Tag: #women

A Life that Does Not Give Away Intimacy

There is a saying, “If the milk is free why buy the cow?”. There are certain gifts that have been given to us and that a young lady should not give away except to the right person at the right time. She should not give away her body to men but it is to be saved for her husband alone and only should be given to him after he has taken her in marriage. Marriage is a man’s commitment to a young lady to love her, to cherish her, to protect her, to provide for her and ultimately to lay down his life for her. Many a man will make promises to get what they want and then once they have gotten their desires then they never fulfill their promises. Engagement is not marriage and the same rules for dating apply during the engagement period.

I Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition but it is a 100/100 relationship. Each one gives all of oneself to the other so that they might become one. However, what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to abstain from sexual relations before marriage and wrong to withhold from each other after marriage. There is a saying that girls that do “it” before marriage don’t want to do “it” after marriage so it is foolish for both to compromise God’s standard of morality. God is not mocked. He has His standards for our good and we are foolish not to abide by what He has said.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Moral excellence is the root of true love in a marriage and it is expressed through waiting until after the wedding to have a physical relationship. If two people are morally excellent in their standards then they will trust each other after they are married. If a man and woman compromise before marriage then the trust will not be there as it could have been had they waited.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

If you have compromised God’s moral standard then it is not too late to repent but there needs to be repentance and though that may be hard it is necessary. Repentance means that you are turning your back on your sin and turning to God. However, you must keep turning to the Lord so that you do not fall back into your old ways. You also must flee from temptation. Temptations are often much stronger if you have tasted of the pleasures of that particular sin. You do not miss what you have never known.

II Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

You can, by God’s grace, keep His standards of righteousness. God is faithful and will provide a way of escape to the one who calls on Him and puts their trust in Jesus Christ.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

 

A Life that Chooses Good Friends

You will become like your friends therefore the most important decisions that you make in life after choosing the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior is who will be your friends. Choose good friends and you life will be blessed. Choose bad friends and your life will be filled with grief. This is one of the most profound choices that you will make in life. The companions with whom you walk through life will influence your other decisions.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Choose only to be with wise men and run from fools. A fool is someone who lives as if there is no God. They may even say that they believe in God but if they are living as if there is no God then they are living like a fool. Run from them.

Psalms 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds;
There is no one who does good.

All of us came into the world with a foolish heart. We must turn away from our foolish ways and turn to the Lord with all of our heart. Don’t look at what a person says but at what they do. It is by their deeds that people distinguish themselves.

Proverbs 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself
If his conduct is pure and right.

In the same way, the kind of friends that you attract will be the kind of people whom you are attracted to. Is your life pure and right? It is not only by their deeds that a person distinguishes himself but also by his type of speech.

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves purity of heart
And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

Choose only friends who desire a pure heart. Those who want their heart to be pure will be discerning about where their eyes go and what their ears hear. What goes into  the heart of a man is what comes out of him and what comes out through his mouth is what defiles him.

Mark 7:20 And He was saying, “That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.

It is those who have a pure heart who will see Jesus.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Our greatest need in life is to see God for all that we do in life is a response to our view of God. If our view is right then our conduct will be upright. If our view of God is twisted then we will be crooked in our ways. If we choose friends who do not know God or do not see Him then they will lead us astray and we will forget our God.

I Corinthians 15:33 Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad.

Choose good friends and choose to be a good friend to others. Friendship means speaking the truth in love.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

If your friends are good then they will point you to Jesus and help you stay on the right path. Sometimes they might tell you what you don’t want to hear but it is much better than to have friends who will always tell you what you “want” to hear. Our hearts are deceitful so we need others in our lives who will help us in our times of weakness and temptation. The temptations will pass and the blessings will follow if we are faithful.

Proverbs 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

 

 

 

 

A Life with The Few

The choice is yours whether to be with the few who choose to live right or the many who choose to live according to their fleshly desires. The only way that you can live right is to choose Jesus and if you don’t then you will sooner or later choose to make the wrong decisions. You will be deceived by your own desires.

Matthew 7:14 For the gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

The Lord gives you the opportunity to choose Him now. He is knocking on the door of your heart.

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

If you do not choose to follow Jesus Christ now then the day will come when you will want to but it will be too late. You will knock but no one will answer.

