Tag: #love

A Life with Love Makes a Promise

Love makes promises and lives by the promise. It is not loving for a man to live with a woman outside of marriage. A woman needs, desires and longs for security. If a man loves a woman then he will give her that security. He does so through a promise. A marriage proposal is a promise to love her and to provide for her and protect her. When he marries her then he begins to fulfill the promise that he has made to her.

I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the earth.” God said, “This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations; I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth. It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud, and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh. When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth.” Genesis 9:11-17

The Lord loved Noah and all of mankind and made a promise to Noah and his descendants that He would never destroy mankind through a flood again. This promise was God’s love to give mankind security so that man would not be fearful when the rain would come again. The rainbow was the sign of God’s promise never to flood the earth again. The wedding ring that a man gives to a woman when he marries her is a sign of his love for her that he will be faithful to her and love her. She need not be fearful when the storms of life come because of her husband’s promise to her to love her for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health. He will love her all the days of their lives as long as the two of them shall live.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

We can only do what God has called us to do and be who God has called us to be by His strength and grace. Marriage humbles the husband and the wife because they both must look to Him and rely on His strength for the marriage to grow strong and loving.

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Marriage is one of God’s provisions for productivity and also from discouragement. Two are better than one and will have a good return for their labor. When one falls the other can lift the other one up. It is a comfort to sleep together with your spouse and especially on cold nights. However, when the Lord is the center of your marriage then your marriage will grow stronger and stronger and even more loving. There is grace that gives forgiveness and there will be reconciliation when one fails and a love that is restored and grows.

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” II Corinthians 12:9a

The Lord will give His grace to the husband and the wife to fulfill the vows they made to God and the promises they made to each other on their wedding day. Marriage takes a lot of humility and grace but it is worth it. It is our pride that destroys our relationships and marriages.

and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. I Peter 5:5b

A Life that is Great in Life

If you want to be the great among people here on earth then you must do what is right and teach others also to do what is right.

Matthew 5:19 Whoever then annuls one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever keeps and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

The Lord gave us His commandments so that we might learn to do good to others. If we keep His commandments then we will be doing right in life and the outcome will be good towards all who we come in contact with in this life. When we don’t keep His commandments then we are doing evil towards others and the result is that we bring grief to others. When we cause harm to others we are the least in God’s kingdom.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

The Lord has told us how to do good and that is to treat others right and to do it with kindness and not grudgingly and to walk humbly with the Lord. The only way we can live this kind of life is by God’s grace. Grace comes through humbling ourselves before the Lord.

James 4:6 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

The Lord meets the one who wants to do what is right. The word righteousness means doing what is right.

Isaiah 64:5a You meet him who rejoices in doing righteousness,
Who remembers You in Your ways.

Do you want to be great in life? Then learn to keep His commandments and teach others through your life, words and actions. The Lord will help you. He will meet you and give you His grace. Not only will He do these things for you but He will exalt you. You do not need to seek to exalt yourself. That is pride. Humble yourself before the Lord and seek to do what is right and He will life you up.

James 4:10 Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.

There is none like the Lord. When He lifts you up then you will know that it is the Lord and He will be the One who ultimately is exalted for He alone is God.

Isaiah 64:4 For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.

He alone is worthy of all honor and glory.

Revelation 4:11 “Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.”

A Life with Love Must Be Tested

If love is not tested then we will never know the depth and strength of our love. It is not until our love is tested will we know if it is genuine. We all want to say that we will be faithful in our love for another. That is the intent of our heart but what is the strength of our character? Love is a choice and it is a choice that we must make many times in order to stay faithful. We make the commitment to love another but we live out that commitment every day afterwards. Love is not a matter of words only but a matter of faithfulness in living out the words that we have made to another. That commitment that we make to love another will be tested. It is not a matter of “if” but “when” it will be tested.

We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Love begins with experiencing God’s love. We love the Lord because He first loved us. When we experience His love then we can love others with an unconditional love, which is the way that we all want to be loved.

