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A man’s greatest need is to get rid of his guilt. We all come into the world innocent but the guilt quickly starts to build up because we all mess up. However, guilt makes a man’s life crooked and then that leads to more guilt. Guilt will torment the soul of a man and if he doesn’t get rid of his guilt then he will do stupid things to try to forget or escape from the guilt. Again, those things don’t work but just piles on more guilt. Guilt will destroy a man because when a man feels guilty then he will also believe other people are guilty, when they are not but his guilt is such a reality to him that it distorts his true sense of reality. Even more important, when a man is guilty then he starts to have a twisted view of God. This is why he needs to rid himself of his guilt because all of us respond to our view of God. If we believe that God is loving and cares about us then we will go to Him. If we believe that God is distant or “the old man upstairs” then we will not go to Him. We need God and God loves us, no matter how big of a mess we have gotten ourselves in. Man needs to always be able to go to God for help for He says that “He is a present help in time of trouble”.

The way of a guilty man is crooked, But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

Understanding the Provision for Man’s Greatest Need

The Lord says that if we will come to Him and confess our sin then He will cleanse our conscience and heart. It is just like in the old days of basketball, when a player would foul, then he would raise his hand, acknowledging that he fouled. Basically, that is what confession is, it is acknowledging that we have messed up and it is our fault. The greatest need of a man is to have a pure heart. When a man has a pure heart then he will see life clearly. He will also see God for who He really is and that is, that God is a loving and merciful God. He will also be able to love others with a pure heart and will not want to blame others.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

There is only One who can take away sin and guilt. The only One who can forgive is the One who paid for the sins of the world. He can cleanse the heart and make anyone pure no matter what they have done. However, the person who wants to be cleansed and forgiven must come to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive them. If he means it then he will turn from his sin to the Lord. Either we are going in the direction of our sin or we are going in the direction of the Lord.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” John8:3-11

When a person repents (turns from his sin to the Lord) and confesses and has been forgiven then they are set free from the guilt and sin. Then a person can see the Lord for who He really is, that He is kind. Until a person is forgiven then they will see the Lord as twisted and will view others as twisted (and the troubles in life as everyone else’s fault). Many men who are unfaithful to their wives will accuse their wife of unfaithfulness because of their own guilt. Until a man is restored to a right relationship with God and has been forgiven and cleansed from their sin and guilt then do not get into a relationship with him. Your life will become tormented through him as he is a tormented man.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25,26

Understand How Love Can Be Lost

A common mistake that is made concerning love is that people look for love in the wrong places. God’s design for love between a man and a woman is in marriage. Marriage protects the love and gives it satisfaction. When someone opens the gift of God’s love for marriage before the time then it will bring a moment of pleasure as if you were to open a Christmas gift before Christmas and wrap it back up for Christmas day. There would not be the anticipation as God designed nor the pleasure and satisfaction that is promised when done right. Love can only be found when done God’s way and when love is done God’s way it is very satisfying.Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

Understand What Happens When a Person Does Wrong

When a person does what is wrong then because of guilt he tries to close off a part of his soul to do the wrong and the very part of his soul that he closes off is the very part of him that allows him to experience the enjoyment and satisfaction of the pleasure. There will be a moment of pleasure but no lasting satisfaction so he is left feeling empty. There is a law of diminishing returns. He must do more and more to try to find the same pleasure and he must close off his conscience even more. He will find himself doing things that earlier his conscience would not have done. Men often do not realize that they are bringing destruction to themselves by their immorality and destroying their ability to love and have a satisfying relationship with a woman. When they close off their conscience to what they are doing then they close off their ability to find love. They start seeing women as objects to be used and since a person can not live with guilt they will often use alcohol or drugs to escape their guilt. After a while, if he continues then he will find himself among the walking dead. He will eat and breathe but his life will not have much meaning.

For the wages of sin is death, Romans 6:23a

Understand the destruction that will come to you with an immoral man. The same will happen to you if you are immoral. Your life will become empty and you will become bitter toward men. A girl will sometimes think that if she gives sex then she will find love but the very opposite happens. Love will not be found but rather disrespect and abuse. A man will not use and abuse a girl who is moral. If he won’t date you if you don’t sleep with him then do not date him nor have anything to do with him. He does not even have the capacity at this point to love.

