Love in marriage – Page 15 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love is not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life with Love Does Not Judge

Judging someone is the opposite of loving someone. The Lord has not called us to judge but to love. There is only One Lawgiver and Judge.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor? James 4:12

The Lord has called us to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul and mind and our neighbor as ourselves, that is, how we would want someone else to love us. We can not love and judge at the same time. When we are judging someone then we are presuming something about someone else when we do not have all of the facts. We are not all knowing. There is only One who is all knowing and He will judge righteously.

Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. James 4:11

The Lord has called us to be a doer of His word and not a judge of it. If we are only a hearer of the word and not a doer then we are only deceiving ourselves and His truth and love is not in us.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:22

When Adam and Eve sinned they became a judge of God and His Word and not a lover of God and a doer of His Word. They presumed about the Lord and His character and so they hid themselves.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 2:8-10

Adam was afraid because he know longer knew the Lord. His view of God became distorted because of his sin and Adam began making a judgment of God of what he thought God was like. Everything that you and I do is a response to our view of God. Everything that every person in the world does is a response to their view of God. For this reason, our greatest need is to have the correct view of God. God is not who we judge Him to be but God is who God is, whether we know Him or not. When the Bible uses the word “know” someone, it means an intimate knowledge of the person. Adam lost his intimacy with God when he sinned. He no longer knew Him and Adam’s judgment of God became twisted. God is not twisted but Adam’s view of God became distorted and twisted.

With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:26

Only God can cleanse our heart. Our heart becomes clean when we are forgiven of our sin. Only God can forgive us of our sin. Jesus Christ shed His blood on the cross to forgive us of our sin, to forgive us for wanting and trying to be like God. He came to forgive us of judging God and everyone else.

And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. Hebrews 9:22

The correct view of God will only come when our heart has been cleansed and is pure. A pure heart is a heart that by faith is single minded in its purpose to trust and obey God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

The Lord wants to reveal Himself to all of us but He waits until we have drawn near to Him through faith, by His grace, and have had our hearts cleansed through the blood of Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross to forgive us of our sins. He took all of our sins and gave us all of His righteousness that we might once again be restored to a loving relationship with God and know God intimately.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

A Life with Love Does Not Hide

When Adam and Eve loved God they did not hide from Him. When they loved each other they did not hide from each other. It was not until sin came into the world that man began to hide from God and from each other. We will hide behind all sorts of coverings and facades. We hide because we are insecure. Love makes us secure but sin takes away our security.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:7-10

Of course the Lord knew where Adam and Eve were. He knows where all of us are and exactly what we are doing and what we have done. There is nothing hidden from Him.

And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do. Hebrews 4:13

The Lord asked Adam where he was not so that God would know, for He already knew, but He asked Adam so that Adam would acknowledge where he was and what he had done. The Lord wants an honest heart and not a person who pretends to be somewhere they are not or someone whom they are not. The Lord is still asking man, “Where are you in relation to God?”

But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance. Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed; but he puts it on a lampstand, so that those who come in may see the light. For nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be known and come to light. Luke 8:15-17

It is not until we learn to be honest with the Lord can we be honest with each other. We can not trust ourselves, for our hearts are deceitful. We deceive ourselves but we can trust the Lord. We can not deceive Him.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty,
But who can find a trustworthy man? Proverbs 20:6

How do you know if someone is trustworthy? Many a man will proclaim to a girl his loyalty. How does she know if he will keep his wedding vows to her? How does she know if he will be faithful to her? There is a way that she can know if he is trustworthy before marriage and if he is trustworthy before marriage then there is a much greater chance that he will be trustworthy after marriage. If he fails this test then there is a much greater possibility that he will not be faithful to her after marriage. Trustworthiness comes from the words “worthy of trust”. A man who is worthy of trust will be faithful to the Lord before marriage and will not touch a girl in an inappropriate manner. Trust must be characterized by moral excellence. A man exhibits self control when he controls his passions before marriage and if he can control his passions before marriage then he will most likely control his passions after marriage.

Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love. II Peter 1:5-7

The beginning of love must be faith in God. Then for there to be love there must be moral excellence and then knowledge and then self control. A man must persevere in his self control and as he perseveres then he will become godly and learn kindness and then he will learn to love as God has loved him. This is the only kind of love that will last. This is a pure love that is built on the Lord and the man who loves like this will be blessed in his marriage and he will be a blessing to the woman he marries. She will trust him for he will have proven himself to be trustworthy. He will have nothing to hide from God or from his wife or others.

