Author: instructionstoayounglife.com

When I was younger I read in the Bible that the Lord came to give me an abundant life and also that if I would trust Him then I would never be disappointed. These were incredible promises and so I decided to see if they were true. That was almost fifty years ago. What I have written are the truths that the Lord has taught me through His Word and I found them to be true every time. The Bible is the lecture and life is the lab. If a truth does not hold up in the lab then it can not be counted on. Every one was true and I have sought to build my life on these truths. We have a family business and four adult children. I wish that I could give my life to everyone but since I can't, I can share the truths that kept me from needless stress and pain. My marriage is the closest thing to heaven on earth. We are more "in love" than ever before and our children bring us great joy. I realize that not everyone will agree with everything that is written. I did not always agree either until I put it to the test. The Bible says that "wisdom will be vindicated by her deeds". The fruit from these truths have been sweet for me. May you be richly blessed as I have been. If you are struggling with life or with finding and keeping love in your life then please consider reading these posts. They have been tested and are true. If you are not happy and satisfied with life or what you have been doing has not been "working" then please consider what is written in these blogs. https://www.instructionstoayounglife.com is about how to live a life full of meaning, purpose, happiness with peace, quietness and confidence. https://www.howtofindandkeeplove.com is about the greatest love story in history. If you are looking for love and wanting to keep love in your life then please read this blog. These truths and this same love is offered to any who are willing to listen and learn. https://www.adviceforwomenaboutmen.com or https://www.adviceforgirlsaboutboys.com is practical advice on how a girl is to relate to a young man and how a woman is to relate to a man. It is a blog on how to keep from getting hurt and how to have a great love life. If you have any questions then please email me at fafeja@yahoo.com

A Life that is Great in Life

If you want to be the great among people here on earth then you must do what is right and teach others also to do what is right.

Matthew 5:19 Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

The Lord gave us His commandments so that we might learn to do good to others. If we keep His commandments then we will be doing right in life and the outcome will be good towards all who we come in contact with in this life. When we don’t keep His commandments then we are doing evil towards others and the result is that we bring grief to others. When we cause harm to others we are the least in God’s kingdom.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

The Lord has told us how to do good and that is to treat others right and to do it with kindness and not grudgingly and to walk humbly with the Lord. The only way we can live this kind of life is by God’s grace. Grace comes through humbling ourselves before the Lord.

James 4:6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

The Lord meets the one who wants to do what is right. The word righteousness means doing what is right.

Isaiah 64:5a You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness,
Who remembers You in Your ways.

Do you want to be great in life? Then learn to keep His commandments and teach others through your life, words and actions. The Lord will help you. He will meet you and give you His grace. Not only will He do these things for you but He will exalt you. You do not need to seek to exalt yourself. That is pride. Humble yourself before the Lord and seek to do what is right and He will life you up.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

There is none like the Lord. When He lifts you up then you will know that it is the Lord and He will be the One who ultimately is exalted for He alone is God.

Isaiah 64:4 For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.

He alone is worthy of all honor and glory.

Revelation 4:11 “Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.”

A Life with a Love that Can Be Restored

Love can be restored. All of us have failed at loving perfectly and when we do not love then our love relationships are hurt and damaged. When our relationships are hurt then people are hurt and when hurt continues then it breaks relationships and when relationships are broken then hearts and people are broken.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and He alone can give us hope when all seems hopeless. He saves those who are crushed in spirit. When our hearts are broken we must look to Him. He can heal. There must be healing for relationships and love to be restored. If we close off our heart because of hurt then we also close off our hearts to give and receive love. When we close off our heart and do not allow God to heal it then we also become bitter. Bitterness is unresolved hurt that feels like it just happened yesterday, when in fact, it occurred sometime in the past. When we are bitter then we relive the hurt over and over again. Bitterness destroys a person and also hurts those who are close to the one who is bitter. Bitterness creates loneliness.

See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:15

Bitterness comes from not drawing near to the Lord in your pain and allowing His grace to transform you in your pain. Pain does change us and pain can make us more loving, sensitive and compassionate or it can make us bitter. God’s grace takes what could be bad and makes it good for those who love Him.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Once you are healed then your relationships can be restored. Sometimes pain comes from looking to someone to give you what only God can give you. Only God can give you eternal security, perfect love and total protection. Expectations destroy relationships. Even though a husband promises and makes a vow to God to love, protect and provide, a wife must still look to the Lord to be her Lover, Protector and Provider. The Lord will never disappoint her. We will always be disappointed if we look to anyone other than the Lord. He is the only One who can make the promise never to disappoint. Give your expectations to the Lord and allow Him to fulfill them His way.

For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Romans 10:11

In the same way, a husband must look to the Lord. He must not have expectations of his wife, for he too, will be disappointed. The temptation is even greater for the husband to become bitter, otherwise, the Lord would not have given him a specific command to not be bitter.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Colossians 3:19

For love to be restored those who have been hurt must experience God’s healing. For healing to occur they must look to the Lord. Expectations must be given to God. Confession to God and each other must occur. Cleansing of wounds must happen. In a relationship between two humans both people are at fault in some way. Both must humble themselves before God and before each other. Forgiveness must be given and received. We can and do forgive because God has forgiven us. Relationships and love can be restored in Jesus Christ because He forgives and He restores.

But Peter said to Him, “Even though all may fall away, yet I will not.” And Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you, that this very night, before a rooster crows twice, you yourself will deny Me three times.” But Peter kept saying insistently, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” Mark 14:29-31a

Peter failed in his love for Jesus. Peter denied that he even knew him when the test of his love for Jesus came. However, Peter was broken and allowed the Lord to restore him in his relationship with Jesus and Peter went on and became a faithful and great leader for the Lord. He ended up dying for Jesus out of his love for Christ and Peter was faithful to the Lord until the end of his life. His love and his relationship with Jesus was restored. The Lord can reconcile any broken relationship and restore the love in the relationship.

‘Ah Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You, Jeremiah 32:17

Your past failures do not define your life nor do your past failures determine your future.

A Life that is Truly Great

If you want to be truly great in this life then there is one thing that you must do and that is you must do good. Doing good is meeting the needs of others without hurting others in the process. The end does not outweigh the means. If the end is good but the means are not then you have not done anything great but rather you have hurt others. Doing good also will not take from someone else to do good to another. Doing good is kindness done to one with justice to all.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Another way of saying it is that doing good must be done the right way. Doing good does not take what is rightfully someone else’s to give to another, even if they are in need.

Mark 7:27,28 And He was saying to her, “Let the children be satisfied first, for it is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” But she answered and said to Him, “Yes, Lord, but even the dogs under the table feed on the children’s crumbs.”

The Lord is constantly looking for someone who will do good to others. We all are looking for someone who is genuinely doing good.

Psalm 14:2,3 The Lord has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men
To see if there are any who understand,
Who seek after God.
They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt;
There is no one who does good, not even one.

The beginning of doing good is to seek God for He is the only One who is good.

Mark 10:18b No one is good except God alone.

The Lord is looking for someone who will seek Him because apart from Him we can not do any good. There is so little good in us that none of seek God. We all seek after our own interests. Seeking God is a prerequisite to being truly great. Otherwise everything that we do will be for our own self and we can not serve ourselves and others also.

Matthew 23:11 But the greatest among you shall be your servant.

The more good we do and the more that we serve others, rather than ourselves, the greater we will be.

Matthew 18:1-4 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Before you can be truly great on earth you must become great in the kingdom on heaven. The kingdom of heaven is here on earth and dwells within the hearts of the people who have received Jesus Christ as their King, for He alone is King of kings. He is our King and we are His servants. In serving Him we are to serve others and do good to them, just as He came and did good to others.

Acts 10:38a You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good

Do you want to be truly great? Then you must discover the needs of others and meet them through serving. This what it means to be truly great. God is the only One who is truly great and in doing these things you will be more like Him. Doing good is when God meets man once again.

