Uncategorized – Page 36 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love Is Not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life that Understands Satisfaction in Marriage

Understanding What Brings Dissatisfaction in Marriage

Many of the problems that come in marriages and relationships are expectations. Expecting someone else to fulfill desires and needs in you that another can not fill. No one will ever be able to fulfill the expectations in another. Expectations destroy friendships, marriages and any relationship. Expectations set a person up for disappointments, ongoing ingratitude, anger and eventual bitterness. Expectations are desires, needs and standards that are ingrained in you because of your background, the way you were brought up, cultural expectations or from books or movies you have seen. Expectations are one of the major reasons for dissatisfaction in marriages. Satisfying marriages bring much happiness and less disappointment for both spouses.

Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

Understanding What Brings Satisfaction in Marriages

Expectations are a lack of maturity. Nearly everyone when they get older and more mature will be honest with themselves and acknowledge that they had unrealistic expectations of their spouse when they were younger in their marriage. Happiness in marriage is dependent on satisfaction and satisfaction comes when our needs and desires are met. However, there is a difference between needs and desires. Fulfilled desires are gifts from God. Fulfilled needs are promises fulfilled by God. When a person learns to look to God for their needs and their desires to be fulfilled then they will find great satisfaction.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. Ecclesiastes 3:11-13

When a person understands that only God can give them satisfaction then they will learn to look to Him. He is the Creator and Giver of life and He loves to give to His children. He wants man to be satisfied in his marriage, his job and anything else that he undertakes.

The fear of the Lord leads to life, So that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil. Proverbs 19:23

And My people will be satisfied with My goodness,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 31:14b

The Lord is man’s provider and He will never disappoint those who put their trust in Him. He will take care of their needs and they will never lack. The Christian life is a life of faith and a child of God will see God’s provision after he or she will trust God. Man will never be able to satisfy another. There will be eventual disappointment. When one learns to give their expectations to the Lord and leave them with Him then peace and satisfaction will be the outcome. When someone learns to be satisfied in God then they will be grateful for what the Lord gives and they will understand that no one can make them happy but the Lord.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it. Psalm 37:3-5

A Life that Understands Meaning of “If only…”

Understanding the Meaning of “If only you had done this”

One of the aspects of getting older is seeing life in the past and seeing our mistakes. With the perspective of hindsight come regrets and pain. However, life does not have to be one of regrets. Not everyone has great regrets and the fewer regrets a person has the happier they will be. Life is made up of choices. Good choices bring happiness and bad choices bring pain. There is a book that tells us what the good choices are and how to avoid the pain of bad choices. Everyone should read this book before they make any choices and especially the very important choices. If a parent loves their child then they will teach their child what is in this book so that when the time comes they will make the right choices. The Lord is the One who wrote this book to help us and guide us through life. He loves us and gave us this book. However, He can not make us read and study it. We must make the decision that we will read, study and memorize it so that when the time comes to make decisions we will already know what to do.

“If only you had paid attention to My commandments! Then your well-being would have been like a river, And your righteousness like the waves of the sea. Isaiah 48:18

The Lord says to all of us, that if only we will pay attention to His commandments then our well being will never end, but flow continuously and our right decisions will be like the waves of the sea, which never stop. We will do what is right continually and our inner cup of joy and happiness will overflow. In other words, we will love life and live an incredible life. We will have the happiness that we long for and the love and respect that we need. This is the kind of life that the Lord wants for us. He has told us in His Word what we need to do in every area of life. If only…we will do it then we will thrive in life and we will be blessed in every area.

But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does. James 1:25

It is never too late to learn. If you have not been reading the Bible, God’s instruction manual for life, then begin today. Read it every morning when you get up and every evening before you go to bed. When a verse speaks to you then memorize it. If you will be faithful to do this and to do what it says then you will see changes in your life for the better. You will start to have great peace, quietness within and confidence when you make decisions. You will sleep better and not have so many doubts. You will truly be on the pathway of life.