A Life with Love Does Not Change

Love does not change. If it does then it is not love. God is love and He does not change. There are two things that will not change and it is these two things that give us security in this world and security for all eternity. When Adam and Eve sinned God’s love did not change for them. He loved them as much as he had loved them before. It was Adam and Eve who had changed and they could no longer experience God’s love.

“For I, the Lord, do not change; Malachi 3:6a

It was God, the Father and Jesus, the Son of God who said in the beginning, “Let us make man in our image.”

Jesus Christ is God’s only begotten Son, equal with God, the Father, and He does not change.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

God’s Word does not change. Those who have put their trust in Jesus Christ have been born again into His family through the living and enduring Word of God. It endures forever and will never change.

for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God. For, “All flesh is like grass,
And all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
And the flower falls off,
But the word of the Lord endures forever.” I Peter 1:23-25a

When God made Adam and Eve, his plan for them was love. He said that if they would keep His commandments then they would live and not die. His plan was for them to live in His love for all eternity. He never designed that they would experience grief, death, guilt, fear, shame, regret, slavery or any of the other horrible consequences of disobeying Him and rejecting living in His love. When they sinned He did not reject them. They rejected God. He still loved them and came up with another provision for them to live in His love. His provision was to be a sacrificial love so that man could “see” how much God loved them. Those who receive this sacrificial love will live forever in God’s love and will never need to hide again.

“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:1-3

God loves you and He says that one day He will come back and take those who love Him to the home that He has prepared for them. Jesus Christ said that He would die and rise again from the dead and He did, just as He said. He is risen and and will raise us up also to live forever with Him in His love, just as He says. He is our hope. We do not need to fear. He says that He loves us and God will never lie. We can trust Him and His Word completely. Let not your heart be troubled you who have believed in God and His Word. He is alive and you also will live with Him. God does not change.

A Life with Love Can Be Rejected

Love to the soul is like food for the body. We need it, we long for it if we do not have it and we will do almost anything to get it. This is where many a young person gets into trouble. Looking for love in the wrong places. A price can not be put on love because it is the greatest gift that you can ever receive from another and only a fool exchanges love. God is the source of all love and He offers His love to every single person in the world. The Bible describes the fool as one who rejects God’s love and lives as if there is no God. Adam and Eve rejected God’s love when they chose to live as if there was no God. They disobeyed the God of the universe and thought they knew better than their Creator.

The fool has said in his heart,”There is no God.” They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; Psalm 14:1a

When Adam and Eve rejected God’s love and did not obey the Lord and His command for them they sinned and their hearts became not only foolish but wicked. They received a sinful nature because now they had a sinful heart that was both foolish and wicked.

The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him.
All his thoughts are, “There is no God.” Psalm 10:4

Not only did Adam and Eve not seek the Lord but they hid from Him when they heard the sound of God walking in the garden. The wicked person also will seek to avoid Christians who are living for the Lord. Haughtiness is another word for pride. It is our pride that does not want to need God or seek Him.

Adam and Eve hid themselves because they were ashamed and guilty. When they hid from God they could no longer experience His love for them. His love had not changed but they had changed. Sin does this to us. It changes us and all of our relationships. We become insecure and we not only want to hide from God but we want to cover ourselves up around others. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We have rejected God and His love when we sin and now we are fearful that others will reject us. The most secure people in the world are those who have experienced God’s salvation and live in fellowship with the Lord and obey His commands. They have nothing to fear.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the defense of my life;
Whom shall I dread? Psalm 27:1

A Life with Love Makes a Home

We all need a home. A home is different from a house. A home is where you feel loved and secure. A home is where you can go anytime and you are always welcome. It is your home and it was made for you to dwell there. A home offers protection from the world and the elements. The storms of this world, whether emotional or physical, can be cold and seem cruel and relentless at times but if you have a home then you have a shelter. We all long for a place where we feel loved and secure that we can call our home. When Adam and Eve sinned they lost their home. Sin and rebellion sometimes does that to us. The devil lies about or minimizes the consequences of sin and the price that we pay for not obeying the Lord. It probably did not occur to Adam and Eve that they would lose their home.

therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. Genesis 3:23

The Lord had to send them out from the garden, where life was a delight, lest they eat of the tree of life and live forever in their sinful state. Love makes a home for the lonely and the Lord began preparing a place for Adam and Eve, where they would be safe and secure and which would never be taken away from them but that home would come later for those who would put their faith in Jesus Christ.

Adam and Eve still had a choice of whether or not they were going to love God or go their own way and do their own thing. However, because of sin, life becomes harder and Adam’s work was harder because the land had weeds and thistles. Work was no longer the delight that it had been before. He could rebel again, and make it even harder for himself, or he could learn to trust and obey the Lord and God’s help would be available for him even in his difficulty.

Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life. Genesis 3:22-24

It was God’s love that sent Adam out of the garden. It is God’s love that gives us a home. If we will not rebel against the Lord but learn to trust Him then He makes a home for the lonely.

God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land. Psalm 68:6

A Life with Love is Relational

Love is about relationships. The Lord made us to be in a relationship with Him and in relationship with others. It is not good to alone. It is love that makes the relationships alive and meaningful and the relationships that we have define our lives. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God then their relationship with God changed and they changed.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food,and that it was a delight to the eyes,and that the tree was desirable to make wise,she took from its fruit and ate;and she gave also to her husband with her,and he ate.Then the eyes of both of them were opened,and they knew that they were naked;and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. Genesis 3:6,7

Sin always changes people and relationships. Something within us is destroyed and we no longer enjoy the freedom and security that we had before we sinned. Adam and Eve were ashamed and insecure. They tried to cover themselves up.

Righteousness exalts a nation,
But sin is a disgrace to any people. Proverbs 14:34

Sin also makes us fearful. The only problem was that there was nothing that they needed to be afraid of but sin distorts reality in our mind and we start responding not to the Lord and His Word but to our fears. When we respond to our fears then our life becomes anxious and even more insecure. Those who obey the Lord have no need to fear. They know the Lord and have put their trust in Him.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord.
“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8

Sin brings guilt and guilt changes our thoughts and our actions. The guilt in our lives will change the path that we take so that we can avoid any reminder of the guilt. God made man so that he can not live without love and in the same way, God made man so that he can not live with guilt. Man will do anything that he can to try to get rid of the guilt or to block it out. Since man can not get rid of his own guilt, his actions only lead to more guilt. It is a horrible life.

The way of a guilty man is crooked,
But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

The path of the guilty is no longer straight but it is crooked. His conduct becomes even more crooked just as the saying goes, “the leg of a lie gets longer and longer”. The guilt in a person’s life will twist their view of everything. They will no longer see clearly and will become suspicious of even those who have done them no wrong. Even their view of God becomes distorted.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25,26

The Lord is good and loving. He is kind and blameless. However, to the guilty and crooked person He becomes twisted in their mind and eyes. The most important thing in a person’s life is their view of God. Everything that man does is a response to his view of God. God is not who you think that He is, He is who He is and He reveals Himself to those who seek Him with a pure heart. The view that you have of God is not an indication of who He is but it is more an indication of the purity of your heart.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

There is only One who can take your sin and guilt away and give you a clean heart and that is Jesus Christ.

The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29

He came to earth, died on the cross and rose again to take the punishment that all of us deserve, to forgive us of our sin and to restore us to a relationship with God.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

A Life with Love Must Be Together

Love must be together. Love is relational and relationships must be nurtured to grow strong. The Lord brings a man and a woman together in marriage to be with each other. Your marriage will not grow strong and your love will not grow deeper unless there is an investment of your money and your time. These are the treasures that each of us have and when we invest our treasures in the marriage then our heart will be in it also. The love has become cold in many a marriage simply because the relationship was neglected and the two people have drifted apart. Each one invested their time, energy and money elsewhere and their heart was no longer with their spouse.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

The more shared experiences then the stronger the marriage. Just as in the past when they used to make a rope strong, it was made of many many little strands of hemp. It was almost impossible to even cut through a thick rope. In the same way, the more shared experiences that married couples have then the stronger the bonds of marriage will be and when the enemy attacks then it will have a much harder time breaking the bonds of marriage. Love grows through sharing each others joys and sorrows.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 4:32-5:2

Your marriage and love will deepen as you each learn to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other just as Christ also has forgiven us. As you and your spouse learn to walk in love and to consider the other one more important than one’s ownself then your marriage will be a fragrant aroma to the Lord and to the world.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; Hebrews 13:4a

As you can see, it says marriage bed, not marriage beds. A marriage will not grow strong if each of the married partners sleep in a different bed. Don’t do it. The Lord will help you if one of you has a hard time sleeping. There is something about sharing the same bed that keeps a couple together.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Matthew 19:6

Separation is opposite of being together. The devil tries first to separate a married couple and then divorce is often next. If someone counsels you to separate then they are not with God but against God. Let no man separate, means let no man counsel you to separate nor let another come in between you and your spouse. A woman should never confide in any other man other than her husband. She should not go to a pastor or a male counselor to get marriage help. A woman can almost always get a man’s sympathy and a man can not see through a woman’s tears, hurts, etc. and give her the truth of what she needs to hear.

The first to plead his case seems right,
Until another comes and examines him. Proverbs 18:17

A man can not see through a woman and a woman can not see through a man. In the same way, a man should not go to a woman for counsel. Older men can help a younger man to learn to love his wife and to understand her and older women are God’s provision to help women in learning how to love and respect their husband.

