If sin is what causes love to be quenched then doing what is right will help love to be rekindled and come alive again. Another word for doing what is right is righteousness. Often, the love grows cold because there is guilt involved and our pride makes it hard to say that we are sorry and to ask for forgiveness. We can forgive when we realize the tremendous amount of sin in each of our lives that Jesus Christ has forgiven. Again, it is our own pride that feels that we do not need God and that we do not need to walk in His ways.
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. Matthew 5:22-24
How easy it is to sin with our tongue when we are angry. The Lord says that if we even call someone a fool then there is guilt enough to send us to hell. The Lord says that we all sin with our tongue. Just as He was not mad at Adam and Eve when they sinned but He was sad for them, in the same way, He is not angry with you when you sin, He wants to help you make it right so that the devil does not destroy your marriage. He tells us what to do if we get angry with someone.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Ephesians 4:26,27
Anger is really hurt and if it is not dealt with then it becomes bitterness or wrath, which is stored up anger. Be honest with yourself if what someone said or what they did hurt you. If you said something back then ask the Lord to forgive you and then ask the other person to forgive you. You are not responsible for their actions but you are responsible for your actions. The Lord will help you do what is right. He loves you and wants you to experience love and life. God is a restorer and He wants to see your marriage and relationships restored when they have been damaged or broken.
And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.
Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation,
And in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places; Isaiah 32:17,18
As you learn to do what is right and follow the Lord in what He says then you will find that your home will be filled with peace and the love that you and your spouse have for each other will be rekindled.
Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:7-9
As you learn to love and respond in love, rather than returning evil for evil or giving grief back when you have received grief, then you will reap love more and more. Loving another is a choice and a discipline just like any other virtue. The Lord loves us, fills us with His love and shows us how to love but we must act on what He has given us and shown us. The feelings of love come and go but the one who learns to love faithfully will reap love because He who promised is faithful. Do not grow weary or lose heart, for in time, you will be very thankful and you will see that what He says is true, if you are faithful.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:7,8
If you want to have love in your marriage and in your relationships then you must have the One who is love in your life and marriage. Jesus Christ is God and came to show us real love and bring love into our lives and relationships. Ask Jesus Christ to come into your life today if you have not yet done so and He will bring, restore and rekindle the love in your life.
Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.