Category: Love in marriage

A Life that Has Understanding

When you have understanding then you will enjoy life so much more and will be much less frustrated than others without understanding. Understanding will give you insight in decisions and make you more successful because of your right choices in life.

I Chronicles 22:12,13 Only the Lord give you discretion and understanding, and give you charge over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the Lord your God. Then you will prosper, if you are careful to observe the statutes and the ordinances which the Lord commanded Moses concerning Israel. Be strong and courageous, do not fear nor be dismayed.

The more understanding that you have the more wise counsel that you will have to guide your life and to help others.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

When you have understanding then it will watch over you.

Proverbs 2:11 Discretion will guard you,
Understanding will watch over you,

When you have God’s understanding then you will learn more and more to trust Him and to not trust your own understanding. Your own understanding is limited to what you see or feel about a situation. God’s understanding is impartial and is based on His knowledge of life.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.

Understanding calls to us to live according to her ways. The word “folly” means stupidity. When we lack God’s understanding about life we have a tendency to do stupid things. Stupid decisions and stupid activities rob us of life.

Proverbs 9:6 “Forsake your folly and live,
And proceed in the way of understanding.”

When one has understanding then they will recognize those that do not and will not fall into the snares of people who will get them into trouble and bring grief to their lives. Many a man’s life was made very sorrowful because of the woman he married. Understanding will keep a man from the woman of folly. A person lacking in understanding is naive.

Proverbs 9:13-18 The woman of folly is boisterous,
She is naive and knows nothing.
She sits at the doorway of her house,
On a seat by the high places of the city,
Calling to those who pass by,
Who are making their paths straight:
“Whoever is naive, let him turn in here,”
And to him who lacks understanding she says,
“Stolen water is sweet;
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
But he does not know that the dead are there,
That her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

A godly mother will teach her sons to avoid the woman of folly. A wise son will listen to his mother. A man can not see through women and in the same way a female can not see through males. A young lady needs her father’s counsel and a young man needs his mother’s counsel when it comes to choosing a life partner. If you do not have a mother or father in your life then go to an older godly person who has understanding so that they can give you wise counsel. Other than choosing who will be your Master in life the next most important decision that you will make will be who your mate will be. Choose wisely and you will be blessed. Choose foolishly and that choice will become a curse to you.

 

A Life Living in Love and Truth

As you learn to live in God’s love and truth then you will soar in life. Your life will have purpose and meaning and you will experience great joy and fulfillment.

Psalm 138:8 The Lord will accomplish what concerns me;
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

God’s love and God’s truth are eternal.

Psalm 117:2 For His lovingkindness is great toward us,
And the truth of the Lord is everlasting.
Praise the Lord!

As you live in His love and truth then you will being living the eternal life that He came to bring to you. You will have eternal values and eternal treasures.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

As you walk in His truth and His love then you will be doing what He has called you to do.

I John 2:3-6 By this we know that we have come to know Him, if we keep His commandments. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” and does not keep His commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him: the one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked.

His commandments are love and truth. If you love Him then you will keep His commandments and if you keep His commandments then you will be loving others as He has loved you. Jesus was full of love and truth and kept His Father’s commandments. He wants us to walk in the same manner as he Himself also walked.

I John 2:10 The one who loves his brother abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in him.

When you love others then you will not make them stumble nor will you stumble. For this reason there are some activities that are not a right or wrong issue but they are “love” issues because they would make someone stumble. If you love your brother then you will not do anything to make Him stumble. You will restrict your “freedom” out of love for your brother.

Romans 14:15-21 For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.

If you eat certain foods (that were sacrificed to idols) or drink wine and make your brother stumble then you are not walking according to love. The word “good” in this passage means the highest form of love. If you are not loving your brother then this issue is not just a love issue but has become a sin issue. Even though the activity may not be “sin” for you, the very action has become sin because it is not loving your brother.

I John 3:10b anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love his brother.

If you are a Christian and belong to Him then the commandment that He has given you is to love your brother. If you keep His commandments then you will abide in His love and His love will abide in you.

 

A Life that Recognizes a Wise Person

If you have wise people in your life and if you have a wise friend then you are especially blessed because the Bible says that you also will be wise. Since there are not many wise people in the world, for the way of wisdom and walking in God’s ways is narrow, then how do you recognize a wise person so that you might walk with them through life?

