Category: Christian Dating

A Life that Does Not Give Away Intimacy

There is a saying, “If the milk is free why buy the cow?”. There are certain gifts that have been given to us and that a young lady should not give away except to the right person at the right time. She should not give away her body to men but it is to be saved for her husband alone and only should be given to him after he has taken her in marriage. Marriage is a man’s commitment to a young lady to love her, to cherish her, to protect her, to provide for her and ultimately to lay down his life for her. Many a man will make promises to get what they want and then once they have gotten their desires then they never fulfill their promises. Engagement is not marriage and the same rules for dating apply during the engagement period.

I Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition but it is a 100/100 relationship. Each one gives all of oneself to the other so that they might become one. However, what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to abstain from sexual relations before marriage and wrong to withhold from each other after marriage. There is a saying that girls that do “it” before marriage don’t want to do “it” after marriage so it is foolish for both to compromise God’s standard of morality. God is not mocked. He has His standards for our good and we are foolish not to abide by what He has said.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Moral excellence is the root of true love in a marriage and it is expressed through waiting until after the wedding to have a physical relationship. If two people are morally excellent in their standards then they will trust each other after they are married. If a man and woman compromise before marriage then the trust will not be there as it could have been had they waited.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

If you have compromised God’s moral standard then it is not too late to repent but there needs to be repentance and though that may be hard it is necessary. Repentance means that you are turning your back on your sin and turning to God. However, you must keep turning to the Lord so that you do not fall back into your old ways. You also must flee from temptation. Temptations are often much stronger if you have tasted of the pleasures of that particular sin. You do not miss what you have never known.

II Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

You can, by God’s grace, keep His standards of righteousness. God is faithful and will provide a way of escape to the one who calls on Him and puts their trust in Jesus Christ.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

 

A Life that Chooses Good Friends

You will become like your friends therefore the most important decisions that you make in life after choosing the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior is who will be your friends. Choose good friends and you life will be blessed. Choose bad friends and your life will be filled with grief. This is one of the most profound choices that you will make in life. The companions with whom you walk through life will influence your other decisions.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Choose only to be with wise men and run from fools. A fool is someone who lives as if there is no God. They may even say that they believe in God but if they are living as if there is no God then they are living like a fool. Run from them.

Psalms 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds;
There is no one who does good.

All of us came into the world with a foolish heart. We must turn away from our foolish ways and turn to the Lord with all of our heart. Don’t look at what a person says but at what they do. It is by their deeds that people distinguish themselves.

Proverbs 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself
If his conduct is pure and right.

In the same way, the kind of friends that you attract will be the kind of people whom you are attracted to. Is your life pure and right? It is not only by their deeds that a person distinguishes himself but also by his type of speech.

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves purity of heart
And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

Choose only friends who desire a pure heart. Those who want their heart to be pure will be discerning about where their eyes go and what their ears hear. What goes into  the heart of a man is what comes out of him and what comes out through his mouth is what defiles him.

Mark 7:20 And He was saying, “That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.

It is those who have a pure heart who will see Jesus.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Our greatest need in life is to see God for all that we do in life is a response to our view of God. If our view is right then our conduct will be upright. If our view of God is twisted then we will be crooked in our ways. If we choose friends who do not know God or do not see Him then they will lead us astray and we will forget our God.

I Corinthians 15:33 Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad.

Choose good friends and choose to be a good friend to others. Friendship means speaking the truth in love.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

If your friends are good then they will point you to Jesus and help you stay on the right path. Sometimes they might tell you what you don’t want to hear but it is much better than to have friends who will always tell you what you “want” to hear. Our hearts are deceitful so we need others in our lives who will help us in our times of weakness and temptation. The temptations will pass and the blessings will follow if we are faithful.

Proverbs 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

 

 

 

 

A Life with a Great Marriage

You may not be married but if you want to get married one day then now is the time to be preparing for a great marriage. You may wonder how to prepare for a great marriage and if it is God’s will for you to even get married. It is God’s will for most young ladies to get married and it is God’s will that you have a great marriage. A wise woman starts building a great marriage before she gets married.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

It is by God’s wisdom that a great marriage is built. He is the Master Builder and when we build according to His plans the marriage will be great and it will stand during the storms of life. Many marriages are not built on the right foundation and so when the storms come they do not stand but fall and great is the fall with much pain to all.

Proverbs 23:3,4 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

By wisdom a great marriage is built and by understanding it is established and by the knowledge of the Lord the days and years will be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Now is the time to prepare. Now is the time to get ready.

Proverbs 24:27 Prepare your work outside
And make it ready for yourself in the field;
Afterwards, then, build your house.

Since the Lord Jesus Christ is the Master Builder then He needs to be your Master or otherwise you will think that you know how to prepare and what to do. A great marriage begins with the Master Builder being your Master and you following His blueprint. His blueprint is His plans and instruction for life and marriage. Since he designed marriage then He knows what you need to do.

Luke 6:46-49 Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

You must first learn what an excellent wife is and then you will have a picture of what you want to become. First of all, an excellent wife is a woman of great worth. She will be one that a man is willing to work for so that he might receive her as his own wife. This is important because a man appreciates what he works for and will cherish the woman for whom he had to work.

Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.

An excellent wife is a crown of her husband. A man wears his crown proudly, in a good way and it gives him the courage and strength to rule and succeed in the world. A wife who would shame him is as rottenness in his bones. The marrow of the bone is where the blood is made in the body and healthy blood means a healthy man. A wife who shames her husband cause the life to go out of him.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

This is also important because a man has a tendency to fight with his conscience so if a wife is her husband’s conscience then there will not be harmony in the home but much contention. He would rather not go home at all and if he does then he would rather live in the attic.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the roof
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Are you contentious and argumentative? Do you have to be right? Do you have to get the last word in? Do you feel like men “don’t get it”? Or do you believe that once you get married then you can change your husband? It would be better for you not to marry until these issues can be changed in your life. We can not change ourselves but the Lord can change us. He wants to change us and make us into that woman who fears the Lord and who will be a delight to our husbands. Life is sweet when it is done God’s way and this definitely applies to marriage. Begin now to prepare for a great marriage. It will be worth it. Your children will rise up and bless you and your husband also.

Proverbs 31:28-30 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

 

 

 

A Life that is Guided

How sweet it is to have guidance and especially when we need it. The Lord has given us guidance and when we learn where to look for it then our life becomes much more secure. The Lord has given us several ways to guide us.

Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright will guide them,
But the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them.

When you walk in integrity then that principle will guide you. If you always do the right thing, which is what is honest and kind then you will have your guidance of what you should do. If you live according to integrity then you will walk securely and confidently.

Proverbs 6:22 When you walk about, they will guide you; When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.

God’s Word will guide you. God’s will never goes against His Word. If you live according to His Word then you will not be fearful nor will you fret. God’s Word will guide you, watch over you and talk to you as you journey through life. You will walk with great confidence.

Psalm 73:24 With Your counsel You will guide me, And afterward receive me to glory.

The Lord will guide you through His counsel. His Word will be your guide and your counselor.

Psalm 119:24 Your testimonies also are my delight;
They are my counselors.

The Lord will guide you through His Spirit. He will guide you into all the truth and the truth will be your guide.

John 16:13 But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.

Jesus said that He is the way, the truth and the life.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

Jesus will guide you through His Spirit and His Word until you see Him face to face and then He will receive you into His glory.

Psalm 48:14 For such is God, Our God forever and ever; He will guide us until death.

Finally, as you learn to allow Him to be your guide, then He will use you to be a guide to others.

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray.

 

 

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called the single men to be the initiators in relationships with single women. Women are called to be responders. If she is interested in the young man and he is suitable for her then she learns to respond to him. The young lady is not the initiator. For this way of life to be for a young lady she must put her trust in the Lord. If she will learn to live in His presence and put her trust in Him then she will thrive in life. If she trusts in herself then she will be constantly frustrated and defeated.

Psalm 52:8 But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.

The Lord is the One who directs the hearts of all men.

Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.

If she does not trust the Lord then she will be tempted to initiate or manipulate concerning young men. Either of these options are not God’s way. If she initiates or manipulates and she gets what she wants then she will never know if it is what the Lord wanted for her. When the trials come in the relationship then she will be tempted to doubt and in her time of need she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought about the relationship.

Proverbs 7:7-15 And I saw among the naive,
And discerned among the youths
A young man lacking sense,
Passing through the street near her corner;
And he takes the way to her house,
In the twilight, in the evening,
In the middle of the night and in the darkness.
And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home;
She is now in the streets, now in the squares,
And lurks by every corner.
So she seizes him and kisses him
And with a brazen face she says to him:
“I was due to offer peace offerings;
Today I have paid my vows.
“Therefore I have come out to meet you,
To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you.

