Tag: #whatislove

Love is a choice and love abides in relationships. When loving choices are made in a relationship where love is then the love will grow in that relationship. Love is a flame that can be kindled by good choices and warm the hearts of the two people in the love relationship or the love can be quenched by bad choices and allow the hearts of the two people to grow cold toward each other.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; I Peter 3:8

The summing up of how a relationship should be is that it is to be harmonious. The two people are to be sympathetic towards each other and brotherly, kindhearted and humble in spirit.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? II Corinthians 6:14

The first requirement for a harmonious marriage is that the union must be of two believers in Christ. If you are a believer and you are considering marriage to an unbeliever then you are going against the Lord and His counsel. His blessing will not be on your marriage.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; I Peter 3:8

The word sympathy means “a feeling of sorrow for someone else’s misfortune” or “a common feeling or understanding between people”. The place that someone should always be able to receive sympathy is in the marriage. A loving marriage doubles the joys and cuts the sorrows in half. Two people who love each other will share one another’s sorrows.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We are not only to be sympathetic towards one another but we are to be tender hearted with each other. It is one thing to be sympathetic towards another when they suffer with struggles outside of the marriage but when someone does what is wrong within the marriage then that becomes much more difficult.

not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:9

One of the secrets to a great marriage is forgiveness. It is crucial to be kindhearted to one another by forgiving each other. No one is perfect and we all sin. When and if you marry then you will marry a sinner. They will mess up and you will mess up. The temptation is to return evil for evil or insult for insult, or in other words, “You did this so I will do that or I will withhold from you!” No, absolutely not, if you want a loving relationship all the days of your lives together, until death do you part, then you must learn to forgive. You must learn to give a blessing instead.

For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13,14

If you have received forgiveness from Jesus Christ for all of your sins then you can give forgiveness to another. Forgiveness is the greatest gift that you can give to another. There is no sin too great that Jesus Christ has not forgiven you. In the same way, there is no sin too great that you can not forgive in another. Forgiveness is forgiving them of their sins against you and forgiveness is the promise to never bring it up again. If you need to bring it up over and over again then it is not forgiveness. The Lord never brings up your sins to you of all that He has forgiven you.

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

If you give to your spouse the gift of forgiveness then not only will you be giving them a blessing but you will receive a blessing from the Lord. For love to grow then there must be forgiveness. When someone shows love and forgiveness to another then they are like Christ.

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; I Peter 2:21-23

While being reviled, Jesus did not revile in return. He never returned evil for evil or insult for insult nor did he make any threats. Jesus Christ continually kept entrusting Himself to God, the Father. Jesus Christ was our example of what we are to do when we are suffering, and we do suffer when are affected by the sins of someone else. We are to go to the Lord and entrust ourselves to Him.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. II Peter 1:5-7

You will find that as you apply diligence in your pursuit of love in your marriage and you exercise self control (in your words and actions) and you persevere in it then you will become godly (which is like Christ), and then in your Christlikeness you will show kindness and love. This is truly the picture of marriage that God designed for it to be. Your love for each other will grow and abound. Your hearts will become knit together in love and you will become soulmates of one mind and one heart, as well as becoming one physically. This is the sweetest and most fulfilling of all relationships and is God’s gift to man and woman. It will be honey to your soul and life to your body when it is done God’s way.

Love is a choice and is not just a feeling. Feelings are based on emotions and emotions are fickle and can easily change with circumstances but love is a choice based on the character of the lover. A person is not ready for the responsibility of a love relationship between a man and a woman until their character is mature enough to make choices based on wisdom and not feelings.

Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, Psalm 144:12a

A young man is not mature until they are as a grown up plant. Maturity should come to a young man in his youth. This is a picture of prosperity. When young men are not mature in their youth then there will be problems in the family and problems in the nation. A grown up plant is one that is strong.

The glory of young men is their strength, Proverbs 20:29

A young man must be strong. He must be strong not only physically but he must be strong spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. I Timothy 4:12

A young man must show himself to be an example of maturity. His speech must be gracious. His conduct must be above reproach. A young man must know how to love with the love of Christ. He must be strong in his faith and have a pure heart.

He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11

The evidence of a young man’s maturity will be seen in the people who are attracted to him as his friends. When a young lady is considering a relationship with a young man she should look to see who his friends are. A deceitful or charming young man will tell her what she wants to hear but a wise young lady will look at the fruit of his life rather than the fruit of his lips to determine if he is genuine and worthy of her.

