Love in marriage – Page 33 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life with Love is not Prideful

After Adam sinned he hid himself because he was afraid. He was afraid of how the Lord would respond. No longer was Adam responding to the Lord in obedience but Adam initiated sin and now he was anticipating God’s response. He speculated and presumed that the Lord would not be pleased and may even be angry so he hid himself. The relationship now had gotten turned around because Adam had sinned and it was no longer according to God’s blueprint. God is the initiator and man is the responder. The One who is the leader and begins the relationship is the initiator.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” Genesis 1:26-28

God began the love relationship with man and God had a plan for Adam and Eve. He gave them a purpose in life and a calling. He gave the man and woman glory when He made them in the image of God. He crowned them with honor.

What is man that You take thought of him,
And the son of man that You care for him?
Yet You have made him a little lower than God,
And You crown him with glory and majesty!
You make him to rule over the works of Your hands;
You have put all things under his feet,
All sheep and oxen,
And also the beasts of the field,
The birds of the heavens and the fish of the sea,
Whatever passes through the paths of the seas. Psalm 8:4-8

Adam and Eve in their pride and foolishness disobeyed God and were no longer responding to His love for them. They thought they knew better than God. They became in a sense like God but since they were not God, they failed miserably and lost everything. They lost their fellowship with God and they lost their glory and honor. They lost the trust that God had in them. They lost their home. They lost the joy of being in God’s presence. They lost experiencing His love. They lost it all because of their pride.

When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

In a similar way, the man is the leader in his relationship with a woman. He is to be the initiator and she is to be the responder. The man is the one who initiates and begins the marriage. God has made the husband to be primarily responsible for the marriage.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

The woman is called to respond to and follow her husband. It is a woman’s pride that makes her want to control the relationship. It is not God’s blueprint for marriage. God made the man first and brought the woman to him. If you want your marriage to be successful then you must follow God’s plan and have your marriage be built after God’s blueprint.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:21-23

The marriage relationship is to be a picture of God’s relationship with man. If you are a wife then your relationship with your husband is a picture of your relationship with the Lord. If you are a husband then your relationship with your wife is a picture of how well you understand and know the Lord and His love and how obedient you are to Him.

This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:32,33

If a wife is and does as God has called her to be and do, then she will be the crown of her husband. She will receive glory and be crowned with honor.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, Proverbs 12:4a

If the husband does and is as God would have him then he will have that excellent wife whose worth far exceeds jewels. His heart will trust her and he will not lack gain. She will do him good all the days of her life.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:10-12

A Life with Love Has Great Joy

Love brings great joy to the one who loves and to the one who is loved. Joy is different than happiness. Happiness comes from what is happening but joy comes from something else. Joy comes from being in the presence of God.

You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

When Adam and Eve walked with God in the garden of Eden and knew His presence then they had fullness of joy. Fullness of joy meant that they were filled with joy. They walked the path of life with God and were filled with His joy. Not only did they know much joy, but they experienced His pleasures. They knew life, joy and pleasure. Everything that they had was given to them. When they sinned then they traded life for death, joy for despair and His pleasures for the counterfeit pleasure of the world, which is an illusion and leaves one feeling even more empty once the feeling of pleasure leaves.

for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10b

The joy of the Lord brings strength. Death, despair and emptiness drain a person of the strength that God designed for them. Without joy then relationships become a drudgery and a burden. Not only does the joy of the Lord lighten the load of everyday life and but His joy keeps the love in relationships. When we turn to the Lord and take refuge in Him then we can know His joy.

But let all who take refuge in You be glad, Let them ever sing for joy; And may You shelter them, That those who love Your name may exult in You. Psalm 5:11

Joy comes from His salvation. You know when someone has come into a personal relationship with the Lord because that person wants to sing for joy.

Sing for joy in the Lord, O you righteous ones; Praise is becoming to the upright. Psalm 33:1

They have experienced God’s love and presence and they can’t hid their joy. They want to share that joy with others.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation
And sustain me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners will be converted to You. Psalm 52:12,13

When God sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to restore man to his relationship with God then He also restored the joy of the Lord within man by giving His Holy Spirit to the one who has come to trust Him. Joy characterizes the child of God because he has once again come into God’s presence through Christ. Joy also characterizes the couple who have built their marriage according to God’s design.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, Galatians 5:22

The joy of the Lord goes in both directions. Adam and Eve brought the Lord great joy when they walked with Him and enjoyed that sweet fellowship. He loved them and He delighted in their communication and in His relationship.

But the prayer of the upright is His delight. Proverbs 15:8b

We, too, can still bring the Lord great delight when we walk with Him and pray to Him. We know His joy as we come into His presence. His joy is like a fragrant aroma in our relationships and also as we go through the day. When we walk with Him then we hate sin and anything that grieves His Spirit because we love Him know that the joy of being with Him is like no other joy and there is nothing to compare with Him.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. Ephesians 5:1,2

We also realize that sin destroys the joy in our marriage and relationships. Before Adam and Eve had sinned they had that sweet communion with the Lord and with each other because they obeyed Him and knew Him. If you are married then you will see that as you and your spouse each seek to please the Lord then your hearts will become knit together and your love will deepen for the Lord and for each other. You will not want to do anything to quench the Spirit for it will quench the love and joy that the Lord gives to those who live in His presence. As a married couple learns to live together in His presence then their love relationship with the Lord and each other will be a sweet aroma to everyone around them and the rest of the world.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; II Corinthians 2:14,15

A Life with Love Gives Freely

When the Lord created Adam, the Lord told Adam that he could eat freely of any tree in the garden.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; Genesis 2:16

Love gives freely. A gift is something that is not worked for and there is nothing that you can do to earn it, but you must receive it. The Lord offered His love and provision to Adam. Adam lacked nothing when he lived in the garden that the Lord had created. The Lord offers His love to all the descendants of Adam and Eve. He again gives us the freedom to choose Him, for that is love, and He paid the price to give His love and He freely gives His gift of love to anyone who will ask Him. For God so loved He gave.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. Ephesians 2:4-9

God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us gave. He gave His best and His only begotten beloved Son so that we might be able to know Him and walk with Him in a loving relationship. The cross is the greatest expression of love. Salvation is a free gift for any who come to the Lord in faith and that gift of salvation comes through the price that someone else paid.

Freely you received, freely give. Matthew 10:8b

If we only understood the Lord’s love for us then we would realize how much He delights in giving to us. He not only gave up His only Son, but He says that He will freely give us all things. Wow!

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

When we have the Spirit of the Lord living within us then we will know the things freely given to us by God.

Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God,

I Corinthians 2:12

In love, God destined us to be His children. It was His plan all along and when Adam and Eve sinned then love found a way to restore us to Him. When you love someone then you want the relationship to be restored. You are not thinking how you want justice fulfilled, no, you are thinking of how can we be reconciled again. God sent His only begotten Son to die for the world because He loved the world. God was willing to take the punishment that we deserve so that we could be restored to Him. He fulfilled and satisfied the need for justice but it was because He loved us. Justice was fulfilled when Adam and Eve died but for them to live again and be restored to God, the Lord had to take their death so that they would never have to die again. He gave to man His righteousness and took man’s unrighteousness. Man owed a debt he could not pay and so God paid a debt that He did not owe. The debt was paid on the cross.

In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. Ephesians 1:4b-8a

The Lord has freely bestowed on us His grace, which is in Christ Jesus. The Lord has given freely to us and He wants us to give freely to others in need. We were the needy that Jesus came to love and He has also put the needy amongst us so that we will freely give to them as He has given to us. Jesus wants us to love others as He has loved us. He came to earth to love, not to judge.

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:17

The Lord wants our faith to be a living faith. He wants us to live it out as He lived His faith out when He walked among men and women over two thousand years ago.

If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. James 2:15-17

The Lord wants us to live out the love that He has put in our hearts when we came to know Him. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. I John 3:16-18

Freely you received, freely give.

A Life with Love that Is Patient

The Lord called Adam into a trustful and loving relationship and He wanted Adam to trust Him to meet his needs and to provide for Adam in His time. The Lord said that He would provide a helper suitable for Adam but it was not yet His timing. The Lord had something else for Adam to do before He brought along the one whom He had created for Adam.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:18-20

There are three M’s in a man’s life and they need to be in a certain order. A young man must first choose who his Master will be. He must decide if the Lord God will be his Master and if he will follow and obey Him. After choosing his Master then a young man needs to find his mission in life. The Lord promises that those who choose Him will hear His voice so that they can follow Him. He will lead the young man into the calling or mission that He has designed the young man to fulfill. Then the Lord will bring into his life a mate who will be that “helper suitable” for him.

It is best for the man to “be asleep” and allow the Lord to bring him a wife rather than for the man to go looking for a wife. The Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied” and if he allows his eyes to choose the “one” for him then she may not be the one that God has chosen and he will not be satisfied with her as time goes on.

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:30

If a young man allows the Lord to choose the wife for him then he will not be disappointed. He will be exhilarated with her love.

Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:19b

Adam was thrilled with Eve and expressed his excitement when Eve was given to him. In the original language, the way Adam expressed was “WOW”!!

The man said,“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:23

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life that is Filled with Love

A life that is filled with love will overflow with love. The only way that one can live a life that is filed with love is to live in the love of the One who so loved that He gave us His Son. His love is perfect, sacrificial and eternal. He loves because He is love. When we love because of His love through us then we will have His love for others. It is unconditional. Our love is conditional, imperfect and selfish.

