A Life with Love as A Commitment

Just as love is a choice and not a feeling, love is also a commitment to another person. Love chooses to commit oneself to another person. There are different levels of commitment for the different levels of love. The most intimate level of love is the marriage of a husband and wife. Marriage between a man and a woman is the only relationship where there is a oneness of spirit, soul and body.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22,23

The Lord is the One who gave Eve to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam so that they might be joined to the Lord in fellowship and relationship and be joined to each other in marriage. She was to be his companion, helpmate and lover. For the man to be joined to his wife the way that God designed he needs to leave his father and mother.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

A man’s loyalty can not be divided between his parents and his wife. His loyalty must be to his wife. He is still to honor his parents but he now “belongs” to his wife, which means that he is to “be longing to be with his wife”. He is not to allow his heart to be separated between his parents and his wife. He is to be completely committed to his wife…spiritually, emotionally and physically. He is not only to leave his parents physically but also emotionally.

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1

A husband is to love his wife as he loves himself. He is to nourish her and cherish her. He is to love her as his own body and he is to love her in an unconditional way. He will find that as he does this that she will trust and respect him. She will respond to him and will want him.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

Ephesians 5:28,29a

In God’s design the husband and wife experienced the most loving and sweetest relationship between humans. They were naked and not ashamed. Everyone longs to be accepted for exactly who they are without any pretenses. This is a gift that the Lord gives to a couple in a God centered marriage done God’s way.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Adam and Eve were able to experience this most intimate relationship with each other because they had an intimate relationship with the Lord. It is not until one is totally honest and “naked” before the Lord can they be totally honest with their spouse. When people have experienced the unconditional love of God then they are able to give that unconditional love to another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Unconditional love accepts and loves the other person just the way they are even with their faults, flaws and failures. God demonstrated His love towards us when we did not love Him, while we were still His enemies, by sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins and to take the punishment that we deserved.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God loves us perfectly and when a married couple experiences that perfect love then it casts out all fear and they are able to love each other the way they need to be loved. They can be naked and not ashamed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear

I John 4:18

A Life of a Mature Young Woman

How do you know when young men or young women are mature? What is God’s picture of maturity? When a young person is mature then they are ready for responsibility and with responsibility comes privileges.

Psalm 144:12 Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, and our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace;

Young men need to learn to work and be productive and are not considered mature men until they can produce as a grown up plant and not have to be dependent on others. In the same way young ladies must learn to stand alone as corner pillars and not have to lean on other people to help them have convictions and keep them out of trouble. The corner pillars are what support the building. When a young lady is mature she will be a support to others but she herself will not have to lean on others.

Jeremiah 15:19 …”Before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman. They for their part may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them.”

As you stand before Him and do His work by restoring the image of God by sharing Christ’s love with others, then you will become His spokesman. They may look to you but you must look to the Lord. This is the picture of a mature young lady…one who looks to the Lord and is able to stand alone.

I Timothy 3:15 …the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.”

Not only will you be mature but you will also be ready for marriage if the Lord should choose that for you, for the wife is to be a picture of the church, which is the pillar and support of the truth.

 

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life that Stands Strong

Building your life is like building a house. If it is done right then it will stand when the storms come. However, it is too late to build your life during the storms, it must be done during the sunshiney days. You will be secure and will not be fearful if you build it with the right foundation and the right materials.

Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

The wise woman builds her life on the Word of God so she will be ready when the storms come. She will gain wisdom through the trials to strengthen her life so that she will not  be anxious or depressed over the outcome. Neither will she be boastful for she understands that there is a Master Builder who has a design and a plan and He does not make mistakes.

I Corinthians 3:11 “For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”
Jesus Christ is the only foundation for any life that stands strong. Everything else will ultimately fail. A life must be built upon His Word, for He and His Word are equal.

Luke 6:47-49 “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and act on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; an the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

If you will do exactly as the Master Builder and One who made you has instructed you, then your life will be firmly rooted and will stand strong when the storms come. You will not panic because you acted wisely. He will build your house through you.

Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it…”

 

A Life with Love as A Gift

Love is not a right but it is a gift that God gives. God is love and when we experience His love then we want to love others. We love because He first loved us.

We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Adam and Eve could love each other because God loved them first. The Lord gave Eve to Adam to love her and cherish her and for her to respond to his love.

For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.

I Corinthians 11:8,9

The Lord God made man from the dust of the earth and man relates to the earth. He understands the world in a way that is unique to a man. He feels at home in the world. The Lord made man to work in the world.

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. Genesis 2:7

The Lord made woman from man and so she relates to people since she was not made from the dust but from Adam. She feels more at home with people than in the world. She needs people in her life. The Lord never tells a female to leave a relationship as He tells the man. The mother is not told to leave her son when he gets married but the son is to leave his mother and father. A daughter is not told to leave her parents when she gets married because she still needs her mother and especially when she and her husband start a family and have children.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:22-24

The wife is to live for her husband and please him, just as the church is to live to please Jesus Christ, who is the head of the church.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:23

The husband is to love his wife and give himself up for her even to the point of death, if necessary, as Jesus Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25

The Lord made the woman for the man and she will find her joy and fulfillment as she seeks to please him with all of her heart. The husband will discover that the more his wife experiences his love then the more she will respond to him and want to please him. He will also understand that his wife is a gift from the Lord and the Lord wants him to love her and enjoy life with her all the days of his life.

