A Life that Does Not Give Away Intimacy

There is a saying, “If the milk is free why buy the cow?”. There are certain gifts that have been given to us and that a young lady should not give away except to the right person at the right time. She should not give away her body to men but it is to be saved for her husband alone and only should be given to him after he has taken her in marriage. Marriage is a man’s commitment to a young lady to love her, to cherish her, to protect her, to provide for her and ultimately to lay down his life for her. Many a man will make promises to get what they want and then once they have gotten their desires then they never fulfill their promises. Engagement is not marriage and the same rules for dating apply during the engagement period.

I Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.

Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition but it is a 100/100 relationship. Each one gives all of oneself to the other so that they might become one. However, what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to abstain from sexual relations before marriage and wrong to withhold from each other after marriage. There is a saying that girls that do “it” before marriage don’t want to do “it” after marriage so it is foolish for both to compromise God’s standard of morality. God is not mocked. He has His standards for our good and we are foolish not to abide by what He has said.

Galatians 6:7,8 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.

Moral excellence is the root of true love in a marriage and it is expressed through waiting until after the wedding to have a physical relationship. If two people are morally excellent in their standards then they will trust each other after they are married. If a man and woman compromise before marriage then the trust will not be there as it could have been had they waited.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

If you have compromised God’s moral standard then it is not too late to repent but there needs to be repentance and though that may be hard it is necessary. Repentance means that you are turning your back on your sin and turning to God. However, you must keep turning to the Lord so that you do not fall back into your old ways. You also must flee from temptation. Temptations are often much stronger if you have tasted of the pleasures of that particular sin. You do not miss what you have never known.

II Timothy 2:22 Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

You can, by God’s grace, keep His standards of righteousness. God is faithful and will provide a way of escape to the one who calls on Him and puts their trust in Jesus Christ.

I Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

 

A Life with a Great Marriage

You may not be married but if you want to get married one day then now is the time to be preparing for a great marriage. You may wonder how to prepare for a great marriage and if it is God’s will for you to even get married. It is God’s will for most young ladies to get married and it is God’s will that you have a great marriage. A wise woman starts building a great marriage before she gets married.

Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house,
But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.

It is by God’s wisdom that a great marriage is built. He is the Master Builder and when we build according to His plans the marriage will be great and it will stand during the storms of life. Many marriages are not built on the right foundation and so when the storms come they do not stand but fall and great is the fall with much pain to all.

Proverbs 23:3,4 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

By wisdom a great marriage is built and by understanding it is established and by the knowledge of the Lord the days and years will be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Now is the time to prepare. Now is the time to get ready.

Proverbs 24:27 Prepare your work outside
And make it ready for yourself in the field;
Afterwards, then, build your house.

Since the Lord Jesus Christ is the Master Builder then He needs to be your Master or otherwise you will think that you know how to prepare and what to do. A great marriage begins with the Master Builder being your Master and you following His blueprint. His blueprint is His plans and instruction for life and marriage. Since he designed marriage then He knows what you need to do.

Luke 6:46-49 Why do you call Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and acts on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; and the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

You must first learn what an excellent wife is and then you will have a picture of what you want to become. First of all, an excellent wife is a woman of great worth. She will be one that a man is willing to work for so that he might receive her as his own wife. This is important because a man appreciates what he works for and will cherish the woman for whom he had to work.

Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.

An excellent wife is a crown of her husband. A man wears his crown proudly, in a good way and it gives him the courage and strength to rule and succeed in the world. A wife who would shame him is as rottenness in his bones. The marrow of the bone is where the blood is made in the body and healthy blood means a healthy man. A wife who shames her husband cause the life to go out of him.

Proverbs 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

This is also important because a man has a tendency to fight with his conscience so if a wife is her husband’s conscience then there will not be harmony in the home but much contention. He would rather not go home at all and if he does then he would rather live in the attic.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to live in a corner of the roof
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

Are you contentious and argumentative? Do you have to be right? Do you have to get the last word in? Do you feel like men “don’t get it”? Or do you believe that once you get married then you can change your husband? It would be better for you not to marry until these issues can be changed in your life. We can not change ourselves but the Lord can change us. He wants to change us and make us into that woman who fears the Lord and who will be a delight to our husbands. Life is sweet when it is done God’s way and this definitely applies to marriage. Begin now to prepare for a great marriage. It will be worth it. Your children will rise up and bless you and your husband also.