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Many a person has gotten into trouble by being a companion with a fool. However, many a person has been saved from much grief because they had a friend who was wise. First of all, seek to be wise and then ask the Lord to give you a wise friend. Your wise friend will stick closer than a brother and will speak truth to you even if it hurts.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

A wise friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than with your friendship with them. Their love for you will be Christlike and will point you to the Lord. However, how do you know when someone is a wise person?

James 3:13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.

A wise person will have the fruit of wisdom and the fruit of wisdom is to do good. The Lord gave Solomon great wisdom because the heart of Solomon was to do good by leading God’s people in the right way. Solomon did not seek for wealth or honor but asked God for wisdom. A wise person will not seek after honor for themselves nor will they put their hope in riches. A wise person will seek the Lord and it will be evident in their life by their good deeds.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning,
And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

A wise person will be teachable and will continually want to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn from Him. The Bible says that a man will be praised according to his insight. A wise person will have God’s insight on matters.

Daniel 2:20,21 Daniel said,“Let the name of God be blessed forever and ever,
For wisdom and power belong to Him.
“It is He who changes the times and the epochs;
He removes kings and establishes kings;
He gives wisdom to wise men
And knowledge to men of understanding.

A wise person will recognize and know that the Lord is the source of all wisdom and that He is the One who gives wisdom to wise men and knowledge to men of understanding. A fool is one who is wise in his own eyes but a wise person will know that he has no wisdom of his own.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back.

A wise person does not have anger issues. Anger stems from wanting your own way and is destructive to those around them. If you want a life of misery then marry a fool and especially one who loses his temper. A wise person wants God’s way and is peaceful, gentle and loving. If you want a marriage designed by the Lord and is a taste of heaven then marry a wise person and enjoy the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Matthew 7:24 Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.

Finally, a wise person is one who builds their life on the Word of God. They don’t just listen to it but they do it. They seek the Lord diligently. This is who is wise and who will be a friend who will not only love God but will love you also. Seek to be this friend to others and you will find that those who are wise will want to be your friend. Your life will be richly blessed and you will be a blessing to others.

Hosea 14:9 Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;
Whoever is discerning, let him know them.
For the ways of the Lord are right,
And the righteous will walk in them,
But transgressors will stumble in them.

 

A Life with the Sweetness of Wisdom

When life is done God’s way then it is sweet. When life is not done God’s way then it can become bitter and then we become bitter. His design was to give us good gifts. He wants us to live according to His ways and experience life to the fullest. Even after man and woman messed up in the garden of Eden the Lord had a plan to give us another chance. Jesus Christ came that we might have an abundant life that overflows. He came that we might live.

John 10:10b I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Jesus is that life and life is in Him. He who has Christ has life. He who does not have Jesus Christ does not have life but they have death abiding in them and one day death will overtake them for all eternity.

I John 5:11,12 And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life.

What does the life look like that Jesus came to give us. It is a picture of wisdom since in Jesus is the fullness of life and wisdom. It is the wisdom from above.

James 3:17  But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.

If this wisdom does not describe your life, your marriage, your family or whatever relationships that you are in then come to Him and ask Him for His wisdom.

James 1:5-8 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

However, you must ask with a pure heart that is surrendered to Him. Otherwise, your symptom may be fixed but the root problem is still the same and that is rottenness within your heart. Double mindedness comes from an unsurrendered will to the Lord. There is still that fight within of wanting our own way.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Doublemindedness may cause you to be deceived. You will not receive God’s wisdom and if you are not careful then you will receive the wrong kind of wisdom which is demonic and leads to death.

James 3:14-16 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.

Come to Him and you will find rest for your soul and the fighting within of your will and God’s design for you will cease. His ways are pleasant ways and His paths are peace.

Matthew11:28-30 Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

 

A Life that Knows the Value of Wisdom

Once you receive wisdom then you will realize the great treasure that it is and that nothing can compare with its value. People seek money and wealth and yet wisdom is far greater and no amount of money can buy it. Wisdom will give you life but earthly treasures promise no such return and can often bring sorrow.

Proverbs 4:7-9 The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom;
And with all your acquiring, get understanding.
Prize her, and she will exalt you;
She will honor you if you embrace her.
She will place on your head a garland of grace;
She will present you with a crown of beauty.

The Lord says that if you acquire wisdom then there are many other things that come with her. Prize wisdom and she will exalt you. Wisdom will honor you if you embrace her. She will give you grace and present you with a crown of beauty. You must acquire wisdom and in acquiring wisdom you must also seek for understanding.

