A Life with Love Can Be Found

Just as love can be lost, love also can be found. Those who find love, that is, true unconditional love, are never the same. Love changes a person. Love brings life to the spirit, soul and body of the one who finds love. Love is meant to be experienced. This is what it means to “know” love.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. I John 4:7,8

God is love and the one who knows God will also know love. Love is spiritual but is felt and experienced in the soul and expressed through the body. Adam and Eve had no love of their own apart from God.

Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” John 3:3

Just as the Bible says that everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. One has to be born again to experience the love and the knowledge of God. Until one is born again he is still separated from knowing and experiencing the love that God has for him.

Nicodemus said to Him, “How can a man be born when he is old? He cannot enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born, can he?” Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. John 3:3-6

Just as the spirit of man died when Adam and Eve sinned so also his spirit must be made alive. Man is spiritually made alive when he becomes born again. For this reason, it is not enough to know about God’s love with the mind and even feel it with the emotions, unless we have been born again. It will only be an intellectual belief or an emotional faith until one is born again. When a person is born again, they are no longer separated from God but they have become restored in their relationship with God through the Spirit of God. God’s Spirit has become united with their spirit to make them spiritually alive. The born again one not only knows about the love of God but God’s Spirit has caused them to born again into God’s own family and they now have found and discovered God’s love for them personally. They have become a child of God and a recipient of God’s love forever.

Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must be born again.’ John 3:7

There is no other way to find love than through being restored back into a love relationship with God through Jesus Christ. God sent Jesus Christ into the world that man might be restored to the love relationship that God had with Adam and Eve before they sinned. Jesus Christ did not come into the world to judge man but that man might be restored and know God’s love.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. John 3:16,17

When God saves a person, they are saved and restored in their spirit, soul and body. They are saved from eternal death and given life in these three areas. When one is born again he can now love and worship God in his spirit, love and pray with his spirit and his soul, and love and serve God with His spirit, soul and body. He has been given a new life in Christ and every area of him experiences the love of God in Christ Jesus. When someone is restored to God and finds God’s love then he has found the greatest treasure of all.

He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32

Just as Adam and Eve lost everything pertaining to life when they sinned so also when one receives Jesus Christ into their life and is born again, they find not only love but everything else pertaining to life.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

A Life that Lives the “The Good Life”

Everyone wants to have a good life. There are sayings in many places that say “Life is Good”. However, if we are honest with ourselves, our life is not always good and sometimes we can experience much bad. There are two types of good and there are also two kinds of bad. There is the good and bad that we have no control over and there is also the good and bad that we allow to come into our life. The good that we have no control over is a “common” good that is available to all.

for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45b

Another word for bad is evil and much evil that we experience is the evil in the world that is a result of man not listening to the Lord and “going his own way”. Before Adam and Eve sinned they had never known evil or experienced any bad. The Lord had to send them out of the garden of Eden so that they would not take and eat of the “tree of life” and live forever with their fallen nature and separated from God.

and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. Genesis 3:22b, 23

It was God’s mercy and goodness that sent man out of the garden. Man could not be trusted and man now needed God more than ever to help him learn to do what is good for man. God is good and no evil or bad dwells with Him.

O taste and see that the Lord is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Psalm 34:8

The word “good” means the highest form of love. The Lord is good and His love towards us is perfect, is pure and is for our good. The word “evil” means grief. It is impossible for God to do evil towards anyone because no evil dwells with Him.