 

A Life with Love Stands Alone

Noah was a man who had chosen the Lord and he was a preacher of righteousness.

and did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven others, when He brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly; II Peter 2:5

Life was very difficult during the days of Noah. The hearts of the people were wicked and there was no restraint to their wickedness.

Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. The Lord said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord. Genesis 6:5-8

Noah was able to stand alone and be faithful during his generation. The Lord was pleased with Noah. Noah listened to the Lord and obeyed by faith. By faith, Noah pleased God and Noah and his family were saved and Noah became a heir of the righteousness which is by faith.

By faith Noah, being warned by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith. Hebrews 11:7

The Lord is still warning of the judgment to come. Those who listen and obey will be saved. Those who ignore God’s warning will perish, just as in the days of Noah.

And just as it happened in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man: they were eating, they were drinking, they were marrying, they were being given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Luke 17:26,27

Jesus Christ is returning just as He said. It will be like the days of Noah when everyone carried on business as usual.

For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. Matthew 24:37

Noah was faithful to the Lord and the Lord was faithful to His promises with Noah. The Lord is always faithful for He can not deny Himself.

If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. II Timothy 2:13

Noah stood alone during a time when it would have been easier to “go along with the crowd”. The Lord praised Noah as being righteous.

even though these three men, Noah, Daniel and Job were in its midst, by their own righteousness they could only deliver themselves,” declares the Lord God. Ezekiel 14:14

For love to be faithful there will be times that love must stand alone. However, we are never alone, just as Noah was not alone. The Lord had His eye on Noah and extended His favor to Noah. The Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth and the One who made the world that He was getting ready to destroy preserved Noah.

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, On those who hope for His lovingkindness, Psalm 33:18

The Lord is still looking to help the one whose heart is completely His. If you have never given your heart to the Lord then know that you still can and you will never regret it.

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars. II Chronicles 16:9

The Lord is God and if He is with you then He is sufficient enough.

If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:31b

He who gave up His only begotten Son, will He not with Him give you all things?

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

The Lord will not withhold any good thing from those who seek Him.

The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing. Psalm 34:10

A Life that Does Not Need to Worry

The Lord knows how fragile we are and our tendency to worry. He tells us not to worry. He makes it very clear and says “Do not worry”.

Matthew 6:25-33 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

The Lord knows that we need food, shelter and clothing. He says “do not worry”. He says that He feeds the birds and that they do not even store up but He feeds all of the birds every day of their lives. Amazing. He says not to worry about our clothing. He knows that we need clothes. He began by clothing Adam and Eve in the garden and He will provide clothing for his children. Do you need shelter? Yes! He will provide for you. All of these things the world eagerly seeks but He tells us to seek Him and His kingdom and righteousness and all of these things will be added to us. God is faithful. Do not worry about His part but be concerned that you do what He has called you to do and that is to be faithful to His commands and instructions to you.

Psalm 37:25 I have been young and now I am old,
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
Or his descendants begging bread.

He also says not to worry about tomorrow. He truly knows how we are made and how tempting it is to worry about tomorrow so He tells us to not even worry about tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Do you have troubles today. Yes, we all will have struggles and troubles but the Lord says that He is a present help in time of trouble.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.

Go to Him with your struggles and trouble. He is not only an eternal Savior but He is a present Savior who will show Himself strong on behalf of those who turn to Him with all of their heart.

II Chronicles 16:9a For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.

 

A Life with Love Lives By Faith

Enoch walked with God. He did not just walk before God but he walked with God. Enoch loved God and God loved Enoch.

Enoch lived sixty-five years, and became the father of Methuselah. Then Enoch walked with God three hundred years after he became the father of Methuselah, and he had other sons and daughters. So all the days of Enoch were three hundred and sixty-five years. Enoch walked with God; and he was not, for God took him. Genesis 5:21-24

The Bible says that after Enoch had his first child then Enoch walked with God. There is something very humbling about having a child. We realize our desperate need for God. When a baby is born we see the marvelous and magnificent hand of God and we want to worship and praise Him. Our heart is filled with much gratitude. We don’t know much about Enoch before his first child was born but we do know that he had a uniquely close walk with God after his first child.

