A Life that is Gracious

A gracious life will receive honor. A gracious woman is a beautiful lady and a woman that lacks graciousness is displeasing to the senses.

Proverbs 11:16 A gracious woman attains honor,

A gracious lady knows how to speak in such a way that she gives grace to her hearers. The opposite is a woman who speaks or acts in such a way that people need grace to be around her and listen to her.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

A righteous person does not want to disgrace or shame someone but will seek to cover up their shame. Joseph was called a righteous man and he did not want to disgrace Mary when he thought that she had sinned.

Matthew 1:19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.

The opposite of a gracious lady is a woman who is a gossip. This is a lack of moral excellence and will destroy her friendships, her reputation and people will not trust her.

I Timothy 3:11 Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.

The Bible says to not associate with a gossip and certainly do not be a friend with one who talks about others and reveals their secrets.

Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.

A gracious person is a joy to be around and it is a privilege and gift to have a gracious lady as a friend. Are you the kind of person that others seek as a friend? Do you seek wise ladies to be your friends?

Ecclesiastes 10:12 Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him;

Jesus was full of grace and it was evident in His words as well as His actions.

Luke 4:22 And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips; and they were saying, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”

 

 

 

A Life that Understands When to and When Not to Give

If Eve had first given herself to the Lord then she would not have given the forbidden fruit to Adam. Eve was deceived because her priorities were not in order. A girl will always give the wrong thing to a guy if she does not first give herself to the Lord. She may give her heart to a guy before the time to do so or she may give her body to a guy before the appropriate time because she has not first given her heart and body to the Lord. If she does either then she will be hurt. It is not “if she will be hurt” but it is “when she will be hurt” because she has not walked in God’s ways. The Lord says that “Blessed is the person who fears the Lord and walks in His ways”. Fear the Lord means that a person respects the Lord and what He says and does it. Walking in His ways means that a person will walk through life according to how the Lord tells us to walk. The Lord teaches us His ways because He does not want us to get hurt. When we are stubborn and think that we know better then God then we will always get hurt. When we do not listen to the Lord but we listen to others then we will be hurt. The Lord has no hidden agenda. The Lord loves each person and wants the best for them. He knows how to do life because He is the author and creator of life. If you want to do life right and be happy then you must follow what He says.

And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. I Timothy 2:14

Eve was deceived because she listened to the devil and did not remember what the Lord said and “it sounded good”. She reasoned within her heart. She listened to a lie and she responded to a lie and did what was wrong. She brought destruction to herself. Doing right is like swimming upstream. It will not just happen. You must be pro-active. You must set your heart to do what is right and then go about doing what is necessary to fulfill what is right.

Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; Proverbs 2:2

Understand that if you give your heart and body to the Lord and seek to walk in His ways that He will guard your heart and your body until the time is right for you to give it to your husband on your wedding day. The Lord loves you and He does not want to see you get hurt. Trust Him with what is most precious to you. The Lord will Himself put pressure on your husband to treat you right and the Lord will deal with your husband severely if he does not treat you right. Let the Lord be the One whom you trust first and foremost of all.

for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day. II Timothy 1:12b

Just because a female offers a man something it does not mean that he should take it. If he loves himself and if he loves her then he will not take what is not his to take. He is sinning just as Adam sinned when he took what he knew that he should not take from Eve. Women are easily deceived and might think that something might be good to give but the man is not deceived. He knows that it is wrong. The Lord will judge him. The woman is doing wrong also and she will be judged by the Lord as well, but often the outcome will be bitterness toward men or bitterness towards her husband. Either for the man or for the woman it is not good to give or take physically before marriage and both are sowing the seeds of discontent and trouble in their marriages, whether they marry each other or each marry someone else.

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called His daughters to be responders. First of all, we need to learn to respond to Him. He is the great pursuer and He longs to have a relationship with you and to fellowship with you on a daily basis and even moment by moment. He loves it when you pray to Him about everything.

