Category: gladness

A Life of a Peacemaker

The Lord wants all of us to be peacemakers. He even says that the peacemakers have a special blessing. A peacemaker is a characteristic of the children of God.

Matthew 5:9  Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

This word peacemaker means that the Lord uses this person to help bring others into peace with God. One of the aspects of the Christian life is that once we were His enemies but now we are at peace with God.

Romans 5:1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ

The fruit of being right with God is that He declares us righteous because of our faith in Jesus Christ and what He did for each one of us on the cross.

James 3:18 And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Sometimes the Lord will use you to plant the seed or even to water, but God is the one who causes the growth.

I Corinthians 3:6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth.

If you are wise then you will invest your life in eternal values. There are only two things that are eternal and they are the souls of men and the Word of God. These will last for all eternity. Are you reaching out in some way to see others come into His kingdom. The Lord has not called everyone to be evangelists but He has called us all to build His kingdom.

Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, And he who is wise wins souls.

The Lord wants us to do this so much that He promises us that if we will seek His kingdom and His righteousness then He will provide everything that we need for our life.

Matthew 6:25-33 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Are you anxious for your needs? The Lord cares for you more than the birds of the air or the flowers of the field. He does not want you to be anxious but He wants you to build His kingdom. He knows what will make you the happiest and that is living for something much bigger than yourself.

Luke 16:9 And I tell you, make friends for yourselves by means of worldly wealth so that when it fails, they may welcome you into eternal dwellings.

The Lord says that those who come to know Him through the money that you use to share the Gospel and build his kingdom, those very people will welcome you into heaven. He has given you seed to sow, where the fruit is righteousness. Maybe the saddest people in heaven will be those who have no friends to welcome them into heaven.

II Corinthians 9:10 Now He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness;

 

 

A Life of Joy

Generosity and joy go hand and hand. The Lord Himself said that it is more blessed to give than to receive. Giving gets your eyes off of yourself and your interests and needs and causes you to become aware of the needs of others around you. The ore yo give, the more your cup of joy will overflow.

Acts20:35 In everything I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

Giving gives you a heart for the Lord, for where your treasure is there will your heat be also. Your heart will follow your treasure. Time and money are two of your treasures that you can give away.

Matthew 6:21 for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

The generous person will be prosperous or successful.

Proverbs 11:25 The generous man will be prosperous,

Give to those who can not pay you back. The Lord says that even sinners give to those from whom they will receive something back. When you give to the needy of His people you are giving to the Lord.

Matthew 25:35-40  For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You something to drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

The person who gives to the rich will come to poverty. Give to a person in need and they will give you their heart.  When you meet the need of the needy then you are removing the obstacle in their life so that they can hear the Gospel. You are allowing them to see the love and truth of God so that they can hear the love and truth of the Lord.

Proverbs 22:16 He who oppresses the poor to make more for himself Or who gives to the rich, will only come to poverty.

Give to the poor and the Lord says that He Himself will pay you back. It is the only time in Scripture where the Lord says that He will become man’s debtor. His payment is in full and more. He remains no man’s debtor.

Proverbs 19:17 One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord,  And He will repay him for his good deed.

Give to those who have helped you spiritually.

Galatians 6:6 The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him.

Your cup of joy will overflow as you give to the Lord by giving to His people, the needy and to reach others for Christ.

Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

A Life with Right Choices

Your life is made up of the choices you make. If you make good choices then you will have a good life. If you make bad choices then you will have a difficult life. You make the choices and the choices make you. We all can look back and see very clearly the good and bad choices that we have made. However, your life is only lived once and many choices can not be undone. Only one life and if it is lived right then you will be blessed. How do we make good choices?

Matthew 19:16,17 And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

We can not make good decisions because we are not good. There is only One who is good and that is God Himself. Jesus Christ is the One and Only Son of God. He is fully God and fully man. He is the only One who can make good decisions for us because He is the Only One who is good.

