A Life with Love Does Not Keep Accounts

Love does not keep an account of the wrong done nor does love reward according to our wrongs. When Adam and Eve sinned the Lord could have turned His back on them. He made it clear to them that they were not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and yet, they went against Him and ate. The first consequence of their sin was that they were naked. This nakedness was different than the earlier nakedness of before they sinned. Before they sinned they were clothed with God’s glory and His light. They were not ashamed. After they sinned they were ashamed because of their nakedness. Even in their sinful, vulnerable state the Lord provided for them.

The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them. Genesis 3:21

Even then after Adam and Eve sinned the Lord began covering their shame. Love seeks to give grace and does not want to see disgrace or shame happen to another, even when they have done wrong. When Joseph thought Mary had done him wrong by being unfaithful the Bible says that Joseph was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her. Love covers shame rather than make another’s shame known to others.

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. Matthew 1:18,19

Love does not repeat sins to either the one who sinned or to others. Love forgives.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

Especially in relationships, repeating a wrong will destroy the relationship and any intimacy that is there. We have all sinned and no one wants to be reminded of their failures.

He who conceals a transgression seeks love,
But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends. Proverbs 17:9

When someone turns to the Lord He says that He separates their sins from them as far as the east is from the west. Since the east and west never meet then we will never have to meet up with our sins if we have trusted in the blood of Jesus Christ to forgive us and cleanse us from our sin.

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

As the Lord has forgiven us we are to forgive others. Only one who has experienced the love and forgiveness of God can live this way. There is no sweeter life than to be free from remembering the sins of others and having the power to forgive others as we have been forgiven. If He forgives and never brings up our sins again then we also ought to do the same with others. Love forgives and does not keep an account of wrongs suffered.

A Life with Love Pays a Price

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden then they brought a curse on themselves. The curse was the consequence of their disobedience and if they will not fight it but submit to the new boundary, which the curse brought, then it would keep them from sinning some more which would bring even more curses. Sin brings a curse. To be set free from the curse someone else had to take the curse that Adam and Eve brought on themselves by their own sin.

To the woman He said,
“I will greatly multiply
Your pain in childbirth,
In pain you will bring forth children;
Yet your desire will be for your husband,
And he will rule over you.”

Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’;

Cursed is the ground because of you;
In toil you will eat of it
All the days of your life.
“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you;
And you will eat the plants of the field;
By the sweat of your face
You will eat bread,
Till you return to the ground,
Because from it you were taken;
For you are dust,
And to dust you shall return.” Genesis 3:16-19

All of us have sinned against God by not obeying His voice and keeping His Law. All of us have received what we deserve and that is the curse of sin and death.

Indeed all Israel has transgressed Your law and turned aside, not obeying Your voice; so the curse has been poured out on us, along with the oath which is written in the law of Moses the servant of God, for we have sinned against Him. Daniel 9:11

Jesus Christ paid the price to redeem us from the curse of the Law and of sin and death. He who did no wrong became sin for us that He might set us free from the power of sin and the fear of death.

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us—for it is written, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”— Galatians 3:13

Jesus Christ redeemed us with His blood through His death on a cross.

knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.

I Peter 1:18,19

We are under the curse that God gave to Adam and Eve until Jesus Christ returns to rule on earth and those who know Him will rule with Him. The Lord gives grace to the wife to allow her husband to rule over her and to bear children in pain. The Lord gives the man grace to work and toil even though there are weeds in every field of work. If man and woman will not complain but thank the Lord for the reminder of the consequences of sin then they will receive a blessing. It is humbling for a wife to allow her husband to rule over her and it is humbling for a man to work with the weeds. This humbling though keeps them looking to the Lord who loves them and is a present help in time of trouble. It is when we rebel against the boundaries that the Lord has put in our life that makes our life difficult. One day we will be set free from these curses. Until then we must learn to trust and obey the Lord.

Then he showed me a river of the water of life, clear as crystal, coming from the throne of God and of the Lamb, in the middle of its street. On either side of the river was the tree of life, bearing twelve kinds of fruit, yielding its fruit every month; and the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations. There will no longer be any curse; and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve Him; they will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. And there will no longer be any night; and they will not have need of the light of a lamp nor the light of the sun, because the Lord God will illumine them; and they will reign forever and ever. Revelation 22:1-5

The Lord invites all to come to Him and to come into a relationship with Him. If any are enslaved to sin or are afraid of death then let him come to Jesus Christ who is life and Jesus Christ will come into their life and fellowship with them. Those who overcome through Christ will reign with Him in the age to come. We come by faith, trusting in His Word and His promises. He said He is coming back. Once He comes back it will be too late to come to Him. We come by faith now.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. Revelation 3:20,21

