Category: Christian Dating

A Life with Love Needs to Be Steadfast

True love is steadfast and does not change. It is not dependent on the actions of others nor is it moody or fickle. The more steadfast a love is in a relationship then the more secure the relationship is. Relationships were designed by God to reflect Him. God does not change. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

God is love and He is the One who pursues us with His love. Our love for Him is a response to His love for us.

We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:19

God’s love never changes. He loved us from the beginning and wanted us to love Him from the beginning. It is man that chose not to love God. Even when man rejected God’s love, God did not stop pursuing man. In fact, He wanted a relationship with man so much so that He sacrificed His only begotten Son so that man could come back into that love relationship with Him. God broke down the barriers that separated man from God’s love.

And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, Colossians 1:21,22a

God pursued man because God loved man. God has pursued each one of us through Jesus Christ. He still pursues a relationship with us. His love does not change. His love is steadfast. It is His unchanging love that makes us feel secure so that we can respond to Him. When we respond to His love and our mind is steadfast in Him, trusting in Him always, then we will live in His love and peace.

The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

When we respond to His love and our heart is steadfast in Him, trusting in Him, then we will not fear hearing bad news. We will not be anxious.

He will not fear evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Psalm 112:7

In every love relationship there is a pursuer and a responder. In the love relationship between a man and a woman the man is the pursuer and the woman is the responder. The more the man’s love is pure and steadfast then the more the woman is free to respond. She will feel secure and will learn to trust the man. A man’s love for a woman can only be steadfast if he is secure in his relationship with the Lord and his heart is steadfast towards God. Just as we have to learn to trust the Lord and respond to Him so a woman needs to learn to trust a man and respond to the man that she will one day marry. For this reason, it is important that the female not initiate towards the young man who is pursuing her. When she does not hear from him then she is to learn to wait and trust. If he loves her then he will continue to pursue her. If his love is not a steadfast love then she needs to wait on the Lord for the Lord to work in the young man’s heart or to wait on the Lord for the man of God’s own choosing if he is not the one for her. She needs to learn to wait and respond and not to take matters into her own hands and initiate towards him or do anything else to try to get him to give her the attention she desires. The only way that she can do this is if her heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17,18

When the relationship between a man and a woman is done right then there is love and the relationship stays pure. The relationship is also filled with mercy and good fruits. It does not waver but is steadfast and it is filled with peace.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

The Lord loves us and love gives us a choice. We can choose Jesus Christ and choose to live according to His wisdom and understanding or we can scoff, which means we do not act on what God says. When we choose to follow Jesus Christ the outcome will be good and the gentleness of wisdom will be seen.

Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. James 3:13

When we scoff then we choose to pursue our own ambitions rather than pursue the Lord and His ways. The outcome of scoffers will be seen in the brokenness and pain in their relationships. When relationships are not done right then there is jealousy, disorder and every evil thing. There will come much grief to both the young man and the young woman. It destroys not only their lives but brings grief and destruction to those who are affected by their own selfish ambitions.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16

A Life that Does Not Give Away Intimacy

There is a saying, “If the milk is free why buy the cow?”. There are certain gifts that have been given to us and that a young lady should not give away except to the right person at the right time. She should not give away her body to men but it is to be saved for her husband alone and only should be given to him after he has taken her in marriage. Marriage is a man’s commitment to a young lady to love her, to cherish her, to protect her, to provide for her and ultimately to lay down his life for her. Many a man will make promises to get what they want and then once they have gotten their desires then they never fulfill their promises. Engagement is not marriage and the same rules for dating apply during the engagement period.

I Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition but it is a 100/100 relationship. Each one gives all of oneself to the other so that they might become one. However, what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to abstain from sexual relations before marriage and wrong to withhold from each other after marriage. There is a saying that girls that do “it” before marriage don’t want to do “it” after marriage so it is foolish for both to compromise God’s standard of morality. God is not mocked. He has His standards for our good and we are foolish not to abide by what He has said.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Moral excellence is the root of true love in a marriage and it is expressed through waiting until after the wedding to have a physical relationship. If two people are morally excellent in their standards then they will trust each other after they are married. If a man and woman compromise before marriage then the trust will not be there as it could have been had they waited.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

If you have compromised God’s moral standard then it is not too late to repent but there needs to be repentance and though that may be hard it is necessary. Repentance means that you are turning your back on your sin and turning to God. However, you must keep turning to the Lord so that you do not fall back into your old ways. You also must flee from temptation. Temptations are often much stronger if you have tasted of the pleasures of that particular sin. You do not miss what you have never known.

II Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

You can, by God’s grace, keep His standards of righteousness. God is faithful and will provide a way of escape to the one who calls on Him and puts their trust in Jesus Christ.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

 

A Life that Chooses Good Friends

You will become like your friends therefore the most important decisions that you make in life after choosing the Lord Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior is who will be your friends. Choose good friends and you life will be blessed. Choose bad friends and your life will be filled with grief. This is one of the most profound choices that you will make in life. The companions with whom you walk through life will influence your other decisions.

Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Choose only to be with wise men and run from fools. A fool is someone who lives as if there is no God. They may even say that they believe in God but if they are living as if there is no God then they are living like a fool. Run from them.

Psalms 14:1 The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”
They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds;
There is no one who does good.

All of us came into the world with a foolish heart. We must turn away from our foolish ways and turn to the Lord with all of our heart. Don’t look at what a person says but at what they do. It is by their deeds that people distinguish themselves.

Proverbs 20:11 It is by his deeds that a lad distinguishes himself
If his conduct is pure and right.

In the same way, the kind of friends that you attract will be the kind of people whom you are attracted to. Is your life pure and right? It is not only by their deeds that a person distinguishes himself but also by his type of speech.

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves purity of heart
And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

Choose only friends who desire a pure heart. Those who want their heart to be pure will be discerning about where their eyes go and what their ears hear. What goes into  the heart of a man is what comes out of him and what comes out through his mouth is what defiles him.

Mark 7:20 And He was saying, “That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man.

It is those who have a pure heart who will see Jesus.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Our greatest need in life is to see God for all that we do in life is a response to our view of God. If our view is right then our conduct will be upright. If our view of God is twisted then we will be crooked in our ways. If we choose friends who do not know God or do not see Him then they will lead us astray and we will forget our God.

I Corinthians 15:33 Do not let anyone fool you. Bad people can make those who want to live good become bad.

Choose good friends and choose to be a good friend to others. Friendship means speaking the truth in love.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

If your friends are good then they will point you to Jesus and help you stay on the right path. Sometimes they might tell you what you don’t want to hear but it is much better than to have friends who will always tell you what you “want” to hear. Our hearts are deceitful so we need others in our lives who will help us in our times of weakness and temptation. The temptations will pass and the blessings will follow if we are faithful.

Proverbs 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad,
So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

 

 

 

 

A Life that Stays In Love

Everyone wants to stay “in love” with the love of their life when they get married. You may not be married yet and are wondering why this would apply to you. It very much applies to any young lady who wants to and plans to get married. In fact, that is God’s will for most young ladies, but not all. However, what can you do now to help your marriage, if the Lord should choose to give you that gift?

Every older lady who is happily married knows the “secret” to staying in love. It should not be a secret but for whatever reason, not many know it or do it.

Your relationship with your husband will be an expression of your relationship with the Lord. You say you love the Lord? We know that if you are a Christian then you want to love God. A measure of how much you love the Lord is how much you love others.

I John 4:20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love  God, whom they have not seen.

Just as God loves because He is love, in the same way, the recipient of your love should not be the source of your love but God should be the source. He can and will love through you.

I John 4:7,8 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

The Lord loved you when you were unlovable and it changed your life.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

The Lord wants you to keep yourself in His love. In other words, to stay in love with Him.

Jude 1:21 keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.

The way you keep yourself in the love of Christ is to nurture the relationship and to not neglect it. Over and over again in the Bible the Lord reproves His people for neglecting their relationship with the Lord and slipping into a ritualistic pattern with Him. Most marriages fail because of neglect although nearly all begin with good intentions. Both people just get so busy and before they realize it their love for each other is lukewarm and then cold. Are you ever too busy to spend time with the Lord? Is your love just as fresh as when you first came into that relationship?

