A Life that Understands Marriage Needs a Builder

Understand that a Marriage Needs a Master Builder

Just as with any aspect of creation, to understand it, we must go to the creator. To understand a work of art, it helps to know the artist. To fully comprehend the building plans we must know the builder. The Lord is the One who created marriage. Marriage is a beautiful picture of God’s love and He gave us a building plan for His design for marriage. If marriage is done right then it is the most wonderful, fulfilling, exciting, loving and joyful experience on earth. It truly can be heaven on earth, but only if it is done God’s way. Just as He gave us a blueprint for marriage, He also said that if we would allow Him, then He would build our marriage. The Lord is a wonderful Master Builder, who does all things well. We will experience His wonder, His love, His glory, His wisdom, His power, His riches and His peace if we let Him build, not only our lives, but our relationships and marriage. He is good and His ways are perfect.

Unless the Lord builds a house, They who build it labor in vain; Psalm 127:1a

Understand the Devastation and Destruction that Comes with No Master Builder

There is such a tendency to think that we “can do it”. That is nothing but pride. We can only do what is right by God’s grace. The Lord is the only One who has done life right and it is only when we come to Him, in humility, will we learn His righteousness, which is “doing life right”. When we do life and marriage right then there will be love, joy and peace. When we don’t do life right then there will not be any peace, quietness or confidence.

Woe to him who builds his house without righteousness, Jeremiah 22:13a

There are so many lies out in the world about marriage. Some people say that there can not be a loving marriage or that people who love each other do not have to get married. They are right, no one has to “get married” but the love will not last. No one has to choose the Lord or walk in His ways. Love is a choice and the Lord does not force anyone to choose Him or to follow His ways. However, the Lord is not mocked. God’s ways are true and He is faithful. If you want life, love and peace then you must follow the One who is life, love and peace and who gives life, love and peace to those who belong to Him. If you listen to lies then you will respond to lies. If you respond to a lie then your response will always be wrong. The first thing you need to do is listen to the truth. The truth can be found in God’s Word. Know the Lord and know His Word. You can learn His Word a little by little and as you do so then you will grow in Him and in His love. You will learn to do what is right and your life will soon take on a much greater meaning and you will find much fulfillment in life. Your life and marriage will be blessed and you will have great joy and much love. You will be blessed and you will be a blessing.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. Proverbs 3:5-7

A Life that Is Loved Unconditionally

You are far more loved than you will ever fully realize but if you do not know this unconditional love for you then you will live as if you were not loved at all, for you will realize that most of the love that people have for us is conditional. It is based on how smart we are, how well we do in school, how pretty we are, if we do not shame our family or friends and basically how proud we make others feel or what we have to offer to them. It is based on our performance or physical or mental assets. However, all of us know in our heart that we can not perform forever, that we will not always be smart or pretty and also, that what we have to offer to others will one day fail.

I Corinthians 13:8a Love never fails

Love is the one thing that all of us long for deep within our hearts. We wonder if there is anyone who will love us just the way we are, with all of our faults, including our past failures, present failures and future failures. There is only One who can and does love us with the love we long for. His love will never fail for He is love.

I Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

You can read this as, “Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind and is not jealous, Jesus does not brag and is not arrogant nor does He act unbecomingly. Jesus is not selfish or gets angry easily. Jesus does not remember your sins. Jesus is not glad when you do wrong because He knows that you will suffer. Jesus is happy when you live in the truth so that you will prosper. However, even when you fail, Jesus bears all things (including your failures), Jesus believes all things (that are good about you), Jesus hopes all things (when you have no hope for yourself) and Jesus endures all things (when you want to give up) because Jesus does not give up on you.” He is the only One who will never fail you because He is love.

Isaiah 43:4a “Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,

Jesus sees you as precious to Him, He honors you and He loves you. He is love.