Proverbs 4:5,6 Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding!
Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will guard you;
Love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom comes from God’s words. Do not forget His Word nor turn away from them. If you will not forsake wisdom and God’s Word but love them then they will guard you and watch over you.

Proverbs 3:13-18 How blessed is the man who finds wisdom
And the man who gains understanding.
For her profit is better than the profit of silver
And her gain better than fine gold.
She is more precious than jewels;
And nothing you desire compares with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
In her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are pleasant ways
And all her paths are peace.
She is a tree of life to those who take hold of her,
And happy are all who hold her fast.

Jesus Christ is the fullness of wisdom. When you receive Jesus Christ then you begin the journey of knowing wisdom and having understanding. You can not separate one from the other. You must seek the Lord more than silver and search for Him more than hidden treasure. When you find Jesus Christ then you will discover that the profit of a life in Him is more profitable than silver and the gain than fine gold. He is far more precious than jewels and nothing you desire compares with knowing Him. Jesus Christ is that tree of life that was offered in the garden that all who come to Him may eat of and live forever.

Colossians 2:2a,3 and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Come to Him and find not only wisdom but life and all that life in Him has to offer. You will find that you will be truly happy as you hold fast to Him.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful;

 

A Life that Receives Wisdom

We all need wisdom if we want to do life, work, relationships and whatever else right. If we want less sorrow and more happiness and fulfillment in our life then we need wisdom. However, where do we receive wisdom, in other words, what is the source of wisdom?

Proverbs 2:6,7a For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;

The Lord is the Giver of wisdom. Not only does He give wisdom but He gives knowledge and understanding. He is the source of all that is good and upright. He stores us sound wisdom for the upright and delights in giving to those who seek Him then secrets of life which is His wisdom.

Psalm 25:12-14 Who is the man who fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way he should choose.
His soul will abide in prosperity,
And his descendants will inherit the land.
The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.

Just as there are secrets in all of life and how to do life, so the Lord has made it that the person who fears Him will receive His instructions and will know His secrets. His soul will abide in prosperity and his children will have a refuge and see the promises of God. One of the greatest gifts that you can give to your children is for them to see the reality of God on a daily basis and to see the fulfillment of His promises. He not only has promises for all eternity but He has promises for daily life.

Job 12:16a With Him are strength and sound wisdom,

The Lord gives wisdom but He entrusts it to those who fear Him. Wisdom is so powerful that it would be destructive to the one who does not fear God.

Job 28:28 And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom;
And to depart from evil is understanding.’”

Are you frustrated in life or in relationships? Often we desire something and are frustrated because we are not getting what we desire. If you do not fear God then that desire could become a snare or bondage for you. It is the fear of the Lord that keeps things clean and pure. When we fear Him then He purifies our hearts and fulfills our desires in a good way so that the desires do not destroy or control us. The Lord is good and He only gives to His children what is good. Sometimes we do not know what is good for us and for this reason it is crucial that we trust Him to give us what He knows is good. You will look back on life when you are older and you will be thankful for not receiving certain desires.

Psalm 19:9a The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

Once you have surrendered your life and your desire to the Lord and are seeking to fear Him, then ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give it to you generously.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

It is wisdom to seek God and it is foolishness to seek any thing else above God. He is wisdom, life, love and everything else that we long for and He alone is able to give us all that we need. In Him are peace, joy and love. If you will seek Him then He will lead you into the way of wisdom and understanding. You will want to do good and you will be free of the snares of death. He gives grace and wisdom so that we might do His will and live according to His ways. When you know Him then you will know wisdom and you will have understanding. For it is the Lord who gives wisdom and understanding. The outcome will be that you will live securely and will not fear.

Proverbs 1:33 But he who listens to me shall live securely
And will be at ease from the dread of evil.”

 

 

 

A Life that Seeks to Be Wise

There is a proverb that says that if you are wise then you are wise for yourself but if you scoff then you alone will bear it. What this means is that one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself is wisdom and if you do not seek wisdom and treasure it but scoff and turn your back on wisdom and do your “own thing” then you will bear the sorrow.

Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself,
And if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

Wisdom is the instruction for life. Just as if you are trying to assemble something and choose to not read the instructions but “try to figure it out on your own”, it will cost you much more time and often the assembled item will not run the way it is supposed to and you may have problems with it along the way. So is life, if we do not follow the instructions then it will take us much longer to figure life out and all of the wonderful ways and gifts of life. We will spend much time trying to fix the problems that could have been prevented if only we had done it right the first time. The gifts of life will no longer seem like gifts but more like burdens.

