Understand that There is a Blueprint for Marriage
God’s blueprint for marriage is perfect. God’s blueprint for marriage is right. Another word for God’s way in marriage is righteousness. Where there is righteousness then there will be peace, quietness and confidence. When these qualities are not present in a relationship then that is an indication that something is not being done right. Go back to the blueprint. Look at the blueprint for before marriage and the blueprint for after marriage. Some things that are wrong before marriage are right after marriage and some other things that are right before marriage are wrong after marriage. It is wrong for a girl to submit to a guy before marriage and it is wrong for her to not submit after marriage. (A girl is to obey her father before marriage and after marriage she is to submit to her husband). It is wrong for a girl and boy to know each other physically before marriage and it is wrong to withhold the physical after marriage. (Love must rule and both the spouses must be considerate of each other. There are also times when the sexual aspect should not be experienced, such as during a woman’s time of month and around six weeks after she has a baby. The length of time is in the Bible, it differs for a girl baby and a boy baby.) There is a time and place for everything. Many marriage problems are because the relationship was not done right before marriage and the couple reaps the bad fruit in the marriage. Other marriage problems are because the blueprint was not followed after marriage due to ignorance about God’s ways. God created man and woman equal. There is equality in marriage but there is also an order for the good and protection of the woman. There are also different responsibilities that come with the different positions. There are many things that are not mentioned and if it is not defined in the Bible, then it does not matter which spouse does it. For example, there is no mention of cooking, changing diapers, etc. nor is it wrong for the wife to work, etc. as long as her responsibilities in the home are attended to properly. Again, if life is not being done right, then there will not be peace, quietness or confidence. If each spouse is in a right relationship with God then the good fruit of love, joy and peace will be seen in their marriage. If a marriage is done right then there will be the good fruit in the children of good manners (respect towards others), good behavior and a love for the Lord. If a family is done right, then that family will have the good fruit of love for others and will be a blessing and light to the world. (These are also the qualifications of a leader.)
By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong,
And a person of knowledge increases power.
For by wise guidance you will wage war,
And in an abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:3-6
Understand Destruction that Comes From No Blueprint in Marriage
Much time is spent in planning a wedding but much more time needs to be spent in planning the marriage. Plan and take care of your marriage and God will use your marriage to take care of you. It is not good for man to be alone and God designed marriage for people so that they would not be alone. Woe to one who falls and there is not one who loves them to pick them up. We need someone in our lives to love and to love us. We need someone who we can trust and who will be there during times of better or worse. When there are children we need parents to raise them and not a single parent or no parent. God’s plan from the beginning was good and it was loving. God’s plan still is good and it is still loving but we must follow His plan to experience that love and His goodness. Read God’s Word and do it. The Lord has much to say about the time in a relationship before marriage and how to prepare for marriage and much to say about marriage. Nearly everything that is in the world about marriage is either a lie or a truth mixed with lies. God is not a God of confusion. If you seek Him then you will find Him, if you seek Him with all of your heart. He is light and in Him you will see light. He will show you what you need to do each step of the way.
“Now why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when there was a flood, the river burst against that house and yet it could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation; and the river burst against it and it immediately collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49
Now is the time to build your life on the Lord and His Words. When the storm comes then it is too late to build. Not everyone who calls Jesus Lord belongs to Him. Jesus Christ is only your Lord if you do what He says. Act on what He says and then you will often understand it. Do not wait to understand it and then act on it. That is not faith. Faith is trusting the Lord in what He says and doing it. Faith is building your life on His Word. When you live this way then you will not be confused and He will help you and guide you. The Lord meets the one who delights in living according to God’s ways. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed.