Author: instructionstoayounglife.com

When I was younger I read in the Bible that the Lord came to give me an abundant life and also that if I would trust Him then I would never be disappointed. These were incredible promises and so I decided to see if they were true. That was almost fifty years ago. What I have written are the truths that the Lord has taught me through His Word and I found them to be true every time. The Bible is the lecture and life is the lab. If a truth does not hold up in the lab then it can not be counted on. Every one was true and I have sought to build my life on these truths. We have a family business and four adult children. I wish that I could give my life to everyone but since I can't, I can share the truths that kept me from needless stress and pain. My marriage is the closest thing to heaven on earth. We are more "in love" than ever before and our children bring us great joy. I realize that not everyone will agree with everything that is written. I did not always agree either until I put it to the test. The Bible says that "wisdom will be vindicated by her deeds". The fruit from these truths have been sweet for me. May you be richly blessed as I have been. If you are struggling with life or with finding and keeping love in your life then please consider reading these posts. They have been tested and are true. If you are not happy and satisfied with life or what you have been doing has not been "working" then please consider what is written in these blogs. https://www.instructionstoayounglife.com is about how to live a life full of meaning, purpose, happiness with peace, quietness and confidence. https://www.howtofindandkeeplove.com is about the greatest love story in history. If you are looking for love and wanting to keep love in your life then please read this blog. These truths and this same love is offered to any who are willing to listen and learn. https://www.adviceforwomenaboutmen.com or https://www.adviceforgirlsaboutboys.com is practical advice on how a girl is to relate to a young man and how a woman is to relate to a man. It is a blog on how to keep from getting hurt and how to have a great love life. If you have any questions then please email me at fafeja@yahoo.com

A Life with Love Unites

The Lord said in His Word that love is the perfect bond of unity. There will be no unity without love.

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:14

There will be no peace without unity and very little will be accomplished without unity.

being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3

Unity must be preserved just as love must be preserved. You can not have one without the other. Love and unity can be lost and when a group of any people is divided against itself then it will fall.

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25

Many people want to live life without God. However, God is love and without God there will be no love or unity or peace. When God is removed from a marriage, home, community, city or nation then there will be fighting, stress, constant struggle, arguing, bitter jealousy and selfish ambition. The people will bite and devour one another and ultimately end up destroying each other. Only a fool lives as if there is no god.

But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. Galatians 5:15

The Lord has called us to love and to be at peace with one another. It is only possible through God. Jesus Christ came to set us free. Freedom begins on the inside when Jesus Christ sets us free from the things within that enslave us, whether it is bad thoughts, a bad feeling or attitude or bad habits and actions. There is not freedom on the outside if there is not freedom on the inside. We are controlled from within and unless we are controlled by what is good then we gravitate towards what is bad.

For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13

It is only when God controls us through His Spirit that we can love one another. It is our flesh that is selfish and destroys us. When a person gives their life to the Lord then He gives them His Spirit. Love comes and lives within them and love starts to live through them.

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, Galatians 5:16,17a

We are our own enemy when we allow the flesh to control us. It is our flesh that enslaves us. It is our flesh that destroys us, our marriages, our families, our cities and our nations. God’s Spirit is greater than our flesh and when God’s Spirit controls us then we do what is right. When people do what is right then we will love one another. We will help one another. We will be strong and there will be peace, quietness and confidence. Our strength must come from God and God must be our strength.

How blessed is the man whose strength is in You, Psalm 84:5a

Blessed means happy. Blessed are the people whose God is the Lord Jesus Christ. Blessed are the marriages where love abounds. Blessed are the children in whose homes God is honored. Blessed is the nation that trusts in the Lord and really mean that in God they trust. Blessed are the communities, cities and lands where God’s name is remembered. He will come and bless those who honor Jesus Christ, the only true Lord God and Savior.

in every place where I cause My name to be remembered, I will come to you and bless you. Exodus 20:24b

A Married Life Filled with Love

There are things that destroy love and there are requirements of love that are essential to lasting love. One of the roots of true love is moral excellence. There must be trust and respect to have true love in a marriage and the prerequisite to love, trust and respect is moral excellence. If you want true love within the marriage then you need to have moral excellence before marriage. Moral excellence is not compromising morally. If someone has moral excellence before marriage then they will almost always have moral excellence after marriage. Immorality is taking something that is not yours to take. A man has no right to any physical affection that he would not have with his sister. Any kind of physical affection has meaning to a female. Until a man takes a woman to be his wife he is to treat her with the same respect that he would treat his sister or mother.