This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. I John 3:23

Our love for the Lord will be expressed in our love for our spouse, our family members and others.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deuteronomy 6:5

When we learn to love God with all of our heart, soul and might then we can love another. Loving God means loving others. We learn of love from God and we learn what it means to be faithful from Him also. Adam and Eve were tested in the garden of Eden. They failed the test and chose to not love God by loving themselves. The Lord continued to love them in spite of their lack of love for God and the rest of the Bible is the story of God’s love for Adam and Eve and all of their descendants and His faithfulness to show them that love.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

Adam and Eve were more concerned about “what was in it for them” than in being faithful to their Creator and God.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Genesis 3:6,7

Eve was tested when she was tempted to eat of the tree which the Lord had said not to eat. She was tempted because of how she looked at the fruit of the tree. What Eve saw was “good” and “delightful” and “desirable”. However, it was not good but bad, it would not bring her delight but pain and it only seemed desirable but in the end she would regret it. That is how the test will be. It will seem appealing and tempting but will only destroy. If we fail the test then it will bring not only death to the love relationship but it will bring death to the soul.

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. Hebrews 10:36

Every love relationship has a lot of promise. If we enter into a marriage covenant then it has the promise of a loving and trusting union between a man and a woman that will bring great joy, satisfaction and love that will grow as the two grow old together. The marriage relationship is the sweetest, warmest, most trusting and loving relationship on earth when it is done God’s way.

Whoever is wise, let him understand these things;
Whoever is discerning, let him know them.
For the ways of the Lord are right,
And the righteous will walk in them,
But transgressors will stumble in them. Hosea 14:9

God’s ways are right. Those who are wise will learn the ways of God and walk in them. Their marriage will be blessed. Those who are faithful in their relationship with God and in their marriage when they are tested will grow even stronger in their love. Testing brings trials and trials produce endurance. Endurance is what strengthens and perfects us. It is the relationships that endure the tests and trials of life that bring the lasting joy and satisfaction in life as they are made perfect and complete.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

When you are tested through trials then persevere in doing what is right. Stay faithful. Walk by faith and not by feelings. Love can grow and be restored in relationships. Relationships are not easy but they are worth it. Do what is right. Don’t give up.

Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. James 1:12

All love relationships will be tested. Your relationship and love for the Lord will be tested. Your marriage will be tested. Love is faithfulness and perseverance and those who are faithful and persevere to the end will be glad. Those who are faithful to the Lord will be faithful in their marriage.

For yet in a very little while,
He who is coming will come, and will not delay.
But My righteous one shall live by faith;
And if he shrinks back, My soul has no pleasure in him. But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul. Hebrews 10:37-39

A Life that is Truly Great

If you want to be truly great in this life then there is one thing that you must do and that is you must do good. Doing good is meeting the needs of others without hurting others in the process. The end does not outweigh the means. If the end is good but the means are not then you have not done anything great but rather you have hurt others. Doing good also will not take from someone else to do good to another. Doing good is kindness done to one with justice to all.

Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Another way of saying it is that doing good must be done the right way. Doing good does not take what is rightfully someone else’s to give to another, even if they are in need.

Mark 7:27,28 And He was saying to her, “Let the children be satisfied first, for it is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” But she answered and said to Him, “Yes, Lord, but even the dogs under the table feed on the children’s crumbs.”

The Lord is constantly looking for someone who will do good to others. We all are looking for someone who is genuinely doing good.

Psalm 14:2,3 The Lord has looked down from heaven upon the sons of men
To see if there are any who understand,
Who seek after God.
They have all turned aside, together they have become corrupt;
There is no one who does good, not even one.

The beginning of doing good is to seek God for He is the only One who is good.

Mark 10:18b No one is good except God alone.

The Lord is looking for someone who will seek Him because apart from Him we can not do any good. There is so little good in us that none of seek God. We all seek after our own interests. Seeking God is a prerequisite to being truly great. Otherwise everything that we do will be for our own self and we can not serve ourselves and others also.

Matthew 23:11 But the greatest among you shall be your servant.

The more good we do and the more that we serve others, rather than ourselves, the greater we will be.

Matthew 18:1-4 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

Before you can be truly great on earth you must become great in the kingdom on heaven. The kingdom of heaven is here on earth and dwells within the hearts of the people who have received Jesus Christ as their King, for He alone is King of kings. He is our King and we are His servants. In serving Him we are to serve others and do good to them, just as He came and did good to others.