Proverbs 31:28-30 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

 

 

 

A Life that Is Loved

The Lord wants to bless us. He longs to be gracious to us and to show us His great love.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him.

He is a God of love and if we will only allow Him to love us with His perfect love then we will truly ride on the heights of the earth. That is, we will live above circumstances and soar in life because we will be secure in the arms of the only One who can love with a perfect love.

Deuteronomy 33:12 May the beloved of the Lord dwell in security by Him,
Who shields him all the day,
And he dwells between His shoulders.

Underneath you will be the everlasting arms and He will hold you up. He will drive out your enemies before you.

Deuteronomy 33:26,27 There is none like the God of Jeshurun,
Who rides the heavens to your help,
And through the skies in His majesty.
The eternal God is a dwelling place,
And underneath are the everlasting arms;
And He drove out the enemy from before you,
And said, ‘Destroy!’

He has enclosed you behind and before and laid His hand on you.

Psalm 139:5 You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.

There is nothing too difficult for Him. There is nothing that you have done that makes it too difficult for Him to love you. He loves you and wants you to belong to Him.

Jeremiah 32:17 Ah Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You,

As high as the heavens are above the earth so great will His love be for those who fear Him.

Psalm 103:11-14 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

Does He love those who do not fear Him? Yes, but they will not experience His love until they come to know Him. When you know Him then you fear Him, which means you stand in awe of Him and want to fall at His feet and worship Him, because you see that He is God. He invites all to come into a relationship with Him.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Put your name in the place of the word world. For God so loved you that He gave His only begotten Son so that you might be called by His name and belong to Him for all eternity. He invites you into His family, to become His child.

John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name,

If you have not yet received Him then do so today so that you might begin the incredible journey of experiencing His love and walking with Him. You will realize that there is none to compare with it.

 

 

 

A Life that Is Fruitful

The promise of a fruitful life is made to the person who abides in the Lord and God’s Word abides in Him. The word abide means to live in, therefore you are to live in God’s Word and He lives in you.

John 15:4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.

The Lord wants you to be fruitful and He knows that you must abide in Him if this is to happen. He, the vine produces the fruit and you, as the branch, bear the fruit.

John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

The sooner you realize the truth that you can do nothing apart from Him the happier you will be and the sooner you will quit striving on your own to bear fruit. The branches bear the fruit, they do not produce the fruit.

Galatians 5:22,23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

The fruit is produced through vine. You can not make yourself love someone. He will love through you if you abide in Him. In the same way, you can not produce joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness or self-control. He must do it.

John 15:7 My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples.

You will not have to prove that you are a Christian. Your fruit will bear witness that you are a Christian.

Matthew 7:16-18 You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit.

The Lord loves us and wants us to abide in his love. When we abide in His love and in His Word then our spirit will be nourished and His Spirit in us will produce the fruit that the world will see.

John 15:9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.

The way that we abide in his love is to keep his commandments. Is there anything that you know that He has commanded you to do and you have not done? There is nothing that is worth keeping us from his love.

John 15:10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love.

Jesus kept His Father’s commandments and abided in His Father’s love. He went before us and showed us how it was to be done.

John 15:12,13 This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus Himself chose us to bear fruit and instructed us on how it was to be accomplished.

John 15:16,17 You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you. This I command you, that you love one another.

Jesus spoke these words to His disciples and to us so that our joy may be made full just as His joy was made full.

John 15:11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.

 

 

 

A Life that Responds

The Lord has called the single men to be the initiators in relationships with single women. Women are called to be responders. If she is interested in the young man and he is suitable for her then she learns to respond to him. The young lady is not the initiator. For this way of life to be for a young lady she must put her trust in the Lord. If she will learn to live in His presence and put her trust in Him then she will thrive in life. If she trusts in herself then she will be constantly frustrated and defeated.

Psalm 52:8 But as for me, I am like a green olive tree in the house of God;
I trust in the lovingkindness of God forever and ever.

The Lord is the One who directs the hearts of all men.

Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes.

If she does not trust the Lord then she will be tempted to initiate or manipulate concerning young men. Either of these options are not God’s way. If she initiates or manipulates and she gets what she wants then she will never know if it is what the Lord wanted for her. When the trials come in the relationship then she will be tempted to doubt and in her time of need she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought about the relationship.

Proverbs 7:7-15 And I saw among the naive,
And discerned among the youths
A young man lacking sense,
Passing through the street near her corner;
And he takes the way to her house,
In the twilight, in the evening,
In the middle of the night and in the darkness.
And behold, a woman comes to meet him,
Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart.
She is boisterous and rebellious,
Her feet do not remain at home;
She is now in the streets, now in the squares,
And lurks by every corner.
So she seizes him and kisses him
And with a brazen face she says to him:
“I was due to offer peace offerings;
Today I have paid my vows.
“Therefore I have come out to meet you,
To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you.

The immoral woman is an initiator and manipulator. Often she also will have a pretense of religion, of being a good girl. However, the Bible says that her way is death.

Proverbs 2:16-19 To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words;
That leaves the companion of her youth
And forgets the covenant of her God;
For her house sinks down to death
And her tracks lead to the dead;
None who go to her return again,
Nor do they reach the paths of life.

It is when we are struggling and doubting that we are tempted to take things into our hands and “make it happen”. The attitude that nobody else is looking after you so you need to look after yourself is against God’s ways. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, in the Old Testament came up with an idea to get a baby, rather than wait upon the Lord. It brought her much grief.

Genesis 16:3,4 After Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Abram’s wife Sarai took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to her husband Abram as his wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her sight.

In the same way, you will bring yourself grief also, if you take matters into your own hands. You may get what you “want” but will not want it in the end nor will it bring you any joy.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

When a young lady responds to a young man then it makes him feel like a king. If you make a man feel like a king then he will want you to be his queen. It is well worth it to wait for God’s man and for God’s timing. If a man sees a young lady as a queen he will treat her as such.

Psalm 52:9 I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it,
And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.

In the end, if a young lady will trust in the Lord then she will give thanks to Him because she will know that He is the One who did it.

James 1:17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

 

A Life that Recognizes Mr. Right

A young lady will often wonder how she will know when she meets the one for her. There are three M’s in a young person’s life. They must go in a certain order. Master, mission and mate. For a young man they must go in that order but for a young lady she must choose who her master will be and then the mission and mate will go together. There is only One who is the Lord of lords and if she chooses the Lord Jesus Christ to be her Master then He will choose all of the other decisions for her and they will be the right decisions…so the man that she marries will be Mr. Right for her. His mission will become her mission so her mate and mission will go together.

Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

The word suitable in this verse means literally “corresponding to”. Cor means heart and respond means that she will first respond to His heart, which is his spirit and soul. Her spirit will respond to his spirit and her soul will respond to his soul. The physical is secondary and will happen in the marriage. The Lord made the female to be a responder and not an initiator in her relationship with a young man. She must learn how to respond to his heart. One of the ways that you will know that you have met the one for you is, “do you respond to his heart?” It is crucial that there is no physical relationship at this point because the physical deceives us and we can not see clearly. If you are a Christian, then he must have a heart for the Lord.

II Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Next, is he a committed Christian? You will want a committed Christian. Only a committed Christian can love with the love of Christ. Utmost importance to you will be if you are loved.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

Does your father approve of the young man? Your father is the one who gives you to the young man to cherish, provide and protect. A young lady is never on her own. She goes from the authority of her father to the authority of her husband. Just because something is legal in the laws of the land it does not make it right. In the Lord, you are under your father’s authority until you get married. What if your father is not a Christian? It does not matter. He is your father and the Lord has commanded you to honor him. What if you do not have a father? Then the Lord says He will be a father to the fatherless.

I Corinthians 7:38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

As you go in the direction of God’s will, it will become clearer and clearer.

Proverbs 4:18 But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day.

The young man may be the right one but it is not the right timing. If you have doubts about either then wait on the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

The Lord wants His peace to rule in your heart. He wants you to know His will. Seek Him and ask Him to give you wisdom.

James 1:5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Learn to pray about everything. You will need to do this in your marriage so the sooner you learn to pray about everything then the smoother your life will be.

Philippians 4:6,7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

The peace of God will be with you when you learn to let your requests be made known to the Lord and the God of peace will be with you when you learn to focus on Jesus Christ, for He alone is true, worthy of honor, righteous, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8,9 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone once said that if you walk around with your eyes on the Lord then you will bump into the one for you. Keep your focus on Him. He can bring the two of you together.

 

 

 

A Life that Keeps It’s First Love

The Lord wants us to stay “in love” with Him. If we are not careful we can leave our first love in our relationship with the Lord if we are a Christian. We can get so caught up with doing that we forget all about the loving. This is not only true in our relationship with the Lord but it is true in marriages.

