Author: instructionstoayounglife.com

God’s design for a wife is that she is to be her husband’s lover. A man’s need for a wife is deeply embedded in his need for a lover. God’s design is so good that a husband will not only be satisfied with his wife as his lover but he will be intoxicated with her love. When Adam saw Eve, his response was (WOW!). The original Hebrew can not adequately translate it into English but that was basically his response.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23

The Lord still wants to give a wife to a husband and the Bible says that if the man does it right then on his wedding night he will be so lit up on her love that he will outshine the sun.

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.
It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, Psalm 19:4b,5a

Understanding a Wife’s Gift to Her Husband as His Lover

A female has the unique privilege to be called a gift, a reward and a favor to a man. The Lord made man with a physical appetite for the most intimate expression of love. A woman does not have the same physical appetite. A woman longs for the love of a man just as a man longs to love a woman. If a man has physical intimacy with a woman outside of marriage then it is “like sitting down and eating a steak dinner”. It will satisfy his appetite for the moment but it will not satisfy his deepest longings and needs. A man longs to know and be known. The word for physical intimacy in the Bible was that the husband was “to know” his wife. A man wants his wife to be unknown by all other men. She is to belong to him alone. A woman is a mystery to a man in many ways and that mystique that she has is part of her beauty. She is a much finer aspect of creation. Her beauty is not just physical but it is in her character, it is in her purity, it is in her innocence and it is her manner.

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9

Understand that God’s ways are the best for girls and women. He does all things well. If you will keep yourself pure and become the woman that God designed you to be then you will be beautiful to the man God gives you to and will be treated like a queen by your king. A man has only one heart and life to give and he wants to give it to a girl who has not been with another man. There is something within a man that compels him to treat a woman of fine character and beauty with respect. Beauty is on the inside and causes any woman to be beautiful to the man that God has designed for her. Also, marry a man who has kept himself pure then he will be faithful to you as he has learned to keep his physical appetites under control.

IF you have not stayed pure then ask God to cleanse your heart, mind and soul. Give yourself to the Lord and He will make you into a new creation. He is the Creator and He is the only One who can make all things new. He can and will restore your purity if you give yourself to Him, but then you must keep yourself pure by His strength. There is always hope in God no matter how much a person has messed up, if they will turn to Him.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17

The Lord made man to rule and gave him the position to rule over creation. The Lord made man to work and to rule in the world. Every man is a king in his own eyes. This is not a bad thing because they Lord made man to be a ruler. Man is not egotistical in feeling this way but he does need help to rule. He longs for a queen to rule with him and be a helper and a support to him. The Lord said that it was not good for the man to be alone.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding the Woman’s Support Role

He needs a woman to be his queen and his helper and support. He will recognize her by the fact that the Lord has made her to be suitable for him and to correspond to him. This means that she will understand his heart and she will respond to his heart. The Lord made her to be a support to him and such a strong support that the word has the meaning to be as strong as cement. She will not waver in her support of him but will believe in him when no one else does.  She will be so important to him that he will see her as a savior in many ways. (The word “helper” in this verse refers to the wife and it is the only time in Scripture where it refers to a person. Every other time it refers to God.) She will be stronger than him emotionally but he will be stronger than her physically. They will need each other and as they become one then they will conquer together. They will share each other’s joys and sorrows and each other’s successes and failures. When he is down, she will be up so that they do not sink together. They will encourage and pray for one another. Together they will make it if they will put their trust in the Lord because God has decreed it.

The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:20-23

Understand that a young lady who learns to treat a man like a king will never lack male friends. When a young lady can see who the young man is becoming and be an encouragement then she will thrive in her relationships and friendships with men. Most men long to be a king, because that is who God has made them to be, but they still lack the confidence and maturity. As a young man chooses to follow the Lord then he will become the person that God designed him to be and he will one day look for the girl who sees him as the man of God that was created to rule in God’s creation. He is not looking for a girl who will compete with him or who feels the need to “put him in his place”. There is plenty of competition and the world is continually “putting him in his place”. He needs a comforter and one who will encourage him. He needs a girl who will believe the best in him and see him for the person that God sees him as. He needs a girl who will stick with him and love and respect him in times of better or worse. A man who believes in the Lord will believe in what the Lord has for him and blessed will be the young lady who becomes his helper, his support and his queen. He will choose her to be his wife and he will be her husband.

The Lord made men and women to rule. Both men and women are to lead. Each one has their own sphere of influence. The Lord designed for man to rule in the world. A man is born to be a leader. He is to lead not only in the world and in his workplace but also in his home. It does not mean that he is better than anyone, for leadership is a position given by God. A man must first learn to lead and he does so by being under leadership. There is a chain of authority that begins with God. As long as Adam was under God’s leadership and authority then he would rule well. A man who wants to do what is right will recognize and respect authority in others. For this reason, an older man can be under a younger man. A man understands that with authority comes responsibility. A man will respect another man, even if he is younger, by his wisdom and skill in leading and his faithfulness to fulfill his responsibility.  A man was made to lead as the Lord leads and when he does, those who are under him are blessed.

‘He who rules over men righteously,
Who rules in the fear of God,
Is as the light of the morning when the sun rises,
A morning without clouds,
When the tender grass springs out of the earth,
Through sunshine after rain.’ II Samuel 23:3b,4

Women were also made to rule but when Eve sinned the Lord put her under Adam’s authority. The Lord did this to protect her from being deceived again. Girls were never designed to be on their own even when they are older than the “legal” age. They are to go from their father’s authority to their husband’s authority. It is the father who gives his daughter to the man who is to love her and be her leader. For this reason, it is very important that a daughter stay under her father’s authority until marriage. Her father is her protection from boys and later men who would like to take advantage of her. Her father loves his daughter and will not give his daughter to a man who will be abusive.

So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well,  I Corinthians 7:38a

Do understand that a woman can not see through a man but a man can see through another man. Do go to your father for advice on any boy that is interested in you. When your father sees that you are looking to him for advice then he will most likely want to give it. However, if your father thinks that you have already made up your mind to do what you want to do then he will often not say anything. You need your father’s counsel. Other than your decision to become a Christian, the most important decision that you will make will be who you marry. The Lord gave you parents and especially fathers, to help you.