II Peter 1:5-7 Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.

A good measure of how to treat another one of the opposite sex is if this person married your best friend would there be any awkwardness. You do not know who you will marry so do not speculate or presume. Through presumption comes strife.

Proverbs 13:10a Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife,

A great marriage is when two people become one in every way. Marriage is the only way it is possible for two people to become one spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. When there is a violation of God’s ways then it prevents the oneness from happening and that leads to emptiness and frustration. Moral excellence is the requirement for oneness and love, trust and respect is what allows oneness to happen. Oneness spiritually can happen with anyone who is a Christian and so for there to be spiritual oneness in marriage both spouses must be Christians.

II Corinthians 6:14,15 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

Once there is the common faith in Christ then it is good for there to be attraction of a friendship. This is the oneness of soul. Again, no physical because that is a lack of moral excellence and once there is the physical then the soul aspect becomes secondary. The Lord chose Eve to first be a companion to Adam and a great marriage is great companionship and friendship. In a great marriage there is a great need for clear communication and this is developed through friendship. One of the best ways to see what a person is like is to see how they interact in a group of friends. When a man and a woman spend much time alone together, even on the friendship level, then at least one of them will become emotionally attached and the breaking of the friendship will be painful and especially if there has been any defrauding. Defrauding is communicating that there is more to the relationship than there really is. Defrauding is a lack of moral excellence.

I Thessalonians 4:3-8 For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.

The third aspect of oneness in a great marriage is the oneness physically. You will be very glad if you wait. There is a peace, comfort, joy, security and great love for the couples who wait until marriage for the physical. It is so great that the Lord says that the man will outshine the sun when he comes out of his bedroom on his wedding night.

Psalm 19:1-5 The heavens are telling of the glory of God;
And their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.
Day to day pours forth speech,
And night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech, nor are there words;
Their voice is not heard.
Their line has gone out through all the earth,
And their utterances to the end of the world.
In them He has placed a tent for the sun,
Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber;

A man loses as much as a woman if he compromises before his wedding night. He has made his wife feel guilty and when they are intimate after marriage it will be a reminder to her of her guilt. She will not trust him like she would if he had exercised self control before marriage. Before marriage she may have thought it was love but after marriage she will realize that it was lust. They both lose and will struggle for the oneness that God designed.

A Life with Love Believes the Truth

When it comes to many areas in life there are many people who have no problem with accepting the truth. Most people understand that if you eat lots of carbs and don’t exercise then you will gain weight. Most people understand that you can not spend your money recklessly and still be able to pay your bills. Most students understand if they want to stay in school then they must study. However, when it comes to love, many people think that they can have it all. They want to be able to do what they want to do but they still want their partner to be faithful. They want to marry someone who has not slept around but they want to be able to do what they want to do. They want love and respect and they want their lusts and desires also. However, just like the rest of life, it does not work that way. You reap what you sow.

Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. Galatians 6:7

Many people do not want to “live under God’s laws” but they want everyone else to. They want their “freedom” but they do not want someone else to murder them, steal from them or lie to them. The Lord did not give those laws for His sake but for our sake so that we might live in peace with one another. He does not want to “control” us but He wants us to live in harmony and love one another. He does not need us but we need Him. For this reason, the Bible calls a person a fool when they live as if there is no god. In the same way, the Lord gave us laws of truth that will set us free when we live by them. Life and marriage is good to those who will believe what God says and live by His truths. He teaches us to love one another. It is wonderful to be in love and stay in love with the same person throughout your mature years. It is wonderful to not worry about sexually transmitted diseases or the many diseases that come from having more than one partner. Most cervical cancers in women are because they had more than one partner. It is wonderful to not worry if your child will be born blind because you had more than one intimate partner. The Lord made these “rules” or “laws” or “truths” for our sake.

But it shall come about, if you do not obey the Lord your God, to observe to do all His commandments and His statutes with which I charge you today, that all these curses will come upon you and overtake you: “The Lord will send upon you curses, confusion, and rebuke, in all you undertake to do, until you are destroyed and until you perish quickly, on account of the evil of your deeds, because you have forsaken Me. The Lord will make the pestilence cling to you until He has consumed you from the land where you are entering to possess it. The Lord will smite you with consumption and with fever and with inflammation and with fiery heat and with the sword and with blight and with mildew, and they will pursue you until you perish…The Lord will smite you with the boils of Egypt and with tumors and with the scab and with the itch, from which you cannot be healed. The Lord will smite you with madness and with blindness and with bewilderment of heart; You shall betroth a wife, but another man will violate her; Deuteronomy 28:15, 20-23, 27-28, 30a

All these are curses that we bring upon ourselves when we try to do life and love our way and try to “have it all”. Life and love are not any different from everything else. To have one thing then you must give up another.

Now it shall be, if you diligently obey the Lord your God, being careful to do all His commandments which I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you obey the Lord your God…The Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the offspring of your body and in the offspring of your beast and in the produce of your ground, in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. The Lord will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens, to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hand; and you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. The Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you only will be above, and you will not be underneath, if you listen to the commandments of the Lord your God, which I charge you today, to observe them carefully, and do not turn aside from any of the words which I command you today, to the right or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them. Deuteronomy 28:1-2,11-14

No one can make you eat healthy or spend less money to keep you healthy and your life in order. No one can make anyone study to stay in school. How easy it is to see the lives of other people. Why is there so much pain from relationships? Why do so many people who begin with love end up hating one another? Pain comes when the truth is ignored. It is the truth that if you will obey the commands and instructions of the Lord, which He gave to us for our good, then you will be blessed. Your life will be blessed and your marriage will be blessed. Your children will be blessed and all that you do will be blessed. Love and belief are choices. We can choose to believe and love God and we will be blessed or we can choose to go our own way. God is good and He is loving. He made a provision for us to know Him and follow Him through Jesus Christ. He made a way for us and His way is good. If you want a good life and a good marriage then He offers it to you through following Him. Obedience comes before understanding. After you obey then you will understand.

A Married Life Overflowing with Love

Everyone who is married longs for there to be true love in the marriage. Love is the sweet fragrance of a great marriage and the if you have love in your marriage then it truly cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joys. Without love then life and marriage is much harder and eventually can become bitter or lifeless. Love softens the blows that life sometimes brings that are out of our control. Love is the oil in relationships and without it relationships are a grind that can wear us down. Most marriages begin with good intentions but many do not know how to live out the desires and dreams that were there at the beginning.

I John 4:7,8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is love and there is no love a part from God. We do not know love a part from the Lord and we can not love a part from the Lord Jesus Christ. There may be duty, obligation or even a selfish love a part from the Lord but there will never be an agape love which is an unselfish, unconditional love apart from Jesus Christ. God came to us through Jesus Christ to show us what true love is and how we can experience it and know it. You must have Christ in your life to love and to be loved. We are untrusting creatures and don’t even know how to receive or give love. When we come into an encounter with Jesus Christ and receive Him then we are loved just the way we are and we can learn to love others just the way they are.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God loves us. Christ died for us when we did not love Him and had turned our back on Him. Jesus Christ loves us just the way we are with an unconditional, agape love. We are complete in Him and do not need the approval of others. He will always have our back and will never turn His back on us. He will never leave us or forsake us, even when it feels as though all others have and we are alone.

Hebrews 13:4,5 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

We do not need to have the “boastful pride of man” nor do we need to fulfill the lusts of the flesh or the lusts of the eyes when we have Christ. He is our glory and He will never leave us. We do not have to ever be lonely again. Being lonely is not His will and He wants His people to have a home. He wants you to have a home.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Rebellion is simply wanting to go your own way. If you have gone your own way and you are lonely in your marriage then turn to the Lord with all of your heart. He will fill your loneliness and fill you with love for your marriage partner. He will teach you how to love His way.