I John 4:7-11 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

God is love and His love was made known to the world through Jesus Christ. You will never be able to love others with God’s love until you know His love. You will never know His love until you know the love of Jesus Christ for you. You will never know the love of Jesus until you receive and believe what He did for you on the cross and that was that He died for you and was the propitiation for your sins. What propitiation means, is that Jesus Christ took the punishment for your sins so that you might experience God’s love for you forever.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

For God so loved you that He gave His only begotten Son to die for you so that if you will believe in Jesus you will live in His love forever and you will not receive the punishment for your sins that you deserve, because Jesus took it on the cross when He died for you.

Have you experienced this love? Have you received and believed the love that God had for you by taking your punishment on the cross?

 

 

 

A Life that Understands Marriage Needs Foundation

Understand that a Marriage Needs a Solid Foundation

Love and marriage does not just happen but it needs to be built. Just as anything that is built to last must have the right foundation, so it is with love and marriage. If the love relationship in marriage is to last through the storms of life then it must be built on the right foundation. The storms will come and will test the love and the marriage. If the relationship is built on the right foundation then you need not fear. Testing always reveals the weaknesses, so during the storms things might seem sometimes fragile, do not fear, but be faithful and the storm will soon pass.

For no one can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:11

Understand You Responsibility In Building Your Marriage

Jesus Christ and His Word is the only foundation that will stand the trials of life. Every marriage will be tried and tested through the storms that come it’s way. If the marriage is built on the Lord then He will cause it to stand. We are weak but He is strong and He is faithful. Read, meditate on and study God’s Word and do according to all that is written in it and then your marriage will be successful. God’s grace is getting up after falling down and not losing our desire or the power to do life right, which is according to God’s Word. Though a Christian may fall, the Lord lifts him up and holds his hand. If you fall or fail, then get back up and do it right. Marriage is humbling but it is a good humbling because when we truly love someone then we want to change. Marriage may reveal how little we love someone else and generally we find that the one we want to love more than our spouse is ourselves. Marriage reveals our selfishness but the Lord wants to make us like Him, who was not selfish at all, but loved to the end. Jesus was faithful to love and to consider others more important than himself.

But each person must be careful how he builds on it. I Corinthians 3:10b

Understand that you are either building your marriage or you are tearing it down. A marriage is built day by day. To build a marriage right then you must be faithful every day to do what is right, even when you do not feel like it. If you build your love and marriage on God’s Word then you will receive great comfort and love the rest of your life. If you do not build it on God’s Word then you will receive much grief and heartache. The Lord gives us everything we need to build our marriage on the right foundation, which is Jesus Christ. He also gives us what we need to build it where it will stand through the storms and be a comfort, support and refuge throughout our lives. Get help from others. Go to women who have a successful marriage and ask them what they have done. The Lord provides older women to help younger women. Ask the Lord to help you. The Lord delights in helping those who want to do it right and who ask Him for help.

The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

The only way that a person can have the right foundation in marriage is if they have the right foundation in their own life. If you have not given your life to Jesus Christ, to follow Him and love Him, then you can do that today. He will come into your life and He will start rebuilding your life the way it needs to be. He gives a person not only a new foundation, but a new start. He takes the bad and gives the good. He knows what you need and He will fulfill you and be your Good Shepherd. He loves you and if you will trust Him then He will teach you and lead you in the right way. Not only will your marriage be able to stand but your life will stand through the storms. He will give you peace, joy and great love.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. Revelation 3:20

A Life that Lives to the Fullest

Do you really want to live life to the fullest. Life is so sweet when done right that you will truly feel as though you ride on the heights of the earth and the Lord says that you can if you will live according to His ways. He is life and came that you might have life to the fullest.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

If you are not having an abundant life but feeling as though your cup is half empty or that others have gotten what you want and so you have feelings of frustration and disappointment then why don’t you try living according to what the Lord says. It is certainly worth a try if “your way” has not worked out. He came to give you an abundant and overflowing life. A life that is filled with gratitude and gladness, which is another word for happiness. Joy comes from the presence of the Lord and we can have joy no matter what the circumstances if we live in His presence but gladness is altogether different. Gladness is that feeling in your heart of being excited and happy. It is not just an emotion but a confidence that all will work out. It is the feeling that you had in school when you knew that you had studied hard for a test and were confident that you would do well. That is what gladness is in life. It is a confidence, peace and a great feeling within your soul. It is happiness.