And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.
Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places; Isaiah 32:17,18

A Life that Understands the Ripple Effect

The ripple effect is one of the most powerful forces for good and one of the most powerful forces for destruction. The ripple effect determines far more in your life than you realize. You are who you are in many ways due to the ripple effect but you also can change your destiny if you understand the ripple effect in your life and in the lives of others. The ripple effect is just what it says, “the action of others have a ripple effect in your life”. The closer you are to someone then the greater the ripple effect. If someone does what is right then you receive the good from their action but if someone does what is wrong then you receive the destruction from their action. The ripple effect goes on and on and reaches even those who are not even close to the person whose action begins the ripple effect, although the good or destruction lessens the further away from the good or bad decisions and actions. Just ask the children of broken homes and they fully understand the ripple effect. Broken homes not only destroy a family but they destroy a community, a city and even a nation. The strength of a nation is in the strength of its families. The strength of the family is in the strength of the father.

‘The Lord is slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generations.’ Numbers 14:18

When men are weak in character then a nation is weak. A man becomes weak in character when he seeks to put his strength in himself or any other source other than the only true source of strength and that is in the only One who never changes and who is true and faithful.

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, Psalm 84:5a

When a man puts his strength in the Lord and not in Himself then he becomes truly strong from within and it is expressed in his outward actions. A strong man will do what is right. He will not be swayed or influenced by weaker men and women. He will stand strong and his house will not be destroyed and his nation will be blessed. He learns to be strong in the Lord and in God’s strength he is able to stand firm and resist the forces of destruction. He learns to run from temptation rather than to give in. He becomes wise and is a guide to others. His children are protected and they feel loved and learn to trust and not be fearful. Those around him feel the ripple effect of his trust and strength in the Lord.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord. Jeremiah 17:7

The man whose strength is in anything but the Lord becomes weak. His life is destroyed in a matter of time. In the beginning he may seem to prosper but it is only a matter of time before he brings destruction upon himself and due to the ripple effect, he brings destruction on those closest to him and eventually to others.

Thus says the Lord,
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
And makes flesh his strength,
And whose heart turns away from the Lord. Jeremiah 17:5

He does not flee from temptation but gives in. He does not recognize the bad influence of others. He is not wise in his choices but foolish. The Bible describes the fool as one who lives as if there is no God. He may believe that there is a God but he lives as if there is not a God and forgets that one day he will have to give an accounting for his words, actions and life.

“I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind,
Even to give to each man according to his ways,
According to the results of his deeds.
“As a partridge that hatches eggs which it has not laid,
So is he who makes a fortune, but unjustly;
In the midst of his days it will forsake him,
And in the end he will be a fool.” Jeremiah 17:10,11

How easy it is to forget God. He can not be seen and in the pursuit of life we go our own way. We look for things that can be seen to put our trust in, whether it is money, power or people. We think that these will bring us security and deliver us in a day of trouble. They can not deliver us nor can they deliver those who we have hurt in our vain pursuits.

For deliverance by man is in vain. Psalm 60:11

The Lord is the only One who can deliver in time of trouble. If He is your strength and refuge then He will be your deliverer when you call upon Him in your time of trouble.

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

It is not a matter of if trouble comes but it is when trouble comes.

For man is born for trouble, As sparks fly upward. Job 5:7

When a person calls on the Lord then he is saved, not only from his present trouble but from the trouble that is to come. It is by faith that we call on the Lord Jesus Christ. The person who the Lord declares righteous is the one who calls on the Lord Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Savior. The righteous man lives by faith. He has not done what is right but he recognizes his need for the One who came and lived and did what was right and then died and rose again. The Lord Jesus Christ becomes the strength of the one who will put their trust in Him. He will be blessed and his children will be blessed. His community will be blessed and his nation will be blessed.

A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him. Proverbs 20:7

God is not mocked. He says in His Word that if a man seeks Him and surrenders His life to Him and does what He says then that man will be blessed. He will reap what he has sown and those around him will experience the good that comes from doing what is right. However, if he seeks to go his own way and do what pleases himself, then he will bring destruction on those around him. He will be doing what is wrong and the fruit of doing what is wrong is pain. He will bring pain to himself and those whom he “loves”. Of course, he does not love anyone but himself and in the end he does not even love himself for he brings on his own destruction. This man is cursed and brings curses to others, first to himself, then to those closest to him and then eventually to his nation.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7,8

The result of doing what is wrong is death. It is first death to the soul and then it is death to the body. We are the ones who choose our destiny, whether it is life or death. Our experience on earth is a taste of what is to come, whether it is eternal life, peace and happiness or eternal destruction, grief and punishment.