Luke 13:22-28 And He was passing through from one city and village to another, teaching, and proceeding on His way to Jerusalem. And someone said to Him, “Lord, are there just a few who are being saved?” And He said to them, “Strive to enter through the narrow door; for many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. Once the head of the house gets up and shuts the door, and you begin to stand outside and knock on the door, saying, ‘Lord, open up to us!’ then He will answer and say to you, ‘I do not know where you are from.’ Then you will begin to say, ‘We ate and drank in Your presence, and You taught in our streets’; and He will say, ‘I tell you, I do not know where you are from; depart from Me, all you evildoers.’ In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but yourselves being thrown out.

There will be much weeping when you see others but you yourself will not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Many are called but only a few respond. Just as in the days of Noah, there was eating and drinking but no thought of tomorrow. It was seize the day and eat and drink.

I Peter 3:18-22 For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison, who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water. Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.

Many are seeking God but do not know the way to Him. This harvest of seekers is plentiful and He expects those who have received salvation to share the Gospel with others. The Gospel literally means “good news” and the goods news is that the Lord wants all to be saved.

Matthew 9:37 Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.

He also wants His children to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which we have been called.

I Thessalonians 2:12 so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

The Lord has called us to be His bride and the bride is to adorn herself in white. Those who have been faithful to Him will be counted worthy to walk with Him.

Revelation 3:4 But you have a few people in Sardis who have not soiled their garments; and they will walk with Me in white, for they are worthy.

The Lord never said that it would be easy but He does say that it will be worth it. Where are you in your journey? Have you responded to His call to become one whom He has chosen to be His? If you have responded are you sharing the good news of the gospel? How are you doing in your walk with Him? Are you walking in a manner worthy of Him? It is not too late to respond to Him and surrender your life to Him. He will put you on His path and will help you walk with Him in a manner worthy of the great calling to be His bride. He loves you.

Revelation 19:7,8 Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

A Life with A Great Love

Love is the greatest of all gifts and without love a person will die. They first will die in their soul and then their body will die. We all need to be loved and we can not truly love others unless we ourselves are loved.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13

It is love that gives our lives significance and worth. The greater the love, the greater the worth and significance a person feels.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and we are. I John 3:1a

The greater the cost of the love reveals the worth of the love.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

Love must come from the one who loves for it to be unconditional love. Otherwise, it is a selfish love, that is a “I love you because…” of what you can do for me or what you can give to me. A selfish love is not really love because once the condition is gone then the love is no longer there.

…for God is love. I John 4:8b

The Lord is the only One who has perfect love. His love is unconditional. Unconditional love is not based on the object of the love but it flows from the one who loves. There is no other love as the love which God has for us. A new word had to be created when God came to earth through Jesus Christ. The love that God showed to the world is “agape” love. It is a love that was shown to mankind on the cross. It is a love that gave when the recipient did not deserve it. It is a love that can not be comprehended except through Jesus Christ.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

The Father sent His only Begotten Son to die for us when we were helpless.

For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. Romans 5:6

There was nothing that we could do to save ourselves. There was nothing that we could do to help ourselves from the judgment that each one of us deserves. There may be degrees of the expression of wrong that each of us does but each one of us has sinned against God in some way or form. The Lord made man upright but man, himself, has failed to live an upright life.

Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices. Ecclesiastes 7:29

Everyone has messed up. As hard as anyone can try, he can never live up to perfection. He will always fail.

Indeed, there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and who never sins. Ecclesiastes 7:20

The Lord in His great love for us knows that man has failed and so He made a provision for man at His own expense. He paid for our failures with His own payment.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. I John 4:10

Propitiation means that God satisfied the payment for our failures. It is a legal term meaning that He took care of the justice that was due to us. The judgment that was ours, He took on Himself and experienced the punishment that we deserved.

knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. I Peter 1:18,19

Jesus Christ paid for our sins through shedding His blood on the cross. He died for everyone. He died for each one of us so that each one of us could live forever. Death was never in God’s plan for mankind. Life was His plan and He made it possible through His death, through which He offers us the gift of life.