For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life. Proverbs 2:18,19

A man who has been immoral with a woman must cry out to God for mercy and must turn to God with all of his heart. The Bible calls him naive and foolish for he thinks that he is getting something but in the end it will cost him his life. A woman who has been immoral must also cry out to God for help and mercy and turn from her way. The Lord will hear men and women who cry out to Him. He is the only hope for all have sinned and fallen short of God’s design. He is able to forgive, cleanse and bring healing and restoration.

The Bible says that one of the things that no one understands is the way of a man with a woman when he is “in love” with her. Men will often do things when they are in love with a woman, that they would not do in any other situation. The Bible says that when a man meets the woman for him that she will be his desire and the delight of his eyes. She will also be his pride and his crown when he wins her heart and hand in marriage. Love is a mystery and it is one of the most powerful influences on earth. Love is intoxicating and satisfying when it is done God’s way. Love sweetens the blows of disappointment, gives comfort, fills the emptiness of loneliness and brings joy to the journey in life. Love energizes and motivates to higher goals and all of mankind longs for love. Love is far more than sexual and when someone is in love then it invades their spirit, soul and body and reaches to the very core of a person. It is pleasant and there is nothing that compares to it. Love is worth more than anything money can buy and without love a person’s life is meaningless. The way of a man with a woman is a mystery and a man is never the same again once he is in love with a woman.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18,19

Understand the Gift of a Man’s Love

When a man marries a woman then he gives her his heart, soul and body. When a man truly loves a woman there is nothing good that he will withhold from her. He longs for a wife that he can trust and that will do him good all of the days of her life. A man wants a wife who will be faithful to him through good times and bad times. When he believes that he has found this woman then he will give his all to her. A man is usually much more nervous on his wedding day because he is much more aware of the cost of his commitment and he is willing to commit himself completely and totally to her. He is taking responsibility for her and is willing to sacrifice his life, if necessary for her. A woman, on the other hand, is receiving the gift of his love on her wedding day. She loves him but he loves her more. She is waiting to see if his commitment and love is true. She believes he loves her but she still wants to see it, feel it and hear it over and over again. For this reason, it is not enough for the woman to hear on her wedding day, “I love you” and not ever hear it again. She will never get tired of hearing it nor will she tire of any sincere attempts at love. He will learn to love her and wise is the wife who receives her husband’s love with much gratitude.

and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; I Timothy 4:4b

A husband needs to feel that his wife appreciates him. Being married and loving his wife is a new experience for him and he wants to do it right. You have been blessed when you get married and a man gives his heart to you. Cherish this gift and never take it for granted. You will not ceased to be blessed when you marry a man who loves you. He will want to change where he needs to change and he will mature in his love and in his character. He will be a good husband and a good father and you will be blessed all of the days of your life.

When God created man the Lord also gave man three M’s that needed to be fulfilled. These three M’s also need to be fulfilled in a certain order, if they are not fulfilled in the right order then frustration and depression can come to the man. First man must choose who His Master will be. Love always is a choice. Man must choose whether he will love the Lord God, and loving the Lord means that man will submit to God as Lord and Master of his life and obey His commandments. Having the Lord as his Master means that man will follow the Lord and live according to His ways. The Lord loves man perfectly and He will be not only his Lord but He will be His Savior (save him (be there for him) in this life and save him in the life to come). He will be his Shepherd and comfort and guide him to the end and be with him in death. He will protect him and provide for him, as man learns to call on the Lord. The Lord created Adam and as his Creator the rightful place in Adam’s life was that the Lord would be Adam’s Master.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Next, man must choose his mission in life. The Lord has given each man a job to do and man must find out what the Lord has for him. When a man chooses the Lord to be his Master then the Lord will direct his steps in choosing his mission. The Lord gave Adam the job of tending the Garden of Eden and naming the animals. It is best for the man to know his mission before his next M, which is, he must choose his mate. Not all women are suitable for every mission and it is best for the man to know where he is going before he asks another to follow him. God initiates toward man and man must choose to respond to the invitation to follow God and then man initiates toward a woman and she must decide if this is the man that she is to follow. The three M’s in a man’s life are Master, Mission and Mate.