These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life. Matthew 25:46

God is a just God as well as a loving God and He has given the choice to each one of us, to choose life or death. Love is a choice. We can love God and others or we can love ourselves, which in itself is not even self love but self destruction. We can bring good to others or we can bring pain to others. One day we will have to face the choices that we have made and we will see the pain that we brought to ourselves and others. Today we can make the choice to turn to the Lord or we can choose to ignore Him and turn away. No matter how many wrong choices we have made it is not too late to turn to Jesus Christ. The Lord says that He meets the one who wants to do what is right.

You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness,
Who remembers You in Your ways. Isaiah 64:5

No matter how far from God a person has gotten, He still loves them and is still calling to them. Repent means to turn to God from our self and to put our trust in Him.

Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord; Acts 3:19

He will save you, He will guide you, He will become your God and lead you in the way you should go. He is the Good Shepherd who laid down His life for you.

I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. John 10:11

He invites all to come to Him. His ways are pleasant and He is good. He will lead you in the good way. He loves you unconditionally. He calls to you, right where you are and He knows and loves you today. You don’t need to fix your life first. He wants you just the way you are today. His love is incomprehensible and it is perfect. You don’t have to become good, for you can not, and our good will never outweigh our bad. He takes our bad and gives us His goodness. We are forgiven of all of our sins and He makes us right with God. All we need to do is come to Him and tell Him that we need Him to be our Lord and our Savior.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

The Lord is the only One who can stop the ripple effect in our lives. Jesus Christ won the victory over sin and death at the cross. No matter how much destruction you have experienced, because of Jesus Christ, you do not have to bring destruction to others. Apart from Jesus Christ, you will bring pain and destruction to your self and others. When a person recognizes their desperation for the One who not only saves us from ourselves but can also restore us and heal us from the ripple effect of others then they will come to Him. Jesus Christ is gentle and humble. He does not condemn us but He heals and restores us. He bore our griefs and sorrows. He was pierced through and crushed for our sins. Each of us has gone our own way but all of our sins fell on Jesus on the cross. If you have experienced pain in your life then come to Him and you will experience His healing, His comfort, His love and His restoration.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.
All of us like sheep have gone astray,
Each of us has turned to his own way;
But the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all
To fall on Him. Isaiah 53:4-6

A Life that Understands Why a Man Respects a Woman

Understanding a Woman’s Need for Respect

Women long for respect but many do not receive it. Respect is an aspect of love that says, “you are of great worth and worthy of honor”. Everyone wants respect and honor but few understand how to receive it. Love and respect are two of a woman’s biggest needs. They are both expressions of the same value, and that is, the worth of a person. Love and respect make a woman feel of great worth. When a woman does not receive respect and love then she starts to feel worthless. When she feels of less worth, then she makes poor decisions with bad consequences. A woman needs love and respect. A woman who fears God, which means that she lives a life respecting and honoring the Lord and doing what He says, is a woman who will be honored and respected.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Understanding the Nature of Respect

It is not charm and it is not beauty that causes a man to respect a woman. He may want to be with her temporarily because of her beauty and charm but if she is not a woman of godly character then he will not respect her nor desire to make a life commitment of marriage to her. In fact, if he is not of a good character then he may be tempted to use her and she will be exploited. Men respect a woman who is virtuous. A woman of virtue is not exploited by men. A virtuous woman is one who does not compromise what is right. There is a sense of what is right in our conscience. We may feel guilty the first time we violate our conscience but if we continue to go against our conscience then our conscience becomes hardened and it no longer seems wrong to us. This pattern continues and before long we are living a compromised life. The outcome of a compromised life is that men will no longer show respect for the one who has compromised. Not only will men lose respect for women who compromise but they will soon walk all over them.

You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13

Understand How Respect and Honor Can Be Regained

A woman loses her freshness or saltiness when she compromises and violates her conscience. The word “violate” means to change. When a woman’s conscience is violated then she is changed. A man is not showing love and respect for any woman who he wants to become physically intimate with before marriage. He is loving himself and it is not love for her but it is lust for her. Any man who has sex with a woman before marriage is violating and using her. When a man uses and violates the woman then she is changed. She no longer feels worthy of the very honor, love and respect that she longs for and it now eludes her. She feels “worth-less”. Is she worth less than before? No, for she is of great worth to the Lord Jesus Christ. He loves her for who she is now and not merely for who she was or who she will become. Jesus Christ loves her for exactly who she is now, no matter how much she has compromised or been violated. If she will come to the Lord Jesus Christ and tell Him that she needs Him and that she wants to belong to Him then He will restore her worth. He is the only One who can change her into the beautiful woman she longs to be and give her the honor and respect that she longs for. He is God and He is able to restore her worth. She is worth so much to Him that He died for her. Come to Jesus Christ if you have compromised or been violated and let Him make you into a new creation of great value and worth.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17

A Life that Understands Who Rules Your Husband

Understanding that Every Man Has One Who Is His Ruler

No man is a law unto himself but every man has One over him who is his head and rules him. The sooner a man recognizes who his Ruler is and submits himself to his Ruler’s laws then the happier he will be. The Lord made every man to be a king but the Lord says that He is the Ruler of the kings of the earth. No matter how much honor, position, rank and authority that a man is given in this life there is still One who rules over him and is his authority. The Lord Jesus Christ is Ruler over every man and He is the head of every family. Someone may well ask, “What if the man does not recognize the Lord Jesus Christ as his authority and ruler?” The answer to that question is that Jesus Christ is the Head of every man and home and whether a man or husband recognizes the Lordship, authority and rule of Jesus Christ, it does not change the fact that Jesus Christ is Lord of all. A man will be miserable and have sorrow in one form or another if he does not submit to Jesus Christ. He will have even greater misery if he mistreats his wife or his children. If a wife or child has put their trust in Jesus Christ and is being mistreated by their husband or father and cries out to the Lord Jesus Christ then the Lord will come and protect them. The Lord is ultimately the One whom we trust and He is very effective in dealing with an unruly husband or father. A wife who trusts in the Lord can submit to her husband because God is greater than her husband and promises to exercise His power in dealing with her husband if her husband does not love her and live with her in an understanding manner.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:22-25

But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. I Corinthians 11:3

Understanding What Both Husband and Wife Need to Do

There is an order of authority in the home. It is for our protection and provision. A person under authority can always go to the one who is their authority for protection and provision. With authority comes responsibility. The higher the authority then the greater the responsibility. The Lord is the final authority of which we are all under. However, His provision comes through the one whom He has given the responsibility to. Jesus loved His own who were in the world and He loved them to the end. The Lord has called the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial expression of love. This means that he is to die to himself and his desires in order to love his wife the way she needs to be loved. He is to live with her in an understanding manner. The Lord meets the one who wants to do life right and the Lord will teach the husband how to love his wife and when he becomes a father then the Lord will teach him how to love his children. In a similar way, a woman is to look to the Lord and He will teach her how, as a wife, she is to respect her husband and submit to him and as a mother, how she is to love her children. This is much easier to do if her husband loves her. The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother with a Christlike love. The greatest thing a mother can do for her children is to respect and honor their father. When children grow up in a loving home where the parents love the Lord and love each other then the children will learn to love and respect others also. The children will feel loved because when parents love each other then they will love their children. A person’s relationship with their spouse is an expression of their relationship with the Lord. Do not say that you love God if you do not love your spouse and your children.

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. I John 4:20

If you want to see the Lord act on your behalf then you must do what He says. He will protect you and He will very severely deal with your husband if he is not treating you right. If you are under God’s authority, which means, that you must live under your husband’s authority and submit to him then the Lord will act on your behalf. The Lord says that He will not hear a man’s prayers if the man does not love his wife and treat her right. The Lord says that He will not accept the husband’s worship if he mistreats his wife. The Lord says that if a man does not provide for his family then he is worse than an unbeliever, who will spend eternity in hell. The Lord says that there are some serious consequences for the husband and father who does fulfill his God given responsibilities. However, the wife and the children will not see God’s love unless they are doing what they ought to be doing. The Lord is the head of every man and the husband is the head of his wife and children. The wife needs to submit to the husband and the children need to obey their father. When they are submissive and obedient to the Lord then they need to cry out to the Lord if there is anything wrong. He will hear their cries to Him and answer them.