Matthew 13:37 And He said, “The one who sows the good seed is the Son of Man,

The Lord is the only One who can sow good seed and make good decisions. He pursues man and calls man to Himself. The only good decision that we can make is to respond to Him and His love in calling us to follow Him. When we follow Him then He will lead us on the good path of life and and we will live forever in His goodness and His love. Choose Jesus Christ and you choose life. If you do not choose Jesus Christ then you are choosing to go your own way and to make your own decisions. The outcome of not choosing Jesus Christ is death, death to the soul and death to the body. You will make bad decisions because we all come into the world with a foolish heart. The definition of a fool is one who lives apart from God. If your decisions are not what He says in His Word then they will be foolish decisions and the result is much sorrow and anguish of soul.

John 3:3-7 Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Nicodemus *said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’

If you are still making your own decisions then you must ask yourself if you have been born again into God’s kingdom. Christianity is not a religion but it is a relationship with Jesus Christ Himself and we come into that relationship when we are born again. He becomes our Lord and our Savior. He becomes our Lord, which means that He is now the Ruler of our life and all decisions belong to Him. He becomes our Savior, which means that He saves us from ourselves and the many foolish decisions that we have already made, which is called sins. Sin means missing the mark and we have all missed the mark. There are many religious people who have not been born again. They know about God but they do not know Him personally.

Romans 10:8-10 But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart”—that is, the word of faith which we are preaching, that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

If you hear the Lord calling you then respond and believe in your heart. Confess to someone with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead. You will be saved. Jesus Christ is alive today in the hearts of all who have believed in Him and trusted Him with their hearts and lives.

John 10:4 When he puts forth all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.

When you belong to Him then He will lead you because He will go ahead of you and you will follow because you know His voice. He becomes not only your Lord and Savoir but your Good Shepherd.

John 19:7-15 So Jesus said to them again, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before Me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not hear them.I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep. I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.

Jesus Christ laid down His life for the sheep. Come to Him and choose Him. It is the only right choice that we can make. He calls us and when we respond to Him then He leads us. He will only lead you where He has gone and where it is good for you. You can trust Him completely. The life that He gives is good and abundant and will never end for just as He is eternal the life that He offers is eternal. Come to Him and live forever.

 

 

A Life of Eternal Security

We all have a need for eternal security. We can’t really live life abundantly unless we are eternally secure. How can we know for sure that no matter what happens if we die that we will spend eternity with the Lord?

John 1:29 The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!

This was the first time that Jesus was identified as the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world. If you notice the word sin is singular. The word is literally iniquity, which means that someone is their own god or lord. They want to run their own life and do not want anyone to tell them what to do. This was the original sin in the garden. Adam and Eve did not obey God but did what they wanted to do. They committed iniquity. All of us come into the world committing iniquity. Toddlers want to do it their way. We want to make our own decisions. We want to choose our destiny. This is the sin that we need to repent of…wanting to be our own lord rather than the One who rightfully belongs on the throne of our life and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 10:12,13 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Whoever calls upon the Lord Jesus Christ for Him to be their Lord will not only receive Him as their Lord but He will become their Savior.

Matthew 1:21 She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

When you become His child, then you become one of His people and He will save you from your sins. The word sins is plural because we commit many different sins that ensnare us and enslave us but He sets us free when we come to Him.

John 8:36 So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed.

He also gives us His Spirit as the surety for our eternal salvation and it when the Holy Spirit comes to live in us then He bears witness with our spirit that we are truly saved.

Romans 8:15,16 For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God,

The Lord says that we can know that we are His child and have eternal life, not hope or guess but know.

I John 5:13 These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.

 

 

A Life that is Successful

Everyone longs to be successful. We don’t want to fail in school, in relationships, on our job, at home or when and if we get married and have children. These next few promises are some of the most amazing promises in the Bible. It shows the heart of the Lord. He wants you to be successful in every area of your life. Incredible that we have a God who not only loves us perfectly but desires our best!

