is. When a man uses a woman in any way then he is neither loving her or respecting her. When a female allows herself to be used then she is bringing destruction to herself. When a man uses a woman then it is like squeezing the juice out of an orange and then discarding the orange. The woman is no longer the same. She is no longer vibrant and feeling healthy about herself because she has been used and rejected. She will often settle for someone “not as nice” as the first man and if she is looking for love in the wrong way then he will squeeze more juice out of her and then discard her. The pattern continues until she is left feeling empty and rejected by men.

but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13b

Salt becomes tasteless when it has been compromised. A woman will be rejected and walked over by men if she compromises her morals and allows a man to touch her in inappropriate places or have premariatal sex. A man does not love a woman that he has sex with before marriage. He is using her for his own selfish desire. Nearly all men who are unfaithful to their wives after marriage had sex before marriage. They did not learn to control their passions before marriage and usually can not control them afterwards. Sex is a physical appetite to a man and he must learn to control his sexual drive. He learns to control himself by first learning to control what he looks at. His eyes get him into trouble and the Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied”. It is important that a female dress in a modest manner that does not direct the man’s eyes to sexually stimulating parts of her body. If she does, she will get attention but not the love and respect she longs for and the attention is only for a moment. If he is stimulated then he will want to touch her in an inappropriate manner and she must say “no” so that he does not get what he wants. It is much better if the boundaries are already established by how she dresses.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need for a Friend

A man’s best friend should be his wife. She is to be his companion and friend for life. A man of many friends comes to ruin but there should be a friend that sticks closer than a brother and that friend should be his wife. Her loyalty should never fail. She should be his biggest fan in the bad times as well as the good times. A friend loves at all times.  A man needs someone whom he can always trust and who will always do him good. God’s design for a wife is that she should be her husband’s friend and companion.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11,12

Understanding a Wife’s Need to Be Her Husband’s Friend

A man needs someone who he can trust in and someone who will stand by him all of the days of his life. He needs someone whom he can share his deepest longings and dreams and who will not laugh at him but believe in him. He needs a wife who he can confide in and she will not share with others the secrets of her husband. He needs a wife with whom he can be completely vulnerable. The only way that a wife can be the wife that God designed, is if she gives herself completely to the Lord. Becoming a godly wife is a process just as becoming a godly husband. Go to the blueprint of God’s Word and see what He says. His ways are perfect and you will be blessed as you follow His instructions. A trustworthy friend is one who is worthy of trust. That takes maturity but as you grow in your relationship with the Lord then you will grow in your trustworthiness. When your husband is your best friend and you are his best friend then life and marriage is sweet. Your cup will be full and the joy will overflow.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? Proverbs 20:6

Understand that character is what differentiates people. People will proclaim their love and loyalty but a trustworthy and faithful person is rare. Seek to become like Jesus Christ and allow Him to make you into the person that He designed and then you will be ready for the man of God’s own choosing in His time. If you are a trustworthy person then you will be a trustworthy wife.

A Life Not Disappointed

The Master Builder says that you will not be disappointed if you build your life on His design and according to His instructions.

Romans 10:11 For the Scripture says, “WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.”

Believing means that you are trusting Him to be your Lord and will follow His instructions exactly how to build your life. Not only that, but you will let Him be the builder and allow Him to build your life and make the choices. The opposite of allowing Him to be the builder is believing that you know what is best for your life and that you need to make the decisions…such as, who you will marry, where you will live etc. Lordship means that He is Lord of your life and you are to follow and obey Him. His promise is…”you will not be disappointed”. He is the only One who can make this promise and keep it. No human can ever love you the same way.

Isaiah 64:5 You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness, who remembers You in Your ways.

The Lord meets the one who wants to do life right, that is, according to His ways. He will help the one who wants to build their life on His Word. He will come to you and help you learn to obey Him and follow His instructions and His commandments.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

The outcome of doing life God’s way and building your life on His Word is that you will not be disappointed and you will have a life of peace, quietness and confidence. If you don’t do it God’s way then you will be disappointed and will be tempted to be bitter and envious of others and there will be NO peace, quietness and confidence. You will have doubts and regrets.

A Life Understanding Man’s Need for Responses

One of the ways that a man will recognize the woman that God has chosen for him is that she will respond to his heart. The Bible says that it was not good for the man to be alone and that God made the man a helpmate who will correspond to him. Cor means heart and so correspond means that she responds to his heart. She learns all about the man and seeks to understand his heart, his needs, his dreams and his desires. She has an innate understanding of the man that God has for her. After they get married she continues to seek to know him and will seek to do what her husband would want her to do for him. This is one of the reasons that happily married couples who have been married for a long time understand what the other is thinking. They have become of one heart and one mind and it happens through seeking to understand each other. The husband is told by the Lord to live with his wife in an understanding manner and the wife learns to understand her husband and respond to his heart. A man learns to live with his wife through her responses to him. If she likes something, such as flowers or candy or gifts then her response teaches him how to please his wife. If he does something that is inappropriate or crude then she does not respond to it and he will quickly learn not to do it if he loves her. In a loving marriage each one seeks to please the other and the husband learns mostly through her responses.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding a Woman’s Need to Respond

A wife communicates her love to her husband through responding to him. Responding to your man is probably one of the most powerful things that a woman can do. A man needs to be wanted by his wife and he feels loved and wanted when she responds to him. She needs to respond outwardly through her excitement at seeing him when he has been away or they have been apart for the day. Most husbands need their wife’s affections through touching and not necessarily in a sexual manner. A man loves to be touched by the woman he loves and it is an affirmation of her love. A  man generally will never get tired of kissing his wife and the more kisses that you give him in response to him then he will love it all the more. The man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. Sometimes a female needs to learn to respond and especially if she has been hurt in the past. The Lord will help you if you ask him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4

Understand that God made the man to be the initiator and the woman to be the responder. A man often does not know what the woman is thinking so he tries to understand what she likes and does not like through her responses so that he will know if he should continue to initiate in that direction and in that manner. Before marriage some females feel that they should be “cool” when a young man asks her out or initiates toward toward her but if she is interested in him then she needs to show a response that lets him know. She only needs to respond to what he initiates. If she does not care to be in a relationship then she can say no and that is okay.

The VERY WORSE THING that a wife can do is close off her spirit to her husband and pretend that everything is okay by going through the motions of doing her “duties” as a wife. She is not fooling anyone but herself and she is confusing the man. She is sending a double signal and it comes across very insincere because it is fake. Be honest, if you have been hurt, let him know in a way that is not judgmental or accusatory. Most men honestly do not know or understand females. He needs you but he needs you to help him understand your needs and you need him to understand you.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We all need forgiveness. We need God to forgive us and we need to forgive each other. Marriage is challenging in the sense that it involves two people learning to live in harmony with one another, which means that we have to be kind to each other, tender-hearted with one another and forgiving each other. We can only do this if we have received and experienced God’s great love and forgiveness of our many sins.