No evil dwells with You. Psalm 5:4

The “common” good and the “common” evil that we all experience in life is a good and bad that we have no control over. The “common” good is God’s love and care for mankind. He created everything and said that “it was good”. The “common” evil that we experience is because of man’s sin of going his own way and is prevalent in the world. It brings much grief to people and we have no control over it. Evil and the grief that follows was never God’s design or plan for anyone. God’s will for man is good, perfect and loving. If man knew God’s will for his life then it would be exactly what he would choose for himself.

the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:b

If anyone will come to the Lord, then that person will experience God’s goodness and His love. The one who experiences God’s love will be able to also love others. The one who comes to the Lord will start to live in the wonderful cycle of experiencing God’s love more and more and grief less and less. Much of the grief that we experience in life and the grief that brings the greatest pain is the grief that we bring on ourselves by doing evil towards others. Doing evil brings pain to others but much greater is the destruction and pain that it brings to the one who did it. Evil destroys the one who does it. Evil is not of the Lord and one of the names of Satan is the “Evil one”. The only command in the Bible that the Lord uses the word “never” with is the command to never return evil for evil. The temptation is that when someone causes us grief then we want to return that grief in one form or another. The Lord says to “never” take your own revenge or return evil.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Romans 12:17

Never take your own revenge, Romans 12:19a

Evil is doing anything that is not in accordance with God’s will, which He has clearly instructed us in His Word, the Bible. When we go “our own way” and ignore or neglect God then our life will overflow with much pain and grief. We will live a life of pain and anger and blaming God because of our choices and actions.

The foolishness of man ruins his way, And his heart rages against the Lord. Proverbs 19:3

God is good and His ways are good. When we walk in His ways and do His will then our life will overflow with the love and goodness of God. We will be happy and at peace with others. The Lord has stored up much goodness for us.

How great is Your goodness, Which You have stored up for those who fear You, Which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You, Before the sons of men! Psalm 31:19

Come to Him and live in His love and goodness. Come to the One who made you and loves you perfectly. Come to God, who loves you so much that He gave up His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for you that you might live in His love forever.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

When you come to God then He will teach you the “good” way. He will teach you about life and love and He will teach you how to avoid much grief and sorrow.

Good and upright is the Lord; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way. Psalm 28:5

The Lord will teach you how to be free on the inside. He will teach you about relationships and how to thrive in life. Jesus did not come that you might survive but He came that you might live and live life to the fullest. Jesus wants you to know and live in His love every moment and forever.

I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10b

A Life that Keeps Vows

The Lord says that we are to pay our vows. We are to be faithful to pay our vows to the Lord. The Lord says that it would be better for you to not make a vow than to make a vow to God and not fulfill it.

Ecclesiastes 5:4,5 When you make a vow to God, do not be late in paying it; for He takes no delight in fools. Pay what you vow! It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay.

Thank the Lord and pay your vows to the Lord.

Psalm 50:14 “Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving And pay your vows to the Most High;

The best way to keep vows is one day at a time.

Psalm 61:8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever, That I may pay my vows day by day.

If you are married and have children then your children are children of your marriage vows.

Proverbs 31:2 What, O my son? And what, O son of my womb? And what, O son of my vows?

Marriage vows are vows that you make to the Lord and no one, not even your spouse, can break your vows. The Lord does not talk about vows being broken but of vows being kept. Vows can not be broken. They are either kept or not kept but the vows still stand. For this reason if a spouse leaves or divorces his spouse then the wife is to remain single. She is to keep herself pure, spiritually and physically.

I Corinthians 7:34 The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

The “unmarried” refers to women who were once married but are not at this time, but their husband, who they were married to, is still living. The virgin is a reference to a lady who has never been married.

Romans 7:2,3 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man.

Marriage vows are binding and intended to be kept and fulfilled. Do not plan to get married unless it is until death do us part. Marriage vows are made to the Lord not to each other and each spouse is under obligation to the Lord. These matters may seem difficult if you are in a difficult marriage but the Lord will bless you if you do His will. He says that where sin abounds then grace abounds. The Lord will give you the grace to love your husband and He will give you wisdom in your relationship. Go to a godly woman who is is walking with the Lord if you need help in your marriage for that is God’s provision.

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

However, if you have made a commitment with your mouth or even made a vow to the Lord to do something and you realize that you have made a mistake then the Lord has a provision for you.

Numbers 30:3-8 Also if a woman makes a vow to the Lord, and binds herself by an obligation in her father’s house in her youth,and her father hears her vow and her obligation by which she has bound herself, and her father says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand and every obligation by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if her father should forbid her on the day he hears of it, none of her vows or her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the Lord will forgive her because her father had forbidden her.“However, if she should marry while under her vows or the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself, and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day he hears it, then her vows shall stand and her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand. But if on the day her husband hears of it, he forbids her, then he shall annul her vow which she is under and the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself; and the Lord will forgive her.

The Lord has provided fathers and husbands for girls and ladies for their protection. Go to your father or husband if you have made a rash decision and humble yourself and ask them to help you. On the day that they hear of what you have done they can release you from that commitment.

Psalm 50:22,23 “Now consider this, you who forget God,
Or I will tear you in pieces, and there will be none to deliver.
“He who offers a sacrifice of thanksgiving honors Me;
And to him who orders his way aright
I shall show the salvation of God.”

Whatever you do and whatever mess you find yourself in (and we all makes messes at times) then remember the Lord. Do not take things into your own hands or just ignore what you have done thinking that it will go away. It will go into your conscience and will come up later. The Lord is your Savior and He will save you from any situation that you are in and He will show you His salvation.

Psalm 130:1-4 Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord.
Lord, hear my voice!
Let Your ears be attentive
To the voice of my supplications.
If You, Lord, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
But there is forgiveness with You,
That You may be feared.

If you have not kept previous vows to the Lord there is forgiveness with Him but you need to confess your sin to Him and ask Him to forgive you. Do not minimize it. There is forgiveness with Him. If you have made a vow to the Lord and you can go back and fulfill it then do so. Make sure you have a clear conscience. Cry out to Him out of the depths of any pain. He loves you. Do not despair. You will see His goodness.

Psalm 27:13 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

 

 

 

A Life with Love Does Not Judge

Judging someone is the opposite of loving someone. The Lord has not called us to judge but to love. There is only One Lawgiver and Judge.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you who judge your neighbor? James 4:12

The Lord has called us to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul and mind and our neighbor as ourselves, that is, how we would want someone else to love us. We can not love and judge at the same time. When we are judging someone then we are presuming something about someone else when we do not have all of the facts. We are not all knowing. There is only One who is all knowing and He will judge righteously.

Do not speak against one another, brethren. He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge of it. James 4:11

The Lord has called us to be a doer of His word and not a judge of it. If we are only a hearer of the word and not a doer then we are only deceiving ourselves and His truth and love is not in us.

But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves. James 1:22

When Adam and Eve sinned they became a judge of God and His Word and not a lover of God and a doer of His Word. They presumed about the Lord and His character and so they hid themselves.

They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 2:8-10

Adam was afraid because he know longer knew the Lord. His view of God became distorted because of his sin and Adam began making a judgment of God of what he thought God was like. Everything that you and I do is a response to our view of God. Everything that every person in the world does is a response to their view of God. For this reason, our greatest need is to have the correct view of God. God is not who we judge Him to be but God is who God is, whether we know Him or not. When the Bible uses the word “know” someone, it means an intimate knowledge of the person. Adam lost his intimacy with God when he sinned. He no longer knew Him and Adam’s judgment of God became twisted. God is not twisted but Adam’s view of God became distorted and twisted.

With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:26

Only God can cleanse our heart. Our heart becomes clean when we are forgiven of our sin. Only God can forgive us of our sin. Jesus Christ shed His blood on the cross to forgive us of our sin, to forgive us for wanting and trying to be like God. He came to forgive us of judging God and everyone else.

And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness. Hebrews 9:22

The correct view of God will only come when our heart has been cleansed and is pure. A pure heart is a heart that by faith is single minded in its purpose to trust and obey God.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

The Lord wants to reveal Himself to all of us but He waits until we have drawn near to Him through faith, by His grace, and have had our hearts cleansed through the blood of Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross to forgive us of our sins. He took all of our sins and gave us all of His righteousness that we might once again be restored to a loving relationship with God and know God intimately.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

A Life that Works

The Lord created the heavens and the earth in six days and then He rested. He rested from His work. The Lord has given all of us work to do.