The immoral woman is an initiator and manipulator. Often she also will have a pretense of religion, of being a good girl. However, the Bible says that her way is death.

Proverbs 2:16-19 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.

It is when we are struggling and doubting that we are tempted to take things into our hands and “make it happen”. The attitude that nobody else is looking after you so you need to look after yourself is against God’s ways. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Old Testament came up with an idea to get a baby, rather than wait upon the Lord. It brought her much grief.

Genesis 16:3,4 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight.

In the same way, you will bring yourself grief also, if you take matters into your own hands. You may get what you “want” but will not want it in the end nor will it bring you any joy.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

When a young lady responds to a young man then it makes him feel like a king. If you make a man feel like a king then he will want you to be his queen. It is well worth it to wait for God’s man and for God’s timing. If a man sees a young lady as a queen he will treat her as such.

Psalm 52:9 I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it,
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.

In the end, if a young lady will trust in the Lord then she will give thanks to Him because she will know that He is the One who did it.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

 

A Life that Recognizes Mr. Right

A young lady will often wonder how she will know when she meets the one for her. There are three M’s in a young person’s life. They must go in a certain order. Master, mission and mate. For a young man they must go in that order but for a young lady she must choose who her master will be and then the mission and mate will go together. There is only One who is the Lord of lords and if she chooses the Lord Jesus Christ to be her Master then He will choose all of the other decisions for her and they will be the right decisions…so the man that she marries will be Mr. Right for her. His mission will become her mission so her mate and mission will go together.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

The word suitable in this verse means literally “corresponding to”. Cor means heart and respond means that she will first respond to His heart, which is his spirit and soul. Her spirit will respond to his spirit and her soul will respond to his soul. The physical is secondary and will happen in the marriage. The Lord made the female to be a responder and not an initiator in her relationship with a young man. She must learn how to respond to his heart. One of the ways that you will know that you have met the one for you is, “do you respond to his heart?” It is crucial that there is no physical relationship at this point because the physical deceives us and we can not see clearly. If you are a Christian, then he must have a heart for the Lord.

II Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Next, is he a committed Christian? You will want a committed Christian. Only a committed Christian can love with the love of Christ. Utmost importance to you will be if you are loved.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

Does your father approve of the young man? Your father is the one who gives you to the young man to cherish, provide and protect. A young lady is never on her own. She goes from the authority of her father to the authority of her husband. Just because something is legal in the laws of the land it does not make it right. In the Lord, you are under your father’s authority until you get married. What if your father is not a Christian? It does not matter. He is your father and the Lord has commanded you to honor him. What if you do not have a father? Then the Lord says He will be a father to the fatherless.

I Corinthians 7:38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

As you go in the direction of God’s will, it will become clearer and clearer.

Proverbs 4:18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

The young man may be the right one but it is not the right timing. If you have doubts about either then wait on the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

The Lord wants His peace to rule in your heart. He wants you to know His will. Seek Him and ask Him to give you wisdom.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Learn to pray about everything. You will need to do this in your marriage so the sooner you learn to pray about everything then the smoother your life will be.

Philippians 4:6,7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The peace of God will be with you when you learn to let your requests be made known to the Lord and the God of peace will be with you when you learn to focus on Jesus Christ, for He alone is true, worthy of honor, righteous, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8,9 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone once said that if you walk around with your eyes on the Lord then you will bump into the one for you. Keep your focus on Him. He can bring the two of you together.

 

 

 

A Life that is Transformed

As all of us grow older we understand the truth that our outer person is decaying. We may think that we can prolong it but our bodies will one day wear out. However, if our inner person has life, though we may die on the outside, the inside of us will be renewed and become stronger and be refreshed for it will never decay.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man  is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

If we follow the instructions the Lord has given to us then we will soar like an eagle on the inside and we will gain new strength. We will run and not get tired and we will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Our youth will be renewed like the eagle. A Christian is the only one whose youth is renewed though he grows older. It is our endless dissatisfaction in life and seeking after things that will never satisfy that saps us of our strength and makes us feel old before our time. Let the Lord satisfy your years with good things and let Him fulfill you.