For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. I Peter 3:5-7

“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:13-14

A Life that Understands that Your Husband is a King

Understanding God’s Design for a Man to Be a King

The Lord made every man to be a king. A king is a ruler and God made men to conquer and rule. A man needs a queen to share in his kingdom. The most important decision that a man makes, other than where he will spend eternity, is who will be his queen. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband. If he chooses an excellent wife then he will have far more advantages in life to conquer and rule. An excellent wife will be a wife that he can trust. She will only do him good and will not cause him grief. She will have his best interests in her mind and do what is right. She will give him honor. An excellent wife will not seek to get her own way but she will seek to do her husband’s will. She will not manipulate him or keep secrets from him, such as, how she spends money, where she goes and who she talks to. She will not talk about his struggles, weaknesses or faults with other women (not even with her mother). She will not correspond with other men. Her husband will be able to trust her completely and he will be able to delegate responsibilities to her. He will listen to her advice for she will have his best interests at heart and not have ulterior self-seeking motives. She will understand that a children’s glory is their father and she will teach their children to honor their father and she will not ever criticize him to their children. She will not ever say, “don’t tell your father”. If there is a question as to what to do, then she will say, “let us ask your father” and if he is not available then she will know her husband well enough to know what he would want them to do. An excellent wife will recognize her husband’s right to rule.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4

Understanding How a Man Becomes a King

A man first learns to rule well by ruling his wife. This is not a bad thing but it is a good thing because it is her protection. She was deceived in the garden by the Serpent’s beauty and charm. She is still easily deceived. God made husband and wife to be joint rulers and she is also a ruler but her husband rules over her. God rules over the husband. If she will trust God then she can learn to trust God through her husband. The Lord will protect her from harm if she will trust the Lord. The Lord’s provision for protection for females is first their father and then their husband. They must stay under their God given authority. If they get out from or go against their God given authority then it is only a matter of time before they will be violated. After a man rules his wife then he rules his children. An excellent wife helps him to be king in their home. She teaches her children to obey their father, not only through her words, but through her example. When a man rules well in his household then he believes he can conquer in the world. He can face each day with confidence.

To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

Men are very different from women, not only physically, but psychologically. When a man is pleased with a woman then he will give up to half of his kingdom. He wants a queen who will share in his glory. He is looking for a trustworthy woman to love and one whom can give himself to and all that he has. If you become that excellent wife then you will have no regrets. Your husband and children will praise you and your works will praise you also. You will be a success and your husband will be a success also.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates. Proverbs 31:28-31

A Life that Understands the Need to Be Wise

Understand the Source of Wisdom

The Bible says that if a person is wise then they will experience the wonderful and sweet fruit of wisdom, which is love, purity, peace, gentleness, mercy, knowledge, honor, riches and life. However, if a person is not wise then they will experience the bitter fruit of not being wise, which is a broken heart, jealousy, envy, much grief, regret, guilt, shame, loneliness, bitterness, ignorance, a hard life, dishonor and death. There is nothing that can compare to wisdom. Wisdom gives life to life and keeps a person from experiencing the snares of death. Wisdom is available to all and whoever finds it loves his own soul. He who does not find wisdom neglects himself and brings grief to himself. Wisdom is more valuable than riches, honor, and power, for without wisdom all of these other things can destroy a person. A person may gain the whole world but without wisdom then he will never be satisfied and will only want more. Wisdom is a gift that comes from God. A person who is not a Christian can read God’s Word, which is the Bible, and receive knowledge but not wisdom. Wisdom is the illumination of knowledge to know what to do for a desired good result. Many people want wisdom without God but wisdom only comes from God. A nonChristian can only have knowledge and knowledge usually makes arrogant. It is when we humble ourselves before God that He will give us wisdom. Wisdom is necessary for true success. The success of the world will ultimately destroy a person if he does not get wisdom. It is only the Lord that gives riches, honor, power, etc. without sorrow.