Matthew 23:23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

If you learn to be faithful in your relationship with the Lord then you will have gone a long way in cultivating an intimate marriage. If you learn to love, not based on what you will receive in return, but because the Lord has called you and enabled you to love then you will have learned the secret of staying “in love” with the one whom the Lord has called you to be one with here on earth.

If you are married: Just as the Lord wants you to delight yourself in Him and to want to be with Him, so too, if you are married, your husband wants you to want him. He married you because he thought that you did want him. Do you still delight in your husband just as when you were first married? Do you still get excited about seeing him? Just as God’s love changed your life, so too, your love and desire for your husband can motivate him to be the person that the Lord has designed him to be.

Titus 2:4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,

This word “love” in this verse in Titus means to “be a lover of their husband”, or “to want or delight in their husband”.

 

 

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called the single men to be the initiators in relationships with single women. Women are called to be responders. If she is interested in the young man and he is suitable for her then she learns to respond to him. The young lady is not the initiator. For this way of life to be for a young lady she must put her trust in the Lord. If she will learn to live in His presence and put her trust in Him then she will thrive in life. If she trusts in herself then she will be constantly frustrated and defeated.

Psalm 52:8 But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.

The Lord is the One who directs the hearts of all men.

Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.

If she does not trust the Lord then she will be tempted to initiate or manipulate concerning young men. Either of these options are not God’s way. If she initiates or manipulates and she gets what she wants then she will never know if it is what the Lord wanted for her. When the trials come in the relationship then she will be tempted to doubt and in her time of need she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought about the relationship.

Proverbs 7:7-15 And I saw among the naive,
And discerned among the youths
A young man lacking sense,
Passing through the street near her corner;
And he takes the way to her house,
In the twilight, in the evening,
In the middle of the night and in the darkness.
And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home;
She is now in the streets, now in the squares,
And lurks by every corner.
So she seizes him and kisses him
And with a brazen face she says to him:
“I was due to offer peace offerings;
Today I have paid my vows.
“Therefore I have come out to meet you,
To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you.

The immoral woman is an initiator and manipulator. Often she also will have a pretense of religion, of being a good girl. However, the Bible says that her way is death.

Proverbs 2:16-19 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.

It is when we are struggling and doubting that we are tempted to take things into our hands and “make it happen”. The attitude that nobody else is looking after you so you need to look after yourself is against God’s ways. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Old Testament came up with an idea to get a baby, rather than wait upon the Lord. It brought her much grief.

Genesis 16:3,4 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight.

In the same way, you will bring yourself grief also, if you take matters into your own hands. You may get what you “want” but will not want it in the end nor will it bring you any joy.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

When a young lady responds to a young man then it makes him feel like a king. If you make a man feel like a king then he will want you to be his queen. It is well worth it to wait for God’s man and for God’s timing. If a man sees a young lady as a queen he will treat her as such.

Psalm 52:9 I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it,
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.

In the end, if a young lady will trust in the Lord then she will give thanks to Him because she will know that He is the One who did it.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

 

A Life that Recognizes Mr. Right

A young lady will often wonder how she will know when she meets the one for her. There are three M’s in a young person’s life. They must go in a certain order. Master, mission and mate. For a young man they must go in that order but for a young lady she must choose who her master will be and then the mission and mate will go together. There is only One who is the Lord of lords and if she chooses the Lord Jesus Christ to be her Master then He will choose all of the other decisions for her and they will be the right decisions…so the man that she marries will be Mr. Right for her. His mission will become her mission so her mate and mission will go together.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

The word suitable in this verse means literally “corresponding to”. Cor means heart and respond means that she will first respond to His heart, which is his spirit and soul. Her spirit will respond to his spirit and her soul will respond to his soul. The physical is secondary and will happen in the marriage. The Lord made the female to be a responder and not an initiator in her relationship with a young man. She must learn how to respond to his heart. One of the ways that you will know that you have met the one for you is, “do you respond to his heart?” It is crucial that there is no physical relationship at this point because the physical deceives us and we can not see clearly. If you are a Christian, then he must have a heart for the Lord.

II Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Next, is he a committed Christian? You will want a committed Christian. Only a committed Christian can love with the love of Christ. Utmost importance to you will be if you are loved.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

Does your father approve of the young man? Your father is the one who gives you to the young man to cherish, provide and protect. A young lady is never on her own. She goes from the authority of her father to the authority of her husband. Just because something is legal in the laws of the land it does not make it right. In the Lord, you are under your father’s authority until you get married. What if your father is not a Christian? It does not matter. He is your father and the Lord has commanded you to honor him. What if you do not have a father? Then the Lord says He will be a father to the fatherless.

I Corinthians 7:38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

As you go in the direction of God’s will, it will become clearer and clearer.

Proverbs 4:18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

The young man may be the right one but it is not the right timing. If you have doubts about either then wait on the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

The Lord wants His peace to rule in your heart. He wants you to know His will. Seek Him and ask Him to give you wisdom.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Learn to pray about everything. You will need to do this in your marriage so the sooner you learn to pray about everything then the smoother your life will be.

Philippians 4:6,7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The peace of God will be with you when you learn to let your requests be made known to the Lord and the God of peace will be with you when you learn to focus on Jesus Christ, for He alone is true, worthy of honor, righteous, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8,9 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone once said that if you walk around with your eyes on the Lord then you will bump into the one for you. Keep your focus on Him. He can bring the two of you together.

 

 

 

A Life that is Transformed

As all of us grow older we understand the truth that our outer person is decaying. We may think that we can prolong it but our bodies will one day wear out. However, if our inner person has life, though we may die on the outside, the inside of us will be renewed and become stronger and be refreshed for it will never decay.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man  is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

If we follow the instructions the Lord has given to us then we will soar like an eagle on the inside and we will gain new strength. We will run and not get tired and we will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Our youth will be renewed like the eagle. A Christian is the only one whose youth is renewed though he grows older. It is our endless dissatisfaction in life and seeking after things that will never satisfy that saps us of our strength and makes us feel old before our time. Let the Lord satisfy your years with good things and let Him fulfill you.

Psalm 103:5 Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

As our inner person is being renewed it is also being transformed, or at least, it should be in the process of being changed. If you are a Christian then His blueprint for you is that you will become conformed to the image of Christ. He made us in His image and that is His design for each of us.

I John 3:2 Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

He conforms us into the image of Christ by transforming us through His Word. His blood washes our conscience clean and then He renews our mind so that we will act in accordance to His will.

Hebrews 9:14 how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

The Lord wants to transform you through His Word.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

However, if you neglect getting in His Word then He will often bring people alongside you who will share His Word with you. This is the Lord trying to speak to you. They are not as gentle as His Spirit but none the less, they are His instruments for your good.

I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

If, however, you still resist His Spirit then He will discipline you if you are His child. Now, the Lord says that discipline can be painful but it is for your good. It is because you were not obedient earlier to what He had shown you. The purpose of discipline is to bring you back to Him and get you back on track so that you can become like Him and experience His plan for your life.

Hebrews 12:11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

The Lord has a plan for your life but to fully experience that plan you must stay in His will and continually be transformed into the image of Christ. He speaks to us in three different ways. First of all, He wants to speak to you through His Spirit and His Word. If you do not listen then often He will speak to you through people. If you still do not listen then He will speak to you through circumstances. If you hate unnecessary pain then stay in His Word and when He speaks to you listen. This is one of the reasons why Jesus Christ kept saying when He was on earth, “He who has ears to hear, let Him hear”.

Acts 28:27 For the heart of this people has become dull,
And with their ears they scarcely hear,
And they have closed their eyes;
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
And hear with their ears,
And understand with their heart and return,
And I would heal them.”’

Do you need healing? Do you have areas that need changing? Let Him heal you so that you might be whole again. Let Him change you. His changes are lasting and they are not “turning over a new leaf” by trying harder. He makes you like Christ. Beloved, one day you will be like Him. Do not lose heart.

 

 

A Life that Lives Out Love

The Lord is perfect in all of his ways. He is so good to us because He always gives us a free choice. When we become a Christian we do not have to love Him. However, when we experience His unfathomable love for us why would we not want to love Him with all of our heart, soul and mind?

I John 4:11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

When we become a Christian the Lord sets us free. He does not set us free to do what we want but He sets us free to do as we ought. We can still become enslaved again or we can live in the freedom that He paid for with His blood.