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

Some people may not believe this promise but don’t let someone else’s unbelief pull you down because this verse is very true. The Bible says that it is impossible for God to lie. However, He makes it very clear what you must do to be successful. You must meditate on God’s Word day and night to that you may be careful to follow it exactly as He says. Sometimes it may not make sense to you but do it anyway. Meditate means that you think about His Word. We meditate all of the time. Worry is meditating on your problems and the outcome. If you will replace those thoughts with His Word then you will receive insight that you never saw before and He will show you what to do to avoid failure and to succeed.

Psalm 1:1-3 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.

Again, this is amazing. The Lord says that if you will meditate on His Word day and night then your life will be fruitful, you will not wither up during the dry seasons of life and in whatever you do…you will prosper. We spend so much time trying to be successful in our own efforts and even reading books on how to be successful in different areas but IF we will only do this one thing then the Lord promises us success. This shows how much He longs for you to spend time with Him. Just like parents want to reward their children big when they do something really big in their eyes even more does the Lord want to reward you IF you will take His Word, meditate on it and then do what He says to do in His Word. However, one of the instructions for learning to meditate on His Word is that you must stop listening to the many voices in the world…voices of the wicked, scoffers and sinners. Do not walk with them nor stand with them not sit with them.

James 1:25 But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.

Again, in the New Testament our Lord repeats this truth. Blessing and success are closely related just as curses and failure. The Lord wants to bless you and He wants you to be successful. If you do not follow His instructions then you will experience curses and failure.

Hebrews 4:2 For indeed we have had good news preached to us, just as they also; but the word they heard did not profit them, because it was not united by faith in those who heard.

The only part of God’s Word that will profit you is what you believe enough to do. Begin by taking a verse and memorizing it and then thinking about every way that verse can apply to your life and then do it. After you have done this then take another verse. You will see as time goes on that your life is being transformed into a beautiful Christlike life.

A Life that Soars through Life

We can either trudge through life or we can soar like an eagle. If we walk through life then we will be like the duck and our view will be very narrow or we can fly like the eagle and see great things.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

When you wait for the Lord then you will gain new strength and mount up with wings like the eagle. You will not get tired or weary but will find new strength that only the Lord can give.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

When you wait for the Lord then your will find not only new strength but you will receive courage.

Isaiah 25:9 And it will be said in that day:
“Behold, this is our God;
We have waited for Him, and He will save us.
This is the Lord;
We have waited for Him;
We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.”

You will soar in life when you wait for the Lord. You will see His salvation and you will be glad and you will rejoice in Him.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you;
And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
Blessed are all those who wait for Him.

Those who learn to wait on the Lord will be blessed. The word blessed means to be made happy.

Lamentations 3:25,26 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

You will see the goodness of the Lord. Learn to wait patiently for His salvation and do not take matters into your own hands. He is fully aware of all situations. Wait for Him.

Philippians 3:20,21 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

Finally, we know that we can wait for Him if we belong to Him because our citizenship is in heaven and He will come again one day for those who are eagerly waiting for Him. We will be like Him. Wait for Him and let your hope be in Him.

I John 3:2,3 Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

 

 

 

 

A Life on the Path of Life

The path of life is smooth and gets brighter and brighter as you go on it. When you are not on the path of life you will be confused, walking in darkness and filled with doubts.

Proverbs 4:18,19 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,
That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.
The way of the wicked is like darkness;
They do not know over what they stumble.

If you belong to the Good Shepherd then He will lead in the paths of righteousness. He will lead you beside the still waters and cause you to lie down in green pastures. He will restore your soul when you are weary.

Psalm 23:1-3 The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

The path of the righteous is also the path of life and in its pathway there is no death. A person can be alive physically but dead spiritually and there soul also can die. Sin brings death to the soul. That death is the guilt, remorse and regret you feel when you know you have done wrong.

Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

He is on the path of life who heeds instruction. Listen to the Lord and do what He says. Go towards the light. Jesus Christ is the light. Follow Him and He will make known to you the path of life. Are you struggling with a decision and don’t know what to do? Ask the Lord to direct you on His path, which is the path of life and you will not regret it. You will know when you are on the path of life because the way will become clearer and clearer. If you are feeling confused then stop and do not go further. The Lord is not a God of confusion.

Proverbs 10:17 He is on the path of life who heeds instruction,
But he who ignores reproof goes astray.

The path of life leads upward for the wise. The wise are those who look to the Lord and walk in His ways. Get on the path of life and stay on it. It will keep you from hell on earth and hell below earth.

Proverbs 15:24 The path of life leads upward for the wise
That he may keep away from Sheol below.

 

A Life Filled with Much Joy

Joy is the expression of the happiness that is within and when one is filled with joy then they are energized and excited about life. Joy is the sweetness that comes from being in the presence of God and knowing that He is real. Joy comes from having prayers answered and seeing the Lord work on one’s behalf. Joy is amazing and when we have it there is nothing that can compare with the true joy that God gives to His children. The world can only offer cheap substitutes that try to mimic the true joy of the Lord but there is no comparison.

Nehemiah 8:10 Then he said to them, “Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

The joy of the Lord will strengthen you and will cause you to want to give to others in need. The joy of the Lord allows you to do far more than you would do on your own and in doing so your joy will only be increased. Your joy will become other’s joy.

Psalm 16:11 You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

When you walk and live in His presence then you will know the fullness of joy. Guard your relationship with the Lord and see that nothing quenches the Spirit in your life. Be quick to ask forgiveness so that you will be cleansed from your sin and can continue to walk with Him.

I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

He wants unbroken fellowship with you. Draw near to Him and the Lord will draw near to you.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Who is the one who will live in His presence? It is the one who keeps clean hands and a pure heart.

Psalm 24:3-6 Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
And who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood
And has not sworn deceitfully.
He shall receive a blessing from the Lord
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.
This is the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face—even Jacob.

Seek the Lord and His face continually. You will find that as you do this then your life will overflow with joy. Whatever little sin or pleasure there is that would quench His Spirit in your life is not worth the loss of His presence. Guard your heart with all diligence for from it flows the springs of life and you will find that these springs of life are ones filled with great joy.

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.

Then your soul will sing and out of your innermost being will flow the springs of joy because the Lord will be your joy and your joy will be in Him.

Psalm 87:7 Then those who sing as well as those who play the flutes shall say,
“All my springs of joy are in you.”

A Life that Is Filled with Happiness

The Lord designed for man to be happy. A life filled with happiness is one that has much joy and gladness, peace and contentment, prosperity and success, thankfulness and praise, faith and hope, and above all love. This is what the Lord desired for man to experience but man messed up by sinning by wanting to go his own way and do his own thing. As a result happiness left him and sorrow took its place. God came down to earth in the person of Jesus Christ to restore man to God’s design for him. If man will put himself back in God’s hands then not only will he be restored in a relationship with God but happiness will replace sorrow.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

The thief is the devil and he came to destroy. If we will listen to the Lord and tune out the devil’s lies then we will experience that abundant life that God designed. Our life will be filled with happiness. Our home will be filled with happiness when we live according to His plan. He came to bring love, joy, peace and many other manifestations of who He is.

Galatians 5:22,23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

When we receive Jesus Christ into our life the Spirit comes to live in us and He produces the happiness that becomes a part of of our lives. As we learn to live in the Spirit and walk in the Spirit then we will experience the fruit of the Spirit.

Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.

The devil uses our flesh to rob us of the joy, peace and love that God intended and wanted us to know. The fruit of the flesh is what will destroy your happiness, your life, your home and everything else that is precious to you.