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9

A Life with Love is not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life that is Restored

The Lord is the only One who can restore us. He first restores us to a right relationship with Himself and then He starts restoring us and our relationships. He also restores us to a right relationship with His creation.

Psalm 23 1-3 The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

The Lord knows what we need for restoration. Notice that He says here that He makes you lie down in green pastures. Sometimes He will cause circumstances to allow us to be still and lie down in green pastures where it is safe and He will lead us beside quiet waters where we will find refreshment. He is your Shepherd and He says that you will not be in want, that means that He knows your needs and you will not be lacking anything that you need so don’t struggle against the circumstances but learn to accept what you can not change. He will guide you on your journey in paths of righteousness so that you will have peace, quietness and confidence, but first you need restoration. The sheep were never intended to stay in the same place.

Isaiah 32:17 And the work of righteousness will be peace, And the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.

As a Christian we can experience death to our soul when we sin and continue in a particular sin. Restoration comes when we confess our sins to Him, turn from our sins and He cleanses us.

I John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

After confession when we pray to Him we are drawing near to Him and we will experience His restoration. As He says in His Word, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

Psalm 80:3 O God, restore us And cause Your face to shine upon us, and we will be saved.

The Lord is the One who restores us in our fellowship with Him.

Psalm 19:7 The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;

The Word of God is what the Lord uses to restore our soul. It is the power of God. It cleanses us.

John 15:3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.

Prayer and the Word of God brings restoration to our soul. Go to an older woman who you know is in a right relationship with the Lord and ask her to pray for you also if you are still struggling with a particular sin.

James 5:15,16 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed.

If you are walking with the Lord and have been doing so on a consistent basis and growing in your relationship with Him then you have a responsibility to restore others in their relationship with the Lord if they are struggling with being enslaved to a sin.

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.

The Lord has given all of us responsibility to help each other. We need each other to help one another stay close to the Lord. We are not sinless when we become Christians but we do sin less.

James 5:19 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

 

A Life with Love as a Choice

The Lord gave Adam a job to do, which was to cultivate and keep the garden. Adam was the first gardener and he tended the food source for the animals and humans. There was no death or food chain in the world at this time since all of the animals ate green plants. Man and animals lived in harmony. There were also no weeds in the garden so that Adam’s work was a delight and it was good.

Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. Genesis 2:15

The Lord gave everything to man to enjoy but the Lord set a boundary for man and that was that he could eat from any tree but the “tree of the knowledge of good and evil”.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

There can not be love without a choice and the Lord was giving Adam the opportunity to choose Him and to live securely in His love. The Lord only had good plans for Adam and if Adam would choose the Lord and do exactly as the Lord instructed him then Adam would live in harmony with the Lord and everything around him. When God made Adam in His image then He made Adam upright but gave Adam the freedom of choice. Love is a choice. Adam had a choice whether to love God or not to love God. He could choose the Lord and follow His commands and instructions or Adam could go his own way.

Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices. Ecclesiastes 7:29

The Lord still gives people the choice to love Him or not to love Him. All through history men and women have been given that choice. Those who choose to love the Lord will also choose life and those who do not choose the Lord choose death.

I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. So choose life in order that you may live, you and your descendants, by loving the Lord your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; Deuteronomy 30:19,20a

We all must make the choice whether or not we will love the Lord and choose to follow Him or whether we will follow after our own desires and make our own choices.

If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve…but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

The Lord knows our needs today just as he knew Adam’s needs and desires. The Lord loves you and He wants you love Him and choose Him so that you may live.

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10b

The Lord loves you. If you want to love the Lord and choose Him then you need to call on Him so that you might have the good life that He intended for you from the beginning of the world.

that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord is Lord of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:9-13

Love is a choice. The Lord does not force anyone to love, follow and obey Him.

A Life with Love that Is Patient

The Lord called Adam into a trustful and loving relationship and He wanted Adam to trust Him to meet his needs and to provide for Adam in His time. The Lord said that He would provide a helper suitable for Adam but it was not yet His timing. The Lord had something else for Adam to do before He brought along the one whom He had created for Adam.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:18-20

There are three M’s in a man’s life and they need to be in a certain order. A young man must first choose who his Master will be. He must decide if the Lord God will be his Master and if he will follow and obey Him. After choosing his Master then a young man needs to find his mission in life. The Lord promises that those who choose Him will hear His voice so that they can follow Him. He will lead the young man into the calling or mission that He has designed the young man to fulfill. Then the Lord will bring into his life a mate who will be that “helper suitable” for him.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:21,22

It is best for the man to “be asleep” and allow the Lord to bring him a wife rather than for the man to go looking for a wife. The Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied” and if he allows his eyes to choose the “one” for him then she may not be the one that God has chosen and he will not be satisfied with her as time goes on.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

If a young man allows the Lord to choose the wife for him then he will not be disappointed. He will be exhilarated with her love.

Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19b

Adam was thrilled with Eve and expressed his excitement when Eve was given to him. In the original language, the way Adam expressed was “WOW”!!

The man said,“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30