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

His first commandment is to come to Him. When we come to Him then we turn our back on our sin. We can not continue to sin and come to Him. All of us some time or other turned our back on Him and came to sin. Now, He is calling us to turn our back on our sin and come to Him. He will meet us the moment we turn to Him. Then He will let us know the next thing He wants us to do. It will be in accordance with His Word. It may be that He wants us to change friends, or ask forgiveness or forgive someone else.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

If you belong to Him then you will hear His voice. If you do not obey when you hear His voice then you may not hear it again. He waits until you obey. He wants obedience so that you can learn to live in His love. Is there something that you know that you should be doing and have not done it? You need to obey Him.

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness, and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

Moral excellence is obeying the Lord in what His Word says and keeping His commandments. That is the beginning of love. This is why many marriages fail…it is because the couple sowed seeds of a lack of moral excellence before they were married and then they reaped the bad fruit later. Nearly all marriages fail because of the seeds that were sown before marriage. It is the same in all of your relationships. There must be moral excellence for relationships to have the right foundation.

James 3:13-18Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

There are two kinds of wisdom just as there are two kinds of relationships. One of jealousy and selfish ambition or one that is pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering and without hypocrisy. How sweet life is when it is done God’s way.

A Life that is Filled with Love

I John 4:19 We love, because He first loved us.

How does one experience His love? It begins by receiving His love for you. How is this done? It is by keeping His commandments.

John 14:21 He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and disclose Myself to him.

John 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me;

II Peter 1:5-8 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in moral excellence, knowledge, and in knowledge, self-control, and in self-control, perseverance, and in perseverance, godliness, and in godliness, brotherly kindness, and in brotherly kindness, love.

James 3:13-18Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

A Life of a Beautiful Character

There is no real beauty without a beautiful character. Character is what defines who we are and all that we do is an outward expression of our inward character. When one has a beautiful character, which can only come through the person of Jesus Christ living within them, then their life is a manifestation of God on earth. He walks and He talks through men and women today and makes Himself known on earth. You must first have the Lord Jesus Christ within you to walk and talk with Him and for Christ to make Himself known to others.

Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.

He stands at the door of every person’s heart and asks to come in. Have you heard His voice but not asked Him to come in yet? Do not delay any longer. You do not know if you will have another chance. If you block out His voice then the day will come that you will no longer hear it.

Matthew 11:15 He who has ears to hear, let him hear.

If you are aware of the Lord and want to know Him then come now while your heart is still tender.

Jeremiah 6:10 To whom shall I speak and give warning
That they may hear?
Behold, their ears are closed
And they cannot listen.
Behold, the word of the Lord has become a reproach to them;
They have no delight in it.

All you need to do to walk with the Lord and let Him talk to you is that you must receive Him into your life. Ask Him to come in. He will come in and make you into the person and character that you long to be.

John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name,

He will begin a good work in you and He will complete it.

Philippians 1:6 For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

His thoughts toward you are only good and He has your best interests at heart. You can trust Him completely.

Isaiah 55:8,9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Forsake your thoughts and let Him fill your life with His thoughts. As a person thinks in their heart so they will become. Your thoughts originate in your heart.

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.

Character is formed first through thoughts and then through actions. Actions form habits and habits become character.

Isaiah 55:6,7 Seek the Lord while He may be found;
Call upon Him while He is near.
Let the wicked forsake his way
And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
And let him return to the Lord,
And He will have compassion on him,
And to our God,
For He will abundantly pardon.

When your character is formed then it will rule over your feelings and you will no longer be tossed here and there through the ups and downs of your emotions. Your emotions will submit to your will which has been surrendered to the One whose will for your life is good. You will experience the freedom of a disciplined life and will know what it means to be truly one of His disciples. Your life will exhibit the Lord in all that you do and you will be beautiful to the world as you will bring hope because the love of God has been poured out within your heart.

Romans 5:3-5 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

A Life with Joy made Full

The Lord was filled with great joy and He wanted His joy to be made full in those who followed Him. The Christian’s life is not one of duty and obligation but one of joy and love. We joyfully serve Him out of a loving relationship with Him.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

Jesus served and obeyed the Father out of love and devotion and experienced great joy. He wanted this joy to be in His disciples. His joy came from living in a loving relationship with the Father and abiding in His love.

John 15:9-11 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

How do we abide in His love so that our joy may be made full? We abide in His love by keeping His commandments. His commandment is that we love one another. His Words are an expression of His love for us and an instruction of how we are to love each other. When we keep His Words then our joy will be made full. His Word teaches us about His love and how to abide in His love and how to love others through keeping His commandments. When we abide in His Word then moment by moment He will show us His love and instruct us how to love others.

John 15:7-11 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

When you abide in Him and His Words abide in you then you will bear much fruit. The fruit is love and joy. These are the marks of the Christian and will be the proof that you belong to Him. The word “abide” means to live. You must live in His presence and His Words must live in you. Begin by putting His Words in your heart. Memorize and meditate on them. Apply what they are telling you to do. The Lord will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. He will counsel you with His eye on you.

Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go;
I will counsel you with My eye upon you.

As you abide in His love and live according to His commandments then your life will be filled with much joy.