Psalm 104:24 O Lord, how many are Your works! In wisdom You have made them all; The earth is full of Your possessions.

One of the greatest gifts that the Lord has given to us is that we are His creation and He has given us life. We are God’s work and it was in wisdom that He made us. There is nothing haphazard in what He has done. We are intricately and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:13,14 For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.

Foolishness is the opposite of wisdom and it is foolish to think that we randomly came together or evolved from a lower species. There is nothing like the human being. The Lord made us in His image and only God can give sight and hearing. Even if man could put together the parts or they just randomly came together the eye would not see nor the ear hear.

Proverbs 20:12 The hearing ear and the seeing eye,
The Lord has made both of them.

Evolution is a smoke screen to seek to deny the existence of God. If no God then no guilt and if no guilt then we can do as we please. There could not be a more foolish way of thinking and it is scoffing at God.

Psalm 14:1-3 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds;
There is no one who does good.
The Lord has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men
To see if there are any who understand,
Who seek after God.
They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt;
There is no one who does good, not even one.

It is the tendency of all of our hearts to go our own way and to not seek after God and to do good. Our hearts are foolish and for this reason we need a new heart that will seek after God and know Him. The Lord is the only One who can give us a new heart. He wants to give you a new heart and put a new Spirit within you.

Ezekiel 36:26,27 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.

When you receive a new heart and receive His Spirit then He will cause you to walk in His ways, which is wisdom, and He will teach you to observe His ordinances, which are His instructions for life. If you have not received a new heart then ask Him today. Seek Him while He may be found. He will come to you.

Luke 11:9,10 So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened.

 

 

 

A Life with Love Fills the Heart

When a person experiences love, really great love, then love will fill their heart. When love fills the heart then love will fill the life, the marriage and the home. When the heart is empty of love then the life, marriage and home will be empty of love.

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; Luke 6:45a

A good person is one whose heart is filled with the Lord. There is no one good but God. God is good and His love is what changes lives, marriages, homes and the world. However, there is no such thing as a vacuum and if the Lord does not fill your heart with His love then your heart will be filled with what is not good. The opposite of love is selfishness and evil and if our hearts are not filled with God’s love then our hearts will be filled with selfish ambitions and what is evil.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16

Where there is jealousy and selfish ambition there will be confusion and every evil thing. Whether we want to or not, when we are not filled with God’s love and His truth then we will inadvertently do evil to those whom we should love and will bring them grief through our selfishness, our neglect, our attitudes, our actions or our words.

and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart. Luke 6:45b

The devil uses only one weapon to cause us to bring grief to others and that is the lie. He whispers into our heart thoughts that are not good and we start responding to them and before we know it we are believing these lies.

You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44

The lies of the devil stir up our imagination and put doubts into our hearts about our spouse, children, coworkers, bosses, friends and neighbors. It is when we act or speak on these doubts that stir up strife in our lives, our marriages, our homes and our world.

He who loves transgression loves strife; He who raises his door seeks destruction. Proverbs 17:19

Strife is the beginning of destruction. Strife will bring destruction to our marriage and our home and everything else that is precious to us. Love believes the best and seeks to know the truth so that the lies will be recognized and dismissed. The devil is an accuser but the one who loves God and the person who has His truth and His love in their heart will recognize these accusations and not respond to them. Love believes the best in others. If we respond to a lie then our response will always be wrong and bring grief to another.

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying, “Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night. Revelation 12:10

Jesus Christ has the power and authority over the devil and when Jesus Christ is in our lives then the devil has no power to deceive us into believing his lies. As we learn to respond to Jesus Christ, who is the truth and who loves us with His own life, then we will bring life and love to others.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

When Jesus Christ fills us with Himself then we will be filled with His love, His truth and His life. Our hearts will be filled with what is good and our homes and lives will be filled with love.

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. James 3:13

Good thoughts, attitudes and actions can only come from one who is wise and understanding. The Bible says that knowing God gives understanding and revering Him is the beginning of wisdom. Good will be expressed through the gentleness of God’s wisdom and the outcome will build up and not tear down.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. James 3:17

This will characterize the one whose heart is filled with love.

A Life with Love Does Not Grow Weary

Love is not a fifty yard dash but it is a marathon. It is a long run in the right direction that brings incredibly great rewards if we stay the path. Do not grow weary. It is worth the struggle, the perseverance, the endurance, the pain and the growth that will occur in you.