Galatians 5:1 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

When we live according to the flesh then we become a slave again to sin.

Galatians 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

God’s grace is what enables us to live in obedience to Him and to remain free. God’s grace became available to us through the cross. Do not allow the free choices you have to turn the grace of God into licentiousness.

Jude 4 For certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace of our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Don’t allow your freedom or liberty in Christ, which is your freedom to choose, become a stumbling block because you want to indulge your flesh.

I Corinthians 8:9 But take care that this liberty of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak.

If you love someone with the love of Christ then you will be more concerned about their relationship with the Lord than your own pleasures and indulgences. If you love the Lord then you will love His children.

I John 3:16 We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

It is by our love for one another that the world will know that we are His disciples.

John 13:34.35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

 

 

A Married Life Overflowing with Love

Everyone who is married longs for there to be true love in the marriage. Love is the sweet fragrance of a great marriage and the if you have love in your marriage then it truly cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joys. Without love then life and marriage is much harder and eventually can become bitter or lifeless. Love softens the blows that life sometimes brings that are out of our control. Love is the oil in relationships and without it relationships are a grind that can wear us down. Most marriages begin with good intentions but many do not know how to live out the desires and dreams that were there at the beginning.

I John 4:7,8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is love and there is no love a part from God. We do not know love a part from the Lord and we can not love a part from the Lord Jesus Christ. There may be duty, obligation or even a selfish love a part from the Lord but there will never be an agape love which is an unselfish, unconditional love apart from Jesus Christ. God came to us through Jesus Christ to show us what true love is and how we can experience it and know it. You must have Christ in your life to love and to be loved. We are untrusting creatures and don’t even know how to receive or give love. When we come into an encounter with Jesus Christ and receive Him then we are loved just the way we are and we can learn to love others just the way they are.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God loves us. Christ died for us when we did not love Him and had turned our back on Him. Jesus Christ loves us just the way we are with an unconditional, agape love. We are complete in Him and do not need the approval of others. He will always have our back and will never turn His back on us. He will never leave us or forsake us, even when it feels as though all others have and we are alone.

Hebrews 13:4,5 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

We do not need to have the “boastful pride of man” nor do we need to fulfill the lusts of the flesh or the lusts of the eyes when we have Christ. He is our glory and He will never leave us. We do not have to ever be lonely again. Being lonely is not His will and He wants His people to have a home. He wants you to have a home.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Rebellion is simply wanting to go your own way. If you have gone your own way and you are lonely in your marriage then turn to the Lord with all of your heart. He will fill your loneliness and fill you with love for your marriage partner. He will teach you how to love His way.

Galatians 6:9,10 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

The word “good” means the “highest form of love”. The Lord will show you how to “do good” to your spouse. In due time you will reap if you do not grow weary. He will show you the opportunities to do good. The Lord will teach you.

A Life that is Gracious

A gracious life will receive honor. A gracious woman is a beautiful lady and a woman that lacks graciousness is displeasing to the senses.

Proverbs 11:16 A gracious woman attains honor,

A gracious lady knows how to speak in such a way that she gives grace to her hearers. The opposite is a woman who speaks or acts in such a way that people need grace to be around her and listen to her.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

A righteous person does not want to disgrace or shame someone but will seek to cover up their shame. Joseph was called a righteous man and he did not want to disgrace Mary when he thought that she had sinned.

Matthew 1:19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.

The opposite of a gracious lady is a woman who is a gossip. This is a lack of moral excellence and will destroy her friendships, her reputation and people will not trust her.

I Timothy 3:11 Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.

The Bible says to not associate with a gossip and certainly do not be a friend with one who talks about others and reveals their secrets.

Proverbs 20:19 He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip.

A gracious person is a joy to be around and it is a privilege and gift to have a gracious lady as a friend. Are you the kind of person that others seek as a friend? Do you seek wise ladies to be your friends?

Ecclesiastes 10:12 Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him;

Jesus was full of grace and it was evident in His words as well as His actions.

Luke 4:22 And all were speaking well of Him, and wondering at the gracious words which were falling from His lips; and they were saying, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”