Acts 10:38a You know of Jesus of Nazareth, how God anointed Him with the Holy Spirit and with power, and how He went about doing good

Do you want to be truly great? Then you must discover the needs of others and meet them through serving. This what it means to be truly great. God is the only One who is truly great and in doing these things you will be more like Him. Doing good is when God meets man once again.

 

A Life with Love Must Grow

Love is a choice and love abides in relationships. When loving choices are made in a relationship where love is then the love will grow in that relationship. Love is a flame that can be kindled by good choices and warm the hearts of the two people in the love relationship or the love can be quenched by bad choices and allow the hearts of the two people to grow cold toward each other.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; I Peter 3:8

The summing up of how a relationship should be is that it is to be harmonious. The two people are to be sympathetic towards each other and brotherly, kindhearted and humble in spirit.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? II Corinthians 6:14

The first requirement for a harmonious marriage is that the union must be of two believers in Christ. If you are a believer and you are considering marriage to an unbeliever then you are going against the Lord and His counsel. His blessing will not be on your marriage.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; I Peter 3:8

The word sympathy means “a feeling of sorrow for someone else’s misfortune” or “a common feeling or understanding between people”. The place that someone should always be able to receive sympathy is in the marriage. A loving marriage doubles the joys and cuts the sorrows in half. Two people who love each other will share one another’s sorrows.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

We are not only to be sympathetic towards one another but we are to be tender hearted with each other. It is one thing to be sympathetic towards another when they suffer with struggles outside of the marriage but when someone does what is wrong within the marriage then that becomes much more difficult.

not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:9

One of the secrets to a great marriage is forgiveness. It is crucial to be kindhearted to one another by forgiving each other. No one is perfect and we all sin. When and if you marry then you will marry a sinner. They will mess up and you will mess up. The temptation is to return evil for evil or insult for insult, or in other words, “You did this so I will do that or I will withhold from you!” No, absolutely not, if you want a loving relationship all the days of your lives together, until death do you part, then you must learn to forgive. You must learn to give a blessing instead.

For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13,14

If you have received forgiveness from Jesus Christ for all of your sins then you can give forgiveness to another. Forgiveness is the greatest gift that you can give to another. There is no sin too great that Jesus Christ has not forgiven you. In the same way, there is no sin too great that you can not forgive in another. Forgiveness is forgiving them of their sins against you and forgiveness is the promise to never bring it up again. If you need to bring it up over and over again then it is not forgiveness. The Lord never brings up your sins to you of all that He has forgiven you.

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

If you give to your spouse the gift of forgiveness then not only will you be giving them a blessing but you will receive a blessing from the Lord. For love to grow then there must be forgiveness. When someone shows love and forgiveness to another then they are like Christ.

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; I Peter 2:21-23

While being reviled, Jesus did not revile in return. He never returned evil for evil or insult for insult nor did he make any threats. Jesus Christ continually kept entrusting Himself to God, the Father. Jesus Christ was our example of what we are to do when we are suffering, and we do suffer when are affected by the sins of someone else. We are to go to the Lord and entrust ourselves to Him.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. II Peter 1:5-7

You will find that as you apply diligence in your pursuit of love in your marriage and you exercise self control (in your words and actions) and you persevere in it then you will become godly (which is like Christ), and then in your Christlikeness you will show kindness and love. This is truly the picture of marriage that God designed for it to be. Your love for each other will grow and abound. Your hearts will become knit together in love and you will become soulmates of one mind and one heart, as well as becoming one physically. This is the sweetest and most fulfilling of all relationships and is God’s gift to man and woman. It will be honey to your soul and life to your body when it is done God’s way.

A Life that Does Not Need to Worry

The Lord knows how fragile we are and our tendency to worry. He tells us not to worry. He makes it very clear and says “Do not worry”.

Matthew 6:25-33 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

The Lord knows that we need food, shelter and clothing. He says “do not worry”. He says that He feeds the birds and that they do not even store up but He feeds all of the birds every day of their lives. Amazing. He says not to worry about our clothing. He knows that we need clothes. He began by clothing Adam and Eve in the garden and He will provide clothing for his children. Do you need shelter? Yes! He will provide for you. All of these things the world eagerly seeks but He tells us to seek Him and His kingdom and righteousness and all of these things will be added to us. God is faithful. Do not worry about His part but be concerned that you do what He has called you to do and that is to be faithful to His commands and instructions to you.