And our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace; Psalm 144:12b

A young woman is not mature enough to be in a love relationship with a young man until she is as a corner pillar. A corner pillar must be able to stand alone. If a corner pillar is wobbly or weak then the entire building will fall. A corner pillar must be strong and not dependent on others for its strength.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:4

A young woman’s main responsibility when the Lord gives her a family is to love her husband and to love her children. A young woman must have learned what it means to fear the Lord in order to fulfill her God given privilege and responsibility.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

If a young woman learns to fear the Lord and love Him then she will be ready for a love relationship. The fruit of her life will be such that her children will rise up and bless her and her husband will praise her.

Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. I Peter 3:3,4

She will focus more on her relationship with the Lord and the inner beauty that comes from that relationship rather than on the outward beauty that will fade away with time. She will still seek to be beautiful but the beauty that comes from within will outshine the beauty that is on the outside.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:8,9

The union of two mature people in marriage will be a blessing. They will be a blessing to each other, a blessing to their children and a blessing to the world. A great nation is made up of great families and great families are made up of great marriages and great marriages are made up of great Christians who are mature in their relationship with the Lord and mature as individuals.

We make the commitment to God to love our spouse when we get married on our wedding day but that commitment to love another is strengthened or weakened by the daily choices we make. The marriage vow is a vow to God and He is the One whom we love when we keep our vows. Our spouse is the recipient of our love for God in keeping our vow or our lack of love for God by not keeping our vow. Your love for your spouse is an expression of your love for God.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. Matthew 6:24

No man can serve two masters, either he will love one or hate the other. If you love God then you will follow Him and obey Him. He says that if you love Him then you must deny yourself. You can not serve God and self.

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. Luke 9:23

If you want to follow the Lord then you must deny yourself. This is lived out more in marriage than anywhere else. The question most often is not “do I love my spouse more than any other?”. Most people would probably be able to say “yes”. However, the question after we are married is more like, “do I love my spouse more than myself?”.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24

Our lives are like a grain of wheat. It must die before it will bear fruit. If it refuses to die then it will remain alone. That is how love in a relationship is. If you refuse to die to yourself then you will remain alone but if you will die to yourself, your dreams, your expectations, your desires, etc. then you will bear much fruit and your marriage will bear much fruit. You will not be alone but your life will be filled with love. It sounds like a paradox but it is true. You must die to bear fruit.

He who loves his life loses it, John 12:25a

If you love your live then you will lose it. However, if you allow yourself to die with Christ on the cross, die to yourself, then you will live.

And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. Mark 8:34

When you come after Jesus Christ then you must deny yourself and take up your cross, die to yourself and follow Him. However, in doing so, you will find life. You will be set free from the things that bind you and frustrate you, which often are your own pursuits after your own desires. The Lord Jesus Christ will give you His life and desires in place of your life and desires.

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20

When Christ lives in you then He will love through you. He will love your spouse with His love. It will be an unselfish love that will build up and establish your marriage. It will be a love that will encourage and cause trust to grow in your life and in the life of your spouse. It will be a love that will thrive and grow.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24

Many a person has lost their marriage because they refused to die to their self with its passions and desires. You can only die to yourself if you have another who will give His life to you. In death you receive life and in dying you learn to live.

But the desire of the righteous will be granted. Proverbs 10:24

The Lord wants to give you your desires that are His desires for you. However, when He gives them to you, the desires will be free of the sorrows that you would have received had you pursued them according to your ways.

It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it. Proverbs 10:22

Follow the Lord with all of your heart and He will teach you His ways. He wants to give you a great marriage that is filled with love, joy, peace, patience and all of the other wonderful fruit of His Spirit. However, you must come to Him empty and let Him fill you. When you die to yourself then you become empty of yourself so that He can fill you with Himself, and He will live and love through you in the power of His Spirit. You will be able to say with all of the saints through the ages.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

The Lord loves mankind and each person in the world. He desires that each one would know God and His great love for them. Apart from God and His great love each person will perish and spend an eternity away from God and separated from His love.

but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. II Peter 3:9b

God is patient towards us. He wants us all to choose to know His love. Love is a choice and the Lord has given the choice to each person to come to Him so that they might not perish.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

