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A Life Understanding that Love is a Gift

God’s design for mankind is love. His plan for all people is that they are to know and live in God’s love and they are to love one another. Love is a gift to some one else. Love can not be earned through works. If one has to work to get something then it is not a gift. Love is a choice for the giver of love and love is a gift to the receiver of love. The receiver must choose to respond and receive the gift of love. Love can be accepted and it can be rejected. The one who loves must have the gift to be able to give it away. Love is a power for good towards another and there is only One who is the source of all power and all love and that is God. God is love. God created man for man to be loved and to love. God created and chose Adam and Eve to receive His gift of love. Love is relational. Adam and Eve rejected God’s gift of love and rejected their relationship with God. Love has boundaries and when Adam and Eve would not accept God’s boundaries then they no longer were able to live in God’s love for them as He designed. Life and love has boundaries for the good of all. Parents set boundaries for their children, if they love them. When we reject God’s boundaries then we reject His love and what is good for us and we choose grief. Grief brings sorrow, pain, sadness, depression and anger.

The foolishness of man ruins his way, And his heart rages against the Lord. Proverbs 19:3

Understand Life without Love

Only a fool would reject God’s love and yet the Bible says that because of Adam and Eve’s foolish decision to reject God that we all come into the world with a foolish heart. The Bible says that what a fool does is stupid. Every stupid decision that anyone ever makes is because they did not go to the Lord and seek His counsel. They acted on their own and did what they wanted to do. God never causes grief. We only bring it on ourselves. Drugs and therapy can not take away our grief, depression, anger, etc. It is not until we are changed from the inside will we ever be free of the things that cause destruction within us. Only God can change us on the inside. Only God can set us free.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. II Corinthians 5:17

All of us have messed up in life. There is not a single person that has done life right except for Jesus Christ. He did life right because He is God and He came to love us, to forgive us, to clean up our messes, to restore us and to live through us. He not only teaches us the right way to live so that we can live in His love and be happy but He actually comes and lives within us through the power of His Holy Spirit. He makes us a new person and the old things pass away. There is only one way to be restored to God’s love and that is through Jesus Christ. Each one of us must receive Jesus Christ into our life to be our Lord and Savior.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

A Life Understanding A Man Needs to Be Wanted

Understanding that a Husband Wants to Be Wanted

When Adam saw Eve he was ecstatic. He wanted her and he wanted her to be his alone. When a man gets married to the girl he loves he thinks, “she is mine”.  A man thinks that when a girl marries him that she wants him. It is devastating to a man to feel rejected. A man wants his wife to desire him and not just love him the way she wants to be loved. A wife longs to “feel” loved and the words “I love you” are important to her and in a similar way, the words “I want you” are what a husband longs to hear. Just as a wife does not just want to “hear” those words, “I love you” but she wants to “see” that love also, in the same way a husband wants to “see” that his wife wants him. He married his wife because he thought that she wanted him.

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4a

Understand How to Want Your Husband

Understand that what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to withhold the physical intimacy before marriage and a man needs for the woman that he loves to have a high standard morally before marriage. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for so it is good for his girlfriend/fiance to help keep the relationship where it needs to be. However, after marriage it is wrong for the wife to withhold physical intimacy from her husband. If he is sensitive to her then he will be patient when she is not feeling well and he also needs to restrain himself during her time of month. However, his desire is usually very much greater than her desire for the physical and he needs for her to want him and not reject his affections toward her. She will be much happier if she satisfies him when she is more agreeable and this will keep him fulfilled in the area of the physical. Most men are agreeable anytime so this is not hard for the wife to do. The Bible teaches that the older women are to teach the younger women to “love” their husbands. The word love in this verse in the original means that she is to be a “lover of her husband” or in other words, in the original it means that she is to want him and delight in him.

Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19

Understand that a husband needs physical intimacy and God’s provision for a man is his wife. You married your husband and he believed that you wanted him when you married him. He needs you. There is not another woman in the world that can do what you can do for your husband. It may be sex with another woman but it is meant to be so much more with a man’s wife. It is the cherry on top and icing on the cake, so to speak. It is becoming one with another and it is the fullest expression of love. When you satisfy your husband you will also diminish the temptation of the adulteress woman who has her eye on your husband. There are many women who are looking for the vulnerable man and you don’t want that man to be your husband. Let him have something to look forward to when he comes home and when you are together. You will find that as you fulfill your role as a wife that you will be blessed. When a man is satisfied and fulfilled by the woman he loves there is not anything that he will not do to make her happy. He loves her and her joy becomes his joy.