Psalm 37:25 I have been young and now I am old,
Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken
Or his descendants begging bread.

He also says not to worry about tomorrow. He truly knows how we are made and how tempting it is to worry about tomorrow so He tells us to not even worry about tomorrow.

Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Do you have troubles today. Yes, we all will have struggles and troubles but the Lord says that He is a present help in time of trouble.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.

Go to Him with your struggles and trouble. He is not only an eternal Savior but He is a present Savior who will show Himself strong on behalf of those who turn to Him with all of their heart.

II Chronicles 16:9a For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.

 

A Life with Love is a Mature Choice

Love is a choice and is not just a feeling. Feelings are based on emotions and emotions are fickle and can easily change with circumstances but love is a choice based on the character of the lover. A person is not ready for the responsibility of a love relationship between a man and a woman until their character is mature enough to make choices based on wisdom and not feelings.

Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, Psalm 144:12a

A young man is not mature until they are as a grown up plant. Maturity should come to a young man in his youth. This is a picture of prosperity. When young men are not mature in their youth then there will be problems in the family and problems in the nation. A grown up plant is one that is strong.

The glory of young men is their strength, Proverbs 20:29

A young man must be strong. He must be strong not only physically but he must be strong spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. I Timothy 4:12

A young man must show himself to be an example of maturity. His speech must be gracious. His conduct must be above reproach. A young man must know how to love with the love of Christ. He must be strong in his faith and have a pure heart.

He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend. Proverbs 22:11

The evidence of a young man’s maturity will be seen in the people who are attracted to him as his friends. When a young lady is considering a relationship with a young man she should look to see who his friends are. A deceitful or charming young man will tell her what she wants to hear but a wise young lady will look at the fruit of his life rather than the fruit of his lips to determine if he is genuine and worthy of her.

And our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace; Psalm 144:12b

A young woman is not mature enough to be in a love relationship with a young man until she is as a corner pillar. A corner pillar must be able to stand alone. If a corner pillar is wobbly or weak then the entire building will fall. A corner pillar must be strong and not dependent on others for its strength.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:4

A young woman’s main responsibility when the Lord gives her a family is to love her husband and to love her children. A young woman must have learned what it means to fear the Lord in order to fulfill her God given privilege and responsibility.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

If a young woman learns to fear the Lord and love Him then she will be ready for a love relationship. The fruit of her life will be such that her children will rise up and bless her and her husband will praise her.

Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. I Peter 3:3,4

She will focus more on her relationship with the Lord and the inner beauty that comes from that relationship rather than on the outward beauty that will fade away with time. She will still seek to be beautiful but the beauty that comes from within will outshine the beauty that is on the outside.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:8,9

The union of two mature people in marriage will be a blessing. They will be a blessing to each other, a blessing to their children and a blessing to the world. A great nation is made up of great families and great families are made up of great marriages and great marriages are made up of great Christians who are mature in their relationship with the Lord and mature as individuals.

A Life that Finds Rest for Their Soul

The Lord has made man upright but he has sought out many devices. He made man to know Him and to seek Him. For this reason, the heart of a child wants to pray and learn to talk to the Lord. A child wants to hear the stories of God and wants to know God. A child knows that God is real and when they are told about God then often they will give their hearts immediately to Him.

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

The Lord is God and He has made us to know Him. There will be no excuses when we see Him. He says that He has spoken to us so that we are without excuse. He speaks to us through creation, He speaks to us through our conscience and He speaks to us through people and circumstances.

John 15:22 If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin.

The Lord says that not only has He put within the heart of man to know Him and has made it evident to man that He is the Creator and created all things but He has also done things for man that there is no other explanation for it but God Himself.

John 15:24 If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would not have sin;

Our sin is basically that we do not come to Him. We hide from God and we try to hide our problems from Him. He knows everything and sees everything.

I Samuel 2:3 Boast no more so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the Lord is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed.