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10b

Jesus Christ offers this gift of life to everyone. Each of us messed up and earned death but because of the great love of God, He offers the gift of life to everyone.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

Eternal life is a free gift. There is nothing we can do to deserve it. There is nothing we can do to pay for it. There is nothing we can do to earn it. However, we must receive it as a gift.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

The way that we receive this gift of eternal life is to pray and ask Him for it. We do this by calling on His name. When we confess the Lord Jesus Christ with our mouth and believe in our heart we will be saved.

that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:9-13

The Lord Jesus says that not only will we be saved and given eternal life and but He promises an abundant life and a life where we will not be disappointed. These are amazing promises that are offered to everyone but only experienced by those who receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. He must become our Lord for Him to become our Savior. When He becomes our Lord then He takes away our sin as “He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world”. Then He becomes our Savior then He saves us from our sins, for as it is written, “you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins”.

The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29

She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” Matthew 1:21

See how great a love the Father has offered to us, that we should be His children and be called by His name. This is a love that can only be received. We can not fully understand it. However, when we receive this great love our lives are changed forever. We not only receive great worth and significance but we also receive the ability to trust Him. Once we trust Him with our life then we can trust Him with everything else. It is this love that gives us faith and hope. The faith to trust and the hope to believe in Him.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

For it is God’s great love that gives meaning to all things. Without Him we can do nothing.

Love never fails; I Corinthians 13:8a

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:13

A Life of a Fulfilled Woman

Of all of God’s creatures women are the most beautiful of all. Man sees women as beautiful when he has the right perspective of her. When Adam first saw Eve he was so in awe of her and her beauty. The Lord made woman beautiful on the inside and the outside. Eve was made for Adam.

Genesis 2:18a Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone;

The Lord made woman from man and for man. She was a gift to man from the Lord to be his friend and bring him companionship, to love him, to want him, to respect him, to honor him, to help him, to respond to him and to be his wife and to bear his children.

Genesis 2:21-25 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

A man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they are to become one in spirit, soul and body. When it is done God’s way then it is the most intimate and vulnerable but trusting relationship in the world. A man is to cherish her and prize her above all of his gifts from the Lord. She will benefit him far more than he can imagine. Together both of them are the image of God.

Genesis 1:26-28 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

The Lord made man to rule and woman to help him rule. She is not to walk behind him as if she is his servant, although she serves him and is called to follow him. She is not to walk in front of him and lead him. He is her head and leads her. She is to walk beside him and is to help him. The word “helper’ means that she will literally be like a savior to him in his darkest hours and need. Not like the Lord is his Savior with a capital letter “S”, because there is only One Savior of mankind and that is the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, but a human savior with a lower case letter “s”. She will be that important to him and he will be blessed.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

The Lord has called her to be like a savior to him and the Lord has called her to treat him like her lord. It is the same word as Lord when referring to the Lord Jesus Christ but the husband is the lord with the lower case letter “l”. Jesus Christ is her upper case Lord, for He is Lord of all. He will be that important to her, for he is to protect her and provide for her, and she will be blessed.

I Peter 3:5,6 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

Women don’t have to talk to be heard. Her influence is far greater than her words. If she is the beautiful, godly woman that God created her to be then her life will speak volumes and will be heard by many. Not only will she be a joy to her husband but the influence in her children will bring blessing to the world. She will be a friend to the needy, a comfort to the hurting and a light to the blind. Only the Lord can make and shape a woman to become all that He has meant for her to be. When she puts herself in His hands and allows Him to mold her and shape her then she will find her total potential and fulfillment. She will not want to be like anyone else because the Lord has made her unique and everything about her is special.

Isaiah 64:8 But now, O Lord, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand.

A woman is wise to keep herself pure and not reveal her heart too early or her body too much for the Lord gave woman a mystique that only she has and each woman’s mystique is different. A man wants a wife that no other man has known or knows so that she can be his secret and so that he alone will know all the special intricacies about her. It is never too late to become that woman for the Lord alone is able to make us new. If you have compromised in the past then today is a new day. He can make you new and the old things pass away. When He makes you new then He gives you a mystique that is special to you.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

Keep it special only for the man that the Lord has for you. He made one woman for one man and one man for one woman. It is never too late to begin again. He did not come to judge you but to love you but you must live according to His instructions in His Word.

