#Friend – Page 3 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called His daughters to be responders. First of all, we need to learn to respond to Him. He is the great pursuer and He longs to have a relationship with you and to fellowship with you on a daily basis and even moment by moment. He loves it when you pray to Him about everything.

Proverbs 15: 8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, But the prayer of the upright is His delight.

He wants you to pray to Him about everything and not to worry about anything.

I Peter 3:4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

A lady needs to learn to cast all of her cares on Him.

I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

He wants you to become a woman after His heart and to learn to respond to His heart rather than go through the motions of being religious.

Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!

David was a man after God’s heart and that is why the Lord chose him to be king of Israel. The Lord will use you in a way that will bring you great joy when you learn to be a woman after God’s heart.

Acts13:22 After He had removed him, He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’

The Lord is looking for one who will give their heart completely to Him. He will support you and you will abide in His love.

II Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.”

If the Lord is for you then who can be against you? You will always come out victorious. He will withhold nothing from you that you need.

Romans 8:31,32 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

A Life that is Restored

The Lord is the only One who can restore us. He first restores us to a right relationship with Himself and then He starts restoring us and our relationships. He also restores us to a right relationship with His creation.

Psalm 23 1-3 The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

The Lord knows what we need for restoration. Notice that He says here that He makes you lie down in green pastures. Sometimes He will cause circumstances to allow us to be still and lie down in green pastures where it is safe and He will lead us beside quiet waters where we will find refreshment. He is your Shepherd and He says that you will not be in want, that means that He knows your needs and you will not be lacking anything that you need so don’t struggle against the circumstances but learn to accept what you can not change. He will guide you on your journey in paths of righteousness so that you will have peace, quietness and confidence, but first you need restoration. The sheep were never intended to stay in the same place.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

As a Christian we can experience death to our soul when we sin and continue in a particular sin. Restoration comes when we confess our sins to Him, turn from our sins and He cleanses us.

I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

After confession when we pray to Him we are drawing near to Him and we will experience His restoration. As He says in His Word, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Psalm 80:3 O God, restore us And cause Your face to shine upon us, and we will be saved.

The Lord is the One who restores us in our fellowship with Him.

Psalm 19:7 The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;

The Word of God is what the Lord uses to restore our soul. It is the power of God. It cleanses us.

John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.

Prayer and the Word of God brings restoration to our soul. Go to an older woman who you know is in a right relationship with the Lord and ask her to pray for you also if you are still struggling with a particular sin.

James 5:15,16 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.

If you are walking with the Lord and have been doing so on a consistent basis and growing in your relationship with Him then you have a responsibility to restore others in their relationship with the Lord if they are struggling with being enslaved to a sin.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

The Lord has given all of us responsibility to help each other. We need each other to help one another stay close to the Lord. We are not sinless when we become Christians but we do sin less.

James 5:19 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

A Life with a New Heart

The greatest miracle in the world is when the Lord gives someone a new heart. Not only does He give someone a new heart but He puts a new spirit within them. He removes the heart of stone which we all have in us that causes us to be self centered and to care for ourselves above all others. Our old heart becomes more and more hardened and we do not even feel the pain that we cause to others. We say ugly words with no thought of the broken hearts and hurt feelings of our parents, friends, spouses, acquaintances and those who serve us in the work places of life. Sometimes we don’t say or do anything but our sins are acts of omission when we could have done something to relieve the suffering of someone else but we were so consumed with our own lives we never really noticed. Our thoughtlessness can be as damaging when we may be the only person in a position to help someone else in need.

Ezekiel 36:26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

When we become born again then He puts His Spirit within us and makes us a new person. He gives us a new heart and a new spirit and He comes to live within us and lives through us. He opens our eyes and our ears. He becomes our God and our Lord. He causes us to walk in His ways and observe His ordinances and when we do that then we will love the Lord and our neighbor as we should.

Ezekiel 36:27,28 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God.

He will cleanse us from our sins and forgive us from everything wrong that we have done. His forgiveness is complete and includes all of our sins: past, present and future. He forgives us of our acts of omission as well as our actions that we have done against Him and others.