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:19-22

Understand that a girl must choose who her Master will be and trust Him to choose what her mission will be and who her mate will be. For a female, her mission will be, to be a helpmate to her husband. This does not mean that she can’t have a job or a career but it is best for her to see what the mission of her future husband will be and see if their paths will go together. However, after she is married then she must give to the Lord all of her plans and allow the Lord to direct her through her husband. When she gets married, her husband becomes her head and he is the head of their home, so her plans must be in accordance with what he wants her to do. Many marriages fail because the two people go in different directions and their lives drift apart. Two people in a marriage must walk together and be united. If you can not give up your career and your dreams to marry a man then don’t marry him. You don’t have to get married. You can not serve two masters, for you will love the one and hate the other, and a home can not have two heads. One of the frustrations for married women who work is the conflict of pleasing their boss and their husband. You will eventually have to choose. Maybe your husband will want you to work and will understand your work situation but you don’t know. It is best to give your expectations to the Lord, and let the Lord give back to you what His will is for you, rather than cling to what you desire and end up frustrated and resentful. Being a wife and a mother is one of the highest callings in life and a woman who puts her heart into it and who does it well will have a very fulfilling life and great joy.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, Ephesians 5:22,23a

A woman changes as she goes through life. When she is young she might think that she might want a career and travel and see the world. Nothing is wrong with that but sometimes she makes these plans “in case” no one comes along. When she meets the man she wants to marry then sometimes she still thinks about a particular career. As long as there are no conflicts after they get married and her husband is totally for it, then it is no problem for her to work. However, the Lord made women to have children and to make a home for her family. A mother’s heart is with her children. A female changes after she gets married and then she changes again after she has children. She is not aware of how strong the mother instinct is until she looks at her newborn baby. Most mothers will die for their children. Her heart is no longer in her job as it was before. Life becomes different and it helps to be aware of the changes that will come with motherhood.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

How blessed and happy is the husband and how blessed and happy are the children who have a wife and mother who fears the Lord and loves her family. How blessed is the nation which has godly women for wives and mothers. A woman who fears the Lord will please the Lord, love and satisfy her husband and she will love and teach her children the right way to live. She will be that support for her husband that he needs and she will set her children up for success. There will be great peace, great joy and much love in that home.

Wisdom is knowing what to do in any situation, how to respond, what to say, what to do and what not to do, how to get out of a mess, how to succeed, and everything else that you need in life. The Bible says that if you are wise then you are wise for yourself but if you ignore wisdom and do not ask for wisdom then you alone will bear the pain. Everyone else may sympathize with you, but at the end of the day, you are the one with the broken heart or the rejection. The Bible also says that the person who has wisdom enjoys life. Wisdom is the secret to everything. Life is challenging and since every day is a new day, wisdom is what gives you the confidence that life can and will get better. If you do not have wisdom then you are just hoping you are making the right decision and guessing on what to do. Wisdom is the light in the darkness. Wisdom is not what you always want to hear but it is what you need to hear. Over and over again, Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear”. Listen to wisdom and do what wisdom tells you to do and you will soar in life and love. Wisdom is the opposite of foolishness.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

Understand that Pain Comes from Not Knowing Wisdom

Someone once said that stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Have you been hurt many times in relationships? Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over again? Do you blame others for the pain in your life? You need to ask yourself, “how long am I going to allow myself to be hurt?” and “what am I doing that needs to change?” God’s ways are wisdom. God’s ways are not politically correct. God’s ways are not going to be popular but they are good and will keep you from being hurt. The Lord wants to teach us how to do life. He is loving and compassionate towards us. He wants you to be loved and wants you to learn to trust again, if you have been hurt. Go to Him and ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give to all who ask Him and without criticizing you!

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Understand that the Lord loves you and if you will come to Him then He will help you. He made you and He understands how fragile your heart is and what you need. He is gentle and humble and when you come to Him then you will find rest for your soul.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28,29