One of the ways that a man will recognize the woman that God has chosen for him is that she will respond to his heart. The Bible says that it was not good for the man to be alone and that God made the man a helpmate who will correspond to him. Cor means heart and so correspond means that she responds to his heart. She learns all about the man and seeks to understand his heart, his needs, his dreams and his desires. She has an innate understanding of the man that God has for her. After they get married she continues to seek to know him and will seek to do what her husband would want her to do for him. This is one of the reasons that happily married couples who have been married for a long time understand what the other is thinking. They have become of one heart and one mind and it happens through seeking to understand each other. The husband is told by the Lord to live with his wife in an understanding manner and the wife learns to understand her husband and respond to his heart. A man learns to live with his wife through her responses to him. If she likes something, such as flowers or candy or gifts then her response teaches him how to please his wife. If he does something that is inappropriate or crude then she does not respond to it and he will quickly learn not to do it if he loves her. In a loving marriage each one seeks to please the other and the husband learns mostly through her responses.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
Understanding a Woman’s Need to Respond
A wife communicates her love to her husband through responding to him. Responding to your man is probably one of the most powerful things that a woman can do. A man needs to be wanted by his wife and he feels loved and wanted when she responds to him. She needs to respond outwardly through her excitement at seeing him when he has been away or they have been apart for the day. Most husbands need their wife’s affections through touching and not necessarily in a sexual manner. A man loves to be touched by the woman he loves and it is an affirmation of her love. A man generally will never get tired of kissing his wife and the more kisses that you give him in response to him then he will love it all the more. The man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. Sometimes a female needs to learn to respond and especially if she has been hurt in the past. The Lord will help you if you ask him.
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4
Understand that God made the man to be the initiator and the woman to be the responder. A man often does not know what the woman is thinking so he tries to understand what she likes and does not like through her responses so that he will know if he should continue to initiate in that direction and in that manner. Before marriage some females feel that they should be “cool” when a young man asks her out or initiates toward toward her but if she is interested in him then she needs to show a response that lets him know. She only needs to respond to what he initiates. If she does not care to be in a relationship then she can say no and that is okay.
The VERY WORSE THING that a wife can do is close off her spirit to her husband and pretend that everything is okay by going through the motions of doing her “duties” as a wife. She is not fooling anyone but herself and she is confusing the man. She is sending a double signal and it comes across very insincere because it is fake. Be honest, if you have been hurt, let him know in a way that is not judgmental or accusatory. Most men honestly do not know or understand females. He needs you but he needs you to help him understand your needs and you need him to understand you.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
We all need forgiveness. We need God to forgive us and we need to forgive each other. Marriage is challenging in the sense that it involves two people learning to live in harmony with one another, which means that we have to be kind to each other, tender-hearted with one another and forgiving each other. We can only do this if we have received and experienced God’s great love and forgiveness of our many sins.