Ezekiel 36:29a Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness;

He will bless us and multiply our resources. He will keep famine away. He will multiply the fruit of our labor.

Ezekiel 36:29b-30a and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field,

He will remove our disgrace among others and take away our shame.

Ezekiel 36:30b so that you will not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations.

The evidence of a new heart is that when we remember our evil ways and deeds that were not good then we will hate what we have done. If it were not for His great love for us then we would also hate ourselves for what we have done. Our heart of flesh will feel the pain and grief that we have caused others.

Ezekiel 36:31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations.

The incredible good news is that we are forgiven and made right with God through Jesus Christ and His work on the cross. We can now commune with Him and hear His voice. We can see His great love and feel it as well. We can love others with a pure heart and feel their pains and griefs. We have compassion on others because of His great compassion on us. This is how you know that you have a new heart and that His Spirit lives with you. You are a new person and the old things have passed away. New things have come.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

A Life that is Helped and Helps

We all need to help and to be helped. We need to help each other stay on God’s path. We need each other and the Lord has provisions for us. There are three layers of relationships that ladies need to help them stay on God’s path and do what is right.

Hebrew 13:7 Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the outcome of their way of life, imitate their faith.

The top layer are those whom you look up to and respect. If you can have a loving relationship with this person then that is great but sometimes it may be someone you admire from a distance whose life inspires you. However, you definitely need some people in the upper layer who love you and will pray for you and keep you accountable. This person sees your needs and wants to see you grow in the Lord. Find people who are growing in their relationship with the Lord whom you want to be like and you want to go where they are going in life. Be careful who you aspire to be like because you will become like the person you allow to teach you. Choose godly women who love the Lord. Look at the fruit in their lives.

Luke 6:40 A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.

The second layer are the friends that you choose. This layer will love you and want to be with you. Both of you agree that you want to be faithful to the Lord, which means that you want to be faithful to honor your parents or husband, or you both want to be faithful in school or on the job.

Amos 3:3 “Can two walk together, unless they be agreed?”

You both want to follow the Lord and you stimulate one another to do that very thing. You will stick with each other through thick and thin, no matter what the circumstances.

Proverbs 18: 24 …there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

You also want your closest friends to be wise people who seek the Lord, fear and respect Him and want to be a disciple of Jesus. A wise person lives each day as though it is his last so that he will be ready to meet the Lord.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

A fool lives as if there is no God.

Psalm 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”

Who you choose as your friends is one of the most important decisions you will make in life. Choose right and you will treasure them and you will bless each other. Choose wrong and you will end up in situations you never intended to be and you will go places you never wanted to go. A true friend is more concerned about your relationship with the Lord than your relationship with them.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,

The last layer is the bottom layer and this layer are the girls or young ladies who look up to you. This layer keeps you on the straight and narrow because you do not want to disappoint them. Often they think that you can do no wrong. Of course you know the truth about yourself but they truly believe the best in you. Also, this layer is important because the Lord tells us to reach out to others and especially to those who can not pay you back. The Lord Himself will make sure that your life is watered if you water others.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous man will be prosperous, And he who waters will himself be watered.

The Lord Himself was like this.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

If you are missing a layer then ask the Lord to provide and then seek out opportunities to meet people. This principle is seen in life with grandparents, parents and children. Also, Jesus looked to the Father and had the disciples, especially Peter, James and John as friends and reached out to the multitude.

An easy way to remember this is to call it the “oreo” principle. (If you like oreo cookies.) The top layer are those who love you in spite of your faults and the bottom layer are those who love you but do not see your faults. Then the sweet stuff in the middle are your friends who see the good, the bad and the ugly but who love you anyway and who will be there for you. Can it get any better? How is your “oreo” principle?

A Life that is Filled with Love

A life that is filled with love will overflow with love. The only way that one can live a life that is filed with love is to live in the love of the One who so loved that He gave us His Son. His love is perfect, sacrificial and eternal. He loves because He is love. When we love because of His love through us then we will have His love for others. It is unconditional. Our love is conditional, imperfect and selfish.