Blessed is a person who finds wisdom,
And one who obtains understanding.
For her profit is better than the profit of silver,
And her produce better than gold.
She is more precious than jewels,
And nothing you desire compares with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
In her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways,
And all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are those who hold on to her. Proverbs 3:13-18

Understand that Wisdom Is the Instruction for Life

Wisdom belongs to the Lord, who is the author of life. Wisdom is how to live life right so that you will be successful and experience great joy and gladness. Wisdom is protection from pain and wisdom is instruction on how to gain what is good. Most people ultimately learn wisdom from either experiencing the pain that comes from not doing wisdom or they experience the happiness that comes from doing wisdom. Wisdom is how to do life right. We recognize when life is done right but often we do not know how to do it for ourselves. We can see if someone has a good marriage but often we don’t know what to do to have a good marriage. We can see if another’s children are excelling in life but often we struggle with getting our child to do well. Wisdom is not elusive to the one who seeks God. The one who does not seek the Lord will not ever find wisdom. He may find knowledge but he will not receive wisdom. He will only know the pain in his heart of not doing wisdom. Wisdom belongs to the Lord and He gives it to those who know Him. The knowledge of God is understanding and the one who has understanding will also have wisdom.

Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding, But in the heart of fools it is made known. Proverbs 14:33

If you will only ask the Lord for wisdom then He will give it to you. It is one of the few promises that the Lord gives to all, to whoever will ask Him for wisdom, that He will give it and give it generously. The Lord wants to help you. The Lord loves you. He is waiting for us to come to Him. If you are struggling in an area then go to Him and ask Him for wisdom.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Get wisdom. Humble yourself before the Lord and acknowledge Jesus Christ as the source of true wisdom. You will be glad. Scoffing is turning our back on the Lord and on His ways. When we act according to our understanding or the bad counsel of others then we are the ones who suffer. God does not delight in your pain but He delights in the one who comes to Him, even if it is to avoid pain. Taste and see that the Lord is good. It is the kindness of God that leads us to repent of following our own thoughts and wanting to go our own ways. He loves you and His ways are good and kind.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

A Life that Understands Blueprint for Marriage

Understand that There is a Blueprint for Marriage

God’s blueprint for marriage is perfect. God’s blueprint for marriage is right. Another word for God’s way in marriage is righteousness. Where there is righteousness then there will be peace, quietness and confidence. When these qualities are not present in a relationship then that is an indication that something is not being done right. Go back to the blueprint. Look at the blueprint for before marriage and the blueprint for after marriage. Some things that are wrong before marriage are right after marriage and some other things that are right before marriage are wrong after marriage. It is wrong for a girl to submit to a guy before marriage and it is wrong for her to not submit after marriage. (A girl is to obey her father before marriage and after marriage she is to submit to her husband). It is wrong for a girl and boy to know each other physically before marriage and it is wrong to withhold the physical after marriage. (Love must rule and both the spouses must be considerate of each other. There are also times when the sexual aspect should not be experienced, such as during a woman’s time of month and around six weeks after she has a baby. The length of time is in the Bible, it differs for a girl baby and a boy baby.) There is a time and place for everything. Many marriage problems are because the relationship was not done right before marriage and the couple reaps the bad fruit in the marriage. Other marriage problems are because the blueprint was not followed after marriage due to ignorance about God’s ways. God created man and woman equal. There is equality in marriage but there is also an order for the good and protection of the woman. There are also different responsibilities that come with the different positions. There are many things that are not mentioned and if it is not defined in the Bible, then it does not matter which spouse does it. For example, there is no mention of cooking, changing diapers, etc. nor is it wrong for the wife to work, etc. as long as her responsibilities in the home are attended to properly. Again, if life is not being done right, then there will not be peace, quietness or confidence. If each spouse is in a right relationship with God then the good fruit of love, joy and peace will be seen in their marriage. If a marriage is done right then there will be the good fruit in the children of good manners (respect towards others), good behavior and a love for the Lord. If a family is done right, then that family will have the good fruit of love for others and will be a blessing and light to the world. (These are also the qualifications of a leader.)

