One of the most misunderstood aspects of love is that many think that love is a feeling. Love is a choice of the mind and will and the emotions and feelings will follow. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions and is what allows you to enjoy all of the gifts that God, in His love, gives to mankind. One of His most precious gifts is a lover, friend, companion and soulmate whom you can go through life with and share in the joy of life. Love is a commitment and should be entered into with your mind and your will and if possible, very little emotion. When you make a major decision in life, such as, where you want to live, or go to school, or what career you want to pursue, then you use your mind. With your mind you try to make the choice objectively so that you can see clearly. How much greater is the decision as to whom you will marry and share life.
If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15
The most important qualification for a marriage partner is who the other person chooses to serve. If you are a Christian and they are not then you will be miserable and they will be unhappy also because you all will not be of the same mind. They will have their god ad you will want to love the Lord God. You will not be able to share your greatest joys with the person who serves a different god. Who you serve is who you will love. Love is a choice in the God whom you choose to follow and worship. Whoever or whatever is your god will be the center of your life. If a person is self centered then they want to be their own god. If money is a person’s god then that will be the motivational factor in their life. If the Lord Jesus Christ is your God then you will want to please Him. No one can serve two masters and a marriage and home can not serve two masters. You will hate his god and he will hate your god if you both do not have to same Master in life.
No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. Matthew 6:24
You and your spouse must be of the same mind, otherwise there will not be unity. If you both are on the same page with the same mind then there will be little disagreement when it comes to decisions, and especially major decisions.
Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. I Corinthians 1:10
You both will want to have the same purpose in life, which means that you will be going in the same direction overall. Everything that you do will be towards the same goal. When you have the same purpose in life then each one of you will help the other achieve their unique calling and purpose in life and you both will complement each other rather than hinder one another. Each victory will be both of your victories and each sorrow will be shared. You will not cry alone.
make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Philippians 2:2
The more united that two married people are then the more each individual will achieve their full potential in life. The happier each one will be, will be directly proportional to the sameness in mind, the uniting of love and the oneness of purpose. However, all of this is only possible if both in the marriage are of one spirit. Two people can only be of one spirit if they are spiritually alive. Only Jesus Christ can make a person spiritually alive. When two people become spiritually alive then they have the capacity to be of one soul with each other. It is during the pre-marriage phase of a friendship that two people discover whether they are meant for one another. You must see the other person objectively for each of your own benefit.
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? II Corinthians 6:14,15
Marriage is one of the greatest joys when it is done God’s way. The sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage and the only way that you will know if God brings you together is when you come to the altar to say your vows to God. He brings two people together and joins them. If you enter into physical intimacy before marriage then you will not see clearly if this person is the one. You are only robbing yourself of another one of God’s gifts and you are also blinding your own eyes to what you need to see in the other person. Once two people become physically intimate then they can no longer see objectively.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:6
Marriage protects the love. The vows are made to keep us faithful to our spouse. The vows are made to God and vows made to God can not be broken. They must be kept. If they are kept then both of you will be blessed and both of you will grow in the love of the Lord. Life and marriage were made to be sweet and they can be, but only, if you follow the instructions of the One who is the Author of life and the Giver of good gifts.