A Life with Love Does What is Right

When Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden before they sinned they did not need any rules other than the one that the Lord had given to them. They loved God and they loved each other. Their love was perfect for God and for each other because their hearts were pure. They had never known any evil.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

If Adam and Eve had never sinned then they would not have ever needed any more rules or laws to live by. The Lord only gives commandments for our good and our protection. He does not give us commandments to deprive us of anything that would be good for us. The Lord knew that it would not be good for Adam and Eve to come into the knowledge of evil. They would lose their innocence and purity. They would be tempted in ways that the Lord never designed for them to be tempted. The Lord gives the same commandment in the New Testament and that is to not have the knowledge of evil.

For the report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil. Romans 16:19

The Lord wants us to wise in what is good but innocent in what is evil. We need to be mature in our thinking but babies in the knowledge of evil.

Brethren, do not be children in your thinking; yet in evil be infants, but in your thinking be mature. I Corinthians 14:20

When we become knowledgeable in evil then our thinking has become defiled by what we have seen or heard. When our thinking has become impure then we are not holy in our behavior. One sin always leads to another if we do not repent. The Lord has commanded us to be holy, which means that we are to be separate from the world and do what is right in God’s sight. Then we will be available for the Lord to use us.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

I Peter 1:14-16

When we are holy then the world will know that Jesus Christ is Lord.

I will vindicate the holiness of My great name which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst. Then the nations will know that I am the Lord,” declares the Lord God, “when I prove Myself holy among you in their sight. Ezekiel 36:23

When we compromise and do not do what is right then we have lost the power and influence in the world that God designed for us to have with the people who have yet to come to know Him. When those who know God sin then the world may say, “they are no different than me” or “they do the same things that I do so I do not have to listen to what they say”.

Like a trampled spring and a polluted well, Is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked. Proverbs 25:26

Before Adam and Eve sinned they were holy. They lost their holiness and they lost their power. The Lord Jesus Christ came to make us holy. He wants us to be innocent in what is evil. The less we know of evil the less we will sin. The more we know of evil then the more we will sin. Evil does not destroy us unless we do it. There is a difference between evil being done to us and being around evil against our will and us voluntarily learning about evil through entertainment or deceiving ourselves by saying “there is some good in this book, movie, etc.” even though there is also the knowledge of evil. You are subjecting yourself to evil when you voluntarily learn about it through compromise. You are bringing destruction to yourself. When you bring destruction to yourself then you are also bringing destruction to anyone with whom you are in a relationship and especially a marriage relationship. The Lord loves us and gives us instructions and commandments to protect us from destroying ourselves and each other. Love keeps His commandments.

and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30,31

When you love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself then you will have fulfilled all of God’s commandments. You will have loved and done what is right in God’s sight. You will be holy in all your behavior. Your life will have power and evil will not destroy you.

the power of an indestructible life. Hebrews 7:16

A Life with Love Has Great Peace

When Adam and Eve lived in the garden and walked with the Lord in sweet fellowship they enjoyed great peace with God and with each other. There was no drama in the garden and life was good. He only had one commandment for them and that was for their good. As long as they loved God and obeyed that one commandment then they would live in peace forever. When they thought that they knew better than God and did their “own thing” and sinned then they no longer enjoyed peace and they were afraid.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:8-10

Peace and fear can not abide in the same person. When Adam and Eve did not love God by keeping His commandment then sin robbed Adam and Eve of the peace that they knew and replaced the peace with fear. Fear causes us to hide and we no longer experience life as God designed because of our fears. The fears become a snare to us.

The fear of man brings a snare,
But he who trusts in the Lord will be exalted. Proverbs 29:25

Many of our fears are imagined and never come to pass but they influence our lives and cause us to hide. Only the Lord’s love can cast out the fears that we have.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18

As we learn to live in His love by keeping His commandments then we will once again know His presence and experience great peace.

He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him.” John 14:21

The more we love His commandments then the more we will keep them. As we keep His commandments then we will see that they are for our good and the good of those around us. Keeping His commandments brings peace to those who keep them and peace in the homes where God and His Word is loved.

Those who love Your law have great peace, And nothing causes them to stumble. Psalm 119:165

When we love God’s Word then we love the Lord and when we love the Lord then we will love His Word. The Word of God became flesh and lived among mankind in the person of Jesus Christ. He is fully man and fully God. God’s Word and His name are equal. When we love Him, His name and His Word then we will have great peace and nothing will cause us to fear.