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Galatians 6:9,10

We will not always have opportunity to do good to others. The word good means the highest form of love. When we love we are doing good to others. First, we are to love and do good to our spouses. Then we are to love and do good to our children. Next we are to love and do good to our extended family, friends, neighbors and those whom we work with or engage in business. This is the order of the requirements in responsibility that the Lord has for leaders.

An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. I Timothy 3:2-7

The Lord says that we will know others by their fruit. No one knows what another’s relationship with the Lord is like but if his relationship with the Lord is not right then it will show up in his marriage. No one really knows what a person’s marriage is like but the fruit of the marriage will be made known in the children. If the children are not being brought up right then there will be problems with those outside of the home. The Lord would not make these requirements in leadership if it was random how a marriage or children end up.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? Proverbs 20:6

A person’s relationships and family are the fruits of a trustworthy man. They are indications of a person’s relationship with the Lord. The most important relationship is a leader’s relationship with the Lord but no one knows what is done in secret but the Lord. The Lord tells us to look at the fruit.

Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. So then, you will know them by their fruits. Matthew 7:15-20

If there are issues in your marriage, family or outside of your family then the temptation is to focus on the marriage partner, children or others but the need is to focus first on your relationship with the Lord. Are you being faithful? Are you seeking Him with all of your heart? Are you spending time with the Lord in His Word and prayer daily and especially in the morning? Or are you secretly feeding your flesh? Do you have bitter jealousy or selfish ambition in your heart? The good fruit or the corruption in our own relationship with the Lord, in our marriage and our family will be evident.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Galatians 6:7,8

Do not be deceived by the deceptiveness of sin and the flesh, God is not mocked. If you are feeding your flesh secretly it will be seen openly in the fruit in your relationships. If you are feeding your spirit then you will see life and experience life and peace in your life and in your relationships.

For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:6-8

A Life with Love is Not Easily Angered

Anger is an emotion that can easily destroy love. Only a fool will allow anger to control him and it is best to not be angry at all.

Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, For anger resides in the bosom of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9

A person who is slow to get angry is greater than the mighty. He who rules his spirit shows more power than he who captures a city.

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32

Love is not easily angered because love and understanding sees the need in the other person rather than the desire in one’s own self to get angry.

He who is slow to anger has great understanding, But he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29

The angry person does not realize that once they are over their anger the damage has been done in the spirit of the other ones who have seen it. Anger destroys intimacy in a marriage and a family because it puts fear in the one who is vulnerable. A wife is vulnerable to her husband and children are vulnerable to parents. Fear keeps the vulnerable one from opening up.

A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression. Proverbs 19:11

It is a wise and discreet person who is slow to anger. It is a loving person who overlooks mistakes and shortcomings in others. It is love that covers a multitude of sins.

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. I Peter 4:8

A wise person is slow to anger and a prudent person conceals dishonor. A loving person is one who conceals dishonor in someone else. They will not seek to exalt themselves at the expense of someone else.

A fool’s anger is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor. Proverbs 12:16

Anger pours gas on a potentially explosive situation whereas love pours water on a fire. A wise and loving person will learn to turn away from anger.

Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger. Proverbs 29:8

Anger and wrath are related and so is fretting. Fretting is another word for being anxious and when we are anxious then it leads to evildoing. Doing evil is usually taking things into our own hands to deal with a situation and the outcome will not be good.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.
Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.
But the humble will inherit the land
And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity. Psalm 37:7-11

The opposite of anger is to trust in the Lord, rest in Him and wait for Him. We can only do that if we know Him and know His love. If you do get angry with someone and say or do something that is not right then go to the person and ask their forgiveness for what you have done.

He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. Proverbs 28:13

Don’t try to conceal your angry response by excusing or justifying what you have done or blaming someone else by saying they caused your anger. Maybe what they did was wrong but it does not excuse our response if it is not right. If we confess our sins to one another and forsake them then we will find compassion. Ask for prayer from another who has struggled and seen victory. All of us can relate to being angry but it does not justify us being that way.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. James 5:16

My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. James 5:19,20

It is the soul of the angry person who dies when they get angry and say and do things that they regret. We need each other to help us in our struggles when we stray from the truth of God’s ways. Ask the Lord to help you find an older Christian who will pray for you and who you can talk with and confess your sins to so that they can turn you back to the Lord and His truth.