The gift that God offers to any who will receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior is to become His child. This offer is to any who will call upon Jesus Christ.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

To become God’s child is a free gift of love that God has given to those who believe in Jesus, His only begotten Son. It is a gift of life as well as a gift of love. To become His child means that a person is adopted into God’s family. It is a legal adoption with all of the rights as of the only begotten child of God, who is Jesus Christ. An adopted child of God becomes a fellow heir with Jesus Christ.

but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, Romans 8:15b-17a

However, the gift came at a great cost to God. God, the Father, gave His only begotten Son to die for the world that they might live. Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God, came and shed His blood to give us this gift of life and love.

knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ. I Peter 1:18,19

Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. He is the innocent One who was slain for the world. The world had turned its back on God and now God turned His back on His Son so that the world might have the gift of love and eternal life through Jesus Christ.

The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29

This Lamb of God, who paid the price of His own blood to give to the world the gift of love has become the Shepherd of those who come into His flock through believing in Him. He, who is now the Good Shepherd, understands the sheep and their needs.

I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. John 10:11

You know when you belong to the Good Shepherd because you hear His voice. He will shepherd you as the Good Shepherd and you will know His love. Love gives security. When someone gives their life to Jesus Christ and He becomes their Shepherd and they become one of the sheep of His flock then no one can snatch them from Him. They are secure now and forever.

My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. John 10:27,28

Jesus Christ is the Good Shepherd and He knows His own and His own know Him.

I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, John 10:14

The day will come when we will see the Lamb of God on the throne of God. He is the Good Shepherd and will shepherd all who belong to Him forever. When they see Him He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:16,17

The Lord Jesus Christ is coming again. He is patient and not wishing for any to perish but when He comes it will be too late for those who did not choose to love Him when they had the chance.

But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. II Peter 3:8,9

Come to Christ. His arms are open wide. When He went to the cross His arms were stretched out for the world. He will receive anyone who comes to Him. He will receive you and you will receive Jesus Christ and His amazing love. Love is a choice and God offers that choice to you.

Love is so amazing. Love empowers the giver of love and the receiver of the love. Love influences and changes lives. Love gives worth to the recipient and even gives greater worth to the one who gives love. Love sets free the one who loves and sets free the one who is loved. Love gives great joy to the recipient and even greater joy to the giver. There is nothing that can compare with love. Money can not buy it. Love can not be sold. Love is a gift that is a choice of the lover and the one who is loved to receive the gift of love. Love can not be forced but it is a force that changes people, nations and the world. The one who loves is more at peace, has more joy, experiences more freedom and is richer than the richest person who has ever lived. With love people can do far more than they ever dreamed and without love a person is almost paralyzed with loneliness, fear and many other ailments.

The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:8

God is love. Love is who God is and the Lord made man to receive love and to give love. The Lord made man in His image and an attribute of God is love.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; Genesis 1:27, 28a

Man and woman together is the image of God. It is a mystery and it is beautiful the way God created male and female. We need each other. It is not good for man or woman to be alone.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

It is not good for a husband and wife to be alone. The Lord called them to multiply so that together they could not only love each other but love another with the love they had together.

God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, Genesis 1:28a

Love is a choice and the Lord allowed choices in the garden so that man and woman could always choose to love God. God loved Adam and Eve but He did not force them to love Him.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

The Lord still offers man the choice to love Him. Love means coming to God. God’s grace through Jesus Christ is His invitation to come to Him and be restored to Him and to live in His amazing love.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

Eternal life is knowing God. When a person comes to God then they come into a personal knowledge of God through Jesus Christ.

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. John 17:3

When a person comes to know God then they also come into an experiential knowledge of the love of God. This love changes their life. This love changes everything about them. This love of God changes their desires, their decisions and their destiny. The love of God through Jesus Christ sets them free from their unforgiveness, bitterness, their sin and their guilt. This love from God living in them through His Holy Spirit empowers them to live above their circumstances and to have a peace and a joy in their circumstances. This love of God gives them more worth than all the money in the world for now they are a child of the King of kings and Lord of lords.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. I John 3:1a

God’s love is truly amazing and although we will most likely never fully understand it we can experience in Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is love and the expression of love. When we know Jesus Christ then we know love. When we become God’s child then we have love. When we give God’s love to others then we express His love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. I John 4:7

Nothing in all of the world has a greater influence than love. Men and women can be forced to do things they don’t want to do but love will cause the very things that they otherwise would not want to do seem like privileges to the one who loves and is loved. No one has had a greater influence on mankind than Jesus Christ. He never forced anyone to follow Him. He loved his followers.

Jesus knowing that His hour had come that He would depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. John 13:1b

He never asked of anyone anything that He himself had not already done. His leadership style was not being served but rather He came to serve.

just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

His power was not in Himself but He trusted One who could not be seen.

Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, John 5:19

He did nothing on His own initiative and never sought His own will.

“I can do nothing on My own initiative. As I hear, I judge; and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me. John 5:30

He never sought His own glory.

He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who is seeking the glory of the One who sent Him, He is true, and there is no unrighteousness in Him. John 7:18

He was faithful to do the work that God had given Him to do.

I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do. John 17:4

He was humble and gentle.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, Matthew 11:29

All of Jesus’ disciples but one died a martyr’s death. They voluntarily gave up their lives for Jesus who loved them and gave His life for them. Nearly two thousand years later people are still following Jesus Christ and giving their lives to love and serve Him and if necessary to die for Christ.

When the Lamb broke the fifth seal, I saw underneath the altar the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God, and because of the testimony which they had maintained; Revelation 6:9

Jesus Christ was not physically attractive.

He has no stately form or majesty
That we should look upon Him,
Nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. Isaiah 53:2b

Jesus Christ was so unassuming that no one recognized that He was God in the flesh until God revealed it to them.

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” And Jesus said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. Matthew 16:15-17

However, Jesus Christ had so much influence when He walked on earth that the religious leaders envied Him so much that they wanted to kill Him. They looked for people to accuse Him so that they might have a reason to put Him to death and they could find no one.

Now the chief priests and the whole Council kept trying to obtain testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, and they were not finding any. Mark 14:55

Jesus Christ was innocent of any wrong doing and He went around doing good. Yet, His influence was greater than any man who has ever walked on this earth. All of history is determined by His life. B.C. means “before Christ” and A.D. means “in the year of our Lord”. Jesus Christ was crucified, died and was buried and rose again in Jerusalem. Everything to the east of Jerusalem is called the east and everything to the west of Jerusalem is called the west. Geography is measured by His death, burial and resurrection. Men are still today trying to erase His name and put an end to Jesus Christ just as they did in His day. It will never happen. Jesus Christ is alive and is coming back again. He is the beginning and the end.

“Behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to render to every man according to what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” Revelation 22:12,13

When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden the Lord drove them out of the garden lest they eat of the tree of life and live forever separated from God.

Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:22-24

God sent Jesus Christ to die for the sin of the world so that anyone who would believe in Jesus Christ would be restored to a right relationship with God. Christ died, was buried and rose again so that we might have eternal life.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 3:16-18

Those who have believed in Jesus Christ have been forgiven and have had their consciences washed clean through the blood of Christ and have the right to eat of the tree of life and live forever in heaven.

Blessed are those who wash their robes, so that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter by the gates into the city. Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices lying. Revelation 22:14,15

Those who have believed in Jesus Christ have been forgiven and can eat of the tree of life. Those who have not believed in Jesus Christ will be judged for their sins and will not be able to enter into the presence of God. They will be outside forever. The word “dogs” is another word for unbelievers. If we believe in horoscopes or ever have had our fortune told then we are practicing sorcery. If we have ever looked at another person in the wrong way then we are immoral. If we have hated anyone then we have murdered in our heart. If we have ever put anything before God then we have committed idolatry. If we have ever even told a white lie or any lies then we are guilty of lying. All of us deserve judgment and yet the Lord offers us forgiveness because Jesus Christ took our judgment and punishment on the cross. Those who believe in Jesus Christ have been forgiven of their sins and will not be judged and will spend eternity in heaven. Those who have not believed and followed Jesus Christ will be judged for their sins when he comes again and will spend eternity in hell.

