#whatislove – Page 27 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love Does Not Judge

Judging someone is the opposite of loving someone. The Lord has not called us to judge but to love. There is only One Lawgiver and Judge.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor? James 4:12

The Lord has called us to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul and mind and our neighbor as ourselves, that is, how we would want someone else to love us. We can not love and judge at the same time. When we are judging someone then we are presuming something about someone else when we do not have all of the facts. We are not all knowing. There is only One who is all knowing and He will judge righteously.

Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. James 4:11

The Lord has called us to be a doer of His word and not a judge of it. If we are only a hearer of the word and not a doer then we are only deceiving ourselves and His truth and love is not in us.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:22

When Adam and Eve sinned they became a judge of God and His Word and not a lover of God and a doer of His Word. They presumed about the Lord and His character and so they hid themselves.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 2:8-10

Adam was afraid because he know longer knew the Lord. His view of God became distorted because of his sin and Adam began making a judgment of God of what he thought God was like. Everything that you and I do is a response to our view of God. Everything that every person in the world does is a response to their view of God. For this reason, our greatest need is to have the correct view of God. God is not who we judge Him to be but God is who God is, whether we know Him or not. When the Bible uses the word “know” someone, it means an intimate knowledge of the person. Adam lost his intimacy with God when he sinned. He no longer knew Him and Adam’s judgment of God became twisted. God is not twisted but Adam’s view of God became distorted and twisted.

With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:26

Only God can cleanse our heart. Our heart becomes clean when we are forgiven of our sin. Only God can forgive us of our sin. Jesus Christ shed His blood on the cross to forgive us of our sin, to forgive us for wanting and trying to be like God. He came to forgive us of judging God and everyone else.

And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. Hebrews 9:22

The correct view of God will only come when our heart has been cleansed and is pure. A pure heart is a heart that by faith is single minded in its purpose to trust and obey God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

The Lord wants to reveal Himself to all of us but He waits until we have drawn near to Him through faith, by His grace, and have had our hearts cleansed through the blood of Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross to forgive us of our sins. He took all of our sins and gave us all of His righteousness that we might once again be restored to a loving relationship with God and know God intimately.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

A Life with Love Does Not Change

Love does not change. If it does then it is not love. God is love and He does not change. There are two things that will not change and it is these two things that give us security in this world and security for all eternity. When Adam and Eve sinned God’s love did not change for them. He loved them as much as he had loved them before. It was Adam and Eve who had changed and they could no longer experience God’s love.

“For I, the Lord, do not change; Malachi 3:6a

It was God, the Father and Jesus, the Son of God who said in the beginning, “Let us make man in our image.”

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26

Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son, equal with God, the Father, and He does not change.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

God’s Word does not change. Those who have put their trust in Jesus Christ have been born again into His family through the living and enduring Word of God. It endures forever and will never change.

for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God. For, “All flesh is like grass,
And all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
And the flower falls off,
But the word of the Lord endures forever.” I Peter 1:23-25a

When God made Adam and Eve, his plan for them was love. He said that if they would keep His commandments then they would live and not die. His plan was for them to live in His love for all eternity. He never designed that they would experience grief, death, guilt, fear, shame, regret, slavery or any of the other horrible consequences of disobeying Him and rejecting living in His love. When they sinned He did not reject them. They rejected God. He still loved them and came up with another provision for them to live in His love. His provision was to be a sacrificial love so that man could “see” how much God loved them. Those who receive this sacrificial love will live forever in God’s love and will never need to hide again.

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:1-3

God loves you and He says that one day He will come back and take those who love Him to the home that He has prepared for them. Jesus Christ said that He would die and rise again from the dead and He did, just as He said. He is risen and and will raise us up also to live forever with Him in His love, just as He says. He is our hope. We do not need to fear. He says that He loves us and God will never lie. We can trust Him and His Word completely. Let not your heart be troubled you who have believed in God and His Word. He is alive and you also will live with Him. God does not change.

A Life with Love Can Be Rejected

Love to the soul is like food for the body. We need it, we long for it if we do not have it and we will do almost anything to get it. This is where many a young person gets into trouble. Looking for love in the wrong places. A price can not be put on love because it is the greatest gift that you can ever receive from another and only a fool exchanges love. God is the source of all love and He offers His love to every single person in the world. The Bible describes the fool as one who rejects God’s love and lives as if there is no God. Adam and Eve rejected God’s love when they chose to live as if there was no God. They disobeyed the God of the universe and thought they knew better than their Creator.

The fool has said in his heart,”There is no God.” They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; Psalm 14:1a

When Adam and Eve rejected God’s love and did not obey the Lord and His command for them they sinned and their hearts became not only foolish but wicked. They received a sinful nature because now they had a sinful heart that was both foolish and wicked.

The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him.
All his thoughts are, “There is no God.” Psalm 10:4

Not only did Adam and Eve not seek the Lord but they hid from Him when they heard the sound of God walking in the garden. The wicked person also will seek to avoid Christians who are living for the Lord. Haughtiness is another word for pride. It is our pride that does not want to need God or seek Him.

Adam and Eve hid themselves because they were ashamed and guilty. When they hid from God they could no longer experience His love for them. His love had not changed but they had changed. Sin does this to us. It changes us and all of our relationships. We become insecure and we not only want to hide from God but we want to cover ourselves up around others. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We have rejected God and His love when we sin and now we are fearful that others will reject us. The most secure people in the world are those who have experienced God’s salvation and live in fellowship with the Lord and obey His commands. They have nothing to fear.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread? Psalm 27:1

A Life with Love that Came Again

It was love that came again to earth when God sent His only begotten Son to reconcile men and women to God and the love relationship with God that God planned from the beginning. Jesus Christ came to restore everything that man lost and He gave even more.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

God gave, for love gives, and the gift of His Son is available for anyone who wants to be restored to a love relationship with God. He came to die that He might give life to anyone who will believe in Him. Those who believe will never be separated from His love ever again.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38,39

Jesus Christ came to earth through the seed of the woman just as God said He would. He was born of a virgin since He is God, Himself.

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God. Luke 1:34,35

Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.

And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men. Luke 2:52

Jesus was made in the likeness of sinful man so that He could relate to our struggles and temptations and yet, He never sinned. Jesus came as an offering for our sin and as a result sin was condemned in the flesh. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, Romans 8:1-3

Jesus had to learn the Word of God and He had to learn obedience. Jesus Christ was faithful to what God had commanded Him. He took the condemnation that we deserved and so we have been set free from the penalty of death. After He died and rose again, making purification of sins, then He sat down at the right hand of God.

When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high Hebrews 1:3b

If we have received Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior then we can come to Him, for He is our high priest, who prays for us and delights in our coming to Him. He sits on a throne of grace and gives mercy and grace to those who come to Him.

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:15,16

God made men and women to be in a love relationship with Him. He never reproved them for their failure to keep His commandment but provided a way for them to be restored to the love relationship with Him. Love does not blame. Love finds a way. Love perseveres. Love pursues the relationship. Love gives. Love sacrifices. God did all of this when He sent Jesus Christ to die for the world, that whoever believes in Him, may be restored to the love relationship that God planned from the beginning. He took everything that man lost in the garden and restores those as well. He not only restores the love but He restores the peace and the joy also. He brings healing to our souls and bodies. He heals our relationships that have been broken through sin.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ II Corinthians 5:17,18a

He is alive today and you will find Him if you seek Him. He is seeking to have a love relationship with you.

For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, I Corinthians 15:3,4

He loves you!

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need to Respect a Woman

Men long for respect and they need respect. Men also need to respect a woman and women need for men to respect them. A man needs a woman but he especially needs a woman that he respects. A woman that a man respects will lift him up to a higher standard of behavior. A man generally will not curse around a lady nor will he act in other crude manners. Her respectful behavior is enough to change him as he observes it and her lack of response to any crude jokes or comments is enough to shame him. A man can be a man with other men and not offend them but a man needs to learn how to act in a loving, respectful manner with females.Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1The word “good” in this verse means, in the original language, the highest form of love.

Understanding A Woman’s Need for Respect

A woman needs respect. A woman’s self worth is affected by how she is treated. If she is treated poorly then she will start to feel poorly about herself. She longs for love and needs love but she also needs respect. Love and respect go hand in hand. If a woman is treated like a queen then she will feel like a queen. If she feels like a queen then she will want to marry a king and feel that she is worthy of a king. If she feels like dirt then she will feel that no king would want to marry her and she will “settle” for far less. A woman’s self worth is one of the most important aspects of who she is. When a man uses a woman in any way then he is neither loving her or respecting her. When a female allows herself to be used then she is bringing destruction to herself. When a man uses a woman then it is like squeezing the juice out of an orange and then discarding the orange. The woman is no longer the same. She is no longer vibrant and feeling healthy about herself because she has been used and rejected. She will often settle for someone “not as nice” as the first man and if she is looking for love in the wrong way then he will squeeze more juice out of her and then discard her. The pattern continues until she is left feeling empty and rejected by men.

but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13b

Salt becomes tasteless when it has been compromised. A woman will be rejected and walked over by men if she compromises her morals and allows a man to touch her in inappropriate places or have premariatal sex. A man does not love a woman that he has sex with before marriage. He is using her for his own selfish desire. Nearly all men who are unfaithful to their wives after marriage had sex before marriage. They did not learn to control their passions before marriage and usually can not control them afterwards. Sex is a physical appetite to a man and he must learn to control his sexual drive. He learns to control himself by first learning to control what he looks at. His eyes get him into trouble and the Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied”. It is important that a female dress in a modest manner that does not direct the man’s eyes to sexually stimulating parts of her body. If she does, she will get attention but not the love and respect she longs for and the attention is only for a moment. If he is stimulated then he will want to touch her in an inappropriate manner and she must say “no” so that he does not get what he wants. It is much better if the boundaries are already established by how she dresses.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

A Life Understanding Man’s Need for Responses

One of the ways that a man will recognize the woman that God has chosen for him is that she will respond to his heart. The Bible says that it was not good for the man to be alone and that God made the man a helpmate who will correspond to him. Cor means heart and so correspond means that she responds to his heart. She learns all about the man and seeks to understand his heart, his needs, his dreams and his desires. She has an innate understanding of the man that God has for her. After they get married she continues to seek to know him and will seek to do what her husband would want her to do for him. This is one of the reasons that happily married couples who have been married for a long time understand what the other is thinking. They have become of one heart and one mind and it happens through seeking to understand each other. The husband is told by the Lord to live with his wife in an understanding manner and the wife learns to understand her husband and respond to his heart. A man learns to live with his wife through her responses to him. If she likes something, such as flowers or candy or gifts then her response teaches him how to please his wife. If he does something that is inappropriate or crude then she does not respond to it and he will quickly learn not to do it if he loves her. In a loving marriage each one seeks to please the other and the husband learns mostly through her responses.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding a Woman’s Need to Respond

A wife communicates her love to her husband through responding to him. Responding to your man is probably one of the most powerful things that a woman can do. A man needs to be wanted by his wife and he feels loved and wanted when she responds to him. She needs to respond outwardly through her excitement at seeing him when he has been away or they have been apart for the day. Most husbands need their wife’s affections through touching and not necessarily in a sexual manner. A man loves to be touched by the woman he loves and it is an affirmation of her love. A man generally will never get tired of kissing his wife and the more kisses that you give him in response to him then he will love it all the more. The man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. Sometimes a female needs to learn to respond and especially if she has been hurt in the past. The Lord will help you if you ask him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4

Understand that God made the man to be the initiator and the woman to be the responder. A man often does not know what the woman is thinking so he tries to understand what she likes and does not like through her responses so that he will know if he should continue to initiate in that direction and in that manner. Before marriage some females feel that they should be “cool” when a young man asks her out or initiates toward toward her but if she is interested in him then she needs to show a response that lets him know. She only needs to respond to what he initiates. If she does not care to be in a relationship then she can say no and that is okay.

The VERY WORSE THING that a wife can do is close off her spirit to her husband and pretend that everything is okay by going through the motions of doing her “duties” as a wife. She is not fooling anyone but herself and she is confusing the man. She is sending a double signal and it comes across very insincere because it is fake. Be honest, if you have been hurt, let him know in a way that is not judgmental or accusatory. Most men honestly do not know or understand females. He needs you but he needs you to help him understand your needs and you need him to understand you.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We all need forgiveness. We need God to forgive us and we need to forgive each other. Marriage is challenging in the sense that it involves two people learning to live in harmony with one another, which means that we have to be kind to each other, tender-hearted with one another and forgiving each other. We can only do this if we have received and experienced God’s great love and forgiveness of our many sins.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need for a Wife

When God created man and the rest of creation it was good. There was not anything to add to it or anything to take from it. The Bible says that God works in such a way so than man would fear (which means a very awe inspiring respect) Him and honor Him. Man was made perfect and all of creation was made perfect so that it was a delight to the Lord. However, the Lord said that it was not good for the man to be alone. It was not good then and it is not good now. A man needs a wife. He needs her support, her companionship, her love and respect and when he has a good wife then he becomes an even better man than he would be alone. Her encouragement, her response to him, her smiles, her affections, her happiness in being his wife inspires him to even greater heights than what he would do alone. An excellent wife is his crown and makes him a king who can conquer much and achieve much when there is peace and harmony in his kingdom.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Understanding What a Man Needs in a Wife

A man needs a wife. If a woman learns to become an excellent wife then she will be greatly exalted for the first thing that anyone notices about a king is his crown. A king’s crown is his glory. A man does not need someone who will shame him. The Bible says that a man will encounter the “reproofs of life” and those reproofs of life are very effective in correcting a man. A man needs his wife’s support, love, intimacy, friendship, companionship and trust. You will be more precious than jewels to him when you become the wife that God wants you to be.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10

Do not be a man’s conscience. A man fights with his conscience and if you want fighting in your marriage and home then that is a sure way to get it.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Work

Understanding Men and His Work

Man was made from the dust, or in other words, man was made from the earth and he relates to the earth. Men do not mind getting dirty when they work because it is a part of work. One of the first things that the Lord gave man to do was to work. He gave him a job to do and that was to cultivate the earth and to name the animals. Men need to work in the world. Men receive their identity and self respect from their work. One of the first things that a man is asked is. “what do you do?”. When a man can take healthy pride in his work that he has done his best then he feels good about himself. A man is at home in the world and he feels at home when he is outside in nature. A man appreciates what he works for. A good man wants to work for what he gets and he does not want handouts. A man respects another man’s work and understands that he needs to be paid for his services. A man needs to be respected in his work and the Lord gave man a job to do in naming the animals and the Lord respected Adam’s work. Whatever name Adam gave to an animal, then that became the animal’s name and the Lord accepted it.

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. Genesis 2:19

Understanding Women and Her Work

Woman was made from a person and she relates to people. She was not given a job in the world to do like Adam was given. Her job was to be Adam’s helper or support. The word “support” literally has the meaning of being something like cement. She is to be such a support to Adam that he knows that she will be faithful and immovable in her support of him. He needs for her to become all that God designed her to be so that he can become all that God designed him to be. A woman gets her identity and love from people. Often as a child, a girl will play with dolls and pretend to be a “mommy” and she will imagine what it will be like when she has her “own” family and home. As she matures she will be sometimes be asked. “do you have a boyfriend?” and when she is older the first question that she is often asked is, “are you married?” or “do you have children?”. Later on in life, she will be asked, “do you have grandchildren?”. She sees herself as who she is in relationship to people and will say that she is a mother or grandmother. If she works outside of the home she will usually go into a people oriented field, such as doctor, nurse, teacher, etc. A woman also can make an excellent business woman but for different reasons than a man. However, a mother who works outside of her home is often torn between her job and her family. When her children are conceived, they are a part of her. She begins to be intimately acquainted with her children even when they are in her womb. When a working mother comes home she will work some more because God made her world to be her home and her home is a major part of her world. No one can take care of her home and children like she can and the Lord made her that way. Just as a man takes pride in his job, so a woman takes pride in her home and her family. She cares about the way her home looks and how her children are fed and dressed. God made her to nurture and to make a home for her family. She does not like dirt and some women will clean and clean their home. A man has to learn these things. It is not natural for him, but if he loves his wife and children then he will seek to learn what is important to his wife in the home and with the children.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

Understand that men and women are different. They were each made unique and they are wired differently. One is not better than the other but they are very different. Their longings, desires and needs are different. The more you understand the needs of a young man then the more you will be blessed and the less you will be hurt. You will be far more satisfied when you learn to appreciate the differences and not try to make men like women nor women like men. A man is happiest when he is fulfilling his calling as a man and a woman is happiest when she is fulfilling her calling as a woman.

A Life Understanding Boys and Men

Do Receive Understanding

As with anything, if you want to understand a subject matter then the best way to understand it is to go to the one who created the subject. The one who created anything can give you the greatest understanding, not only “about” the subject but the understanding of the “manner” of the subject.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

If a girl wants to understand boys or if women want to understand men then they must go to the One who created man in the beginning. Not only will He give them understanding but He will give them instruction (which is wisdom) on what to do and what not to do so that they may not get hurt. Many girls and women have been hurt by boys and men simply because they did not understand boys and men.

Do Not Trust Your Own Understanding

Do not trust your own understanding of males of what you think they are like. A female will look at a male through their own perspective and try to “figure” him out. A male is made completely different than a female. He thinks completely different than a female, he acts completely different and he does not have feelings the way a female does. Neither a male or female is right or wrong but they are different and will have different perspectives, thoughts, actions and reactions to the same situations. Do not trust in what you think you should do or in what your friends think you should do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Do trust in the Lord with all of your heart and go to the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and understanding. He wants to help you.

A Life with Love Involves the Will

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Man is made up of spirit, soul and body. The decisions that we make in life are expressed through our body but made through our soul. Every decision that we make involves our soul and affects our soul. Love is an expression of the soul. We choose to love with our mind and our will and it affects our emotions. We choose to hate with our mind and our will and it also affects our emotions. We choose to believe with our mind and our will and it affects our destiny. Loving and believing are a choice of the mind and will. When we respond to God’s love and believe in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then our spirit becomes alive. It is in our spirit that we worship and communicate with God. It is with our soul that we communicate with each other. It is with our spirit, soul and body that we love God and love another.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23

When we love God and love another as God has called us to do then our spirit, soul and body are preserved. When we sin against God and each other then we bring destruction to ourselves. Our spirit is made complete in Christ at the time of our conversion, if we are a Christian. Our soul is being made complete through our obedience to the Lord. Our soul experiences life when we do what is right. Our soul experiences death when we do what is wrong. The death to our soul is the sick feeling we have when the guilt comes and all the other feelings of regret. Guilt brings torment to the soul.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

God’s Word can be implanted in our soul and saves our soul. God’s Word gives life to our soul. Just as someone who receives a heart transplant because his heart is not functioning right, so we need to receive God’s Word implanted because our thoughts are not right. We have been corrupted in our mind, will and emotions. When we receive God’s Word into our soul then it transforms our mind, will and emotions so that we will know what is right. Our mind will tell us the right thing to do and our will carries it out. The happiness we experience in our emotions is because we did what was right.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Sin is lawlessness and when we sin then we experience death to the soul.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. I John 3:4

Everyone does just what he wants to do. If a man loves a woman then he will show love to her. Many women try to make excuses for a man when he does not call, come see her, etc. but it is because he does not want to. There are always exceptions when something urgent does come up, but love will always want to make up what was missed. In the same way, many people try to make excuses for themselves about why they do not believe in God and/or do what He wants them to do, but the bottom line is that they do not want to believe in God. They do not want to do what He says. Belief and love are a matter of the will. A person does just what they want to do.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. I John 4:21

The Lord would not have commanded us to do something that we could not do. Every marriage that fails is because someone gave up in their mind and will to love their spouse. Everyone messes up. Love is covering another’s mess. Shame is making it known. We cover up messes with our will and we make messes known with our will. Love is not always easy but it is worth it. When you are committed to loving another then it is only a matter of time before you will make a mess and you will be thankful that the other chose to love you.

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When you are single and live alone then there are not many messes but there is no love. When a married couple have no children then their home is clean. However, there is great joy being in a loving marriage and there also is great fulfillment in having children. Many messes come in relationships but much happiness comes when life is done right.