The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5

A Life Understanding Brokenness and Healing

Understanding Brokenness

Broken relationships can cause people to be broken. The Lord never intended that there would ever be divorce, remarriage, unfaithfulness and everything else that causes pain to others and especially to children. When divorce happens it brings grief to the children. The Lord says that He hates divorce because of what it does to the children. However, unless there is healing then the chances are slim that a child of divorce will have a happy marriage. Wounds and hurts happen but there is hope and there can be healing. It is important that as much as possible each person goes into the marriage whole and healthy emotionally. The Lord can and wants to heal but a person with internal hurts must go to the Lord for healing. He understands each person better than anyone else and His name Jehovah-Rapha means “The God who Heals”. You will not hurt forever if you are healed. There will be a scar but you will know when you are healed because when something or someone touches where the wound was then you do not feel the pain, just as if you were to have a wound on your body that has healed. The scar is there but not the pain when the wound has healed. Not only does the Lord heal but He also can break the cycle of sin for the person who turns to Him. The Lord is real and His kindness is a realty to those who look to Him. Not only does He heal and break the cycle but He says that He can restore the “years that the locusts have eaten”. In other words, He can restore what was destroyed. Only God can do this and man can not fix our messes. When man tries to fix messes then he only makes a bigger mess. The Lord makes all things right and He alone teaches us the right way to live and love so that we do not bring on ourselves more pain or give to our children the same sort of grief as we experienced.

“Yield now and be at peace with Him;
Thereby good will come to you.
“Please receive instruction from His mouth
And establish His words in your heart.
“If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored;
If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent,
And place your gold in the dust,
And the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brooks,
Then the Almighty will be your gold
And choice silver to you.
“For then you will delight in the Almighty
And lift up your face to God.
“You will pray to Him, and He will hear you;
And you will pay your vows. Job 22:21-27

Understanding Healing and Restoration

Yahweh El Ashiyb is the name of God that means “The Lord My Restorer”. Healing and restoration comes when we yield ourselves completely to Him. Good will come to us when we receive His instruction and establish His Words in our heart. If we return to Him then we will be restored. Repentance means turning from our sinful ways and whatever our idols were and turning to the Lord. (We often turn to other means for comfort rather than the Lord and whereby they do not help us but they ensnare us…and they can also become idols that we do not want to let go.) He will become more precious to us than anything we desired before because we will see Him and we will experience His mercy and His peace. He will hear our prayers and we will keep our vows. You will know much joy and gladness when you are restored. Sorrow and sadness will leave along with regret and depression.He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3 Everyone needs healing at some time in their lives. When you give your life to the Lord and He becomes your Lord and Savior then you will never walk alone again. He will go with you through your sorrow. He will comfort you in your pain and He will restore you. There is no situation greater than the Lord. Nothing is too difficult for Him. He is able to save and He is able to restore. He loves you. And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 Your past does not have to define you nor does your present pain have to determine your future happiness.

A Life Understanding Great Relationships

Understanding What Characterizes Great Relationships

Your happiness in life is directly proportional to the greatness of your relationships. There are four things that will characterize your life when you are satisfied and in right relationships. These four things are joy, gladness, thanksgiving and you will want to express the happiness in your heart through song. We all have different degrees of intimacy in our relationships which is according to the relationship. However, love and peace are what will characterize all of your relationships when they are right.