Proverbs 15: 8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, But the prayer of the upright is His delight.

He wants you to pray to Him about everything and not to worry about anything.

I Peter 3:4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

A lady needs to learn to cast all of her cares on Him.

I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

He wants you to become a woman after His heart and to learn to respond to His heart rather than go through the motions of being religious.

Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!

David was a man after God’s heart and that is why the Lord chose him to be king of Israel. The Lord will use you in a way that will bring you great joy when you learn to be a woman after God’s heart.

Acts13:22 After He had removed him, He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’

The Lord is looking for one who will give their heart completely to Him. He will support you and you will abide in His love.

II Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.”

If the Lord is for you then who can be against you? You will always come out victorious. He will withhold nothing from you that you need.

Romans 8:31,32 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

 

A Life that Understands the Need to Know the Truth

Understanding What Causes Wrong Responses

The Lord made women to be responders. If a woman responds to a lie then her response will be wrong every time. When she listens to lies, not only will her response be wrong but she will find herself confused. The Lord is not a “God of confusion”. God is a God of truth and “He is the Truth”. There is not much in the world today that is truth so a woman must seek out truth. When she learns truth then she will be able to identify lies. Most lies are the truth that has been distorted or tweaked. They are counterfeit “truths” and not truth at all but “look” like the truth and may “sound” like the truth. They may seem to make sense at first but the end is destruction. Satan is a liar and the father of lies. His plan for all people is destruction. Satan is a destroyer. He wants to destroy you and any love relationship that you have the opportunity to have. Satan wants to destroy marriages and families. He wants to destroy children. Often at first, the devil will “question” the truth to put doubts in people. The devil wants people to doubt God’s great love.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” Genesis 3:1

Understand the Need to Know and Listen to the Truth

Eve should never have engaged in conversation with the devil. If you talk to a liar then you will be lied to every time. If a person will lie then they will be unfaithful. Never be friends with a liar and if a man is a liar have nothing to do with him. Love is trust and you will never be able to trust him. God’s Word is truth. You must know God’s Word with all of your heart. God’s Word is what will teach you the truth in every area of life. God’s Word will keep you from getting hurt. God’s Word is life. Read God’s Word every day and memorize verses. Get a friend to help you. Eve added to God’s Word and Satan was able to take advantage of her error. Do not add to God’s Word and do not take from it. The Bible says, “wise men store up knowledge”. Even if you do not understand it then ask God for understanding.

The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:2-5

Understand that the choice is your choice also, whether you will choose God and His truth or choose Satan and his lies. One choice leads to life and the other choice leads to death. Adam and Eve chose Satan over God. They chose to listen to the lies of the devil rather than the truth of God. They died. God does not lie. Do not lean on your own understanding. The tree, that God had forbidden them to eat of, looked good to Eve, but it was the snare of death. She brought death to herself and death to Adam. She exchanged happiness for sorrow and sadness. She exchanged peace and security for fear and anxiety. Happiness does not “just happen to those who are lucky” but happiness in life comes from making the right choices. There is only one right choice to make and that is to live God’s way, for His way is a way of life, peace and love. Many a woman has brought destruction to her own life, home and family because she trusted in herself rather than in God.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:6-10

Adam and Eve became afraid because they had done wrong and hid themselves from God and His love. We make our choices and our choices make us. Make sure you make the right choice in life. Your happiness and love will depend on it.

A Life that Listens

A life that listens to the voice of the Good Shepherd is a life that lives in tranquility. The Lord speaks to us in different ways. He says that His sheep hear His voice. This is what He wants. He wants to speak to you through His Holy Spirit that He has made to dwell within you. He speaks to your spirit when you become spiritually alive. You become spiritually alive when you become born again. You become one of His sheep and He becomes your Shepherd. As your Good Shepherd, who lays down His life for the sheep, He will protect you and guide your steps to keep you out of harm.