Hebrews 1:9 You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.”

This verse is what was written of Jesus. He was happier than all of His companions and those around Him. If you think that Jesus went around sad then you are sadly mistaken. He lived life to the fullest here on earth and wants to teach you the same.

Psalm 25:9b And He teaches the humble His way.

When you learn to live according to God’s ways then you will ride on the heights of the earth. Take God’s Word, the Bible, and open it up and start asking the Lord to teach you His ways about everything in life.

Isaiah 58:14 Then you will take delight in the Lord,
And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

His ways are sweet and they are good for you. His promises are the land of milk and honey. He wants you live on His promises and trust Him. You will see His love in a thousand different ways and you will live life to the fullest.

 

 

 

 

A Life that Understands Importance of Gratitude

One of the characteristics of being in love and staying in love is gratitude. Thankfulness is the expression of gratitude and gratitude is remembering the love and kindness that has been shown to you. If anyone loves another then there should be an expression of gratitude. Any act of kindness is a tangible expression of love and the giving of thanks is the least that the recipient of love can give in return. The Bible says that thankfulness was in the garden of Eden and the Bible says that the ungodly do not give thanks. Giving thanks is giving honor and respect and the lack of thankfulness is selfcenteredness and disrespect. Gratefulness is a character quality of a great person, a great friend and a great spouse. Gratefulness is a character quality of a person who knows and walks with God. Thanksgiving is expressing gratefulness and will be seen in any love relationship, whether it is a person’s love relationship with God, their love relationship in a marriage, the love in friendships and the love relationships in families.

…like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in her, Thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3

God is love and He shows His love all of the time to mankind, to the righteous and the wicked. The least a person can do is thank God for His mercies. He sends rain on the good and the evil and He also causes His sun to shine on the good and the evil. He sets the boundaries for the ocean and has fixed the order of the seasons. Becoming a grateful person begins with remembering God’s love towards us. He promised that He would never flood the earth again. He has told us over and over again that we do not need to fear if we trust Him. We do not need to fear the negative opinions of the world. The climate can not change apart from God and no plague can “wipe out” the population of any nation nothing is out of God’s control. God is loving and no evil dwells with Him. We can believe in Jesus Christ and live in His love or we can choose not to believe in Jesus Christ and we will not see His love. He shows His love towards His children more than a thousand different ways and His children are forever grateful for His many acts of love because of His greatest expression of love and that is Jesus Christ going to the cross to die for our sins. When we experience God’s love we want to thank Him. When we cease to thank Him then we have forgotten His great love.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

In a similar way, when we cease to thank our spouse for their love then we have forgotten all that has been shown to us by another. When we do not thank our parents for their love then we have forgotten the sacrifices they have made to give to us. When we do not thank our friends for their kindness in being our friend then we are again ungrateful and when we are ungrateful in anything then more than ever we are undeserving. As a person matures they realize that nothing should be taken for granted. All that we have is a gift from God, whether it is being called His child, having parents who love us, friends who we can count on, a spouse who is faithful and loving or whatever good relationships that we have been given. They are all an expression of His kindness to us. If you are grateful for what the Lord has done in your life then express your gratitude by giving thanks to those who love you.

For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, Romans 1:21a

Do not marry an ungrateful person unless you want to miserable your entire life and do not be an ungrateful spouse unless you want to make your marriage partner miserable. Marry someone who is thankful and that person will appreciate you and your love for them. If you want to bring joy to your spouse then be a grateful person. Let not a day go by without saying thanks to someone for what they have done. Most important of all, do not let a day go by without giving thanks to God for sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to the cross so that your sins and ungratefulness might be forgiven. Before we knew God, we were all ungrateful and selfish. It is only God’s love that can change us and change the world. When God’s love softens our hearts then we want to thank Him. It is our hardness of heart and pride that refuses to give thanks.