Galatians 6:9,10 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

The word “good” means the “highest form of love”. The Lord will show you how to “do good” to your spouse. In due time you will reap if you do not grow weary. He will show you the opportunities to do good. The Lord will teach you.

A Life with Love Gives Significance

Only someone greater can bless and give significance to someone else.

Now the Lord said to Abram,

“Go forth from your country,
And from your relatives
And from your father’s house,
To the land which I will show you;
And I will make you a great nation,
And I will bless you,
And make your name great;
And so you shall be a blessing;
And I will bless those who bless you,
And the one who curses you I will curse.
And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.” Genesis 12:1-3

God is greater than all and He is the One who gave Abraham his purpose and meaning in life and He is the One who gives all men and women and children their significance of who they are. He is the Creator and we are His creation. He made us in His image and made us and has given our lives meaning and purpose. When we are restored to a relationship with Him then we will find the meaning and purpose for our lives. He so loved us that He sent His Son to bring us back to Himself.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

We could not find our way to God so He provided a way for us. When we come to Him then He restores us to a relationship with Him and we become His child.

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, John 1:12

We become His child by becoming born again into His family.

Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:5-7

When we are born again into His family then we have an inheritance.

but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8:15b-17

The word “Abba” is the same as the affectionate name “Daddy”. We can call God, who becomes our heavenly Father, once we come to know Him, then we can call Him “Daddy”. It is an intimate relationship with God that the Lord brings us into when we come to know Him. We also receive eternal life, which begins the moment we come to know Him. Eternal life is not just living forever but it is knowing God.

This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent. John 17:3

Also, when we come to know Him and become His child and become an heir then we also inherit a blessing.

for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. I Peter 3:9b

The Lord gives us meaning and purpose in life when we give our lives to Him. His design is that we would be a blessing to the world. God blesses people so that they might be a blessing. God gives us love so that we might give love to others. God gives us forgiveness so that we might forgive others. The Lord blessed Abraham so that he might be a blessing. The Lord said that through Abraham all of the families of the earth would be blessed because it was through Abraham that Jesus Christ, the Messiah, came into the world.

For when God made the promise to Abraham, since He could swear by no one greater, He swore by Himself, saying, “I will surely bless you and I will surely multiply you.” And so, having patiently waited, he obtained the promise. For men swear by one greater than themselves, and with them an oath given as confirmation is an end of every dispute. In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us. Hebrews 6:13-18

Jesus Christ is the hope of all who have put their trust in Him. We live by faith and wait patiently for Him. Jesus Christ gives meaning and purpose to life. God is love and His love is expressed through Jesus Christ to the world. When Christ lives in a person then they have significance and then they can truly love others because they do not need to get their significance from someone else. Jesus Christ validates them and gives their life meaning. A person is free when they know Christ because they do not need to look to someone else for meaning, purpose, love, validation, significance or any of the other needs that are deep within us. Jesus Christ sets a person free and they are able to love, to forgive and to bless others.

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; Galatians 5:1a

You can never truly love until you are loved. God loves you and has offered you a gift of a great love, and that is to become His child.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. I John 3:1

A Life that Begins Marriage Right

The beginning of marriage starts before you even meet the person that you are to marry. This may sound a little strange but most, if not all, of the problems in marriage are the weeds of the seeds that were planted before marriage. How much easier it is to only plant good plants with good fruit in our marriage rather than to allow the seeds of weeds or plants with bad fruit to be sown. We all reap what we sow.

Galatians 6:7-9 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.

There are three enemies of a great marriage. These three enemies will destroy the love that God designed. A great marriage can be the closest experience to heaven if done God’s way. The Lord designed for marriage to be the closest picture of God’s love.

I John 2:15,16 Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

The word “lust” literally means desire. When we lust for something then we are simply desiring something that is outside of God’s will. God’s will is perfect and His love is perfect. When we succumb to a lust then we have given in to a desire that is not a part of His will and it will bring destruction to our lives and the lives of those around us. A great marriage is made of two people who have learned to not give in to the lust of the flesh or the lust of the eyes. They also have recognized the deceitfulness and emptiness of the boastful pride of life. These three things will destroy love in a marriage but they must be dealt with in a person’s life before they are married. We take into a marriage who we are. If we have failed in these areas then we are taking into our marriage the seeds of failure that will reap a marriage without true love or respect. You can not keep covered up who you are in your heart.

