A Life with Love Does Not Manipulate

Since Adam named the serpent then he knew the character of the serpent. The serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field. His name “serpent” means “to enchant”. The devil chose to disguise himself in the serpent because the serpent was enchanting and beautiful.

Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! Genesis 3:1-4

When we are not trusting the Lord and His love for us then we want to be in control, thinking that we know better than the Lord and can not really trust Him with what is most important to us. We feel the need to “take matters into our own hands” to accomplish what we think would be best for us. Manipulation is not of the Lord and is neither loving nor respectful of another. It is our sinful nature that teaches us to manipulate and it can begin at an early age. A man may seek to manipulate through charm, money, power, words or actions. A man may also seek to manipulate a female through trying to make her feel sorry for him. A female should run from a man who is a manipulator just as a man should avoid a female who manipulates. Females can also manipulate through being enchanting or charming, through their beauty, tears, words or actions. It is not godlike but is more like the devil. Someone who is a manipulator can not be trusted.

When you sit down to dine with a ruler,
Consider carefully what is before you,
And put a knife to your throat
If you are a man of great appetite.
Do not desire his delicacies,
For it is deceptive food. Proverbs 23:1-3

It is only one who trusts the Lord who can be trusted. Don’t listen to what a person says but look at the fruit of their life. If they are trusting the Lord then the fruit will reveal what the person is like.

For each tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they pick grapes from a briar bush. Luke 6:44

If you want a loving marriage and a godly life then you must learn to trust the Lord to give you what you need and to not manipulate to get what you want. He knows your needs and your desires. Learn to do what is right and to walk uprightly with Him and He will not withhold any good thing from you. Then and only then you will know that the partner that he gives to you in marriage is a gift from Him and not something that you brought about by your manipulation.

No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11b

This is important because in marriage, just as in life, storms will arise and you need to know without a doubt that it was the Lord that brought you two together. If you have that confidence then you will be able to weather the storms together and they will strengthen your marriage rather than weaken it. Trusting the Lord is doing it right. When you do life right then there will be peace, quietness and confidence. Manipulation is doing it wrong. When you do life wrong there will be doubt, stress and problems.

And the work of righteousness will be peace,
And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

Isaiah 32:17

A Life that Chooses Life

The Lord presented His people with a choice many years ago and we are presented also with the same choice. We can either choose life or choose death.

Deuteronomy 30:19 I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants,

If we do not intentionally choose life then we will be choosing death because that is our bent because of sin. Man chose death in the garden of Eden when He disobeyed God.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

That sinful choice was passed down through the generations to all of us. Left to ourselves we will choose sin, which means that we choose to be our own God and the end result is death.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Death is the curse that comes to us when we do not choose life. The only way that we can choose life is to choose Jesus, for He is life. When we choose Jesus it means that we choose to have Him be our God and rule our lives.

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.

When we choose life then we choose the life of Christ in us. We want Him to live through us in the power of the Holy Spirit. He always does what the Father desires and so if you choose Jesus Christ and life then you will do what He wills and that is, you will keep His commandments.

John 8:28 So Jesus said, “When you lift up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am He, and I do nothing on My own initiative, but I speak these things as the Father taught Me.

Jesus did nothing on His own initiative. When you choose life you choose Christ and a commitment to keep His commandments and do His will. The only way you can do this is to die to yourself and what you want so that you might live for Him and His will.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

It is a life of abiding in Him and obeying His commandments.

I John 3:24 The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him. We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

If you choose Him then He also will make known to others that you are His.

Matthew 2:49,50 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother and sister and mother.”

How well do you know His commandments? He wants our love and devotion and these qualities are manifested in our life through keeping His commandments.

John 14:15 If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

Life is in Jesus Christ and His words are life. Choose life and you will choose Jesus Christ and the evidence of that choice will be obedience to Him.

A Life with Love is Good

Love is good and one of the meanings of the word “good” in the Bible is “the highest form of love”. The Lord is good and He only seeks what is good for us and His actions towards us are the highest expressions of love. When He created man He created man to be loved and to love.