Psalm 103:5 Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

As our inner person is being renewed it is also being transformed, or at least, it should be in the process of being changed. If you are a Christian then His blueprint for you is that you will become conformed to the image of Christ. He made us in His image and that is His design for each of us.

I John 3:2 Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

He conforms us into the image of Christ by transforming us through His Word. His blood washes our conscience clean and then He renews our mind so that we will act in accordance to His will.

Hebrews 9:14 how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

The Lord wants to transform you through His Word.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

However, if you neglect getting in His Word then He will often bring people alongside you who will share His Word with you. This is the Lord trying to speak to you. They are not as gentle as His Spirit but none the less, they are His instruments for your good.

I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

If, however, you still resist His Spirit then He will discipline you if you are His child. Now, the Lord says that discipline can be painful but it is for your good. It is because you were not obedient earlier to what He had shown you. The purpose of discipline is to bring you back to Him and get you back on track so that you can become like Him and experience His plan for your life.

Hebrews 12:11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

The Lord has a plan for your life but to fully experience that plan you must stay in His will and continually be transformed into the image of Christ. He speaks to us in three different ways. First of all, He wants to speak to you through His Spirit and His Word. If you do not listen then often He will speak to you through people. If you still do not listen then He will speak to you through circumstances. If you hate unnecessary pain then stay in His Word and when He speaks to you listen. This is one of the reasons why Jesus Christ kept saying when He was on earth, “He who has ears to hear, let Him hear”.

Acts 28:27 For the heart of this people has become dull,
And with their ears they scarcely hear,
And they have closed their eyes;
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
And hear with their ears,
And understand with their heart and return,
And I would heal them.”’

Do you need healing? Do you have areas that need changing? Let Him heal you so that you might be whole again. Let Him change you. His changes are lasting and they are not “turning over a new leaf” by trying harder. He makes you like Christ. Beloved, one day you will be like Him. Do not lose heart.

 

 

A Life that Gives and Receives Kindness

Kindness is the sweet oil and fragrant perfume of life. There is no joy to life without kindness and of all desirable qualities in a spouse that one would want it is kindness. Marry a kind person and you will be blessed your entire married life. Marry a cruel person and there will be no end to your misery.

Proverbs 19:22a What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

Kindness is what is desirable in a man. A cruel man will only receive harm and that harm will affect everyone in his life.

Proverbs 11:17 The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.

How can you tell if a man is cruel? Women are easily deceived and unless we have a man in our life, which should be a father, to tell us the truth we can be led astray by the wooing of a cruel man. We will not see the truth until it is too late. There is another quality that describes the cruel man and that is, he is a rebellious man.

Proverbs 17:11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.

If you want abuse and cruelty then a rebellious man will give that to you. If you want to have a sweet life and a blessed marriage then marry a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. The Lord is kind and those who walk with Him learn and become kind. Kindness comes to those who are kind.

Proverbs 18:25a With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Look at how a young man treats his mother and his sisters to see what his true character is. In the same way, if you want to be blessed in life then learn to be kind to others. Kindness is not random but it is purposeful. We have to learn to do good. The Lord will help us. It is the responsibility of a mother to teach her children to be kind but if you did not have a godly mother then the Lord will show you and teach you.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Love kindness and you will be like the Lord and doing what He requires of you.

Mich 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Do kindness and you will have the favor of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Be filled with the Lord and His Spirit will show kindness through you.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Don’t grow weary. Be faithful. The Lord will be with you.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

A Life with Friendships

A true friend is rare and is like “icing on the cake” in life. A friend is one of the sweetest gifts that the Lord gives here on earth. If you have one true friend then you are blessed and if you are a true friend to someone else then you are a blessing.

Proverbs 17:17a A friend loves at all times,

A friend is a gift and a trust that the Lord gives to people. Friends are not to be used and expectations will destroy friendships. The trust that someone else gives to you is to be guarded. They are entrusting to you their heart and soul. Prize it and you will keep it. Take it for granted and you will lose it.

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

Be careful who your friends are because they need to be trustworthy. Just as you need to learn to love them and overlook their sins so they need to overlook your transgressions. Both need to seek God’s love which is pure.

Proverbs 11:13 He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is trustworthy conceals a matter.