By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong,
And a person of knowledge increases power.
For by wise guidance you will wage war,
And in an abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:3-6

Understand Destruction that Comes From No Blueprint in Marriage

Much time is spent in planning a wedding but much more time needs to be spent in planning the marriage. Plan and take care of your marriage and God will use your marriage to take care of you. It is not good for man to be alone and God designed marriage for people so that they would not be alone. Woe to one who falls and there is not one who loves them to pick them up. We need someone in our lives to love and to love us. We need someone who we can trust and who will be there during times of better or worse. When there are children we need parents to raise them and not a single parent or no parent. God’s plan from the beginning was good and it was loving. God’s plan still is good and it is still loving but we must follow His plan to experience that love and His goodness. Read God’s Word and do it. The Lord has much to say about the time in a relationship before marriage and how to prepare for marriage and much to say about marriage. Nearly everything that is in the world about marriage is either a lie or a truth mixed with lies. God is not a God of confusion. If you seek Him then you will find Him, if you seek Him with all of your heart. He is light and in Him you will see light. He will show you what you need to do each step of the way.

“Now why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when there was a flood, the river burst against that house and yet it could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation; and the river burst against it and it immediately collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49

Now is the time to build your life on the Lord and His Words. When the storm comes then it is too late to build. Not everyone who calls Jesus Lord belongs to Him. Jesus Christ is only your Lord if you do what He says. Act on what He says and then you will often understand it. Do not wait to understand it and then act on it. That is not faith. Faith is trusting the Lord in what He says and doing it. Faith is building your life on His Word. When you live this way then you will not be confused and He will help you and guide you. The Lord meets the one who delights in living according to God’s ways. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed.

A Life that Understands Marriage Needs a Builder

Understand that a Marriage Needs a Master Builder

Just as with any aspect of creation, to understand it, we must go to the creator. To understand a work of art, it helps to know the artist. To fully comprehend the building plans we must know the builder. The Lord is the One who created marriage. Marriage is a beautiful picture of God’s love and He gave us a building plan for His design for marriage. If marriage is done right then it is the most wonderful, fulfilling, exciting, loving and joyful experience on earth. It truly can be heaven on earth, but only if it is done God’s way. Just as He gave us a blueprint for marriage, He also said that if we would allow Him, then He would build our marriage. The Lord is a wonderful Master Builder, who does all things well. We will experience His wonder, His love, His glory, His wisdom, His power, His riches and His peace if we let Him build, not only our lives, but our relationships and marriage. He is good and His ways are perfect.

Unless the Lord builds a house, They who build it labor in vain; Psalm 127:1a

Understand the Devastation and Destruction that Comes with No Master Builder

There is such a tendency to think that we “can do it”. That is nothing but pride. We can only do what is right by God’s grace. The Lord is the only One who has done life right and it is only when we come to Him, in humility, will we learn His righteousness, which is “doing life right”. When we do life and marriage right then there will be love, joy and peace. When we don’t do life right then there will not be any peace, quietness or confidence.

Woe to him who builds his house without righteousness, Jeremiah 22:13a

There are so many lies out in the world about marriage. Some people say that there can not be a loving marriage or that people who love each other do not have to get married. They are right, no one has to “get married” but the love will not last. No one has to choose the Lord or walk in His ways. Love is a choice and the Lord does not force anyone to choose Him or to follow His ways. However, the Lord is not mocked. God’s ways are true and He is faithful. If you want life, love and peace then you must follow the One who is life, love and peace and who gives life, love and peace to those who belong to Him. If you listen to lies then you will respond to lies. If you respond to a lie then your response will always be wrong. The first thing you need to do is listen to the truth. The truth can be found in God’s Word. Know the Lord and know His Word. You can learn His Word a little by little and as you do so then you will grow in Him and in His love. You will learn to do what is right and your life will soon take on a much greater meaning and you will find much fulfillment in life. Your life and marriage will be blessed and you will have great joy and much love. You will be blessed and you will be a blessing.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7