John10:11 “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

He knows you by name and calls to you. He will communicate His love for you in many different ways. You will see His hand and hear His voice.

John 10:14-16 I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd.

He has sheep throughout the world and all through the ages. We belong to the Shepherd and He makes us one, regardless of color or race. He is the good Shepherd. The word “good” means the highest form of love. He has an unconditional love for each one of us. There is nothing that we can do to cause Him to love us more.

Proverbs 6:22 When you walk about, they will guide you;  When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.

He speaks to you through His Word. You must be faithful to put it in your heart so that when the time comes that you need comfort or guidance or whatever your need is, He can talk to you as you walk about and even when you are asleep or awake.

Psalm 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

The word “beloved” means just what it says, “be loved”. The Lord calls you beloved because He wants you to be loved by Him. Let Him love you as He longs to do. Let your striving be your seeking after Him so that you can hear His voice. He will give to you even in your sleep.

 

 

A Life that Understands Importance of A Pure Heart

Understanding What It Means to Have A Pure Heart

The Bible says that God looks on the heart but man looks on the outward appearance. If we could see everyone’s heart then none of us would be desirable because all of our hearts need purifying. However, the Lord, who made us can see the truth in us and can also cleanse our heart. We need to have a pure heart. There is something very refreshing about a person with a pure heart. When a person does not have a pure heart then the Bible says that they are double minded. They are not sure what they want and they are very hard to please. The word “integrity” means that there is oneness within the person. There soul and spirit is integrated into one. A person with a pure heart is a person of integrity. When Jesus Christ comes and lives within a person then He gives them a new heart and He begins to transform them into a person of integrity. A person of integrity can be trusted. They have no hidden agenda. A person with a pure heart will always point you upward in the right direction and will cause others to want to be pure. They will raise the standard wherever they go and often will not even be aware of it. A man that finds a wife with a pure heart will always be blessed. She will be faithful to him and do him good all the days of her life.

                Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

Understanding How to Get a Pure Heart

A wife who has a pure heart is more precious than jewels to her husband and if he is wise then he will value her greatly. However, only the Lord can purify our heart. It does not matter what you have done in the past. A pure heart is not necessarily an innocent heart. A pure heart is a new heart that the Lord gives to all who come to Him in humility and whoever will call on Him to cleanse them and purify them. He can and wants to restore your purity. Ask Him to cleanse your heart. Read His Word and you will find that His Words are pure and they will cleanse your heart. If you had a dirty hand and you were to put your hand under a spigot of flowing water then the dirt would be dislodged and your hand would be cleansed. The Word has cleansing power. Read God’s Word every day and keep reading it and do what He says. If there is something to give thanks to Him about then give Him thanks. If there is something to confess then confess to Him what you have done wrong. He loves you and will cleanse you and give you a pure heart.

You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. John 15:3

The best preparation for a relationship and marriage is to become the person that God designed you to be. The way that happens is by spending time with the Lord and allowing His Word to transform you. He will give you very much and the only things that He will take away are the things that would hurt you. Next to spending time with the Lord is spending time with friends who will point you to the Lord. Ask the Lord for friends with a pure heart. You will know when you meet someone with a pure heart because their heart will reflect your heart and you will not be deceived (for the heart is more deceitful than all else) but will see how dirty your heart is. Our tendency is to think that we are doing okay but that happens when we are around people who do not have a pure heart. One of the first steps to a pure heart is to acknowledge that our heart is not pure. All of our hearts need cleansing. It is sweet when we have no ulterior motive with others but we can love them with a pure love. That is the kind of love that makes a marriage great because it is God’s kind of love.

As in water face reflects face, So the heart of man reflects man. Proverbs 27:19

A Life of Understanding

A life of understanding is a very exciting life. Could you imagine understanding matters that the world wonders about and yet never come to know? They are ever seeking but never coming to the knowledge of the truth.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.