He wants us to come to Him. He loves us and wants us to come to Him so that He can save us from ourselves, our sin and our messes that we have created because we did not come to Him at the first. He wants to take the turmoil in our souls and give us rest. He is gentle and humble of heart.

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

A Life with Love Must Die to Self

We make the commitment to God to love our spouse when we get married on our wedding day but that commitment to love another is strengthened or weakened by the daily choices we make. The marriage vow is a vow to God and He is the One whom we love when we keep our vows. Our spouse is the recipient of our love for God in keeping our vow or our lack of love for God by not keeping our vow. Your love for your spouse is an expression of your love for God.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. Matthew 6:24

No man can serve two masters, either he will love one or hate the other. If you love God then you will follow Him and obey Him. He says that if you love Him then you must deny yourself. You can not serve God and self.

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. Luke 9:23

If you want to follow the Lord then you must deny yourself. This is lived out more in marriage than anywhere else. The question most often is not “do I love my spouse more than any other?”. Most people would probably be able to say “yes”. However, the question after we are married is more like, “do I love my spouse more than myself?”.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John 12:24

Our lives are like a grain of wheat. It must die before it will bear fruit. If it refuses to die then it will remain alone. That is how love in a relationship is. If you refuse to die to yourself then you will remain alone but if you will die to yourself, your dreams, your expectations, your desires, etc. then you will bear much fruit and your marriage will bear much fruit. You will not be alone but your life will be filled with love. It sounds like a paradox but it is true. You must die to bear fruit.

He who loves his life loses it, John 12:25a

If you love your live then you will lose it. However, if you allow yourself to die with Christ on the cross, die to yourself, then you will live.

And He summoned the crowd with His disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me. Mark 8:34

When you come after Jesus Christ then you must deny yourself and take up your cross, die to yourself and follow Him. However, in doing so, you will find life. You will be set free from the things that bind you and frustrate you, which often are your own pursuits after your own desires. The Lord Jesus Christ will give you His life and desires in place of your life and desires.

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20

When Christ lives in you then He will love through you. He will love your spouse with His love. It will be an unselfish love that will build up and establish your marriage. It will be a love that will encourage and cause trust to grow in your life and in the life of your spouse. It will be a love that will thrive and grow.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:22-24

Many a person has lost their marriage because they refused to die to their self with its passions and desires. You can only die to yourself if you have another who will give His life to you. In death you receive life and in dying you learn to live.

But the desire of the righteous will be granted. Proverbs 10:24

The Lord wants to give you your desires that are His desires for you. However, when He gives them to you, the desires will be free of the sorrows that you would have received had you pursued them according to your ways.

It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it. Proverbs 10:22

Follow the Lord with all of your heart and He will teach you His ways. He wants to give you a great marriage that is filled with love, joy, peace, patience and all of the other wonderful fruit of His Spirit. However, you must come to Him empty and let Him fill you. When you die to yourself then you become empty of yourself so that He can fill you with Himself, and He will live and love through you in the power of His Spirit. You will be able to say with all of the saints through the ages.

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

A Life with No Excuses

Since the Lord created the earth and made it evident to man that there is a Creator then man is without excuse for not acknowledging the Creator. All atheism and agnosticism is a result of not coming to the light that God has given to man. The light of God begins through creation and when man comes to God then the Lord gives him more light.

Romans 1:19,20 because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse.

Man is without excuse because the Lord created man to know Him and made it evident within Him. However, if man does not turn to His Creator then his foolish heart becomes darkened.

Romans 1:21 For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

God made man to know Him but when we do not honor Him or thank Him then we start speculating about God. Often it will begin with “My God would not…”. Any speculation about God will only bring greater darkness to the foolish heart that does not turn to God. Finally, the one who does not acknowledge God, honor Him or thank Him will cease to even believe that He exists.

Romans 1:22,23 Professing to be wise, they became fools,and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.

The person who turns from God will think that he himself is wise. Once he thinks of himself as wise then he has even less hope than when he was only a fool and turned from God. Now, the wise in his own eyes person will exchange the glory of being made in God’s image and think that he is made in the image of creation, which is a summation of evolution.

Proverbs 26:12 Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.