By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; and he was not found because God took him up; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God. Hebrews 11:5

Enoch was a man of faith and he was pleasing to God. He was so pleasing to God that the Lord did not allow Enoch to see death. Enoch walked with God by faith. Faith is what pleases the Lord. Faith is believing and trusting in what God has said and acting on it. Faith is not one of many options but it is the only option for the one who wants to please God and walk with Him.

So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ. Romans 10:17

Faith comes from hearing the word of God.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away. Mark 13:30

Faith is not what saves a person. Jesus Christ is who saves a person and faith is believing in His Word and coming to Jesus Christ for salvation. You can have faith in other religions but they can not forgive you and save you. Saving faith is putting your hope and trust in Him and what He did for all of us on the cross and coming to Him through His promises. Faith is acknowledging that there is not anything that you can do to deserve or work for salvation. It is God’s grace that invites us and allows us to come to Jesus Christ by faith.

For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:8,9

Faith is believing what we can not see. By faith Enoch saw the Lord.

It was also about these men that Enoch, in the seventh generation from Adam, prophesied, saying, “Behold, the Lord came with many thousands of His holy ones, to execute judgment upon all, and to convict all the ungodly of all their ungodly deeds which they have done in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.” Jude 14,15

Enoch did not have any Scripture nor did he have the Law. However, Enoch had the knowledge of good and evil within him and Enoch chose to do good. All of us have the knowledge of good and evil. We do not need someone to tell us what is good and what is evil. Our conscience tells us what is right and wrong. When we listen to our conscience and do what is right then we become more sensitive to right and wrong. When we ignore our conscience and do what we know is wrong then our conscience becomes hardened and we no longer recognize good and evil. Good brings us happiness and evil brings us pain. We have to at first consciously block God out to do wrong but then the wrong starts to seem okay and then the wrong seems to be right. After awhile God does not even seem to exist or He may seem cruel and twisted. When we start to see wrong as right and right as wrong then we no longer can see God for who He really is, a loving and good God.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25.26

Your view of God is not an indication of who God is but is more of an indication of the perversion of your heart.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Enoch had a pure heart and he saw the Lord by faith. Enoch saw the kindness and love of God and so Enoch experienced God’s love.

The foolishness of man ruins his way, And his heart rages against the Lord. Proverbs 19:3

It is man who ruins his own life and his own marriage. Man chooses to go his own way and then in the wickedness of his own heart, man blames God. First, he ignored his conscience and then his heart became hardened and he could no longer see God. Then, to man, God becomes twisted in his mind and he does not want to believe that there is a God. However, God has made man to know in his heart that there is a God but man in his foolishness chooses to live as if there is no God and then he becomes even more foolish and blames God in his heart. He cries out, “why would you do this to me, God?”.

The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; Psalm 14:1a

But God, reached down to man in His great love and loved man when man had turned his back on God. Two of the most powerful words in the Bible are the words “but God”. All of us have foolish hearts. Each of us has gone our own way. But God, did not leave us in our desperate need for Him. He came to us.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

If you have gone your own way and turned your back on God and His great love. It is not too late to come back to Him. He came for you and me. He has demonstrated His love for us when we did not love Him. Jesus Christ came and died and rose again in order that we might be reconciled to God and see Him and His great love for us.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

Just as the Lord took Enoch so that He might not see death so the Lord took the death that we deserved so that we might have life. Enoch lived by faith and trusted in a loving God and he experienced God’s love. We too, when we put our faith in Jesus Christ, will see God in His great love and come to know Him. Then, one day, He will also take us home to live with Him for all eternity.