And give thanks to Your name for Your lovingkindness and Your truth;
For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name. Psalm 138:2b

Jesus Christ came to not only restore us to our relationship with God but He came to bring us peace. When we are restored to God through Jesus Christ then we experience and know great peace. Nothing can take that peace away.

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful. John 14:27

If someone does not know the Lord then they need to be in great fear for their fears will be realized but those who know the Lord do not need to fear and their desires will be granted because they have put their trust in God.

What the wicked fears will come upon him,
But the desire of the righteous will be granted. Proverbs 10:24

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need to Respect a Woman

Men long for respect and they need respect. Men also need to respect a woman and women need for men to respect them. A man needs a woman but he especially needs a woman that he respects. A woman that a man respects will lift him up to a higher standard of behavior. A man generally will not curse around a lady nor will he act in other crude manners. Her respectful behavior is enough to change him as he observes it and her lack of response to any crude jokes or comments is enough to shame him. A man can be a man with other men and not offend them but a man needs to learn how to act in a loving, respectful manner with females.Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1The word “good” in this verse means, in the original language, the highest form of love.

Understanding A Woman’s Need for Respect

A woman needs respect. A woman’s self worth is affected by how she is treated. If she is treated poorly then she will start to feel poorly about herself. She longs for love and needs love but she also needs respect. Love and respect go hand in hand. If a woman is treated like a queen then she will feel like a queen. If she feels like a queen then she will want to marry a king and feel that she is worthy of a king. If she feels like dirt then she will feel that no king would want to marry her and she will “settle” for far less. A woman’s self worth is one of the most important aspects of who she is. When a man uses a woman in any way then he is neither loving her or respecting her. When a female allows herself to be used then she is bringing destruction to herself. When a man uses a woman then it is like squeezing the juice out of an orange and then discarding the orange. The woman is no longer the same. She is no longer vibrant and feeling healthy about herself because she has been used and rejected. She will often settle for someone “not as nice” as the first man and if she is looking for love in the wrong way then he will squeeze more juice out of her and then discard her. The pattern continues until she is left feeling empty and rejected by men.

but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13b

Salt becomes tasteless when it has been compromised. A woman will be rejected and walked over by men if she compromises her morals and allows a man to touch her in inappropriate places or have premariatal sex. A man does not love a woman that he has sex with before marriage. He is using her for his own selfish desire. Nearly all men who are unfaithful to their wives after marriage had sex before marriage. They did not learn to control their passions before marriage and usually can not control them afterwards. Sex is a physical appetite to a man and he must learn to control his sexual drive. He learns to control himself by first learning to control what he looks at. His eyes get him into trouble and the Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied”. It is important that a female dress in a modest manner that does not direct the man’s eyes to sexually stimulating parts of her body. If she does, she will get attention but not the love and respect she longs for and the attention is only for a moment. If he is stimulated then he will want to touch her in an inappropriate manner and she must say “no” so that he does not get what he wants. It is much better if the boundaries are already established by how she dresses.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

A Life Understanding Man’s Need for Responses

One of the ways that a man will recognize the woman that God has chosen for him is that she will respond to his heart. The Bible says that it was not good for the man to be alone and that God made the man a helpmate who will correspond to him. Cor means heart and so correspond means that she responds to his heart. She learns all about the man and seeks to understand his heart, his needs, his dreams and his desires. She has an innate understanding of the man that God has for her. After they get married she continues to seek to know him and will seek to do what her husband would want her to do for him. This is one of the reasons that happily married couples who have been married for a long time understand what the other is thinking. They have become of one heart and one mind and it happens through seeking to understand each other. The husband is told by the Lord to live with his wife in an understanding manner and the wife learns to understand her husband and respond to his heart. A man learns to live with his wife through her responses to him. If she likes something, such as flowers or candy or gifts then her response teaches him how to please his wife. If he does something that is inappropriate or crude then she does not respond to it and he will quickly learn not to do it if he loves her. In a loving marriage each one seeks to please the other and the husband learns mostly through her responses.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding a Woman’s Need to Respond

A wife communicates her love to her husband through responding to him. Responding to your man is probably one of the most powerful things that a woman can do. A man needs to be wanted by his wife and he feels loved and wanted when she responds to him. She needs to respond outwardly through her excitement at seeing him when he has been away or they have been apart for the day. Most husbands need their wife’s affections through touching and not necessarily in a sexual manner. A man loves to be touched by the woman he loves and it is an affirmation of her love. A  man generally will never get tired of kissing his wife and the more kisses that you give him in response to him then he will love it all the more. The man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. Sometimes a female needs to learn to respond and especially if she has been hurt in the past. The Lord will help you if you ask him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4

Understand that God made the man to be the initiator and the woman to be the responder. A man often does not know what the woman is thinking so he tries to understand what she likes and does not like through her responses so that he will know if he should continue to initiate in that direction and in that manner. Before marriage some females feel that they should be “cool” when a young man asks her out or initiates toward toward her but if she is interested in him then she needs to show a response that lets him know. She only needs to respond to what he initiates. If she does not care to be in a relationship then she can say no and that is okay.

