#Family – Page 56 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love Has a Foundation

Love must have a foundation to stand strong against the storms that will assail against it. A loving relationship is like a house and it must be built upon the right foundation. The foundation must be immovable and unchangeable because people, relationships and circumstances change. If a marriage or friendship has the right foundation then it will grow stronger over time and become sweeter to those who abide in the relationship where love is strong.

For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:11

There is only one foundation that is true and sure and will stand the test of time and will not be moved. Jesus Christ is the only right foundation for every relationship that will endure through the storms of sickness and health, weakness and strength, prosperity and failure, and all the other trials that we pass through here on earth.

According to the grace of God which was given to me, like a wise master builder I laid a foundation, and another is building on it. But each man must be careful how he builds on it. I Corinthians 3:10

If you know Jesus Christ and have been born again then according to God’s grace the right foundation has been laid in your life. If you and your spouse are Christians then the right foundation has been laid in your life. However, you must be careful how you build upon it. Jesus Christ is the Word made flesh and His Word is the instruction of how to build upon the foundation.

And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

God’s Word is full of grace and truth and it is the blueprint for every strong relationship and for every strong marriage. You must use God’s Word, which is His instruction for building your relationships, your marriage and family.

Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49

Jesus Christ and His Word is the Rock on which to build a life, a marriage, a family, a friendship, a business relationship or any other relationship that we are in. If we call Him Lord then we must do what He says but we will also experience what He says and our relationships will be strong and stand firm when the storms blow and the floods come. The storms may come in the form of doubts or false accusations or lies or absence or sickness or losses. However, the relationship built on Jesus Christ will stand and not only that but just as a house is a refuge from the storm these relationships will also be a refuge and bring us comfort and love when we need it the most.

A Life with Love as A Commitment

Just as love is a choice and not a feeling, love is also a commitment to another person. Love chooses to commit oneself to another person. There are different levels of commitment for the different levels of love. The most intimate level of love is the marriage of a husband and wife. Marriage between a man and a woman is the only relationship where there is a oneness of spirit, soul and body.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22,23

The Lord is the One who gave Eve to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam so that they might be joined to the Lord in fellowship and relationship and be joined to each other in marriage. She was to be his companion, helpmate and lover. For the man to be joined to his wife the way that God designed he needs to leave his father and mother.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

A man’s loyalty can not be divided between his parents and his wife. His loyalty must be to his wife. He is still to honor his parents but he now “belongs” to his wife, which means that he is to “be longing to be with his wife”. He is not to allow his heart to be separated between his parents and his wife. He is to be completely committed to his wife…spiritually, emotionally and physically. He is not only to leave his parents physically but also emotionally.

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1

A husband is to love his wife as he loves himself. He is to nourish her and cherish her. He is to love her as his own body and he is to love her in an unconditional way. He will find that as he does this that she will trust and respect him. She will respond to him and will want him.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

Ephesians 5:28,29a

In God’s design the husband and wife experienced the most loving and sweetest relationship between humans. They were naked and not ashamed. Everyone longs to be accepted for exactly who they are without any pretenses. This is a gift that the Lord gives to a couple in a God centered marriage done God’s way.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Adam and Eve were able to experience this most intimate relationship with each other because they had an intimate relationship with the Lord. It is not until one is totally honest and “naked” before the Lord can they be totally honest with their spouse. When people have experienced the unconditional love of God then they are able to give that unconditional love to another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Unconditional love accepts and loves the other person just the way they are even with their faults, flaws and failures. God demonstrated His love towards us when we did not love Him, while we were still His enemies, by sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins and to take the punishment that we deserved.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God loves us perfectly and when a married couple experiences that perfect love then it casts out all fear and they are able to love each other the way they need to be loved. They can be naked and not ashamed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear

I John 4:18

A Life with Love that Is Patient

The Lord called Adam into a trustful and loving relationship and He wanted Adam to trust Him to meet his needs and to provide for Adam in His time. The Lord said that He would provide a helper suitable for Adam but it was not yet His timing. The Lord had something else for Adam to do before He brought along the one whom He had created for Adam.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:18-20

There are three M’s in a man’s life and they need to be in a certain order. A young man must first choose who his Master will be. He must decide if the Lord God will be his Master and if he will follow and obey Him. After choosing his Master then a young man needs to find his mission in life. The Lord promises that those who choose Him will hear His voice so that they can follow Him. He will lead the young man into the calling or mission that He has designed the young man to fulfill. Then the Lord will bring into his life a mate who will be that “helper suitable” for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21,22

It is best for the man to “be asleep” and allow the Lord to bring him a wife rather than for the man to go looking for a wife. The Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied” and if he allows his eyes to choose the “one” for him then she may not be the one that God has chosen and he will not be satisfied with her as time goes on.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

If a young man allows the Lord to choose the wife for him then he will not be disappointed. He will be exhilarated with her love.

Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19b

Adam was thrilled with Eve and expressed his excitement when Eve was given to him. In the original language, the way Adam expressed was “WOW”!!

The man said,“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life that Lives Above Circumstances

There is a promise in the Bible that is an amazing promise and it is one that says if you do a certain thing then you will ride on the heights of the earth. This means that you will live above the circumstances of every day life. However, as with many of His promises, there is a condition. What does the Lord require of you to live this incredible life?

Isaiah 58:13,14 “If because of the sabbath, you turn your foot
From doing your own pleasure on My holy day,
And call the sabbath a delight, the holy day of the Lord honorable,
And honor it, desisting from your own ways,
From seeking your own pleasure
And speaking your own word,
Then you will take delight in the Lord,
And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

The Lord established the Sabbath commandment at the beginning of creation when the Lord Himself rested on the seventh day of the week. Was He tired? No, the Bible says that the Lord God does not get tired.

Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.

The Lord was setting the pattern for work and for life by His example. He does not only teach us but He shows us how to live life. He gave us a day of rest because He is good. He did not make man for the Sabbath but the Sabbath for man.

Mark 2:27 Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

Often people will say that they wish they had a day where they did not have to do anything. He has given us a day every week to rest and become refreshed in our relationship with Him. It is not “family day” or a day that we can do things we want to do and because we enjoy them then it is not considered work. No, rather He makes it very clear that we are not to do our own pleasure or live life our way. We are not to seek our own pleasure or speak our own words but we are to honor Him by honoring His holy day. He says that if we do this then we will ride on the heights of the earth. Holy means that it is set a part for Him.

Revelation 1:10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day,

This is the Apostle John speaking. Since Jesus Christ rose again from the dead on Sunday, the first day of the week, Sunday became the Sabbath day for the Christians after the resurrection. Sunday became the day that was set a part from the other days of the week so that they might get together and worship the Lord and rest.

Deuteronomy 5:12-14 ‘Observe the sabbath day to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your ox or your donkey or any of your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you, so that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.

The Lord considered the setting aside one day a week and not doing any work so important that He made it one of the Ten commandments. You will find that if you will keep this commandment then the quality of your life will become much better and you will also “take delight in the Lord”, as He promises.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

One of the beautiful characteristics of the Lord is that He does not make you do anything. You don’t have to obey any of His commandments. However, because He is so incredibly good He promises a reward if we delight ourselves in Him. He will give us the desires of our heart.

A Life that Lives Above Circumstances

Isaiah 58:13,14 “If because of the sabbath, you turn your foot
From doing your own pleasure on My holy day,
And call the sabbath a delight, the holy day of the Lord honorable,
And honor it, desisting from your own ways,
From seeking your own pleasure
And speaking your own word,
Then you will take delight in the Lord,
And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.

Mark 2:27 Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.

Revelation 1:10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord’s day,

Deuteronomy 5:12-14 ‘Observe the sabbath day to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the Lord your God; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter or your male servant or your female servant or your ox or your donkey or any of your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you, so that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

A Life that is Not Anxious

Are you ever anxious and worried? Anxiety can debilitate a person. Worry robs us of peace, joy and love for others because when we are anxious we focus on our problems. Some of our anxiety is about things that have never happened and will never happen but we believe they might so we worry about them.

Philippians 4:6,7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Anxiety is a lack of faith. A lack of prayer is a lack of faith. The Lord says that if we will pray then we will not be anxious. Prayer is an expression of faith.

Hebrews 4:16 Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

If you will go to Him with your cares then then you will find mercy and grace to help in your time of need.

I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

He tells us to cast all of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. He cares for you and your burdens will become His burdens if you will give them to Him.

Psalms 138:8 The Lord will accomplish what concerns me; Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting; Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Isn’t this an amazing promise…that He will accomplish what concerns you. Are there things that concern you? Are you anxious about whether you will ever meet a young man who will truly love you? Are you anxious in your school work or you job? Do you have a sick loved one? There are so many things that concern us but if we will give them to Him then He will accomplish them for us.

A Life of Humility

If you want to be great then the Lord says you must be least. If you want to be exalted then He says that you must humble yourself. He knew that His disciples wanted to be great and wanted to be somebody. In our hearts we are the same. So, as they walked with the Lord Jesus He taught them a different way of life. A way that leads to life and to life abundantly.

Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, But humility goes before honor.

If we don’t live life God’s way then we will have sorrow and pain.

Proverbs 10:22 It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich, And He adds no sorrow to it.

Many people will get riches and honor but with it will come sorrow and destruction. Jesus Christ gives us the picture of what it means to have humility. We are to consider others more important than ourselves and to not merely look out for our own personal interests but also for the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-5 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,

Humility is the inward expression of total dependence on God and the outward expression of total obedience to Christ. Moses was called the most humble man on earth before Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, came to live and die and rise again from the dead. The phrase that characterized Moses’ life was he “did according to all that the Lord commanded him”.

Exodus 40:16 Thus Moses did; according to all that the Lord had commanded him, so he did.

Humility and obedience go together. Jesus was obedient to the point of death and then the Father highly exalted Him above every name that is named.

Philippians 2:8-11 Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Jesus is Lord of all. Every knee will bow before Him. You can either bow now voluntarily or you will bow against your will in hell because you did not bow willingly on earth.

I Peter 5:5,6 … all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,

Yes, He will life up those who clothe themselves with humility and obey Him during this life. He says that we will reign with Him when He comes in His glory. Don’t be foolish and think that you can wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow may not come but eternity will.

A Married Life Overflowing with Love

Everyone who is married longs for there to be true love in the marriage. Love is the sweet fragrance of a great marriage and the if you have love in your marriage then it truly cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joys. Without love then life and marriage is much harder and eventually can become bitter or lifeless. Love softens the blows that life sometimes brings that are out of our control. Love is the oil in relationships and without it relationships are a grind that can wear us down. Most marriages begin with good intentions but many do not know how to live out the desires and dreams that were there at the beginning.

I John 4:7,8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is love and there is no love a part from God. We do not know love a part from the Lord and we can not love a part from the Lord Jesus Christ. There may be duty, obligation or even a selfish love a part from the Lord but there will never be an agape love which is an unselfish, unconditional love apart from Jesus Christ. God came to us through Jesus Christ to show us what true love is and how we can experience it and know it. You must have Christ in your life to love and to be loved. We are untrusting creatures and don’t even know how to receive or give love. When we come into an encounter with Jesus Christ and receive Him then we are loved just the way we are and we can learn to love others just the way they are.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God loves us. Christ died for us when we did not love Him and had turned our back on Him. Jesus Christ loves us just the way we are with an unconditional, agape love. We are complete in Him and do not need the approval of others. He will always have our back and will never turn His back on us. He will never leave us or forsake us, even when it feels as though all others have and we are alone.

Hebrews 13:4,5 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

We do not need to have the “boastful pride of man” nor do we need to fulfill the lusts of the flesh or the lusts of the eyes when we have Christ. He is our glory and He will never leave us. We do not have to ever be lonely again. Being lonely is not His will and He wants His people to have a home. He wants you to have a home.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Rebellion is simply wanting to go your own way. If you have gone your own way and you are lonely in your marriage then turn to the Lord with all of your heart. He will fill your loneliness and fill you with love for your marriage partner. He will teach you how to love His way.

Galatians 6:9,10 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

The word “good” means the “highest form of love”. The Lord will show you how to “do good” to your spouse. In due time you will reap if you do not grow weary. He will show you the opportunities to do good. The Lord will teach you.

A Life that is Loving

There are three evidences that someone is a Christian. They are love for others, unity with Christians and holiness to God.

God is love and we love because He first loved us. To the degree that you can love others depends on the degree that you have experienced His love. He loves you intimately and unconditionally. His love is not based on how successful you are, how much you do for Him, how good you are, how bad you are or anything else about you. His love is all about Him. He loves everyone because He is love. The love of Christ for you cost Him His very life.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

The Lord came so that He might have a relationship with you. He wants you to belong to Him, which means, He wants you to “be longing” for Him. He longs to be gracious to you and to show His love to you and for you.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.

When Jesus came He gave a new commandment to His disciples and that is to love one another as He loved us.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

How did He love us? By laying down His life for us.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

He calls to you through creation. He seeks you through His Spirit and He died for you and expressed His love for you through His Son, Jesus Christ. When you come to know Him then you come to know His love.

I John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

True love for God requires the heart and soul. All of it. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions. The heart is your innermost being.

Deuteronomy 10:12 …what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,

By your love for others will people know if you are a Christian, for a Christian is one who has been born again as His child and has come into a personal knowledge of Him.

I John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

If nothing can separate us from His love then why are we so fearful to love others? Why are we afraid to go out of our comfort zone?

Romans 8:37-39 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Has the Lord prompted you to do something for someone else? Don’t wait. It is the Lord who wants to bless you and bless that person. If you close your heart to that person in need then you are closing your heart to Christ. Even though the Lord loves you, you may not see His love for you as long as your heart is closed.

I John 3:17 But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?

He was rich but became poor that we might become rich. He did this that we might not indulge ourselves in His blessings or to hold on to the blessings but rather that we might become poor that others might know the riches of Christ.

II Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.

If He cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, then how much more does He care for you. Do not have little faith? Live with abandonment to self and fully to Christ. He Himself said that He would never leave you or forsake you.

Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

Matthew 6:30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!