A Life that Finds Rest for Their Soul

The Lord has made man upright but he has sought out many devices. He made man to know Him and to seek Him. For this reason, the heart of a child wants to pray and learn to talk to the Lord. A child wants to hear the stories of God and wants to know God. A child knows that God is real and when they are told about God then often they will give their hearts immediately to Him.

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

The Lord is God and He has made us to know Him. There will be no excuses when we see Him. He says that He has spoken to us so that we are without excuse. He speaks to us through creation, He speaks to us through our conscience and He speaks to us through people and circumstances.

John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.

The Lord says that not only has He put within the heart of man to know Him and has made it evident to man that He is the Creator and created all things but He has also done things for man that there is no other explanation for it but God Himself.

John 15:24 If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin;

Our sin is basically that we do not come to Him. We hide from God and we try to hide our problems from Him. He knows everything and sees everything.

I Samuel 2:3 Boast no more so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed.

He wants us to come to Him. He loves us and wants us to come to Him so that He can save us from ourselves, our sin and our messes that we have created because we did not come to Him at the first. He wants to take the turmoil in our souls and give us rest. He is gentle and humble of heart.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

A Life with Love Means Becoming One

When two people agree then they can walk together through life without constant contentions and conflicts. When two agree then they have sweet fellowship together. It does not mean that they both don’t have different opinions on nonessentials or different tastes, but they do agree on the major tenants of life.

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? Amos 3:3

God’s design for a love relationship is diversity but unity.

implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:1b-3

Marriage is meant to be a long lasting love relationship of a man and a woman that is characterized also by peace and joy. It is crucial that a couple who plans to spend their lives together in a loving marriage be united in Spirit.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, I Thessalonians 5:23a

There are three aspects of humans and they are the spirit, soul and body. Union of the spirit brings lasting satisfaction, union of the soul brings continual satisfaction and union in the body brings momentary satisfaction in marriage. To have unity in the marriage it must be a union of the spirit, soul and body.

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:14

There must be love in the spirit. If someone has different spiritual values than you, then you will not have unity in the spirit. They will not love what you love nor will they value what you value. There will be a continual conflict of the spirit.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? II Corinthians 6:14

The most important aspect of a relationship is to have the same spiritual values. Our spiritual values is at the core of our being. Your spiritual values define who you are. What you do in life comes out of who you are. Look at the product of a person’s life to see what their spiritual values are. Look at where they spend their time and their money to know what they value. Also, do not allow the other aspects of a relationship to get in the way or go before the spiritual. The physical attraction can blind a person to the spiritual values. Do not allow yourself to become physically involved with someone until marriage. Who you marry is one of the most important decisions in life. You need to see clearly and hear clearly.

being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Philippians 2:2b

Not only is it important to be united in spirit but it is also important to be of the same mind in order to maintain the same unity of love. Being of one mind is the oneness of soul and will allow you and your spouse to become true soulmates. Oneness of soul will bring oneness of purpose in life. When you both have the same purpose in life then you will work together rather than work against each other. Your burdens will be lighter because you have someone who shares them with you. Your troubles will seem smaller and your joys will be much greater when you both are of the same mind and intent on the same purpose.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3,4

Life becomes much sweeter when you and your marriage partner do nothing from selfishness or conceit but each of you consider the other more important than yourself. In a loving marriage someone always has your back. You don’t have to live in a continual me first, survival mode. Each one of you will complement the other in strengths and gifts. A great marriage is like a lifelong dance with each partner learning to live in harmony with the other rather than stepping on each other and hurting one another. A great marriage is when each partner feels like they are the blessed one and that their spouse is the better half. When both people feel this way in a marriage then there is not only a great marriage but there will be great love. Just as two people must learn to dance together in harmony so two people in a marriage must learn to live together in love and unity. It begins, continues and ends with each one honoring the other as more important than themselves.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4

The last aspect of a loving marriage with unity is where there is the union of the two bodies. When a person is sexually intimate with another they become one with that person. It is most important that you are only one in body with your spouse. There will be difficulty in becoming one in body if there is not oneness in spirit and soul. There will be difficulty in marriage if one or both have been immoral before marriage and there will also be struggles if one of the partners has looked at pornography. Anything that is evil in God’s sight will be a thief and rob you of the good gift that He wants to give to you. The Lord says no to what will bring harm to you now and later on in life.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I will dwell in them and walk among them;
And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. II Corinthians 6:14-16

If you want to have a great marriage and walk through life with the sweet companionship and loyalty of another who will love you for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer and in sickness and in health then you must become one in spirit, soul and body. It begins with becoming a Christian and then learning what it means to walk with the Lord in the light of His Word. He will teach you how to love and what it means to become one with another.