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

His first commandment is to come to Him. When we come to Him then we turn our back on our sin. We can not continue to sin and come to Him. All of us some time or other turned our back on Him and came to sin. Now, He is calling us to turn our back on our sin and come to Him. He will meet us the moment we turn to Him. Then He will let us know the next thing He wants us to do. It will be in accordance with His Word. It may be that He wants us to change friends, or ask forgiveness or forgive someone else.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

If you belong to Him then you will hear His voice. If you do not obey when you hear His voice then you may not hear it again. He waits until you obey. He wants obedience so that you can learn to live in His love. Is there something that you know that you should be doing and have not done it? You need to obey Him.

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness, and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

Moral excellence is obeying the Lord in what His Word says and keeping His commandments. That is the beginning of love. This is why many marriages fail…it is because the couple sowed seeds of a lack of moral excellence before they were married and then they reaped the bad fruit later. Nearly all marriages fail because of the seeds that were sown before marriage. It is the same in all of your relationships. There must be moral excellence for relationships to have the right foundation.

James 3:13-18Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

There are two kinds of wisdom just as there are two kinds of relationships. One of jealousy and selfish ambition or one that is pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and without hypocrisy. How sweet life is when it is done God’s way.

A Life that is Filled with Love

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness, and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

James 3:13-18Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

A Life with a New Heart

Ezekiel 36:26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Ezekiel 36:27,28 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God.

Ezekiel 36:29a Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness;

He will bless us and multiply our resources. He will keep famine away. He will multiply the fruit of our labor.

Ezekiel 36:29b-30a and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field,

He will remove our disgrace among others and take away our shame.

Ezekiel 36:30b so that you will not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations.

Ezekiel 36:31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

A Life of a Beautiful Woman

Beauty to a young lady is like wealth to a young man. If there is not the maturity to go with it then it will become a curse rather than a blessing. It will attract unscrupulous individuals and the naive young lady will be blinded and deceived by the attention her beauty brings to her. Rather than it being used for good it will become her snare if it becomes her main attraction and confidence. There is only one true confidence and that is the Lord. A beautiful young lady must learn to put her confidence in the Lord rather than in the outward appearance which she was given from the Lord.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

If she is wise then she will want the attraction of her inner beauty of being a godly young lady to be greater than the temporary beauty of her outward attraction which will only fade with time.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

A godly young lady who puts her confidence in the Lord will only become stronger and stronger as she matures. Her influence will be greater and her beauty will radiate even more as her countenance will be lifted up.

Ephesians 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

The knowledge of the Lord will brighten her face as she walks with Him and gains in wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 8:1 Who is like the wise man and who knows the interpretation of a matter? A man’s wisdom illumines him and causes his stern face to beam.

Being godly, she will reach out to others and the wisdom that the Lord gives her will feed many.

Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous feed many,

She will live according to God’s ways, or at least seek to know Him and walk with Him and will grow more like Him, and in doing so, will lead others to the Lord and teach others how to walk with Him. She will not only be beautiful on the inside and outside but she will shine in brilliance like the stars forever and ever.

Daniel 12:3 Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

A truly beautiful woman will realize that her beauty is like a beautiful vase and that it is what is inside the vase that gives off the sweet fragrance. The vase can only enhance what is inside but can never replace it.

Ephesians 5:2 and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.

As you learn to walk in love as the Lord commanded and as He has loved you and given Himself up for you, then you too will become a fragrant aroma of the Lord in this world. As your outward beauty fades the inner beauty of the Lord Jesus Christ will grow stronger and stronger and permeate everywhere you go.

II Corinthians 2:14-16a But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life.

There is no greater influence in the world than a beautiful woman who is filled with the Lord’s Holy Spirit and whose life represents the knowledge and love of the Lord. Her life has a power that is greater than all positions in the world and her influence will last for all eternity. Wise is the beautiful young lady who seeks to know the Lord and seeks to be like Him in every way. She will be like salt and light which changes everything that it touches.

