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One of the characteristics of a Christian is that of unity with other believers. The Lord considered this so important that it is one of things that He prayed for before He was crucified.

John 17:22,23 The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.

It is pleasant to us and pleasing to the Lord when we dwell together in unity. Notice that the Word says to dwell together. The Lord has called us to be in community with each other.

Psalm 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is For brothers to dwell together in unity!

The Lord says to put on love which is the perfect bond of unity. Love is to characterize us as Christians. Love is considering someone else more important than ourselves.

Colossians 3:14 put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

The source of our love for others is not the person that we are seeking to love but God. When we are filled with the Lord and His Spirit then we will be filled with His love for others.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

It is by our love for one another that people will know that we are Christians and are His children.

John 13:35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

If you really want to soar in life then learn kindness and let it be a way of life for you. You will not only experience the kindness of others but you will see the kindness of the Lord.

Psalm 18:25 With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Kindness does not mock at, laugh at or make fun of someone else in unfortunate circumstances. The one who mocks the poor will find himself insulting the Lord and the one who rejoices at someone else’s trouble will be punished.

Proverbs 17:5 The one who mocks the poor insults his Maker, and one who rejoices over calamity will not go unpunished.

Kindness can begin with you and it influences the entire sphere of influence of the kind person. It is like the ripple effect when a rock is thrown into a pond and touches everyone. The godly woman is kind and is one whom the Lord praises, her husband praises her and her children also praise her.

Proverbs 31:20 She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.

Kindness is part of the fruit of the Spirit. We do not produce it but He produces it through us.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness

If you really want to soar in happiness in your marriage then marry a man who is kind. The opposite of kindness is anger. Kindness thinks about the other person. Anger thinks about himself and is self centered.

Proverbs 19:22 What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

If a man has an edge or always has to be right or has anger issues then run from that man if you are not married to him.

Proverbs 22:24 Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man,

Often a man who has anger or rage issues also struggles with pornography since they come from the same root word. A man who struggles with these issues will seek to cover it up when he is pursuing a girl so this is why it is crucial that you ask your father what he thinks of the particular young man.

I Corinthians 7:38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

It is the father who gives his daughter away and he will want to give her to a man who will love her. Often, if he does not express his opinion then it is because he may feel as though you have made up your mind already. If he is not supportive of the relationship then you would be wise to back away. Either the young man is not the one or it is not the time.

Proverbs 20:5 A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water, But a man of understanding draws it out.

Your father has a lot of wisdom. You need to listen to him and especially when it comes to young men. If he feels that you really want to know what he thinks then he will share insights with you. Women can not see through men and men can not see through women. For this reason it is crucial that a father meets very early in the relationship a prospective young man for her daughter and a mother meets early on a prospective your lady for her son.

Proverbs 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters; The fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.

The Bible says you will be a winner in life and you will be a winner in marriage if you hear your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.

Proverbs 1:8,9 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction
And do not forsake your mother’s teaching;
Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.

A wreath is what they used to adorn the winners in the Olympic games. Even now, the winners will wear a medal around their neck which is an ornament. You will be a winner in life if you listen and do your mother and father’s teaching.

Discernment is the ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, but not what the obvious is to everyone else also. With discernment you can decide before the action takes place whether something is right or wrong. It is a spiritual strength that allows you tell the difference between the spirit of good and the spirit of evil, the spirit of righteousness and the spirit of wickedness. Often the devil will disguise himself as a messenger of good. Something will look good, it will seem as though it would be good for you but it is evil. It will bring you great sorrow.

Genesis 3:4-6 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.

Eve saw three good reasons to eat of the fruit that the Lord told her not to eat. However, it does not matter if there are one hundred reasons to do something, if the Lord says not to do something then you are not to do it. There is only one reason that should determine whether we should do something and the reason is, “does the Lord want us to do it?” Or, has the Lord said not to do something. We do or don’t do everything according to His Word.

Colossians 3:25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.

The Lord does not show partiality. His ways are laws and they are true no matter who keeps them or who does not keep them. Just as the “law of gravity” is a physical law and does not show partiality, neither does God’s laws.

Proverbs 19:3 A person’s own foolishness leads him astray, yet his heart rages against the Lord.

A person who goes his own way or runs his own life will come into trouble by his own doing but then he will get mad at the Lord. If you find yourself saying, “Lord, why did you allow this to happen?” You need to go back and reexamine your actions to see if you violated any of the Lord’s commandments.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

Especially if it is a big decision go to an older godly woman who will speak the truth to you and not what you want to hear. Do not go to a man other than your father or your husband. The Bible says that Eve was deceived but Adam was not deceived. if she had gone to Adam then possibly they would still be in the garden.