James 1:12-17 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.

It is through learning to persevere under the trials of life that our character is formed. Blessed in the man or woman and blessed will be their marriage if they have learned before marriage to flee from temptation and to turn to the Lord with all of their heart to receive His grace to do life right. If you can seek Jesus Christ and learn to walk in His ways before marriage then your marriage will be a picture of life rather than death. If you give into your lusts before marriage then you will be greatly tempted after marriage and it is you, yourself who will bring about the death of your marriage. Marriage is a gift from the Lord that He wants to give to His children but it must be done God’s way.

Ecclesiastes 3:14 I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him.

The Lord is perfect in all His ways and there is nothing to add to it and nothing to take from it. God has so worked that we should fear and honor Him. He is good and His love is perfect. When you do marriage God’s way then you will praise Him for His good and perfect gift.

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

It is most important to remember than you can only have a great marriage through Jesus Christ alone. He is the One who designed marriage and He is the One who will give you the strength and wisdom in how to do marriage right. If you did not start marriage right then He will help you if you turn to Him with all of your heart. Where sin, which is giving into lust, abounds His grace and love abounds all the more. There is no life and no marriage that is beyond His grace and mercy.

Romans 5:20b,21 but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, even so grace would reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Just as when sin reigns in a person’s life there will be death when grace reigns in a person’s life then there will be righteousness, or in other words, the life and marriage will be done right with the outcome of life. However, the grace, righteousness and life is only through Jesus Christ.

 

A Life with Love Involves the Will

Our soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Man is made up of spirit, soul and body. The decisions that we make in life are expressed through our body but made through our soul. Every decision that we make involves our soul and affects our soul. Love is an expression of the soul. We choose to love with our mind and our will and it affects our emotions. We choose to hate with our mind and our will and it also affects our emotions. We choose to believe with our mind and our will and it affects our destiny. Loving and believing are a choice of the mind and will. When we respond to God’s love and believe in Jesus Christ, God’s Son, then our spirit becomes alive. It is in our spirit that we worship and communicate with God. It is with our soul that we communicate with each other. It is with our spirit, soul and body that we love God and love another.

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. I Thessalonians 5:23

When we love God and love another as God has called us to do then our spirit, soul and body are preserved. When we sin against God and each other then we bring destruction to ourselves. Our spirit is made complete in Christ at the time of our conversion, if we are a Christian. Our soul is being made complete through our obedience to the Lord. Our soul experiences life when we do what is right. Our soul experiences death when we do what is wrong. The death to our soul is the sick feeling we have when the guilt comes and all the other feelings of regret. Guilt brings torment to the soul.

Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

God’s Word can be implanted in our soul and saves our soul. God’s Word gives life to our soul. Just as someone who receives a heart transplant because his heart is not functioning right, so we need to receive God’s Word implanted because our thoughts are not right. We have been corrupted in our mind, will and emotions. When we receive God’s Word into our soul then it transforms our mind, will and emotions so that we will know what is right. Our mind will tell us the right thing to do and our will carries it out. The happiness we experience in our emotions is because we did what was right.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

Sin is lawlessness and when we sin then we experience death to the soul.

Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness. I John 3:4

Everyone does just what he wants to do. If a man loves a woman then he will show love to her. Many women try to make excuses for a man when he does not call, come see her, etc. but it is because he does not want to. There are always exceptions when something urgent does come up, but love will always want to make up what was missed. In the same way, many people try to make excuses for themselves about why they do not believe in God and/or do what He wants them to do, but the bottom line is that they do not want to believe in God. They do not want to do what He says. Belief and love are a matter of the will. A person does just what they want to do.