John 3:17 For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

Let Him be your Savior and Lord today. Come to Him and begin a new life in Him. If you are married, then come to Him and allow Him to be your Lord and Savior and the head of your home. Even if your husband is not doing it right then the Lord can work with him. You be the person He created you to be. He is faithful and will not disappoint you.

Romans 10:9-13 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

 

 

A Life with Kindness

Do you want your life to be filled with kindness? This is one of the most simple to understand yet most profound of all the truths in the Bible. It is also brings great blessing to the one who does it.

Luke 18:25a With the kind You show Yourself kind;

The Lord is kind and if you are kind then you will experience His kindness. Not only will you experience His kindness but you will be like Him and your reward will be great.

Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.

Kindness is not necessarily deserved by the one who receives it but it comes to even ungrateful and evil men because kindness comes from the one who gives it. Kindness is of the Lord and when we are filled with His Holy Spirit then kindness will flow from us towards others.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Kindness will give you favor with men and with God. The only way that we can continually be kind is if we walk with the Lord. He is kind and His kindness fills us when we walk with Him. The more you show kindness then the more you see it and the more you want to be kind to others.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Do you want favor in life with God and with others? Learn to be kind. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to ways that you can be kind. Ask yourself about your actions…are they kind and are they true? If your words and actions are kind but not true then don’t say or do them. If they are true and not kind then don’t say or do them. Your life and example is what you will eventually teach your children in the way that they relate to others.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Do you always want to have friends? The learn to be kind. The Bible says that what is desirable in a person is kindness.

Proverbs 19:22a What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

If you want to have a marriage filled with kindness then marry a kind man. If you do, then your marriage will be sweet to you and your home will be comforting to your children.

 

 

 

A Life that Understands God’s Design for The Wife

God’s ways are perfect and they are good. The Lord gave us marriage as a gift and for our good. God’s design is for the husband to love and honor his wife and for the wife to respect and love her husband. A husband needs to be respected and a wife needs to be loved. If a husband loves his wife then his wife will want to respect her husband and in the same way, if a wife respects her husband then the husband will want to love and cherish his wife. Together they are a picture of God’s relationship with His people, which is a love relationship. When we live according to God’s ways then we will know significance and worth and feel secure and free. When we follow His ways by faith then we receive understanding. Often we want to understand first and then follow but we are to “trust and obey” the Lord and then we receive understanding. The husband is not to “lord over the wife” and the wife is not to “go her own way”. The Lord has made the husband and wife to be one. It is the most intimate of all relationships and when experienced according to God’s design it becomes the sweetest of all relationships and brings much comfort and joy to both the husband and wife. They each need the other. It is true that “it is not good for man to be alone”. This applies to both men and women. Even though sometimes the Lord gives the grace for someone to not marry, it is God’s design for most to marry. I hope that this post will bring you encouragement and instruction on how to have not only life in your marriage but an abundant life in your marriage. Jesus Christ came that we might not only have life but an abundant life. He loves us and gave His life for us that we might know love, peace and joy, which comes through Him. This post is God’s design for the wife in the marriage.

A wife is a gift to her husband. So much so that the Lord uses the word helper in Genesis 2, which can also be translated savior. It is the only time in Scripture that word is referred to a person. Every other time that word refers to God.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

That is how important a wife is to her husband. When she is a godly wife then she is truly like the Proverbs 31 wife and she “does him good all the days of her life” and “the heart of her husband trusts in her and he has no lack of gain”. She does not bring her husband grief but she is so valuable to him that he not only desires her but he needs her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

The second word the Lord uses is that she is “suitable” to him. This word means in the Hebrew that she is to “correspond to him”. When the word correspond is broken down then it literally means “cor” and “respond”. She is to respond to his heart, since “cor” means heart. This is a beautiful picture of God’s people (the church) as we are to be like King David and be a people after God’s own heart. 