Everyone needs comfort and will seek it out. A man longs for comfort as much as a wife does, however, comfort for a man is different than what is comfort for a wife. A man needs to feel like a man and he is comforted when his manhood and masculinity is affirmed. A man also needs the love and comfort of a female. A man should go from his mother’s love to his wife’s love. For this reason the Lord told the husband to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24

A wife completes a man and together they are the image of God. She brings out of a man something that nothing else will bring out of him.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

If a man loves his wife then he will be willing to die for her. When he marries his wife he gives her his heart and soul. He makes a total commitment to her because he is taking responsibility for her. The wedding day is a total change for a man. They are no longer two but one and now he is responsible for another. A wife is a gift from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

A man needs a wife to comfort him. A wife is a companion to a man. Most men will rise to a higher level in every way when they find a good wife. Marriage is not only union of the body and spirit but union of the soul. A wife becomes a man’s soulmate and he will share his innermost thoughts, ambitions and desires with her. He needs a wife whom he can trust.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

One of the meanings of the word “good” means the highest form of love. An excellent wife will love her husband and only do her husband good. One of the meanings of “evil” is to bring grief. An excellent wife will not bring her husband grief. She will be his greatest treasure and will bring him comfort through her quiet and gentle spirit that trusts in the Lord. He will know that she will always be there for him. He can trust her.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife will be the crown of her husband. A man needs to rule and an excellent wife gives him the right to rule. A wife needs to understand that God made men to conquer and rule and a husband must first believe that he rules well in his home first before he can conquer the world. A husband that has an unsubmissive wife will be frustrated all of his days and will bring her husband shame. Submission is a good thing within God’s will. A submissive wife helps her husband succeed as a father and also in life. A man ruling his family well is so important that the Lord makes it a requirement for leadership outside of the family.

He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?) I Timothy 3:4,5

A husband also needs his wife’s praise and respect. Often a man will put on a facade of confidence but on the inside he feels his own insecurity and failures. He needs for his wife to respect him and praise him. Their children need for her to praise her husband publicly around them. A child’s self worth comes from their father and when a wife praises her husband to her children then she is actually increasing their own worth and confidence in life.

And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6b

A wife also brings comfort to a man through the physical comfort of her body.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19

If every wife understood her husband’s need for comfort and love and met them then there would be few divorces. Divorce begins with the neglect of comfort for each other. A man generally will not leave his wife for any other reason than for the comfort of another woman. Any woman who marries or has an affair with a married man is an adulteress. It will be his destruction but he is blinded by his need for love and comfort. An adulteress is a totally selfish and manipulative woman who cares only for herself and does not even have the capacity to love a man. She will use him and never respect him. She is pretentious in her words and actions.

The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; He who is cursed of the Lord will fall into it. Proverbs 22:14

An adulteress uses the two main needs of a married man to deceive him and lay a trap for him to fall into a deep pit. A man needs praise and he needs physical intimacy. An adulteress flatters a man that she wants to deceive. Flattery and praise sound the same but flattery is manipulative and praise is genuine.

Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,”
And call understanding your intimate friend;
That they may keep you from an adulteress,
From the foreigner who flatters with her words. Proverbs 7:4,5

An adulteress offers to a man what his wife is not satisfying him with, to both of their destruction.

“Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning;
Let us delight ourselves with caresses.
“For my husband is not at home,
He has gone on a long journey;
He has taken a bag of money with him,
At the full moon he will come home.”
With her many persuasions she entices him;
With her flattering lips she seduces him.
Suddenly he follows her
As an ox goes to the slaughter,
Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool,
Until an arrow pierces through his liver;
As a bird hastens to the snare,
So he does not know that it will cost him his life. Proverbs 7:18-23

He may no longer desire his wife’s affections because he is bitter toward her.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Colossians 3:19

A man’s eyes may no longer be satisfied with his wife. Generally, a man who is moral before marriage will be moral after marriage. The eyes of man are never satisfied but he needs to learn self control so that he will be satisfied with his wife.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

If he has self control before marriage then it will be easier for him to exercise self control after marriage. A man who wants to have a great marriage and be faithful to the Lord might want to make a covenant with his eyes just as Job did to keep himself pure. A faithful husband needs to do whatever he needs to do to hold himself accountable to God.

I have made a covenant with my eyes; How then could I gaze at a virgin? Job 31:1

Also, if his wife satisfies his physical needs then he will not be so easily tempted just as a man needs to satisfy his wife’s emotional needs so she will not be tempted. Marriages are God’s provision for comfort and love for a man and a woman. Marriage gets sweeter and sweeter as the years go by if the husband and wife learn to love and comfort each other. It is the most intimate of all relationships and the closest that one can come to experiencing heaven on earth if both are believers in Jesus Christ.