Psalm 119:24 Your testimonies also are my delight;
They are my counselors.

God’s Word is the only true counselor. One of His names is Counselor. Whoever you go to for counsel, they must counsel you out of God’s Word, otherwise it is not counsel but opinion, which is almost always wrong.

Isaiah 9:6 And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.

The Lord is a Wonderful Counselor. Wonderful means that you will be full of wonder as you see Him and His marvelous ways.

Hebrews 5:14 But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.

It is your spiritual senses that learn to discern good and evil. We all mess up but don’t give up. Learn from your mistakes so that you do not do it again. It takes much practice in life to mature. Don’t give up and you will become a mature Christian.

A gracious life will receive honor. A gracious woman is a beautiful lady and a woman that lacks graciousness is displeasing to the senses.

Proverbs 11:16 A gracious woman attains honor,

A gracious lady knows how to speak in such a way that she gives grace to her hearers. The opposite is a woman who speaks or acts in such a way that people need grace to be around her and listen to her.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

A righteous person does not want to disgrace or shame someone but will seek to cover up their shame. Joseph was called a righteous man and he did not want to disgrace Mary when he thought that she had sinned.

Matthew 1:19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.

The opposite of a gracious lady is a woman who is a gossip. This is a lack of moral excellence and will destroy her friendships, her reputation and people will not trust her.

I Timothy 3:11 Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.

The Bible says to not associate with a gossip and certainly do not be a friend with one who talks about others and reveals their secrets.

Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.

A gracious person is a joy to be around and it is a privilege and gift to have a gracious lady as a friend. Are you the kind of person that others seek as a friend? Do you seek wise ladies to be your friends?

Ecclesiastes 10:12 Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him;

Jesus was full of grace and it was evident in His words as well as His actions.

Luke 4:22 And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips; and they were saying, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”

The Lord has called His daughters to be responders. First of all, we need to learn to respond to Him. He is the great pursuer and He longs to have a relationship with you and to fellowship with you on a daily basis and even moment by moment. He loves it when you pray to Him about everything.

Proverbs 15: 8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, But the prayer of the upright is His delight.

He wants you to pray to Him about everything and not to worry about anything.

I Peter 3:4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

A lady needs to learn to cast all of her cares on Him.

I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

He wants you to become a woman after His heart and to learn to respond to His heart rather than go through the motions of being religious.

Deuteronomy 5:29 Oh that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!

David was a man after God’s heart and that is why the Lord chose him to be king of Israel. The Lord will use you in a way that will bring you great joy when you learn to be a woman after God’s heart.

Acts13:22 After He had removed him, He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’

The Lord is looking for one who will give their heart completely to Him. He will support you and you will abide in His love.

II Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolishly in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.”

If the Lord is for you then who can be against you? You will always come out victorious. He will withhold nothing from you that you need.

Romans 8:31,32 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

A life that listens to the voice of the Good Shepherd is a life that lives in tranquility. The Lord speaks to us in different ways. He says that His sheep hear His voice. This is what He wants. He wants to speak to you through His Holy Spirit that He has made to dwell within you. He speaks to your spirit when you become spiritually alive. You become spiritually alive when you become born again. You become one of His sheep and He becomes your Shepherd. As your Good Shepherd, who lays down His life for the sheep, He will protect you and guide your steps to keep you out of harm.

John10:11 “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

He knows you by name and calls to you. He will communicate His love for you in many different ways. You will see His hand and hear His voice.

John 10:14-16 I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear My voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd.

He has sheep throughout the world and all through the ages. We belong to the Shepherd and He makes us one, regardless of color or race. He is the good Shepherd. The word “good” means the highest form of love. He has an unconditional love for each one of us. There is nothing that we can do to cause Him to love us more.

Proverbs 6:22 When you walk about, they will guide you;  When you sleep, they will watch over you; And when you awake, they will talk to you.

He speaks to you through His Word. You must be faithful to put it in your heart so that when the time comes that you need comfort or guidance or whatever your need is, He can talk to you as you walk about and even when you are asleep or awake.

Psalm 127:2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

The word “beloved” means just what it says, “be loved”. The Lord calls you beloved because He wants you to be loved by Him. Let Him love you as He longs to do. Let your striving be your seeking after Him so that you can hear His voice. He will give to you even in your sleep.

A life of understanding is a very exciting life. Could you imagine understanding matters that the world wonders about and yet never come to know? They are ever seeking but never coming to the knowledge of the truth.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.