For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100:5

When God sent His only begotten Son into the world it was to show His love for the world. His redeeming love was sacrificial, costly, of great value and of the highest form. Jesus Christ died for us while we were sinners and had no love for Him or desire to trust and obey Him.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

The Lord is good and no evil dwells with Him. Evil is the opposite of love and those who do evil seek to hurt, harm and to cause grief.

For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness;
No evil dwells with You. Psalm 5:4

The devil is the one who is evil and seeks your harm and hurt. He is a liar and will do what he can to bring you grief. He lied to Eve.

The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Genesis 3:4,5

He said that she would not die but that her eyes would be opened and she would be like God. Every word was a lie. She would die and her actions brought about her own death. Satan always tries to minimize the consequences.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

He said that her eyes would be opened but rather she became blind and it was not until Jesus Christ came to open the eyes of the blind, that we could see spiritually.

Then the eyes of the blind will be opened Isaiah 35:5a

He said that she would be like God, but no, she became like the devil, for the devil did not do what was right in the sight of God and unrighteousness was found in him. The devil rebelled against God by doing what he wanted to do rather than what the Lord wanted him to do.

“You were blameless in your ways
From the day you were created
Until unrighteousness was found in you. Ezekiel 28:15

He said that she would know good and evil, but she no longer knew what was good but only what was evil. She no longer knew God’s love for her. The word “know” is to experience. She no longer experienced God’s love. The devil lied about God for God does not “experience” any evil and as long as Adam and Eve did what the Lord wanted them to do then they also would never “know” evil.

Your eyes are too pure to approve evil, And You can not look on wickedness Habakkuk 1:13

Eve exchanged the truth of God for a lie and the consequences of her actions brought death to her life and her relationship with Adam. The love that God had given them was no longer in the relationship as God was no longer present.

A Life with Love Has An Enemy

Love has an enemy that wants to destroy it and the people in the relationship where love is. God is love and there will only be true love where God is but there is one who hates God and he will do everything he can to destroy what the Lord establishes. The Lord is the One who brings people together in marriage.

And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

The Lord made the marriage to be between male and a female. He joins them together and they become one flesh. They are no longer two but one. The Lord’s blueprint for marriage is that the two people are to stay married until one of them dies and then the length of the marriage has been completed. However, the devil hates what God has ordained and he tries to destroy the love, the marriage and the people in the marriage. The enemy of love is not flesh and blood but it is spiritual forces.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:10-12

Struggles will come in any marriage but if you recognize who the real enemy is then you can stand firm together and resist him.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7

As both of you, or even if one of you, will recognize the real enemy then you can resist him and he will flee. You must be strong in the Lord and you resist him through submitting to God and in the strength of God’s might. He will have to flee.

But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes. II Corinthians 2:10,11

Do not be ignorant of his schemes. He wants one of you to harbor unforgiveness in your heart. We all wrong each other and hurt each other, and often we are not even aware of it. If you will learn to forgive quickly then that keeps Satan from getting a foothold in the marriage. The Bible says that he is “an accuser of the brethren”. He wants to accuse each one of you to the other. He might say, something like, “If he really loved you then he would not do that.” Not so, for a man often does not know what will hurt his wife. He has to learn to live with her in an understanding way. It does not come naturally.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way,

I peter 3:7

In the same way, a wife needs to learn how to respect her husband and love him the way that God designed. It is different from the way a wife “wants” to be loved. She will often love him the way she wants to be loved and the man will do the same. The older women are instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:4,5

This word love in “to love their husbands” means that they are to want their husbands. A man marries a woman because he thinks that she wants him. If she does not communicate this after marriage then he will feel rejected.

Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33

The devil will do what he can to get the man to not love his wife and to get the woman to not respect her husband. It takes two to destroy a relationship. A marriage is only dysfunctional if both people are not doing what the Lord called them to do. If only one person is disobedient then that person is dysfunctional and the obedience of their partner will help them become the wife or husband that the Lord called them to be.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. I Peter 3:1,2

Marriage relationships are work but when they work the way the Lord designed then they are the sweetest relationships on earth. They are a taste of heaven to the marriage partners and they are salt and light to the rest of the world. When each partner does the work that God has called them to do and be the spouse that God designed them to be then God is glorified.

I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do. John 17:4

A Life that Loves People

If you love God then you will love people because God loves people. He loves everyone. The Bible says that He is good to the evil and the good.

Matthew 5:45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

If you are His child then you will want to become like Him.

I John 3:1-3 See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

When we see Him we will be like Him but before that happens we are in the process of becoming like Him, which means we are being conformed into His likeness while on earth.

Romans 6:5 For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection,

His destiny for us is to become like Him.

Romans 8:29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

It is through knowing Him that we become conformed to His death, His resurrection and His life.

Philippians 3:10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;

Jesus is the Word and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. God uses His Word to transform us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ.

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.

His Word becomes alive in us and replaces our old though patterns and habits.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Just as Jesus did not come to do His own will but the will of the Father, in the same way, we also are not to do our will but the will of God.

John 6:38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me.

Just as Jesus prayed in the garden, “not My will but Thy will be done”, we too are to pray the same and desire that His will would be done.

Luke 22:42 saying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.”

Jesus also taught His disciples to pray in the same way, that His will would be done.

Matthew 6:10 Your kingdom come.
Your will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.

When you choose to follow Jesus. He will be your Lord and it is His will that becomes of utmost importance. This is what it means to die to yourself. You are dying to your will and living to do His will. This is truly the only way that you can love people. It is the way that Jesus loved you by going to the cross for you. He chose the will of the Father.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

God so loved you so that you too might love others with the same kind of love. What amazing love!

A Life that Loves God

Jesus makes it very clear who loves Him. Love is not a feeling but love is an action of obedience.

John 14:23 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our abode with him.

If you are doing what you want or what your flesh desires and then talk about God’s grace then you are not loving God but you are mocking Him. He died for you, not so that you could do what you want but so that you would be free from the passions of your flesh so that you would do as you ought and thereby love God by keeping His commandments.

Galatians 6:7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.

Do not let your heart deceive you. God is not mocked. Whatever a person sows that will he reap. If you sow to the flesh then you will reap destruction.

Galatians 6:8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Eternal life is knowing Jesus, the only true God, and when you come into the knowledge of Him, an intimate knowledge, then you want to love Him. If you just know about Him then there is not the passion to love Him back.

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

If we know Him then we realize that everything else is rubbish in view of the surpassing greatness of knowing Him.

Philippians 3:8 More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ,

Once you find Jesus then you will be willing to sell all that you have and count it loss that you might gain Him.

Matthew 13:44 The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Moses knew the Lord and the Lord showed Him His ways.

Psalm 103:7 He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.

Do you keep His Word? Do you know His ways? When we learn to obey His Word and walk in His ways then His love is perfected in us and we become more like Him. We also will know that we are in Him.

I John 2:5 but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him:

We also will have the assurance that He is in us and that His Spirit abides in us.

I John 3:24 The one who keeps His commandments abides in Him, and He in him.  We know by this that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us.

Romans 8:16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,

If He abides in us through His Spirit that He gives to us when we receive Him as our Lord and Savior then we are His child. If we are His child then we will want to keep His commandments. If we keep His commandments then we will abide in His love and will want to love Him more because of His great love for us.

A Life with Something Better than Life

The Lord is so amazing that He actually says that there is something better than life and he wants to give it to us. It is His lovingkindness. Therefore let us praise Him if we have experienced His lovingkindness.

Psalm 63:3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, My lips will praise You.

It is because of His lovingkindness that we can come into His presence. We need to bow in reverence to Him. There is something powerful about getting on your knees before the Lord. Many of the great men of God not only prayed but read the Word on their knees. They knew His love and bowed in reverence to Him.