And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. I John 4:21

The Lord would not have commanded us to do something that we could not do. Every marriage that fails is because someone gave up in their mind and will to love their spouse. Everyone messes up. Love is covering another’s mess. Shame is making it known. We cover up messes with our will and we make messes known with our will. Love is not always easy but it is worth it. When you are committed to loving another then it is only a matter of time before you will make a mess and you will be thankful that the other chose to love you.

Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When you are single and live alone then there are not many messes but there is no love. When a married couple have no children then their home is clean. However, there is great joy being in a loving marriage and there also is great fulfillment in having children. Many messes come in relationships but much happiness comes when life is done right.

A Life of A Great Marriage

A great marriage is God’s design for His children if it is His will for them to be married. He came that we might have an abundant life and part of that abundant life is an abundant marriage if marriage is a part of that life.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

It is the devil who comes only to steal, kill and destroy and he will do that not only in your life but in your marriage if you let him. The Bible says to resist the devil and he will flee from you.

James 4:6-8 But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

The first step to having a great marriage is to realize and acknowledge that you can not do it on your own. We all need God’s grace and the way to get God’s grace and help is to humble yourself before the Lord. He gives grace to the humble. He opposes the proud. Pride says that “I can do it on my own and I can do it my way.” When you humble yourself before the Lord then you are resisting the devil who whispers in your ear that “you have got this and don’t need the Lord”. Cleanse your hands means that you need to take it out of your hands and put it in the hands of the Lord by giving it to Him. Purify your hearts means that you can not be double minded, but single minded by being fully surrendered to the Lord. A double minded person is one who can not decide how to do something. Should they do it “this way or that way”. A pure heart says that you want only to do it God’s way. When we are fully surrendered to the Lord and put our marriage or future marriage in God’s hands then He will show us His ways and give us His grace. God’s ways are God’s wisdom and He will give to all who ask Him if they are not double minded.

James 1:5-8 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

So, the beginning of a great marriage is to ask God for wisdom. Don’t lean on your own understanding but trust in the Lord with all of your heart. Faith is trusting in the Lord and asking Him for wisdom is an expression of that faith. He wants to help you and direct you. His ways are perfect and He is good.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

If you will build your marriage on God’s wisdom then it will be firmly established and will be able to endure the storms of life. The days will be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Your marriage and home will be a refuge to you and all who enter.

Proverbs 24:3,4 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;
And by knowledge the rooms are filled
With all precious and pleasant riches.

 

 

 

A Life with Love Must Be a Wise Choice

One of the most misunderstood aspects of love is that many think that love is a feeling. Love is a choice of the mind and will and the emotions and feelings will follow. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions and is what allows you to enjoy all of the gifts that God, in His love, gives to mankind. One of His most precious gifts is a lover, friend, companion and soulmate whom you can go through life with and share in the joy of life. Love is a commitment and should be entered into with your mind and your will and if possible, very little emotion. When you make a major decision in life, such as, where you want to live, or go to school, or what career you want to pursue, then you use your mind. With your mind you try to make the choice objectively so that you can see clearly. How much greater is the decision as to whom you will marry and share life.

If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

The most important qualification for a marriage partner is who the other person chooses to serve. If you are a Christian and they are not then you will be miserable and they will be unhappy also because you all will not be of the same mind. They will have their god ad you will want to love the Lord God. You will not be able to share your greatest joys with the person who serves a different god. Who you serve is who you will love. Love is a choice in the God whom you choose to follow and worship. Whoever or whatever is your god will be the center of your life. If a person is self centered then they want to be their own god. If money is a person’s god then that will be the motivational factor in their life. If the Lord Jesus Christ is your God then you will want to please Him. No one can serve two masters and a marriage and home can not serve two masters. You will hate his god and he will hate your god if you both do not have to same Master in life.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth. Matthew 6:24

You and your spouse must be of the same mind, otherwise there will not be unity. If you both are on the same page with the same mind then there will be little disagreement when it comes to decisions, and especially major decisions.

Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment. I Corinthians 1:10

You both will want to have the same purpose in life, which means that you will be going in the same direction overall. Everything that you do will be towards the same goal. When you have the same purpose in life then each one of you will help the other achieve their unique calling and purpose in life and you both will complement each other rather than hinder one another. Each victory will be both of your victories and each sorrow will be shared. You will not cry alone.

make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Philippians 2:2

The more united that two married people are then the more each individual will achieve their full potential in life. The happier each one will be, will be directly proportional to the sameness in mind, the uniting of love and the oneness of purpose. However, all of this is only possible if both in the marriage are of one spirit. Two people can only be of one spirit if they are spiritually alive. Only Jesus Christ can make a person spiritually alive. When two people become spiritually alive then they have the capacity to be of one soul with each other. It is during the pre-marriage phase of a friendship that two people discover whether they are meant for one another. You must see the other person objectively for each of your own benefit.

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? II Corinthians 6:14,15

Marriage is one of the greatest joys when it is done God’s way. The sexual intimacy is reserved for marriage and the only way that you will know if God brings you together is when you come to the altar to say your vows to God. He brings two people together and joins them. If you enter into physical intimacy before marriage then you will not see clearly if this person is the one. You are only robbing yourself of another one of God’s gifts and you are also blinding your own eyes to what you need to see in the other person. Once two people become physically intimate then they can no longer see objectively.

So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:6

Marriage protects the love. The vows are made to keep us faithful to our spouse. The vows are made to God and vows made to God can not be broken. They must be kept. If they are kept then both of you will be blessed and both of you will grow in the love of the Lord. Life and marriage were made to be sweet and they can be, but only, if you follow the instructions of the One who is the Author of life and the Giver of good gifts.

A Life with Understanding

The Lord is good and there is nothing twisted in His ways. However, if you do not know Him then you may think that He is not fair or that He may even be twisted in what He does. Not so, He is just and He is good all of the time. This is His nature and who He is. All of the utterances of His mouth are right and there is nothing crooked or perverted in them. Those who have understanding know this.

Proverbs 8:8,9 “All the utterances of my mouth are in righteousness;
There is nothing crooked or perverted in them.
“They are all straightforward to him who understands,
And right to those who find knowledge.

A person who has understanding will come to Him daily and even moment by moment will commune with Him. They will want to live in His presence and will not have to be like the horse or mule that requires something to make them come to God.

Psalm 32:9 Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, Whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, Otherwise they will not come near to you.

The knowledge of the Holy One is understanding and it is sweeter than honey to the soul. There is no comparison to knowing Him and when you learn to live in His presence and in the knowledge of Him then you will truly know that nothing compares with the knowledge of Him.

Proverbs 9:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

The way to get more understanding is to keep his commandments. Many people want to understand His commandments before they do them but actually the obedience comes first and then the understanding. The Lord tells us to “not speak in the hearing of a fool lest he despise the wisdom of our words” so if He tells us to be that way then how much more will He not teach a fool His ways. It is foolish to not obey Him and do what He says.

Psalm 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever.

Understanding is what is supposed to characterize the people of God.

Deuteronomy 4:6 So keep and do them, for that is your wisdom and your understanding in the sight of the peoples who will hear all these statutes and say, ‘Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.’

What characterizes a person who understands and knows the Lord is that they will keep His commandments. To the degree that you keep His commandments is to the degree that you know Him.

I Chronicles 22:12 Only the Lord give you discretion and understanding, and give you charge over Israel, so that you may keep the law of the Lord your God.

To depart from evil is understanding. If you tolerate sin in your life then not only does the Lord not “understand” or excuse it but it is you who does not understand and know Him. How easy it is to say when we sin, “God will understand”. That is a lie from the devil.

Job 28:28 “And to man He said, ‘Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.’”

The Lord loves you and He wants you to depart from evil because He knows that is for your good and for the good of everyone else. The Lord hates evil and wants us to hate it as well. Evil causes grief and He sent His Son to save us from evil. He has compassion on all.

Job 36:5 “Behold, God is mighty but does not despise any; He is mighty in strength of understanding.

Do you know Him and have understanding? Go to the Lord and ask Him for understanding that you might know Him. Read His Word and pray that you might understand it. He loves you and has come to give you light, life and understanding, which is the knowledge of Him. He makes your life sweet and brings life to the spirit and healing to the soul.

Psalm 119:130 The unfolding of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple.