Understanding that a Husband Wants to Be Wanted
When Adam saw Eve he was ecstatic. He wanted her and he wanted her to be his alone. When a man gets married to the girl he loves he thinks, “she is mine”. A man thinks that when a girl marries him that she wants him. It is devastating to a man to feel rejected. A man wants his wife to desire him and not just love him the way she wants to be loved. A wife longs to “feel” loved and the words “I love you” are important to her and in a similar way, the words “I want you” are what a husband longs to hear. Just as a wife does not just want to “hear” those words, “I love you” but she wants to “see” that love also, in the same way a husband wants to “see” that his wife wants him. He married his wife because he thought that she wanted him.
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4a
Understand How to Want Your Husband
Understand that what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to withhold the physical intimacy before marriage and a man needs for the woman that he loves to have a high standard morally before marriage. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for so it is good for his girlfriend/fiance to help keep the relationship where it needs to be. However, after marriage it is wrong for the wife to withhold physical intimacy from her husband. If he is sensitive to her then he will be patient when she is not feeling well and he also needs to restrain himself during her time of month. However, his desire is usually very much greater than her desire for the physical and he needs for her to want him and not reject his affections toward her. She will be much happier if she satisfies him when she is more agreeable and this will keep him fulfilled in the area of the physical. Most men are agreeable anytime so this is not hard for the wife to do. The Bible teaches that the older women are to teach the younger women to “love” their husbands. The word love in this verse in the original means that she is to be a “lover of her husband” or in other words, in the original it means that she is to want him and delight in him.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19
Understand that a husband needs physical intimacy and God’s provision for a man is his wife. You married your husband and he believed that you wanted him when you married him. He needs you. There is not another woman in the world that can do what you can do for your husband. It may be sex with another woman but it is meant to be so much more with a man’s wife. It is the cherry on top and icing on the cake, so to speak. It is becoming one with another and it is the fullest expression of love. When you satisfy your husband you will also diminish the temptation of the adulteress woman who has her eye on your husband. There are many women who are looking for the vulnerable man and you don’t want that man to be your husband. Let him have something to look forward to when he comes home and when you are together. You will find that as you fulfill your role as a wife that you will be blessed. When a man is satisfied and fulfilled by the woman he loves there is not anything that he will not do to make her happy. He loves her and her joy becomes his joy.
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5