The VERY WORSE THING that a wife can do is close off her spirit to her husband and pretend that everything is okay by going through the motions of doing her “duties” as a wife. She is not fooling anyone but herself and she is confusing the man. She is sending a double signal and it comes across very insincere because it is fake. Be honest, if you have been hurt, let him know in a way that is not judgmental or accusatory. Most men honestly do not know or understand females. He needs you but he needs you to help him understand your needs and you need him to understand you.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We all need forgiveness. We need God to forgive us and we need to forgive each other. Marriage is challenging in the sense that it involves two people learning to live in harmony with one another, which means that we have to be kind to each other, tender-hearted with one another and forgiving each other. We can only do this if we have received and experienced God’s great love and forgiveness of our many sins.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need for a Wife

When God created man and the rest of creation it was good. There was not anything to add to it or anything to take from it. The Bible says that God works in such  a way so than man would fear (which means a very awe inspiring respect) Him and honor Him. Man was made perfect and all of creation was made perfect so that it was a delight to the Lord. However, the Lord said that it was not good for the man to be alone. It was not good then and it is not good now. A man needs a wife. He needs her support, her companionship, her love and respect and when he has a good wife then he becomes an even better man than he would be alone. Her encouragement, her response to him, her smiles, her affections, her happiness in being his wife inspires him to even greater heights than what he would do alone. An excellent wife is his crown and makes him a king who can conquer much and achieve much when there is peace and harmony in his kingdom.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

Understanding What a Man Needs in a Wife

A man needs a wife. If a woman learns to become an excellent wife then she will be greatly exalted for the first thing that anyone notices about a king is his crown. A king’s crown is his glory. A man does not need someone who will shame him. The Bible says that a man will encounter the “reproofs of life” and those reproofs of life are very effective in correcting a man. A man needs his wife’s support, love, intimacy, friendship, companionship and trust. You will be more precious than jewels to him when you become the wife that God wants you to be.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10

Do not be a man’s conscience. A man fights with his conscience and if you want fighting in your marriage and home then that is a sure way to get it.

A Life Understanding a Man’s Work

Understanding Men and His Work

Man was made from the dust, or in other words, man was made from the earth and he relates to the earth. Men do not mind getting dirty when they work because it is a part of work. One of the first things that the Lord gave man to do was to work. He gave him a job to do and that was to cultivate the earth and to name the animals. Men need to work in the world. Men receive their identity and self respect from their work. One of the first things that a man is asked is. “what do you do?”. When a man can take healthy pride in his work that he has done his best then he feels good about himself. A man is at home in the world and he feels at home when he is outside in nature. A man appreciates what he works for. A good man wants to work for what he gets and he does not want handouts. A man respects another man’s work and understands that he needs to be paid for his services. A man needs to be respected in his work and the Lord gave man a job to do in naming the animals and the Lord respected Adam’s work. Whatever name Adam gave to an animal, then that became the animal’s name and the Lord accepted it.

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. Genesis 2:19

Understanding Women and Her Work

Woman was made from a person and she relates to people. She was not given a job in the world to do like Adam was given. Her job was to be Adam’s helper or support. The word “support” literally has the meaning of being something like cement. She is to be such a support to Adam that he knows that she will be faithful and immovable in her support of him. He needs for her to become all that God designed her to be so that he can become all that God designed him to be. A woman gets her identity and love from people. Often as a child, a girl will play with dolls and pretend to be a “mommy” and she will imagine what it will be like when she has her “own” family and home. As she matures she will be sometimes be asked. “do you have a boyfriend?” and when she is older the first question that she is often asked is, “are you married?” or “do you have children?”. Later on in life, she will be asked, “do you have grandchildren?”. She sees herself as who she is in relationship to people and will say that she is a mother or grandmother. If she works outside of the home she will usually go into a people oriented field, such as doctor, nurse, teacher, etc. A woman also can make an excellent business woman but for different reasons than a man. However, a mother who works outside of her home is often torn between her job and her family. When her children are conceived, they are a part of her. She begins to be intimately acquainted with her children even when they are in her womb. When a working mother comes home she will work some more because God made her world to be her home and her home is a major part of her world. No one can take care of her home and children like she can and the Lord made her that way. Just as a man takes pride in his job, so a woman takes pride in her home and her family. She cares about the way her home looks and how her children are fed and dressed. God made her to nurture and to make a home for her family. She does not like dirt and some women will clean and clean their home. A man has to learn these things. It is not natural for him, but if he loves his wife and children then he will seek to learn what is important to his wife in the home and with the children.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