A Life that Does Not Fear

Over three hundred times it says in the Bible “do not fear”. The Lord knows how fearful we tend to be and He does not want us to be afraid of anything. If we will learn to fear Him, which means to have an awesome respect for and obedience to, since all power belongs to Him and He is worthy to be feared by all of creation then we will not fear anything else. If you do not have that healthy fear of God then you need to for He is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

Matthew 10:28 Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

If you do fear Him then you have no need to fear anyone or anything for He is with you.

Isaiah 41:10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

How do you know if you fear Him or fear man? If you confess Jesus Christ as Lord before others then you fear the Lord but if you are ashamed of Him and His name then you fear man. If you obey Him and take a stand for what is in the Bible then you fear Him. If you lead a double life then you do not fear God, rather you fear man.

Matthew 10:32,33 “Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.

If you fear man then not only will the Lord deny ever knowing you but you will have a snare in your life and will have allowed man to control you. Man will control your thoughts, for you will be anxious as to what man thinks of you and/or whether you have their approval, or man will control your actions and you will compromise what you know is the right thing to do for the approval of man. What a horrible life!

Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare,
But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted.

Do not ever fear what people say about you or be discouraged if you are doing what the Lord wants you to do.

Isaiah 51:7,8 “Listen to Me, you who know righteousness,
A people in whose heart is My law;
Do not fear the reproach of man,
Nor be dismayed at their revilings.
“For the moth will eat them like a garment,
And the grub will eat them like wool.
But My righteousness will be forever,
And My salvation to all generations.”

In fact, it may be a confirmation that you are doing and saying the right thing. You are in good company if you are insulted, reviled or persecuted for righteousness for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:11,12 “Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

There is a list of many things the Lord says not to fear but to sum it up, some of His last words to His disciples and these words are to us as well, are not to be fearful. Fear and peace can not be in someone at the same time. You will either have His peace or you will fear.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

He gave us His peace and He wants His peace to rule in our hearts.

Colossians 3:15a Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,

The Lord wants us to be faithful to the end. We do not have to fear suffering for He came and suffered for us leaving us an example to follow in His footsteps.

I Peter 2:21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

We do not have to fear death for He conquered death through the cross.

Revelation 2:10 Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Don’t shrink away in shame or fear. Those who are faithful to the end will have a great reward and He will give them the crown of life. Those who shrink away in shame will have more shame when He comes and He will have no delight in them. Be faithful until death!

Hebrews 10:35-39 Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. For yet in a very little while,
He who is coming will come, and will not delay.
But My righteous one shall live by faith;
And if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul.

The only way that we can be faithful until death is if we abide in Him.

I John 2:28 Now, little children, abide in Him, so that when He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming.

A Life that Understands Importance of Response

Understanding A Woman’s Response

When the Lord God made a woman for the man He said that He would make one who corresponded to the man. Cor means heart so correspond means to respond to a person’s heart. When a man marries a woman then he gives his heart to her. A woman’s response is one of the most important ways of communication in a relationship. Both men and women often feel clueless when it comes to understanding the other gender. Men and women need each other and need to understand one another. Just as a female takes her cue from a man initiating towards her so the man takes his cues from a woman’s responses. A man marries a girl that he loves because of her response. Her response lets him know that she wants to see him and wants to be with him. One of the most beautiful responses to a man is the smile of the woman he loves because it communicates to him that she is happy. He longs to please her and longs for her to want him as much as he loves her. A man asks a lady to marry him because he is hoping that her response will be yes. Her responses up to that question have given him reason to believe that the relationship is mutual. A man is looking for a woman whom he can give his heart, love and life to and when he asks a girl to marry him then he is bestowing on her the greatest honor. A man only plans to marry once and when he does then he is all in. He wants to believe that she will never change because he has no intention of ever changing. His desire to marry her and to love her is a commitment of his life.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding What Keeps a Marriage Alive and Vibrant