Galatians 5:19-21 Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Are there any of these things in your life? Are you immoral and having a physical relationship with someone whom you are not married to? Do you look at impure things on the internet or are your thoughts continually impure from what you have seen or done in the past? Do you dress in such a way that brings attention to your body? What about idolatry? Do you desire anything more than the Lord Jesus Christ? He alone is God and He alone is worthy of our heart, devotion and worship. What about sorcery? Do you read the horoscope or seek guidance where the Lord said not to? What about enemies? Is there strife in your life? Jealousy also is like a poison and will destroy relationships. Do you ever have an outburst of anger? Love and anger can not reside in the same person. Disputes, dissensions and factions are the opposite of unity. Do you envy or can you sincerely rejoice in another person’s success? Drunkenness and carousing is another way of saying that a person is living for the weekend when they can have fun through partying etc. or even drinking and partying at sports events? If these describe you then your life will be filled with much sorrow for it is only a matter of time before you will reap what you sow.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows then that is what he will reap. If you walk in the flesh and carry out the desire of the flesh then your life will experience corruption and destruction. If you sow to the Spirit then you will from the Spirit experience life. The Lord came to show us the way to life. If you will follow His instructions then your life will overflow with much love, joy, peace, gladness, contentment, prosperity, success, thankfulness, praise, faith and hope.

A Married Life Filled with Love

There are things that destroy love and there are requirements of love that are essential to lasting love. One of the roots of true love is moral excellence. There must be trust and respect to have true love in a marriage and the prerequisite to love, trust and respect is moral excellence. If you want true love within the marriage then you need to have moral excellence before marriage. Moral excellence is not compromising morally. If someone has moral excellence before marriage then they will almost always have moral excellence after marriage. Immorality is taking something that is not yours to take. A man has no right to any physical affection that he would not have with his sister. Any kind of physical affection has meaning to a female. Until a man takes a woman to be his wife he is to treat her with the same respect that he would treat his sister or mother.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

A good measure of how to treat another one of the opposite sex is if this person married your best friend would there be any awkwardness. You do not know who you will marry so do not speculate or presume. Through presumption comes strife.

Proverbs 13:10a Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife,

A great marriage is when two people become one in every way. Marriage is the only way it is possible for two people to become one spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. When there is a violation of God’s ways then it prevents the oneness from happening and that leads to emptiness and frustration. Moral excellence is the requirement for oneness and love, trust and respect is what allows oneness to happen. Oneness spiritually can happen with anyone who is a Christian and so for there to be spiritual oneness in marriage both spouses must be Christians.

II Corinthians 6:14,15 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

Once there is the common faith in Christ then it is good for there to be attraction of a friendship. This is the oneness of soul. Again, no physical because that is a lack of moral excellence and once there is the physical then the soul aspect becomes secondary. The Lord chose Eve to first be a companion to Adam and a great marriage is great companionship and friendship. In a great marriage there is a great need for clear communication and this is developed through friendship. One of the best ways to see what a person is like is to see how they interact in a group of friends. When a man and a woman spend much time alone together, even on the friendship level, then at least one of them will become emotionally attached and the breaking of the friendship will be painful and especially if there has been any defrauding. Defrauding is communicating that there is more to the relationship than there really is. Defrauding is a lack of moral excellence.

I Thessalonians 4:3-8 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.

The third aspect of oneness in a great marriage is the oneness physically. You will be very glad if you wait. There is a peace, comfort, joy, security and great love for the couples who wait until marriage for the physical. It is so great that the Lord says that the man will outshine the sun when he comes out of his bedroom on his wedding night.

Psalm 19:1-5 The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world.
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;

A man loses as much as a woman if he compromises before his wedding night. He has made his wife feel guilty and when they are intimate after marriage it will be a reminder to her of her guilt. She will not trust him like she would if he had exercised self control before marriage. Before marriage she may have thought it was love but after marriage she will realize that it was lust. They both lose and will struggle for the oneness that God designed.