Understand that men and women are different. They were each made unique and they are wired differently. One is not better than the other but they are very different. Their longings, desires and needs are different. The more you understand the needs of a young man then the more you will be blessed and the less you will be hurt. You will be far more satisfied when you learn to appreciate the differences and not try to make men like women nor women like men. A man is happiest when he is fulfilling his calling as a man and a woman is happiest when she is fulfilling her calling as a woman.

A Life Understanding Boys and Men

Do Receive Understanding

As with anything, if you want to understand a subject matter then the best way to understand it is to go to the one who created the subject. The one who created anything can give you the greatest understanding, not only “about” the subject but the understanding of the “manner” of the subject.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Proverbs 9:10

If a girl wants to understand boys or if women want to understand men then they must go to the One who created man in the beginning. Not only will He give them understanding but He will give them instruction (which is wisdom) on what to do and what not to do so that they may not get hurt. Many girls and women have been hurt by boys and men simply because they did not understand boys and men.

Do Not Trust Your Own Understanding

Do not trust your own understanding of males of what you think they are like. A female will look at a male through their own perspective and try to “figure” him out. A male is made completely different than a female.  He thinks completely different than a female, he acts completely different and he does not have feelings the way a female does. Neither a male or female is right or wrong but they are different and will have different perspectives, thoughts, actions and reactions to the same situations. Do not trust in what you think you should do or in what your friends think you should do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5

Do trust in the Lord with all of your heart and go to the Lord and ask Him for wisdom and understanding. He wants to help you.

A Life with Love Involves the Will

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Man is made up of spirit, soul and body. The decisions that we make in life are expressed through our body but made through our soul. Every decision that we make involves our soul and affects our soul. Love is an expression of the soul. We choose to love with our mind and our will and it affects our emotions. We choose to hate with our mind and our will and it also affects our emotions. We choose to believe with our mind and our will and it affects our destiny. Loving and believing are a choice of the mind and will. When we respond to God’s love and believe in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then our spirit becomes alive. It is in our spirit that we worship and communicate with God. It is with our soul that we communicate with each other. It is with our spirit, soul and body that we love God and love another.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23

When we love God and love another as God has called us to do then our spirit, soul and body are preserved. When we sin against God and each other then we bring destruction to ourselves. Our spirit is made complete in Christ at the time of our conversion, if we are a Christian. Our soul is being made complete through our obedience to the Lord. Our soul experiences life when we do what is right. Our soul experiences death when we do what is wrong. The death to our soul is the sick feeling we have when the guilt comes and all the other feelings of regret. Guilt brings torment to the soul.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

God’s Word can be implanted in our soul and saves our soul. God’s Word gives life to our soul. Just as someone who receives a heart transplant because his heart is not functioning right, so we need to receive God’s Word implanted because our thoughts are not right. We have been corrupted in our mind, will and emotions. When we receive God’s Word into our soul then it transforms our mind, will and emotions so that we will know what is right. Our mind will tell us the right thing to do and our will carries it out. The happiness we experience in our emotions is because we did what was right.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Sin is lawlessness and when we sin then we experience death to the soul.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. I John 3:4

Everyone does just what he wants to do. If a man loves a woman then he will show love to her. Many women try to make excuses for a man when he does not call, come see her, etc. but it is because he does not want to. There are always exceptions when something urgent does come up, but love will always want to make up what was missed. In the same way, many people try to make excuses for themselves about why they do not believe in God and/or do what He wants them to do, but the bottom line is that they do not want to believe in God. They do not want to do what He says. Belief and love are a matter of the will. A person does just what they want to do.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. I John 4:21

The Lord would not have commanded us to do something that we could not do. Every marriage that fails is because someone gave up in their mind and will to love their spouse. Everyone messes up. Love is covering another’s mess. Shame is making it known. We cover up messes with our will and we make messes known with our will. Love is not always easy but it is worth it. When you are committed to loving another then it is only a matter of time before you will make a mess and you will be thankful that the other chose to love you.

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When you are single and live alone then there are not many messes but there is no love. When a married couple have no children then their home is clean. However, there is great joy being in a loving marriage and there also is great fulfillment in having children. Many messes come in relationships but much happiness comes when life is done right.