Revelation 2:2-4 ‘I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary. But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.

Notice that it says they had left their first love, not that they had lost it. If you lose something then you do not know where it is but if you left something then you can go back to where you left it. They had left their first love and were very very busy doing “good things” but not focusing on the One who loved them in the first place.

Revelation 2:5 Therefore remember from where you have fallen, and repent and do the deeds you did at first; or else I am coming to you and will remove your lampstand out of its place—unless you repent.

Remember when you first became a Christian and you were so grateful to Him for saving you and so hungry to read His Word. He wants you to return to your love for Him and your love towards Him.

I Peter 2:2,3  like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

Have your quiet time with the Lord in the morning if you can. It does make a difference in your day.

Psalm 90:14 O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness, That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

Do you want to sing for joy and be glad all of your days? Again, an incredible promise. However, if this does not describe your life then why not try seeking Him in the morning first thing.

Psalm 92:2 To declare Your lovingkindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night,

By faith we declare His lovingkindness in the morning and if we do this on a regular basis then we will find ourselves declaring His faithfulness at the end of the day. He is faithful to His children and He is faithful to His fulfill His promises.

Psalm 143:8 Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning; For I trust in You;

Again, He wants us to see Him and hear Him. If only we will put our trust in Him.

I John 2:24 As for you, let that abide in you which you heard from the beginning. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, you also will abide in the Son and in the Father.

Never forget what you heard in the beginning of your Christian life which is that God loves you with an unconditional love, He has paid the price for your sin and wants to have a relationship with you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you. He has forgiven you of all of your sins, the sins you did in the past, the sins that you are doing now and the sins that you will do in the future…past, present and future sins. There is no time with God because He is eternal. Abide means to live. He wants you to live in His love. That is why He calls you “Beloved”, because He wants you to “be loved by Him”. If you have “left” your first love then return to Him that you may be restored.

A Life that is Transformed

As all of us grow older we understand the truth that our outer person is decaying. We may think that we can prolong it but our bodies will one day wear out. However, if our inner person has life, though we may die on the outside, the inside of us will be renewed and become stronger and be refreshed for it will never decay.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man  is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

If we follow the instructions the Lord has given to us then we will soar like an eagle on the inside and we will gain new strength. We will run and not get tired and we will walk and not become weary.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

Our youth will be renewed like the eagle. A Christian is the only one whose youth is renewed though he grows older. It is our endless dissatisfaction in life and seeking after things that will never satisfy that saps us of our strength and makes us feel old before our time. Let the Lord satisfy your years with good things and let Him fulfill you.

Psalm 103:5 Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

As our inner person is being renewed it is also being transformed, or at least, it should be in the process of being changed. If you are a Christian then His blueprint for you is that you will become conformed to the image of Christ. He made us in His image and that is His design for each of us.

I John 3:2 Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

He conforms us into the image of Christ by transforming us through His Word. His blood washes our conscience clean and then He renews our mind so that we will act in accordance to His will.

Hebrews 9:14 how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

The Lord wants to transform you through His Word.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

However, if you neglect getting in His Word then He will often bring people alongside you who will share His Word with you. This is the Lord trying to speak to you. They are not as gentle as His Spirit but none the less, they are His instruments for your good.

I Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

If, however, you still resist His Spirit then He will discipline you if you are His child. Now, the Lord says that discipline can be painful but it is for your good. It is because you were not obedient earlier to what He had shown you. The purpose of discipline is to bring you back to Him and get you back on track so that you can become like Him and experience His plan for your life.

Hebrews 12:11 All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

The Lord has a plan for your life but to fully experience that plan you must stay in His will and continually be transformed into the image of Christ. He speaks to us in three different ways. First of all, He wants to speak to you through His Spirit and His Word. If you do not listen then often He will speak to you through people. If you still do not listen then He will speak to you through circumstances. If you hate unnecessary pain then stay in His Word and when He speaks to you listen. This is one of the reasons why Jesus Christ kept saying when He was on earth, “He who has ears to hear, let Him hear”.

Acts 28:27 For the heart of this people has become dull,
And with their ears they scarcely hear,
And they have closed their eyes;
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
And hear with their ears,
And understand with their heart and return,
And I would heal them.”’

Do you need healing? Do you have areas that need changing? Let Him heal you so that you might be whole again. Let Him change you. His changes are lasting and they are not “turning over a new leaf” by trying harder. He makes you like Christ. Beloved, one day you will be like Him. Do not lose heart.