A Life Filled with Kindness

If you really want to soar in life then learn kindness and let it be a way of life for you. You will not only experience the kindness of others but you will see the kindness of the Lord.

Psalm 18:25 With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Kindness does not mock at, laugh at or make fun of someone else in unfortunate circumstances. The one who mocks the poor will find himself insulting the Lord and the one who rejoices at someone else’s trouble will be punished.

Proverbs 17:5 The one who mocks the poor insults his Maker, and one who rejoices over calamity will not go unpunished.

Kindness can begin with you and it influences the entire sphere of influence of the kind person. It is like the ripple effect when a rock is thrown into a pond and touches everyone. The godly woman is kind and is one whom the Lord praises, her husband praises her and her children also praise her.

Proverbs 31:20 She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

Kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit. We do not produce it but He produces it through us.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness

If you really want to soar in happiness in your marriage then marry a man who is kind. The opposite of kindness is anger. Kindness thinks about the other person. Anger thinks about himself and is self centered.

Proverbs 19:22 What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

If a man has an edge or always has to be right or has anger issues then run from that man if you are not married to him.

Proverbs 22:24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man,

Often a man who has anger or rage issues also struggles with pornography since they come from the same root word. A man who struggles with these issues will seek to cover it up when he is pursuing a girl so this is why it is crucial that you ask your father what he thinks of the particular young man.

I Corinthians 7:38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

It is the father who gives his daughter away and he will want to give her to a man who will love her. Often, if he does not express his opinion then it is because he may feel as though you have made up your mind already. If he is not supportive of the relationship then you would be wise to back away. Either the young man is not the one or it is not the time.

Proverbs 20:5 A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.

Your father has a lot of wisdom. You need to listen to him and especially when it comes to young men. If he feels that you really want to know what he thinks then he will share insights with you. Women can not see through men and men can not see through women. For this reason it is crucial that a father meets very early in the relationship a prospective young man for her daughter and a mother meets early on a prospective your lady for her son.

Proverbs 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

The Bible says you will be a winner in life and you will be a winner in marriage if you hear your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

Proverbs 1:8,9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction
And do not forsake your mother’s teaching;
Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.

A wreath is what they used to adorn the winners in the Olympic games. Even now, the winners will wear a medal around their neck which is an ornament. You will be a winner in life if you listen and do your mother and father’s teaching.

A Life that Loves

It has been said that people are happiest doing two things and which these two things are loving and learning. The Lord made us to love and He made us to learn. Both of these activities help keep the focus off of ourselves. The most unhappiest people in the world are the people who are all about themselves. We are basically selfish and only the Lord can change our hearts and character so that we will love others more than ourselves. God is love and when we are filled with the Lord’s Spirit then we too will love others as He has loved us.

I John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

God’s love was made known to us through the life and death of His only begotten Son.

I John 4:9-11 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

If the Lord so loved us this way then we also ought to love one another. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

I John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

When the Lord permeates all of your life and relationships then love is what will characterize them. Even if the other people are not loving they will usually eventually respond to the love of Christ in you.

I John 4:12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us.

One of the most exciting things as a Christian is to love people who you naturally would not love and it can only be done by His Holy Spirit abiding in you. He will love through you and will give you a genuine love for others. As you walk with Him then you will start to see others the way Jesus does and you will have compassion on the people you are around.

I John 4:16 We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.

Love is the opposite of judgment. Judgment condemns but love forgives and accepts.

I John 4:17,18 By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

If we love others then we will not fear in the day of judgment because we have done what our Lord commanded of us. His love casts out the fear in us when we will stand before Him. Sin brings guilt and guilt brings fear. Doing right brings peace and peace brings confidence.

I John 4:19-21 We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.

The Lord will love through you. God loves us because He is love. Love is not dependent on the recipient but on the giver. Have you received God’s love? If so, then the evidence will be that you also will love. It is by our love for one another that the world will know that we are Christians.

John 13:34,35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”