A woman gets married in faith believing that, what the man who is now her husband, promised her will be true, that he loves her and will love her “until death do they part”. She wants to believe it but there will come a time when she will not always “feel” loved. A man has to learn how to love his wife. Every woman is different and what made his mother or sister or even another woman feel loved is not always what will make his wife feel loved. Men try to do the right thing but it is a learning process and they must learn to live with their wife in an understanding and loving manner. They have to learn what she needs and they have to learn what her “love language is”. A man learns through his wife’s responses of what she likes and what she does not like. It is crucial that she continues to respond to her husband. When a woman quits responding then a man quits initiating. He feels like giving up because there is “nothing” that can please her and make her happy. There is nothing more distressing to a husband than an unhappy wife and it is communicated through her lack of response. A man will never leave his wife except for another woman who he believes that he can make happy. If your husband hurts you then most likely he is not aware of it. A wise woman will let her husband know what she likes by responding to his love for her. A response needs to be with the whole person. She needs to be excited to see him when they have been away from each other. She needs to want him and respond to him when he initiates intimacy. A man generally can be intimate anytime and so if she responds or lets him know when she “feels” like it or is in the mood then his “love cup” will be full and he will be more understanding of when she needs to sleep, etc. A marriage is a give and give relationship. Both the man and the woman need to give and in giving to each other they will both be fulfilled. The man needs to give through initiating and the woman needs to give through responding. A woman will not leave a man who loves her just as a man will not leave a wife who wants him. It is when the marriage starts to die through a lack of initiation and responding that temptations come. A man needs physical intimacy and a woman needs emotional intimacy. It is a mature couple who learns to give to the other what they need even when they do not feel like giving. The grass is not greener on the other side but the grass is greener where it is watered.

The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered. Proverbs 11:25

When a woman is hurt and closes off her spirit to her husband then she is no longer responding and it confuses the man. It sends conflicting messages and he does not know how to initiate. Explain to your husband why you are hurt but not in an accusatory way. Believe the best in him that he was not aware of hurting you. Communicate with him. A man longs to do it right but sometimes misses it. A wife can help her husband learn to love her. If you have closed off your spirit then you can start responding again. Ask the Lord to help you. Remember the early days of your relationship and do the things you did at first. You responded to him and when you respond to him in the same way then you can rekindle the love. Learn to be generous with your spouse in love and forgiveness and water your marriage. A man needs respect, praise and physical intimacy and when these are lacking in a marriage then he is vulnerable to outside temptations. A woman needs love, time together (it is very helpful if he will continue to “date” his wife once a week, if possible, to give her that one on one time with her husband) and emotional intimacy and when these are lacking then she is more vulnerable to outside temptations. Neither a husband nor a wife deserve love and respect but both need it and wise is the spouse that gives to the other even when they don’t deserve it.

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

The Lord will be a present help in your trouble. Ask Him to help you. He wants to bless your marriage. Marriage is very fulfilling and satisfying for those who look to God to be their refuge and strength. A husband and wife need each other and the comfort, love and respect of one another.

A Life that Is Not Afraid of Death

Death is a natural fear in all of us. In our natural being we are afraid of dying. However, the fear of death is one of the things that the Lord takes away from the one who believes in Him and has trusted Him for their eternal salvation.

Hebrews 2:14,15 Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives.

We are all appointed to die and then comes judgment. We have no control over our lives before and after death. We all will die.

Hebrews 9:27 And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment,

We do not have to fear death if we belong to the Lord Jesus Christ because He died for us so that we will not have to experience the sting of death. When a bee stings a person it leaves it’s stinger in the person and is powerless to sting again. The bee can still fly around and terrorize a person but it can not hurt them. In the same way, Jesus took the stinger when He took the sting of death so that death now is powerless over us.

I Corinthians 15:55-57 O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

The Lord has given us the victory over death so that we no longer have to fear death. If we have Christ then we have the victory and have been delivered out of death into life. For this reason, the Christian does not die but they fall asleep and wake up in the presence of the Lord when they pass from this earth.

II Corinthians 5:6-10 Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord— for we walk by faith, not by sight— we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord. Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.