The beginning of true understanding is to not lean on your own understanding. We look and perceive with our eyes and ears. All we can do is observe but not know about the inner workings of many matters in life. When we look to Him then He gives us insight into the “why”. The creator of the universe who made it all not only understands but will give to His children great understanding. For example, “why do men behave the way they do?” We know a man’s wants but what are his needs? The Lord who made men knows them better than anyone and will give you insight. The Bible says that the eyes of man are never satisfied. Once a man’s wants are satisfied then he will often go elsewhere. There are certain things that a man needs and he will generally go, stay and return to where his needs are met. The same is true for all of us. We will go where our needs are met but our wants are constantly changing.

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

If you want to understand then rather than study the desired object get to know the One who is the Creator of all things.

Exodus 35:31 And He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding and in knowledge and in all craftsmanship;

Keeping God’s commandments will give you understanding. Obedience comes before understanding. Often we want to understand and then obey but faith is obeying first and then He rewards us with understanding.

Deuteronomy 4:6 So keep and do them, for that is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all these statutes and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’

God’s Word is what gives understanding.

Psalm 119:130 The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.

The fear of the Lord and understanding go together.

Psalm 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;

Ask the Lord for understanding. King Solomon asked for understanding and it pleased the Lord so much that He gave him riches, honor and life.

I Kings 3:9 So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

He gives understanding and along with understanding comes blessing.

Job 12:13 With Him are wisdom and might; To Him belong counsel and understanding.

To depart from evil is understanding.

Job 28:28 “And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.’ “

Apart from understanding, which is the knowledge of the Lord, we are like the beasts that perish.

Psalm 49:20 Man in his pomp, yet without understanding, Is like the beasts that perish.

One who seeks understanding has a heart to obey the Lord.

Psalm 119:34 Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart.

Do you struggle with confusion? The opposite of confusion is understanding. The Lord says that He is not a God of confusion. When you find yourself saying, “I am so confused,” then stop what you are doing and ask the Lord to give you understanding and seek Him in His Word. He wants to give you the knowledge of Him and show you understanding.

I Corinthians 2:9, 14-16 but just as it is written, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him.”

But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

The truly spiritual Christian appraises all things yet he himself is appraised by no one. The non Christian, or natural man, does not accept nor understand the things of the Lord.

 

A Life Understanding How to Know the One for You

Understand How to Recognize the Man Who Is for You

“How do I know if someone is the one for me?” is a common question. That question is asked usually before a person meets the one for them because most people “know” when they meet the one for them. Before you meet the “one” for you, you will probably meet many who you will know are not the one for you. You and your future mate will be a good fit for one another. The man will be the initiator and the woman will be the responder. The man must take responsibility for the relationship and be the leader. Every woman longs for a man to be a leader but she must be willing to follow the man who will be the head of their home. If she does not respect the man and is not willing to follow the man then he is not the one for her. A woman must learn to be patient and wait for the man to initiate.

Understand The Importance of Trusting the Lord

The Lord tells us not to lean on our own understanding. We often think that there are certain things that we want in a man but most of what we think is important before marriage is not what matters as much after marriage. How a man treats his wife is the highest after marriage and how good looking he is goes down the list. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Go to Scripture and research what the Lord says about a loving and kind man who would be a good husband. Unless someone has received God’s unconditional love then they will never be able to love someone else with an unconditional love. The greatest need of a wife is to be loved.

I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. Ecclesiastes 3:14

You will know when you meet the man for you because there will be nothing to add to him and nothing to take from him. It will not mean that he is perfect but it will mean that you will not say, “I really like him but…”. If there are any “buts” then whatever it is that makes you hesitant will come back to bother you later. Also, does your father like him and want you to marry him? A father can see aspects of a man that a young woman can not see. Do not marry a man if you have doubts. Wait. It is too big of a decision to go into with doubts.

A Life that Knows the Will of God

Often people will ask, “How do I know what is God’s will for my life?”.  Is it possible to know His will? There are several ways to help you know the will of the Lord for your life.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

There are three aspects of God’s will. The will of God will always be good and acceptable and perfect.