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

There are truths in God’s Word concerning marriage that are often overlooked. One of these truths is that “moral excellence” is the root of true love. A wife longs to feel loved by her husband. If she feels loved then she will want to do anything to please him because that is how the Lord has made her. However, if a couple has compromised morally before their marriage then they have sown seeds of destruction that are manifested after their marriage. This truth is found in II Peter 1. The Lord tells us seven characteristics that we must have if we want Christian love in our relationships. The first is to supply moral excellence.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. II Peter 1:5-7

It is the female that allows a man to touch her in ways that are reserved for marriage. The Lord instructs the man not to “touch” a woman in Corinthians. The Lord says that it is not good for a man to touch a woman. The word “good” means the highest form of love. So, the way a man shows love to a woman is to wait until marriage to touch her. This is important because once there is touch in a relationship between a man and a woman then the relationship changes. She has given part of herself to the man. Not only has the relationship changed in that way but also the female begins to be deceived. She can no longer see clearly.

Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1

There is another truth important in marriage relationships and this truth is to protect the female, especially when she can’t see clearly. This truth is in Corinthians that “the father gives the daughter away” to the man she is to marry. He transfers the authority and responsibility to the “husband to be” at the wedding ceremony. Since a woman is so easily deceived she is to never be out from under protection and authority. Her father is her protection from the Lord before marriage and her husband is her protection from the Lord after marriage. Sometimes when a wife does not feel loved by her husband then she needs to ask herself these two questions: “Did we morally compromise before marriage?” and “Did my father want me to marry him?” She may say to herself that her father did not say anything but that is usually because he knew that she would do it anyway. These truths are very important to understand because a female can never see through a man. She needs her father to see the man for who he is. A father will not want to give his daughter to a man that he does not approve of for his daughter. This truth is also very important to understand from a female point of view. If she violated these truths then she married this man out of disobedience and wanting to “go her own way” and then when she wants to leave him because she does not feel loved then the disobedience is continuing and now she wants to “go her own way” again. If she can get someone who has authority in the church to say that she can leave her husband then it seems that she has approval to leave her husband.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,  so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

However, the Lord has given the responsibility to older women to teach the younger women to “love their husbands”. An older woman can see through the manipulative tactics of another woman whereas a pastor can not. The Lord has made men to protect women and often a woman can appeal to that aspect in a pastor so that he will tell her that if she is being abused then she should leave her husband.

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. I Corinthians 7:10

Even if a woman is in a marriage that is difficult then the Lord has given her clear instruction on what a wife should do. He says in I Corinthians 7:10 “But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband”. This is very clear and straightforward. She is not to leave. When a wife leaves her husband then she is relieving him of the responsibility of marriage that comes with the authority that God has given to him. She is getting out from her God given authority. She is allowing herself to be influenced and deceived by the evil one. She has no protection from the lies that she hears in her heart and the lies that she hears from others. She has opened herself up to much greater pain and grief. It is very rare that a man will abuse a woman that he respects. She sowed the seeds of disrespect before they were married. However, the marriage is not hopeless, for with the Lord, there is always hope.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. I Peter 3:1-6

The answer is not for her to leave. Rather the answer is for her to apply I Peter 3: 1-6 This passage is very important to understand when the first four words are understood. “In the same way” is referring to being mistreated as Jesus was and to do what Jesus did, if we are His follower. Jesus was reviled and suffered greatly. However, He kept entrusting Himself to Him to judges righteously. The Lord will deal with a husband who mistreats his wife. It is important to understand that nearly every wife will “feel”  mistreated at some time or other and some will feel “abused”. Whether she is suffering unjustly or justly the Lord will help her. Women can be very sensitive to things that a man is totally unaware of and she may feel unloved and unappreciated. Sometimes a man has to learn how to “love” his wife. If a woman responds to her husband in a God given way then he will learn how to live with her in an understanding manner. This is crucial for a husband to understand as each wife is uniquely made.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way…I Peter 3:7a

The next truth in the I Peter 3:1-6 passage is that she is to submit to her own husband. She is not obligated to submit to any other man. A woman can only submit and respond to one man. The expression of her submissiveness to her husband is obedience, “being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord,”.

Jesus Christ is a wife’s LORD and her husband is her lord.

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:24

Submission is obedience. Obedience is the expression of submissiveness. They are hand and glove. This is very important as a woman may be tempted to say to herself, “I am submitting to him but I don’t have to obey him”. The Lord has called her to not only submit but to obey her husband.

The Lord says that a woman is not to say that she made a mistake in marrying the man.