Since the Lord has delivered us from the power of sin and death we are to walk in a manner pleasing to Him and to make this our ambition so that when we do appear before the judgment seat of Christ we will be found pleasing to Him by the good deeds that we have done in His name and for His glory. Let us not lose heart.

Galatians 6:9,10  Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

A Life that Understands What Destroys a Relationship

Understanding What Must “Never” be Done in any Relationship

There is only one command that the Lord says never to do. This is especially true in marriage where the temptation is great to do what the Lord has told us never to do. If we will follow the Lord’s instructions in marriage then we will be happy, our spouse will be happy and we will have a very successful marriage.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Romans 12:17a

To pay back evil to someone is the same as taking revenge. The Lord says to never take your own revenge or return evil for evil. Evil means to cause grief. It is the natural response to “if they are going to do something to me then I will do something to them”, or in other words, if someone causes us grief then we don’t want to be nice to them. It is very tempting to say something or even to have an attitude even if nothing is said. It is very destructive when a wife closes off her spirit. She may think that she can continue to do what she should do but it communicates a double message. A marriage is a union of spirit, soul and body. When a wife closes off her spirit then there is no longer a oneness of spirit. It is only a matter of time before there will no longer be a oneness of soul and body. When this happens then the needs that are fulfilled in marriage are no longer being met and each partner becomes vulnerable to outside temptations. With temptations will also come doubts. With doubts come instability in the marriage and unless this trend is reversed then the marriage can easily be damaged or destroyed. It is much harder to fix a problem than to prevent a problem and this problem could have been easily prevented in the beginning when there was a small amount of hurt.

Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. Proverbs 19:20

A wonderful aspect of God’s ways is that even if you have not listened earlier in life, then you can listen today and accept the discipline of the Lord so that you may be wise the rest of your days. If you will listen to the Lord and follow Him by doing exactly as He says then you can be wise the rest of your days and experienced the sweet fruit of wisdom, which is peace and happiness. You alone will experience either the greatest happiness or the greatest pain of the choices you make. Others will suffer also, but not to the degree that you will, for God gives much grace to those who suffer from the consequences from the bad choices of others.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

To scoff means to turn your back on what another says. When someone scoffs at God then they are turning their back on what God says. God’s word is wisdom and when we do not listen to and do what God says then we are scoffing at what He says. If we listen and do what God says then we will be wise. Whether we agree with what God says does not change the truth of what He says. God’s word is truth and we will be wise when we live according to His truth.

Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding, But in the hearts of fools it is made known. Proverbs 14:33

The Bible says that an understanding person is one who knows God and does what He says. Wisdom and understanding go together. If you want wisdom and understanding then seek the Lord and soon wisdom will rest in your heart and you will love life. If you choose to not know God or do what He says then you will feel the pain of not doing wisdom in your heart. You will realize too late that you did not make the right decision because you will feel it in your heart. However, it will not be the good feeling of when you have made a right decision but it will be the feeling of regret and shame.

Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool, And so is wisdom to a man of understanding. Proverbs 10:23

Just like in any sport, the better you get, the more you enjoy it, so it is with wisdom. The more you do wisdom in life then the more you enjoy life. Not only will you enjoy life but you will enjoy your marriage, you children and all of life. The Lord says to never return evil for evil. This is the only time He uses the word “never” in the imperative form.

Understand What We are to Do When Someone Hurts Us

The Lord tells us to give a blessing instead of returning grief. This is truly Godlike and only can be done by God’s grace. This is how the Lord is with us and He wants us to be this way with others. So much so, that if we will give a blessing, then we will inherit a blessing.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For,

“The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
“He must turn away from evil and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.
“For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer,
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” I Peter 3:8-12

Do you want to really live life to the fullest? Do you want your marriage to be blessed? Do you want to be happy and have good days? Then keep your tongue from causing grief and be honest in what you say. Let love and truth characterize your life. Turn away from doing evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. Then the Lord will hear and answer your prayers and His favor will be towards you.

Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. I Peter 3:13,14a

If we do what is right then the Lord will bless us. We will be like our heavenly Father, who does good to all men and women.

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30