Understanding that Every Man Has One Who Is His Ruler
No man is a law unto himself but every man has One over him who is his head and rules him. The sooner a man recognizes who his Ruler is and submits himself to his Ruler’s laws then the happier he will be. The Lord made every man to be a king but the Lord says that He is the Ruler of the kings of the earth. No matter how much honor, position, rank and authority that a man is given in this life there is still One who rules over him and is his authority. The Lord Jesus Christ is Ruler over every man and He is the head of every family. Someone may well ask, “What if the man does not recognize the Lord Jesus Christ as his authority and ruler?” The answer to that question is that Jesus Christ is the Head of every man and home and whether a man or husband recognizes the Lordship, authority and rule of Jesus Christ, it does not change the fact that Jesus Christ is Lord of all. A man will be miserable and have sorrow in one form or another if he does not submit to Jesus Christ. He will have even greater misery if he mistreats his wife or his children. If a wife or child has put their trust in Jesus Christ and is being mistreated by their husband or father and cries out to the Lord Jesus Christ then the Lord will come and protect them. The Lord is ultimately the One whom we trust and He is very effective in dealing with an unruly husband or father. A wife who trusts in the Lord can submit to her husband because God is greater than her husband and promises to exercise His power in dealing with her husband if her husband does not love her and live with her in an understanding manner.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:22-25
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. I Corinthians 11:3
Understanding What Both Husband and Wife Need to Do
There is an order of authority in the home. It is for our protection and provision. A person under authority can always go to the one who is their authority for protection and provision. With authority comes responsibility. The higher the authority then the greater the responsibility. The Lord is the final authority of which we are all under. However, His provision comes through the one whom He has given the responsibility to. Jesus loved His own who were in the world and He loved them to the end. The Lord has called the husband to love his wife in a sacrificial expression of love. This means that he is to die to himself and his desires in order to love his wife the way she needs to be loved. He is to live with her in an understanding manner. The Lord meets the one who wants to do life right and the Lord will teach the husband how to love his wife and when he becomes a father then the Lord will teach him how to love his children. In a similar way, a woman is to look to the Lord and He will teach her how, as a wife, she is to respect her husband and submit to him and as a mother, how she is to love her children. This is much easier to do if her husband loves her. The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother with a Christlike love. The greatest thing a mother can do for her children is to respect and honor their father. When children grow up in a loving home where the parents love the Lord and love each other then the children will learn to love and respect others also. The children will feel loved because when parents love each other then they will love their children. A person’s relationship with their spouse is an expression of their relationship with the Lord. Do not say that you love God if you do not love your spouse and your children.
If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. I John 4:20
If you want to see the Lord act on your behalf then you must do what He says. He will protect you and He will very severely deal with your husband if he is not treating you right. If you are under God’s authority, which means, that you must live under your husband’s authority and submit to him then the Lord will act on your behalf. The Lord says that He will not hear a man’s prayers if the man does not love his wife and treat her right. The Lord says that He will not accept the husband’s worship if he mistreats his wife. The Lord says that if a man does not provide for his family then he is worse than an unbeliever, who will spend eternity in hell. The Lord says that there are some serious consequences for the husband and father who does fulfill his God given responsibilities. However, the wife and the children will not see God’s love unless they are doing what they ought to be doing. The Lord is the head of every man and the husband is the head of his wife and children. The wife needs to submit to the husband and the children need to obey their father. When they are submissive and obedient to the Lord then they need to cry out to the Lord if there is anything wrong. He will hear their cries to Him and answer them.
For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. I Peter 3:5-7
“This is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Malachi 2:13-14