The beginning of true understanding is to not lean on your own understanding. We look and perceive with our eyes and ears. All we can do is observe but not know about the inner workings of many matters in life. When we look to Him then He gives us insight into the “why”. The creator of the universe who made it all not only understands but will give to His children great understanding. For example, “why do men behave the way they do?” We know a man’s wants but what are his needs? The Lord who made men knows them better than anyone and will give you insight. The Bible says that the eyes of man are never satisfied. Once a man’s wants are satisfied then he will often go elsewhere. There are certain things that a man needs and he will generally go, stay and return to where his needs are met. The same is true for all of us. We will go where our needs are met but our wants are constantly changing.

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

If you want to understand then rather than study the desired object get to know the One who is the Creator of all things.

Exodus 35:31 And He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding and in knowledge and in all craftsmanship;

Keeping God’s commandments will give you understanding. Obedience comes before understanding. Often we want to understand and then obey but faith is obeying first and then He rewards us with understanding.

Deuteronomy 4:6 So keep and do them, for that is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all these statutes and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’

God’s Word is what gives understanding.

Psalm 119:130 The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.

The fear of the Lord and understanding go together.

Psalm 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;

Ask the Lord for understanding. King Solomon asked for understanding and it pleased the Lord so much that He gave him riches, honor and life.

I Kings 3:9 So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours?”

He gives understanding and along with understanding comes blessing.

Job 12:13 With Him are wisdom and might; To Him belong counsel and understanding.

To depart from evil is understanding.

Job 28:28 “And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.’ “

Apart from understanding, which is the knowledge of the Lord, we are like the beasts that perish.

Psalm 49:20 Man in his pomp, yet without understanding, Is like the beasts that perish.

One who seeks understanding has a heart to obey the Lord.

Psalm 119:34 Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart.

Do you struggle with confusion? The opposite of confusion is understanding. The Lord says that He is not a God of confusion. When you find yourself saying, “I am so confused,” then stop what you are doing and ask the Lord to give you understanding and seek Him in His Word. He wants to give you the knowledge of Him and show you understanding.

I Corinthians 2:9, 14-16 but just as it is written, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him.”

But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised. But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

The truly spiritual Christian appraises all things yet he himself is appraised by no one. The non Christian, or natural man, does not accept nor understand the things of the Lord.

Often people will ask, “How do I know what is God’s will for my life?”.  Is it possible to know His will? There are several ways to help you know the will of the Lord for your life.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

There are three aspects of God’s will. The will of God will always be good and acceptable and perfect.

Mark 10:18 No one is good except God alone.

God is good. The word good means the highest form of love. God’s will for you will be loving for others. If something you want to do does not express the love of God then it is not God’s will for you to do it. There are many things that are not a sin but they are not loving because the activity may make someone stumble. If you think then that you will do it in secret then it will be okay because it will not make anyone stumble then you are not acting wisely.

Proverbs 18:1 He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom.

God’s will is always wise because He is the fullness of wisdom.

Colossians 2:2,3 a true knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ Himself,  in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

God’s will is perfect. You will know what is God’s will when there is nothing to add to it and nothing to take from it. If you ever find yourself saying, “I really like him “but”…” or “I really want to do this “but”…” then you find that the “but” is what will come back to bite you later on and will bring great frustration and sometimes torment. The Lord has give you authority to help you in your desire to know God’s will. Go to the ones over you and ask them what they think. Often the Lord will speak through them. Maybe that particular thing that you want is His will but not His timing yet. Until there is nothing to add to it and nothing to take away do not do it but wait on the Lord and ask Him to help you.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

the will of the Lord will always be acceptable. God is holy and He has commanded us to be holy.

I Peter 1;15,16 but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;  because it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

God’s will can be seen in His commandments. His commandments are holy and He has called us to be holy so His will will never violate what He has said in His Word. His will for your life will always be acceptable to Him.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

So ask yourself concerning something that you are wondering if it is His will…”Is this person I want to be with, this place I want to go or this thing I want to do” good and acceptable and perfect? If it does not meet these three criteria then do not do it. The Bible says that you will lie down in torment if you “light your own fire” rather than trust in the Lord and rely on Him.

Isaiah 50:10,11 Who is among you that fears the Lord,
That obeys the voice of His servant,
That walks in darkness and has no light?
Let him trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God.
Behold, all you who kindle a fire,
Who encircle yourselves with firebrands,
Walk in the light of your fire
And among the brands you have set ablaze.
This you will have from My hand:
You will lie down in torment.

One more thing, is there something already in your life that you know that you should be doing that you are not doing? You need to do what He has already shown you before you will receive more light concerning something else. Obedience brings light.