Mark 10:18 No one is good except God alone.

God is good. The word good means the highest form of love. God’s will for you will be loving for others. If something you want to do does not express the love of God then it is not God’s will for you to do it. There are many things that are not a sin but they are not loving because the activity may make someone stumble. If you think then that you will do it in secret then it will be okay because it will not make anyone stumble then you are not acting wisely.

Proverbs 18:1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom.

God’s will is always wise because He is the fullness of wisdom.

Colossians 2:2,3 a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself,  in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

God’s will is perfect. You will know what is God’s will when there is nothing to add to it and nothing to take from it. If you ever find yourself saying, “I really like him “but”…” or “I really want to do this “but”…” then you find that the “but” is what will come back to bite you later on and will bring great frustration and sometimes torment. The Lord has give you authority to help you in your desire to know God’s will. Go to the ones over you and ask them what they think. Often the Lord will speak through them. Maybe that particular thing that you want is His will but not His timing yet. Until there is nothing to add to it and nothing to take away do not do it but wait on the Lord and ask Him to help you.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

the will of the Lord will always be acceptable. God is holy and He has commanded us to be holy.

I Peter 1;15,16 but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;  because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

God’s will can be seen in His commandments. His commandments are holy and He has called us to be holy so His will will never violate what He has said in His Word. His will for your life will always be acceptable to Him.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

So ask yourself concerning something that you are wondering if it is His will…”Is this person I want to be with, this place I want to go or this thing I want to do” good and acceptable and perfect? If it does not meet these three criteria then do not do it. The Bible says that you will lie down in torment if you “light your own fire” rather than trust in the Lord and rely on Him.

Isaiah 50:10,11 Who is among you that fears the Lord,
That obeys the voice of His servant,
That walks in darkness and has no light?
Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.
Behold, all you who kindle a fire,
Who encircle yourselves with firebrands,
Walk in the light of your fire
And among the brands you have set ablaze.
This you will have from My hand:
You will lie down in torment.

One more thing, is there something already in your life that you know that you should be doing that you are not doing? You need to do what He has already shown you before you will receive more light concerning something else. Obedience brings light.

 

 

 

A Life Understanding that A Man’s Love is a Gift

A man’s love for a woman is a gift.  When a man is asking a woman to marry him then he is offering himself to her to love her and to husband her. The word “husband” is a nurturing and caring term. The husband is to care for, provide for, protect and love his wife for better or for worse in the good days and not so good days. He is giving himself to her for her well being and to do her good all the days of his life. Love is a gift that is given to another. It is the highest and best gift. To love someone is the greatest honor and no one is worthy of the gift of love from another.

Understand that a Woman Must Not Manipulate

A woman longs for the attention and love of a man and often she will be tempted to “take it into her hands” to get what she wants. If she manipulates to get what she wants then she is only cheating herself of a gift of love. She will never know “for sure” if the man she “caught” is the man that the Lord wanted to give her. The Lord wants to give her to the man and when she manipulates then she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought her to her husband. When Adam needed a wife, the Lord brought her to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam. The Lord still wants to give a wife to a man. It is crucial to know for sure that the Lord is the One who brought two people together because there will always be trying days in any marriage and there is great comfort in knowing that what God has joined together that He will keep together if they look to Him.

What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9

A wife is a favor that the Lord gives to a man. She is his greatest treasure and when he receives his wife he is receiving a gift from the Lord. The Lord is perfect in all His ways and you will be forever grateful to the Lord if you trust Him to bring you and your mate together. If you manipulate in a relationship, then later on you will be tempted to doubt and may wonder if you did not bring it about, rather than trust the Lord. Manipulation is selfish and deceitful and is not pleasing to the Lord. Manipulation is not living by faith and trusting the Lord. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed. The Lord is good. He wants a wife to be a gift to the man. Let your husband find you.

           He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22