Psalm 5:7 But as for me, by Your abundant lovingkindness I will enter Your house, At Your holy temple I will bow in reverence for You.

It is because of His great lovingkindness that we have salvation. For God so loved the world that He gave… Those who know Him know His lovingkindness and they are not asking why to the unanswered questions in life but are trusting in His great lovingkindness. We can’t always understand but we can always trust. It is because we trust in His lovingkindness that we can rejoice in His salvation.

Psalm 13:5 But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.

If we do trust in His lovingkindness then we will not be shaken.

Psalm 21:7 For the king trusts in the Lord, And through the lovingkindness of the Most High he will not be shaken.

If we trust in Him and follow Him then His lovingkindness will surround us and follow us.

Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, But he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him.

The Lord wants us to share with others His great lovingkindness towards us.

Psalm 40:10 I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation.

It can’t get any better than this, His lovingkindness reaches to the heavens.

Psalm 36:5-7 Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens,
Your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the mountains of God;
Your judgments are like a great deep.
O Lord, You preserve man and beast.
How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!
And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

We can take refuge in Him. We can trust Him with our sorrows and suffering. We can rejoice in Him and we can thank Him continually. He never changes and His lovingkindness is better than life. We can praise Him to Him and to others. He is amazing and His lovingkindness is unfathomable. Praise the Lord!

 

 

 

 

 

A Life that Loves

The greatest of all is love and love is the most powerful influence in the world. When we learn to love as Christ did then our world will be changed. We will be willing to die for each other even as Christ died for us.

Romans 5:7 For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.

This word good means the highest form of love. What the Lord is saying is that someone would not be willing to give up their life for someone who does the right thing  but perhaps maybe someone would die for a person who loved them. Love is the greatest power in the world. We will always want to be around those who love us.

I John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

We know that Jesus loves us. He died for us and He would do it again. He did not die for us because we were good but He died for us because He is good. Jesus Christ is the expression of the highest form of love.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

The only way we can love with the love of Christ is if we die to ourselves first.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

We must deny ourselves and follow Him. It is a daily dying to ourselves and it is the path to freedom and to Christlikeness.

Luke 9:23 And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.

This life is only possible through His Spirit and by His Spirit. He will only lead you where He has gone before you. There is no fear in a life of dying to self and following Him. In your dying you will begin living and in your death others will find life.

Romans 8:11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Jesus went before us. He was crushed for our iniquities and by His scourging we are healed. He died for us.

Isaiah 53:5 But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed.

The Lord is pleased when we offer ourselves to Him as a living sacrifice. How is it seen by others? It is seen through our love for others as we are poured out as an offering to Him.

Isaiah 53:10-12 But the Lord was pleased
To crush Him, putting Him to grief;
If He would render Himself as a guilt offering,
He will see His offspring,
He will prolong His days,
And the good pleasure of the Lord will prosper in His hand.
As a result of the anguish of His soul,
He will see it and be satisfied;
By His knowledge the Righteous One,
My Servant, will justify the many,
As He will bear their iniquities.
Therefore, I will allot Him a portion with the great,
And He will divide the booty with the strong;
Because He poured out Himself to death,
And was numbered with the transgressors;
Yet He Himself bore the sin of many,
And interceded for the transgressors.

You have the opportunity to be like Jesus when you intercede for those who have sinned against you. You may not be able to bear their sins as Jesus did on the cross but when you pray “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do”, you will be more like Him than you will ever know and others will see Jesus in you.

Luke 23:24 But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.

The greatest is love and those who love are the greatest.

I Corinthians 13:13 But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

 

A Life that Has a Home

All of us at different times in our lives will feel lonely. Sometimes we can be in the midst of people but other times we need a home. The Lord made us to have a home. Home is where the heart goes to even if the body has to wait for awhile. Home is where you are loved and the body, soul and spirit can rest.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely; He leads out the prisoners into prosperity, Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

The devil destroys the home and keeps his prisoners from being able to go home.