Be the friend that you want others to be to you. A true friend loves at all times and is trustworthy. A true friend will tell you the truth. A true friend will be more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than your relationship with them.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

A true friend will love with a sacrificial love and you will learn as much from them as they will from you. The greatest way to have a true friend is to be a true friend. True friendship is a oneness of the soul and spirit. For this reason, a Christian can only have a true friendship with another Christian. Their friendship must be built upon the Lord Jesus Christ as He showed us what a true friend is by calling us His friend.

John 15:13-15 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. He has called us to lay down our lives for others and this is His command. As we grow in our relationship with the Lord and keep His new command that He gave to us then He will make known to us His will and His ways. If you really want to be happy then be a friend of God. He calls you to be His friend.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

 

A Life with Relationships

Relationships help keep us from being lonely and give us worth, purpose and meaning in life. They also keep us balanced and accountable. We were made for relationships and yet many struggle with few meaningful relationships. Relationships teach us how to receive and give love and it is through relationships that the world is changed. Even if you missed out on certain relationships earlier in life it does not define your life or your ability to make relationships. Relationships must be built on the One who designed us to be in relationships.

Genesis 2:8 Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

The Lord God made man and gave him life. Man became a living being because God gave him life and God is the source of all life. When God is absent in a person’s life then he only exists, rather than thrive and life life to the fullest.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Everything that God had done up to this point He said that it was good. However, after He formed man then He said that it is not good for man to be alone. It was not good then and it is not good now for man to be alone. Man had God but man still needed to be in a relationship with another human being. Through another human being man would find companionship, help and love. The word “helper” means literally savior and is the only time in the Bible that it is used in reference to a person. Every other time it is used in reference to God. The word “suitable” means corresponding to. God made a helper who would respond to Adam’s heart and bring him companionship. Even though Adam lived in a perfect environment and had a job to do, which was to cultivate the earth and name the animals, he still needed a helper and companion, who would respond to his heart. God made man and woman because He wanted them but God made Eve for Adam because they needed each other. Man was not made to live alone. God loved man and woman from the beginning and gave them instructions on life because He wanted them to live life to the fullest.

Genesis 2:15-18 Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”

The Lord knew what man needed and as long as man listened to and obeyed God then man and woman would live happily ever after. As long as they lived in their relationship with their Creator then they would be safe from any grief and the pain of death.

Genesis 3:1-7 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

Woman did not listen to the one whom God had given to protect her and Adam chose also to not obey what he knew was right and so both chose to go their own way and do their own thing apart from what God had commanded. Their relationship with God was changed and they became estranged and separated. The Lord came and they hid.

Genesis 3:8-10 They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.”

Separation, death and guilt came into the world and with it fear, grief, pain and blame. When trust is gone in relationships then the relationship is changed and not the same. With broken relationships come broken hearts. With broken hearts there comes blame. Someone is responsible for the brokenness. Often we want to transfer the blame.

Genesis 3:11-13 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?”The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.” Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

With broken relationships come consequences which bring more sadness.

Genesis 3:16 To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”

Woman sinned first and the Lord spoke to her first. The consequences of her sin was pain in childbirth and she would desire her husband but he would rule over her.

Genesis 3:17-19 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’;

Cursed is the ground because of you;
In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.
“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you;
And you will eat the plants of the field;
By the sweat of your face
You will eat bread,
Till you return to the ground,
Because from it you were taken;
For you are dust,
And to dust you shall return.”

Man sinned by doing what his wife wanted him to do rather than what God wanted him to do. He disobeyed God. His consequences were that the ground would be cursed because of him and there would be thorns and thistles that would make his work more difficult. He would now have to sweat things out in his work and it would not be as pleasant and enjoyable as God had designed. Man still struggles with the thorns and thistles in his occupation.

Genesis 3:22-24 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.

It was God’s mercy that sent Adam and Eve out of the garden lest they eat of the tree of life and live forever in their now sinful state. Before God sent them out of the garden the Lord also gave Adam and Eve a promise of a Savior so that they might have hope and not despair.

Genesis 3:14a,15  The Lord God said to the serpent,
And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her seed;
He shall bruise you on the head,
And you shall bruise him on the heel.”

There would come from the seed of the woman a Savior who would destroy the tempter, Satan, who had brought grief to Adam and Eve. Mankind came into an awful cycle that only God could straighten out, a cycle of sin and death and with it a cycle of grief and despair. Man became brokenhearted with broken relationships.

Isaiah 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners;

The promised One who would destroy the works of the devil would also bind up the brokenhearted and heal them and heal their relationships.