Everyone needs comfort and will seek it out. A man longs for comfort as much as a wife does, however, comfort for a man is different than what is comfort for a wife. A man needs to feel like a man and he is comforted when his manhood and masculinity is affirmed. A man also needs the love and comfort of a female. A man should go from his mother’s love to his wife’s love. For this reason the Lord told the husband to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
A wife completes a man and together they are the image of God. She brings out of a man something that nothing else will bring out of him.
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27
If a man loves his wife then he will be willing to die for her. When he marries his wife he gives her his heart and soul. He makes a total commitment to her because he is taking responsibility for her. The wedding day is a total change for a man. They are no longer two but one and now he is responsible for another. A wife is a gift from God.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
A man needs a wife to comfort him. A wife is a companion to a man. Most men will rise to a higher level in every way when they find a good wife. Marriage is not only union of the body and spirit but union of the soul. A wife becomes a man’s soulmate and he will share his innermost thoughts, ambitions and desires with her. He needs a wife whom he can trust.
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12
One of the meanings of the word “good” means the highest form of love. An excellent wife will love her husband and only do her husband good. One of the meanings of “evil” is to bring grief. An excellent wife will not bring her husband grief. She will be his greatest treasure and will bring him comfort through her quiet and gentle spirit that trusts in the Lord. He will know that she will always be there for him. He can trust her.
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
An excellent wife will be the crown of her husband. A man needs to rule and an excellent wife gives him the right to rule. A wife needs to understand that God made men to conquer and rule and a husband must first believe that he rules well in his home first before he can conquer the world. A husband that has an unsubmissive wife will be frustrated all of his days and will bring her husband shame. Submission is a good thing within God’s will. A submissive wife helps her husband succeed as a father and also in life. A man ruling his family well is so important that the Lord makes it a requirement for leadership outside of the family.
He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?) I Timothy 3:4,5
A husband also needs his wife’s praise and respect. Often a man will put on a facade of confidence but on the inside he feels his own insecurity and failures. He needs for his wife to respect him and praise him. Their children need for her to praise her husband publicly around them. A child’s self worth comes from their father and when a wife praises her husband to her children then she is actually increasing their own worth and confidence in life.
And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6b
A wife also brings comfort to a man through the physical comfort of her body.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19
If every wife understood her husband’s need for comfort and love and met them then there would be few divorces. Divorce begins with the neglect of comfort for each other. A man generally will not leave his wife for any other reason than for the comfort of another woman. Any woman who marries or has an affair with a married man is an adulteress. It will be his destruction but he is blinded by his need for love and comfort. An adulteress is a totally selfish and manipulative woman who cares only for herself and does not even have the capacity to love a man. She will use him and never respect him. She is pretentious in her words and actions.
The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; He who is cursed of the Lord will fall into it. Proverbs 22:14
An adulteress uses the two main needs of a married man to deceive him and lay a trap for him to fall into a deep pit. A man needs praise and he needs physical intimacy. An adulteress flatters a man that she wants to deceive. Flattery and praise sound the same but flattery is manipulative and praise is genuine.
Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your intimate friend;
That they may keep you from an adulteress,
From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:4,5
An adulteress offers to a man what his wife is not satisfying him with, to both of their destruction.
“Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning;
Let us delight ourselves with caresses.
“For my husband is not at home,
He has gone on a long journey;
He has taken a bag of money with him,
At the full moon he will come home.”
With her many persuasions she entices him;
With her flattering lips she seduces him.
Suddenly he follows her
As an ox goes to the slaughter,
Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool,
Until an arrow pierces through his liver;
As a bird hastens to the snare,
So he does not know that it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:18-23
He may no longer desire his wife’s affections because he is bitter toward her.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Colossians 3:19
A man’s eyes may no longer be satisfied with his wife. Generally, a man who is moral before marriage will be moral after marriage. The eyes of man are never satisfied but he needs to learn self control so that he will be satisfied with his wife.
Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20
If he has self control before marriage then it will be easier for him to exercise self control after marriage. A man who wants to have a great marriage and be faithful to the Lord might want to make a covenant with his eyes just as Job did to keep himself pure. A faithful husband needs to do whatever he needs to do to hold himself accountable to God.
I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin? Job 31:1
Also, if his wife satisfies his physical needs then he will not be so easily tempted just as a man needs to satisfy his wife’s emotional needs so she will not be tempted. Marriages are God’s provision for comfort and love for a man and a woman. Marriage gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by if the husband and wife learn to love and comfort each other. It is the most intimate of all relationships and the closest that one can come to experiencing heaven on earth if both are believers in Jesus Christ.
Instructions To A Young Life 