Isaiah 14:7 Who made the world like a wilderness And overthrew its cities, Who did not allow his prisoners to go home?

When Jesus walked and lived on earth He often sent people home after they were cleansed and forgiven.

Matthew 9:6,7  But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—then He said to the paralytic, “Get up, pick up your bed and go home.” And he got up and went home.

The Lord was not afraid to go into the homes of the sick, poor and needy.

Matthew 26:6 Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the leper,

After we become a Christian He wants us to home and share with our family what great things He has done.

Mark 5:19 …but He said to him, “Go home to your people and report to them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He had mercy on you.”

God is a restorer and still wants to restore. Those who serve Him will also want to restore for others the paths that lead home.

Isaiah 58:12 Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins; You will raise up the age-old foundations; And you will be called the repairer of the breach, The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.

Sometimes the Lord calls His children to serve Him and to leave their homes. He promises to provide other homes for them and many more than what they gave up for Him. The Lord is no man’s debtor. He always gives back more to us than what we give to Him.

Luke 18:28-30 Peter said, “Behold, we have left our own homes and followed You.” And He said to them, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times as much at this time and in the age to come, eternal life.”

Finally, He promises all of us who have followed Him and trusted Him in this life, a home in heaven.

John 14:2 In My Father’s house are many dwelling laces; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.

One day we will go and be with Him and what a glorious day that will be. Don’t get discouraged in this life. Remain faithful to Him for He is faithful to you if you have trusted Him. Yes, one day soon we will go home forever. The older you get the more your heart longs to go to that eternal home where you are loved and where you body, soul and spirit can rest forever. He has a place prepared for you.

 

 

 

A Life with Love Must Be Together

Love must be together. Love is relational and relationships must be nurtured to grow strong. The Lord brings a man and a woman together in marriage to be with each other. Your marriage will not grow strong and your love will not grow deeper unless there is an investment of your money and your time. These are the treasures that each of us have and when we invest our treasures in the marriage then our heart will be in it also. The love has become cold in many a marriage simply because the relationship was neglected and the two people have drifted apart. Each one invested their time, energy and money elsewhere and their heart was no longer with their spouse.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Luke 12:34

The more shared experiences then the stronger the marriage. Just as in the past when they used to make a rope strong, it was made of many many little strands of hemp. It was almost impossible to even cut through a thick rope. In the same way, the more shared experiences that married couples have then the stronger the bonds of marriage will be and when the enemy attacks then it will have a much harder time breaking the bonds of marriage. Love grows through sharing each others joys and sorrows.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 4:32-5:2

Your marriage and love will deepen as you each learn to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other just as Christ also has forgiven us. As you and your spouse learn to walk in love and to consider the other one more important than one’s ownself then your marriage will be a fragrant aroma to the Lord and to the world.

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; Hebrews 13:4a

As you can see, it says marriage bed, not marriage beds. A marriage will not grow strong if each of the married partners sleep in a different bed. Don’t do it. The Lord will help you if one of you has a hard time sleeping. There is something about sharing the same bed that keeps a couple together.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Matthew 19:6

Separation is opposite of being together. The devil tries first to separate a married couple and then divorce is often next. If someone counsels you to separate then they are not with God but against God. Let no man separate, means let no man counsel you to separate nor let another come in between you and your spouse. A woman should never confide in any other man other than her husband. She should not go to a pastor or a male counselor to get marriage help. A woman can almost always get a man’s sympathy and a man can not see through a woman’s tears, hurts, etc. and give her the truth of what she needs to hear.

The first to plead his case seems right,
Until another comes and examines him. Proverbs 18:17

A man can not see through a woman and a woman can not see through a man. In the same way, a man should not go to a woman for counsel. Older men can help a younger man to learn to love his wife and to understand her and older women are God’s provision to help women in learning how to love and respect their husband.