A Life with Love Has An Enemy

Love has an enemy that wants to destroy it and the people in the relationship where love is. God is love and there will only be true love where God is but there is one who hates God and he will do everything he can to destroy what the Lord establishes. The Lord is the One who brings people together in marriage.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

The Lord made the marriage to be between male and a female. He joins them together and they become one flesh. They are no longer two but one. The Lord’s blueprint for marriage is that the two people are to stay married until one of them dies and then the length of the marriage has been completed. However, the devil hates what God has ordained and he tries to destroy the love, the marriage and the people in the marriage. The enemy of love is not flesh and blood but it is spiritual forces.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:10-12

Struggles will come in any marriage but if you recognize who the real enemy is then you can stand firm together and resist him.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

As both of you, or even if one of you, will recognize the real enemy then you can resist him and he will flee. You must be strong in the Lord and you resist him through submitting to God and in the strength of God’s might. He will have to flee.

But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes. II Corinthians 2:10,11

Do not be ignorant of his schemes. He wants one of you to harbor unforgiveness in your heart. We all wrong each other and hurt each other, and often we are not even aware of it. If you will learn to forgive quickly then that keeps Satan from getting a foothold in the marriage. The Bible says that he is “an accuser of the brethren”. He wants to accuse each one of you to the other. He might say, something like, “If he really loved you then he would not do that.” Not so, for a man often does not know what will hurt his wife. He has to learn to live with her in an understanding way. It does not come naturally.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way,

I peter 3:7

In the same way, a wife needs to learn how to respect her husband and love him the way that God designed. It is different from the way a wife “wants” to be loved. She will often love him the way she wants to be loved and the man will do the same. The older women are instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:4,5

This word love in “to love their husbands” means that they are to want their husbands. A man marries a woman because he thinks that she wants him. If she does not communicate this after marriage then he will feel rejected.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

The devil will do what he can to get the man to not love his wife and to get the woman to not respect her husband. It takes two to destroy a relationship. A marriage is only dysfunctional if both people are not doing what the Lord called them to do. If only one person is disobedient then that person is dysfunctional and the obedience of their partner will help them become the wife or husband that the Lord called them to be.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. I Peter 3:1,2

Marriage relationships are work but when they work the way the Lord designed then they are the sweetest relationships on earth. They are a taste of heaven to the marriage partners and they are salt and light to the rest of the world. When each partner does the work that God has called them to do and be the spouse that God designed them to be then God is glorified.

I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do. John 17:4

A Life with Love Can Be Misdirected

The heart is where the soul abides and where the seed of love is born and grows in people. The heart is our innermost being where we long for intimacy, that is, to know and to be known. The heart is where we are vulnerable and what we guard, for when we give our heart away then we give a part of us away as well.

Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

It is in our heart that our deepest longings and desires are. In the secret places of our heart are our dreams and plans that we long to see fulfilled in our lives.

A plan in the heart of a man is like deep water,
But a man of understanding draws it out. Proverbs 20:5

A good friend or a good wife with understanding knows how to draw the plans out of their friend or spouse and encourage them to become the person they were designed to be and do the plans in their heart that they dream of doing. However, a good friend or good wife will also see when their friend or spouse’s heart is getting misdirected. Eve’s heart was misdirected when she started loving and desiring things that the Lord did not have for her. She exchanged the love of God for the love of the world.

Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. I John 2:15-17

Eve’s heart started to be misdirected to temporal things that will not satisfy rather than listen to the Lord and choose to do what is right by doing His will, which will always bring satisfaction and much gladness. One of the meanings of righteousness is “doing what is right in God’s eyes”. Lawlessness is ignoring or neglecting God’s laws, principles, commands and truths and doing what you want to do. It will bring much sorrow. Jesus was the happiest man on earth because He loved righteousness and did what was right in God’s eyes.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

So, even though the fruit seemed good to Eve it was not good. It was not right for her to do what the Lord had told them not to do. Not only did Eve no longer have the love of God in her but because her heart was misdirected she loved the world and was no longer happy. Sin only offers a passing pleasure which soon fades away. The sinner spends his life chasing the passing pleasures of sin he experiences for a moment but it is only an illusion. It will never satisfy.

By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin, Hebrews 11:24,25

Sadness came into the world through Adam and Eve’s sin and happiness was no longer there. It is only through being restored to a love relationship with God will we love righteousness and be genuinely happy. The Lord truly takes away our sin and our guilt and fills our heart with joy and happiness so much so that we want to joyfully sing of the Lord, His great love and His righteousness.