Joy and gladness will be found in her,
Thanksgiving and sound of a melody. Isaiah 51:3b

Understanding the Levels of Great Relationships

Relationships are privileges that are given to us. The first relationship that needs to be in order is a person’s relationship with God. Jesus Christ came to bring love and peace on earth to those who are in a right relationship with God. Relationships go from greater to lesser degrees of intimacy. God knows everything and is intimately acquainted with all of our ways. Nothing is hidden from Him. The next relationship, if you are married, is your relationship with your spouse. Our spouse is the next level and our spouse knows us (or should know us) better than any other human. The greatest level of love and trust should be with a spouse and it is the only relationship where you are one in body, soul and spirit, or at least should be. The next level is family relationships. The next level is friendships. The next level is neighbors and acquaintances. The last level of relationships is enemies.When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7 If you want to have a great marriage and if you do, life is amazingly wonderful with a great marriage. A great marriage is a taste of heaven on earth and truly the most satisfying of all relationships. However, when you get married then you take all of your other relationships into that marriage. You take all of your baggage from past relationships with you. Oftentimes we do not realize all of the baggage that we have from our past relationships until it starts to make itself known in our marriage. The best thing you can do to have a great marriage is to be restored, if possible, and healed from past relationships. Relationships are difficult because they can cause hurts. When we are young we do not choose who most of our relationships are with and have no control over the hurt that happens. However, we may not be able to control what happens to us but we can control our responses. It is not what happens to us but our response to what happens that determines the destruction in our lives. Being hurt from people can bring anger or bitterness. If we are not healed then the anger or bitterness will come out in our relationships with others. Jesus Christ is the Great Healer. If you will go to Him then He can and wants to heal you. Spiritually and emotionally healthy people have healthy relationships. Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled; Hebrews 12:14,15

A Life Understanding a Man’s Greatest Need

A man’s greatest need is to get rid of his guilt. We all come into the world innocent but the guilt quickly starts to build up because we all mess up. However, guilt makes a man’s life crooked and then that leads to more guilt. Guilt will torment the soul of a man and if he doesn’t get rid of his guilt then he will do stupid things to try to forget or escape from the guilt. Again, those things don’t work but just piles on more guilt. Guilt will destroy a man because when a man feels guilty then he will also believe other people are guilty, when they are not but his guilt is such a reality to him that it distorts his true sense of reality. Even more important, when a man is guilty then he starts to have a twisted view of God. This is why he needs to rid himself of his guilt because all of us respond to our view of God. If we believe that God is loving and cares about us then we will go to Him. If we believe that God is distant or “the old man upstairs” then we will not go to Him. We need God and God loves us, no matter how big of a mess we have gotten ourselves in. Man needs to always be able to go to God for help for He says that “He is a present help in time of trouble”.

The way of a guilty man is crooked, But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

Understanding the Provision for Man’s Greatest Need

The Lord says that if we will come to Him and confess our sin then He will cleanse our conscience and heart. It is just like in the old days of basketball, when a player would foul, then he would raise his hand, acknowledging that he fouled. Basically, that is what confession is, it is acknowledging that we have messed up and it is our fault. The greatest need of a man is to have a pure heart. When a man has a pure heart then he will see life clearly. He will also see God for who He really is and that is, that God is a loving and merciful God. He will also be able to love others with a pure heart and will not want to blame others.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

There is only One who can take away sin and guilt. The only One who can forgive is the One who paid for the sins of the world. He can cleanse the heart and make anyone pure no matter what they have done. However, the person who wants to be cleansed and forgiven must come to Jesus Christ and ask Him to forgive them. If he means it then he will turn from his sin to the Lord. Either we are going in the direction of our sin or we are going in the direction of the Lord.

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” John8:3-11

When a person repents (turns from his sin to the Lord) and confesses and has been forgiven then they are set free from the guilt and sin. Then a person can see the Lord for who He really is, that He is kind. Until a person is forgiven then they will see the Lord as twisted and will view others as twisted (and the troubles in life as everyone else’s fault). Many men who are unfaithful to their wives will accuse their wife of unfaithfulness because of their own guilt. Until a man is restored to a right relationship with God and has been forgiven and cleansed from their sin and guilt then do not get into a relationship with him. Your life will become tormented through him as he is a tormented man.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25,26

A Life that Understands How Love Can Not Be Found

Understand How Love Can Be Lost

A common mistake that is made concerning love is that people look for love in the wrong places. God’s design for love between a man and a woman is in marriage. Marriage protects the love and gives it satisfaction. When someone opens the gift of God’s love for marriage before the time then it will bring a moment of pleasure as if you were to open a Christmas gift before Christmas and wrap it back up for Christmas day. There would not be the anticipation as God designed nor the pleasure and satisfaction that is promised when done right. Love can only be found when done God’s way and when love is done God’s way it is very satisfying.Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

Understand What Happens When a Person Does Wrong

When a person does what is wrong then because of guilt he tries to close off a part of his soul to do the wrong and the very part of his soul that he closes off is the very part of him that allows him to experience the enjoyment and satisfaction of the pleasure. There will be a moment of pleasure but no lasting satisfaction so he is left feeling empty. There is a law of diminishing returns. He must do more and more to try to find the same pleasure and he must close off his conscience even more. He will find himself doing things that earlier his conscience would not have done. Men often do not realize that they are bringing destruction to themselves by their immorality and destroying their ability to love and have a satisfying relationship with a woman. When they close off their conscience to what they are doing then they close off their ability to find love. They start seeing women as objects to be used and since a person can not live with guilt they will often use alcohol or drugs to escape their guilt. After a while, if he continues then he will find himself among the walking dead. He will eat and breathe but his life will not have much meaning.

For the wages of sin is death, Romans 6:23a

Understand the destruction that will come to you with an immoral man. The same will happen to you if you are immoral. Your life will become empty and you will become bitter toward men. A girl will sometimes think that if she gives sex then she will find love but the very opposite happens. Love will not be found but rather disrespect and abuse. A man will not use and abuse a girl who is moral. If he won’t date you if you don’t sleep with him then do not date him nor have anything to do with him. He does not even have the capacity at this point to love.

For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life. Proverbs 2:18,19

A man who has been immoral with a woman must cry out to God for mercy and must turn to God with all of his heart. The Bible calls him naive and foolish for he thinks that he is getting something but in the end it will cost him his life. A woman who has been immoral must also cry out to God for help and mercy and turn from her way. The Lord will hear men and women who cry out to Him. He is the only hope for all have sinned and fallen short of God’s design. He is able to forgive, cleanse and bring healing and restoration.

A Life Understanding the Mystery of Love in a Man

The Bible says that one of the things that no one understands is the way of a man with a woman when he is “in love” with her. Men will often do things when they are in love with a woman, that they would not do in any other situation. The Bible says that when a man meets the woman for him that she will be his desire and the delight of his eyes. She will also be his pride and his crown when he wins her heart and hand in marriage. Love is a mystery and it is one of the most powerful influences on earth. Love is intoxicating and satisfying when it is done God’s way. Love sweetens the blows of disappointment, gives comfort, fills the emptiness of loneliness and brings joy to the journey in life. Love energizes and motivates to higher goals and all of mankind longs for love. Love is far more than sexual and when someone is in love then it invades their spirit, soul and body and reaches to the very core of a person. It is pleasant and there is nothing that compares to it. Love is worth more than anything money can buy and without love a person’s life is meaningless. The way of a man with a woman is a mystery and a man is never the same again once he is in love with a woman.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,
Four which I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,
And the way of a man with a maid. Proverbs 30:18,19

Understand the Gift of a Man’s Love

When a man marries a woman then he gives her his heart, soul and body. When a man truly loves a woman there is nothing good that he will withhold from her. He longs for a wife that he can trust and that will do him good all of the days of her life. A man wants a wife who will be faithful to him through good times and bad times. When he believes that he has found this woman then he will give his all to her. A man is usually much more nervous on his wedding day because he is much more aware of the cost of his commitment and he is willing to commit himself completely and totally to her. He is taking responsibility for her and is willing to sacrifice his life, if necessary for her. A woman, on the other hand, is receiving the gift of his love on her wedding day. She loves him but he loves her more. She is waiting to see if his commitment and love is true. She believes he loves her but she still wants to see it, feel it and hear it over and over again. For this reason, it is not enough for the woman to hear on her wedding day, “I love you” and not ever hear it again. She will never get tired of hearing it nor will she tire of any sincere attempts at love. He will learn to love her and wise is the wife who receives her husband’s love with much gratitude.

and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; I Timothy 4:4b

A husband needs to feel that his wife appreciates him. Being married and loving his wife is a new experience for him and he wants to do it right. You have been blessed when you get married and a man gives his heart to you. Cherish this gift and never take it for granted. You will not ceased to be blessed when you marry a man who loves you. He will want to change where he needs to change and he will mature in his love and in his character. He will be a good husband and a good father and you will be blessed all of the days of your life.

A Life that Understands the Three M’s in a Man’s Life

When God created man the Lord also gave man three M’s that needed to be fulfilled. These three M’s also need to be fulfilled in a certain order, if they are not fulfilled in the right order then frustration and depression can come to the man. First man must choose who His Master will be. Love always is a choice. Man must choose whether he will love the Lord God, and loving the Lord means that man will submit to God as Lord and Master of his life and obey His commandments. Having the Lord as his Master means that man will follow the Lord and live according to His ways. The Lord loves man perfectly and He will be not only his Lord but He will be His Savior (save him (be there for him) in this life and save him in the life to come). He will be his Shepherd and comfort and guide him to the end and be with him in death. He will protect him and provide for him, as man learns to call on the Lord. The Lord created Adam and as his Creator the rightful place in Adam’s life was that the Lord would be Adam’s Master.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Next, man must choose his mission in life. The Lord has given each man a job to do and man must find out what the Lord has for him. When a man chooses the Lord to be his Master then the Lord will direct his steps in choosing his mission. The Lord gave Adam the job of tending the Garden of Eden and naming the animals. It is best for the man to know his mission before his next M, which is, he must choose his mate. Not all women are suitable for every mission and it is best for the man to know where he is going before he asks another to follow him. God initiates toward man and man must choose to respond to the invitation to follow God and then man initiates toward a woman and she must decide if this is the man that she is to follow. The three M’s in a man’s life are Master, Mission and Mate.

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:19-22

Understand that a girl must choose who her Master will be and trust Him to choose what her mission will be and who her mate will be. For a female, her mission will be, to be a helpmate to her husband. This does not mean that she can’t have a job or a career but it is best for her to see what the mission of her future husband will be and see if their paths will go together. However, after she is married then she must give to the Lord all of her plans and allow the Lord to direct her through her husband. When she gets married, her husband becomes her head and he is the head of their home, so her plans must be in accordance with what he wants her to do. Many marriages fail because the two people go in different directions and their lives drift apart. Two people in a marriage must walk together and be united. If you can not give up your career and your dreams to marry a man then don’t marry him. You don’t have to get married. You can not serve two masters, for you will love the one and hate the other, and a home can not have two heads. One of the frustrations for married women who work is the conflict of pleasing their boss and their husband. You will eventually have to choose. Maybe your husband will want you to work and will understand your work situation but you don’t know. It is best to give your expectations to the Lord, and let the Lord give back to you what His will is for you, rather than cling to what you desire and end up frustrated and resentful. Being a wife and a mother is one of the highest callings in life and a woman who puts her heart into it and who does it well will have a very fulfilling life and great joy.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, Ephesians 5:22,23a

A woman changes as she goes through life. When she is young she might think that she might want a career and travel and see the world. Nothing is wrong with that but sometimes she makes these plans “in case” no one comes along. When she meets the man she wants to marry then sometimes she still thinks about a particular career. As long as there are no conflicts after they get married and her husband is totally for it, then it is no problem for her to work. However, the Lord made women to have children and to make a home for her family. A mother’s heart is with her children. A female changes after she gets married and then she changes again after she has children. She is not aware of how strong the mother instinct is until she looks at her newborn baby. Most mothers will die for their children. Her heart is no longer in her job as it was before. Life becomes different and it helps to be aware of the changes that will come with motherhood.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

How blessed and happy is the husband and how blessed and happy are the children who have a wife and mother who fears the Lord and loves her family. How blessed is the nation which has godly women for wives and mothers. A woman who fears the Lord will please the Lord, love and satisfy her husband and she will love and teach her children the right way to live. She will be that support for her husband that he needs and she will set her children up for success. There will be great peace, great joy and much love in that home.

A Life that Knows the Good Life

Everyone wants to live a good life, that is, a life that is pleasant, enjoyable, peaceful, meaningful and fulfilling. The good life is a sweet and satisfying life and it is a life that makes one excited about living. One who has a good life looks forward to each day and when night comes their sleep is sweet. Each day builds on the ones beforehand and when the end comes they have few regrets and much gratitude. Their life was sweet and not bitter and full and not empty or futile. The one who lived a good life has also learned that such a life is not only possible but is available to any who desires it. The good life is not dependent on wealth, beauty or charm but only on the person who seeks it.

Who is the man who desires life
And loves length of days that he may see good? Psalm 34:12

Many years ago there was a rich young ruler who came and asked the question as to how to have life. This man had known wealth and had access to many of the pleasures of life. He probably could have had a beautiful wife and whatever else his heart desired. However, he was most fortunate to have come to the realization that none of those “things” give life. Often, those who have never known wealth or beauty will think that “if only I had these then I would really know what it means to live a good life”. So, this man was blessed to have realized as a young man that these “things” are only temporal and will never satisfy.

And someone came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” Then he said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?” Matthew 19: 16-20

This young man came to Jesus asking about eternal life but, as is often the case, he was asking one question but wanted another question answered. There was not any “good thing” that the young man could do to obtain eternal life. Eternal life is a gift that God gives to those who believe in Jesus Christ, that is, those who believe in Him not merely as a teacher, but believe in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

The young man desired a good life in this present life and so that is the question that Jesus answered. Jesus knew what Scripture said about anyone who desired life and so He explained the answer that was given when the question was asked in the Psalms.

Who is the man who desires life
And loves length of days that he may see good? Psalm 34:12

Keep your tongue from evil
And your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34: 13,14

Do you want to live a long good life? The Lord says that if you do, then you must keep your tongue from evil. The Lord gave His commandments to show men and women how to live a good life. Jesus was explaining to the young man what it means to keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. He said, “You shall not bear false witness”. This means that we are not to lie. There is no “good” that can justify “evil” and telling lies is deceitful and evil. If a person can keep their tongue from evil then they will save themselves much grief and pain in life. Often what people regret most are the words that they have spoken. Every wrong that people have ever done is because they have believed a lie. If you respond to a lie then your response will be wrong every time. If you sow lies then you will be deceived and believe lies.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6: 7

Jesus also explains what it means to depart from evil. When the other commandments mentioned are not kept then evil has been done to another and these are “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal;”. The Bible says that if you hate someone then you have committed murder in your heart. If you lust after a woman then you have committed adultery in your heart. Nearly all of these commands deal with stealing, for if you murder then you have taken someone else’s life. If you have sex outside of marriage then you have committed adultery and stolen something that is not yours. If you have cheated or gotten anything dishonestly then you have stolen. Each of these commands is doing evil towards someone else. However, at the end of the day, you have not only done evil but you have robbed yourself of life. Evil will only destroy a person if they do it.

To do good involves keeping the other two commandments Jesus mentions and that is to “Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The Lord places so much importance on honoring your father and mother that He offers a promise with it and says that if you will keep that commandment then you will live a long life. Many a life has been shortened because a son or daughter did not honor their parents. If you find yourself saying to yourself, “This is not what my mother or father would want me to do” then don’t do it.

Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Ephesians 6: 2,3

The last requirement of living a good life is to seek peace and pursue it. The Bible says that when a person’s ways are pleasing to the Lord that He makes even His enemies be at peace with him.

When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord,
He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. Proverbs 16:7

When a person lives according to God’s ways then they will be doing what is right towards others. Another word for doing what is right is righteousness. Righteousness will work for us and will bring peace with others and it will also give you quietness and confidence.

And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever. Isaiah 32:17

These laws still stand today because they are good and right. However, all of these laws that the Lord has mentioned in this conversation with the rich young man only have to do with his relationship with others. There is no mention of the first commandments that have to do with a person’s relationship with God. It is impossible to know a good life apart from the only One who is good and that is God Himself. Jesus Christ kept all of the commandments. When a person comes into a relationship with God then the Lord comes and lives within that one through His Holy Spirit (the Helper) and will help the one keep His commandments.

Jesus came that we might have life and have it abundantly. He is the only One who can satisfy the deepest longings of our souls. He invites all who desires life to come to Him. He will only do good towards you and He will do good towards others through you as you learn to live according to His ways. The verses that precede the ones about the person who desires life are an invitation to come to Him and taste of His goodness. When you see that the Lord is good and taste of His goodness then you will be blessed. He will teach you His ways and you will not lack any good thing.

O taste and see that the Lord is good;
How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!
O fear the Lord, you His saints;
For to those who fear Him there is no want.
The young lions do lack and suffer hunger;
But they who seek the Lord shall not be in want of any good thing.
Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Psalm 34:8-11

Who is the man who desires life
And loves length of days that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
And your lips from speaking deceit.
Depart from evil and do good;
Seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:12-14

A Life that Understands the Three M’s in a Man’s Life

When God created man the Lord also gave man three M’s that needed to be fulfilled. These three M’s also need to be fulfilled in a certain order, if they are not fulfilled in the right order then frustration and depression can come to the man. First man must choose who His Master will be. Love always is a choice. Man must choose whether he will love the Lord God, and loving the Lord means that man will submit to God as Lord and Master of his life and obey His commandments. Having the Lord as his Master means that man will follow the Lord and live according to His ways. The Lord loves man perfectly and He will be not only his Lord but He will be His Savior (save him (be there for him) in this life and save him in the life to come). He will be his Shepherd and comfort and guide him to the end and be with him in death. He will protect him and provide for him, as man learns to call on the Lord. The Lord created Adam and as his Creator the rightful place in Adam’s life was that the Lord would be Adam’s Master.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Next, man must choose his mission in life. The Lord has given each man a job to do and man must find out what the Lord has for him. When a man chooses the Lord to be his Master then the Lord will direct his steps in choosing his mission. The Lord gave Adam the job of tending the Garden of Eden and naming the animals. It is best for the man to know his mission before his next M, which is, he must choose his mate. Not all women are suitable for every mission and it is best for the man to know where he is going before he asks another to follow him. God initiates toward man and man must choose to respond to the invitation to follow God and then man initiates toward a woman and she must decide if this is the man that she is to follow. The three M’s in a man’s life are Master, Mission and Mate.

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:19-22

Understand that a girl must choose who her Master will be and trust Him to choose what her mission will be and who her mate will be. For a female, her mission will be, to be a helpmate to her husband. This does not mean that she can’t have a job or a career but it is best for her to see what the mission of her future husband will be and see if their paths will go together. However, after she is married then she must give to the Lord all of her plans and allow the Lord to direct her through her husband. When she gets married, her husband becomes her head and he is the head of their home, so her plans must be in accordance with what he wants her to do. Many marriages fail because the two people go in different directions and their lives drift apart. Two people in a marriage must walk together and be united. If you can not give up your career and your dreams to marry a man then don’t marry him. You don’t have to get married. You can not serve two masters, for you will love the one and hate the other, and a home can not have two heads. One of the frustrations for married women who work is the conflict of pleasing their boss and their husband. You will eventually have to choose. Maybe your husband will want you to work and will understand your work situation but you don’t know. It is best to give your expectations to the Lord, and let the Lord give back to you what His will is for you, rather than cling to what you desire and end up frustrated and resentful. Being a wife and a mother is one of the highest callings in life and a woman who puts her heart into it and who does it well will have a very fulfilling life and great joy.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, Ephesians 5:22,23a

A woman changes as she goes through life. When she is young she might think that she might want a career and travel and see the world. Nothing is wrong with that but sometimes she makes these plans “in case” no one comes along. When she meets the man she wants to marry then sometimes she still thinks about a particular career. As long as there are no conflicts after they get married and her husband is totally for it, then it is no problem for her to work. However, the Lord made women to have children and to make a home for her family. A mother’s heart is with her children. A female changes after she gets married and then she changes again after she has children. She is not aware of how strong the mother instinct is until she looks at her newborn baby. Most mothers will die for their children. Her heart is no longer in her job as it was before. Life becomes different and it helps to be aware of the changes that will come with motherhood.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

How blessed and happy is the husband and how blessed and happy are the children who have a wife and mother who fears the Lord and loves her family. How blessed is the nation which has godly women for wives and mothers. A woman who fears the Lord will please the Lord, love and satisfy her husband and she will love and teach her children the right way to live. She will be that support for her husband that he needs and she will set her children up for success. There will be great peace, great joy and much love in that home.