I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. John 17:23

When a person becomes a Christian then Jesus Christ comes and lives within them and lives through them. He teaches us to first walk with Him so that we can walk in unity with others. He perfects us in unity as we get to know Him and His great love for us. He came to love us and to teach us how to love others with His perfect love. We can not love with the kind of love that our spouse needs apart from Him. We can’t love, He never said we could, but He can love through us and He always said He would. Marriage makes us aware of our selfishness and our conceit but Jesus makes us aware of His love and His power to live and love through us.

Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:14-16

A Life with No Excuses

Since the Lord created the earth and made it evident to man that there is a Creator then man is without excuse for not acknowledging the Creator. All atheism and agnosticism is a result of not coming to the light that God has given to man. The light of God begins through creation and when man comes to God then the Lord gives him more light.

Romans 1:19,20 because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.

Man is without excuse because the Lord created man to know Him and made it evident within Him. However, if man does not turn to His Creator then his foolish heart becomes darkened.

Romans 1:21 For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

God made man to know Him but when we do not honor Him or thank Him then we start speculating about God. Often it will begin with “My God would not…”. Any speculation about God will only bring greater darkness to the foolish heart that does not turn to God. Finally, the one who does not acknowledge God, honor Him or thank Him will cease to even believe that He exists.

Romans 1:22,23 Professing to be wise, they became fools,and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

The person who turns from God will think that he himself is wise. Once he thinks of himself as wise then he has even less hope than when he was only a fool and turned from God. Now, the wise in his own eyes person will exchange the glory of being made in God’s image and think that he is made in the image of creation, which is a summation of evolution.

Proverbs 26:12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

 

A Life with Love Makes a Promise

Love makes promises and lives by the promise. It is not loving for a man to live with a woman outside of marriage. A woman needs, desires and longs for security. If a man loves a woman then he will give her that security. He does so through a promise. A marriage proposal is a promise to love her and to provide for her and protect her. When he marries her then he begins to fulfill the promise that he has made to her.

I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the earth.” God said, “This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations; I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth. It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth.” Genesis 9:11-17

The Lord loved Noah and all of mankind and made a promise to Noah and his descendants that He would never destroy mankind through a flood again. This promise was God’s love to give mankind security so that man would not be fearful when the rain would come again. The rainbow was the sign of God’s promise never to flood the earth again. The wedding ring that a man gives to a woman when he marries her is a sign of his love for her that he will be faithful to her and love her. She need not be fearful when the storms of life come because of her husband’s promise to her to love her for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health. He will love her all the days of their lives as long as the two of them shall live.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

We can only do what God has called us to do and be who God has called us to be by His strength and grace. Marriage humbles the husband and the wife because they both must look to Him and rely on His strength for the marriage to grow strong and loving.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Marriage is one of God’s provisions for productivity and also from discouragement. Two are better than one and will have a good return for their labor. When one falls the other can lift the other one up. It is a comfort to sleep together with your spouse and especially on cold nights. However, when the Lord is the center of your marriage then your marriage will grow stronger and stronger and even more loving. There is grace that gives forgiveness and there will be reconciliation when one fails and a love that is restored and grows.

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9a

The Lord will give His grace to the husband and the wife to fulfill the vows they made to God and the promises they made to each other on their wedding day. Marriage takes a lot of humility and grace but it is worth it. It is our pride that destroys our relationships and marriages.

and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. I Peter 5:5b