Do not let your speech cause you to sin and do not say in the presence of the messenger of God that it was a mistake. Why should God be angry on account of your voice and destroy the work of your hands? Ecclesiastes 5:6 

What are the works of her hands? It is her children. One of the reasons why the Lord says that He hates divorce is because of what it does to the children.

This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.” Malachi 2:13-16

How many children have been hurt by divorce? How it must grieve the heart of the Lord. What is the answer for the wife if her husband mistreats her? She is to keep her marriage vow.

When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! Ecclesiastes 5:4,5 

The marriage vow is made to God. It is not ended until death. Even it one of the married persons is unfaithful it does not nullify the marriage vow of the other. The Lord gives instruction on what a wife should do if she does leave her husband.  

(but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), I Corinthians 7:11a 

Again, the Lord speaks to this issue in His Word.

But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. I Peter 2:20b

Many struggles in marriages come from not following God’s blueprint for marriage. However, He says that when His ways are not kept then grace abounds. Grace abounds to do the right thing. This grace is not a freedom to do what we want or “as a covering for evil”. This grace is the ability to live in obedience to God’s ways.

but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, Romans 5:20b

The Lord says in His Word that, “God meets the one who delights in doing righteousness”. Righteousness is doing it right, which is obeying His commandments and living God’s way. Another verse is “the work of righteousness is peace and the service of righteousness is quietness and confidence forever”. How wonderful it is when God’s people live according to God’s ways. There is peace in the home and grace truly reigns through righteousness, that is, living according to God’s blueprint.

so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 5:21b

It is only by God’s grace that a husband and wife can learn to “consider one another more important than themselves”, which is the attitude that characterized Jesus Christ. The biggest enemy to love is selfishness and it is only in Christ that someone can learn to love in an unselfish manner. When this is done in the marriage then this couple experiences the greatest of all loves and they become a fragrant aroma of God’s love to all who know them.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, Philippians 2:3-5

A Life that Has Victory Over Temptation

Temptation is something that we all struggle with and we are sorry when we give into temptation. There is something within that tells us right from wrong. If we give into temptation then over time wrong will no longer seem wrong but will seem right and then we end up self destructing. We can see it clearly in others but the wrong that we ourselves do has blinded us to our own destruction.

James 1:14,15 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

The word “lust” in the Greek in this verse literally means desire. A desire that is outside of God’s will and standards is a lust. It can be overeating, laziness, sex, drinking and anything else where we want to indulge our flesh and we know that it is wrong. When lust is conceived it gives birth to sin and when sin is accomplished it brings forth death. Do not be deceived. Sin brings forth death and with death comes defeat, guilt and regret.

James 1:16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.

The devil wants you to sin because he wants you to experience death and destruction. Sin brings destruction to soul and body. The devil came to destroy you. He is a thief. He wants to rob you of your worth, peace, joy, and everything else that is good.

John 10:10a The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;

The devil only uses one weapon to get you to sin and that is a lie. He is the father of lies and he continually tells you lies hoping that you will be deceived and believe one of his lies. He will want you to think that whatever that temptation is, that if you will do it then you will be happy. He will appeal to your flesh, your eyes and the boastful pride of life. He will also tempt you to take things into your own hands to even meet your own needs. If he can get you to compromise for any reason then he has won the battle. If you are a Christian then he has lost the war, for you belong to Jesus, but the devil can still cause you to lose the battles in your daily life so that you will live a defeated Christian life.

John 8:44b He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

If you want to have victory then you must have the truth to identify the lies. The Bible says to resist the devil and he will flee from you. You resist him through the truth of God’s Word.

James 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

When you resist the devil through God’s word then you will see the escape that the Lord has provided for you so that you can flee from the temptation.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

Flee from the temptation but don’t just flee from temptation but pursue righteousness with those who call on the Lord with a pure heart.

II Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Faithful is He who calls you to Himself and He also calls you to become like Christ. He sets you apart for Himself and will complete in you what He began when you first became a Christian and that is the amazing transformation into His image.

I Thessalonians 5:23,24 Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

 

 

 

 

A Life that Speaks Forever

The Bible says that those who listen to the truth will speak forever. After you are gone then what will be the legacy that you leave behind for others to follow? If you listen to the truth then your words will speak forever and bring life and light to those who hear. Listen to the truth so that the words you speak will be truth.

Proverbs 21:28 A false witness will perish, but the man who listens to the truth will speak forever.

Whatever you listen to is what you will speak. You can tell how a person spends their time and who they listen to by what they say. Let your words be truth and let them be said in love.

Luke 6:45 The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

Let your speech be as it were the utterances of God and then the Lord will be glorified. Your words will give grace to those who hear and you will be more like your Lord, for He was full of grace and truth.

I Peter 4:11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God; whoever serves is to do so as one who is serving by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

The Lord is made known to the world through our lives, words and actions. Let others behold the Lord in you and let you be a fragrant aroma of Him to the world. They will behold His glory.

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Guard what goes into your heart with all diligence. For from your heart flow the springs of life. Just as you guard what goes into your mouth knowing that it will either give life to your body or death. So also, what goes into your heart will give life and health to your whole body.

Proverbs 4:20-23 My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body.
Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.

Your words will feed your soul and will also bring life or death to those who hear what you say. You are the one who will eat the fruit of your words. Have you ever chastised yourself for what you said and wish that you could take your words back? That feeling of regret is death to your soul. Have you ever spoken kind and good words to someone and then you were the one who was blessed?

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.

How many times have you thought of the words that someone said to you years ago and they were just what you needed for that moment. A mother’s words will either bless her children or they will bring them grief. Let your words bring life to those who hear them even long after you are gone. Learn now God’s wisdom and fill your heart with His Words so that they will speak forever to the hearts of the listeners.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

 

A Life that Counsels

We all need counselors in our lives and when we have good counselors then there will be peace, quietness and confidence. When there are good counselors in the land then the nation will have peace, quietness and confidence. A good counselor will tell you what is the right thing to do in any given situation.

Isaiah 32:17,18 And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.
Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places;

A life that gives good counsel is a life that listens to the Word of God and stands in the counsel of the Lord.

Jeremiah 23:22 But if they had stood in My council,
Then they would have announced My words to My people,
And would have turned them back from their evil way
And from the evil of their deeds.

The only good counsel is the council of the Lord. What you listen to is what you will give to others. For this reason it is of most importance that a Christian does not listen to the counsel of the ungodly but learns to meditate of the Word of God.

Psalm 1:1,2 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.

You must listen to the Lord’s counsel before you give counsel to others. The Lord’s counsel is often different to that of the world or even “current” Christian counsel. His Word never changes and what was applicable in His Word two thousand years ago is just as applicable today.

Psalm 16:7 I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.

The Lord is faithful and He will counsel you but you should not counsel someone else if you yourself are not listening and doing the counsel of the Lord. In the same way, do not go to someone for counsel who does not have the fruit of an obedient life.

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.

A wise person will grow in wisdom and understanding and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel. The Bible says that a “man of understanding” is one who knows the Lord. A good counselor is one who knows the Lord and walks with Him in obedience.

Proverbs 1:5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

Anyone who plots evil against the Lord, His people or Christianity is a wicked counselor. Stay away from them. They will destroy your life, your marriage, your children and all that is precious to you.

Nahum 1:11 From you has gone forth
One who plotted evil against the Lord,
A wicked counselor.

Give heed to the Lord and what He has to say and listen to godly counselors who counsel you in His Word. Research the counsel that you hear to see if it is consistent with what the Lord says. Don’t walk in your own counsels and do what you want to do. Rather walk in the Lord’s counsels and what He says and do what you ought to do.

Jeremiah 7:24 Yet they did not obey or incline their ear, but walked in their own counsels and in the stubbornness of their evil heart, and went backward and not forward.

As you go forward in your walk with the Lord and grow in the knowledge of Him then He will use you to give godly counsel to others and those who listen will turn to the Lord and learn to walk in His ways. As for you, your life will overflow with great joy and the light of Christ will shine brightly through you.

Daniel 12:3 Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

When you lead others to righteousness then they will know His peace and His quietness and His confidence. They in turn will be a guide to their neighbors and will lead others to Him.

Proverbs 12:26 The righteous is a guide to his neighbor,
But the way of the wicked leads them astray.