Genesis 2:1,2 Thus the heavens and the earth were completed, and all their hosts. By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

Jesus worked when He was on earth.

John 4:34 Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work.

Jesus glorified the Father by accomplishing the work which He had given Him to do.

John 17:4 I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.

The Lord wants us to work for eternal food and not just for food for our physical bodies.

John 6:27 Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.”

The Lord says that if we do not work then we have no right to eat. The Lord has given all of us work to do. Some work we get paid for and other work we do not receive financial compensation. We need to be doing the work He has given us to do.

II Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order: if anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat, either.

Those who do not work need to be exhorted to work. Work is part of a disciplined life and the word disciple comes from the word discipline. The Lord wants us to lead disciplined lives.

II Thessalonians 3:11,12 For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies.Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread.

Joy and contentment are related. Happiness comes from doing the work that the Lord has given you to do and being the person that God has created you to be.

 

 

A Life that Feeds Others

One of the Lord’s last recorded conversations was one that He had with Peter after Peter had denied Him and then been restored. The Lord asked Peter, “Do you love Me?”. The relationship that we all have with the Lord when we become a Christian is a love relationship. It is the greatest love story ever known to man and there is nothing that can surpass it. God so loved the world that He gave.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

The Lord loved us while we were His enemies and He died for us when we had turned our back on Him. He loved us in spite of who we were and had become. His love was unconditional and He loved us just the way we were.

Romans 5:8 God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

There was no good outweighing the bad. Even our goodness is considered as filthy rags. We have nothing to offer to Him.

Isaiah 64:6a For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment;

He still asks the same questions even though we have failed Him many times and it is “Do you love Me?”. Do you love Him? His answer is the same as it was to Peter, “Feed My sheep.”

John 21:17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” and he said to Him, “Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.”

The Lord gave us His righteousness. He also wants us to feed His sheep.

Proverbs 10:21a The lips of the righteous feed many,

The Lord wants us to feed others with the spiritual food that He has given to us. Who are you feeding? The more you feed others then the hungrier you will get and want to learn more Him. If you don’t feed others then you become spiritually fat and sluggish or spiritually sick from a lack of appetite. Ask the Lord to show you those whom you can feed.

A Life with Love is Relational

Love is about relationships. The Lord made us to be in a relationship with Him and in relationship with others. It is not good to alone. It is love that makes the relationships alive and meaningful and the relationships that we have define our lives. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God then their relationship with God changed and they changed.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food,and that it was a delight to the eyes,and that the tree was desirable to make wise,she took from its fruit and ate;and she gave also to her husband with her,and he ate.Then the eyes of both of them were opened,and they knew that they were naked;and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. Genesis 3:6,7

Sin always changes people and relationships. Something within us is destroyed and we no longer enjoy the freedom and security that we had before we sinned. Adam and Eve were ashamed and insecure. They tried to cover themselves up.

Righteousness exalts a nation,
But sin is a disgrace to any people. Proverbs 14:34

Sin also makes us fearful. The only problem was that there was nothing that they needed to be afraid of but sin distorts reality in our mind and we start responding not to the Lord and His Word but to our fears. When we respond to our fears then our life becomes anxious and even more insecure. Those who obey the Lord have no need to fear. They know the Lord and have put their trust in Him.

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord.
“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8

Sin brings guilt and guilt changes our thoughts and our actions. The guilt in our lives will change the path that we take so that we can avoid any reminder of the guilt. God made man so that he can not live without love and in the same way, God made man so that he can not live with guilt. Man will do anything that he can to try to get rid of the guilt or to block it out. Since man can not get rid of his own guilt, his actions only lead to more guilt. It is a horrible life.

The way of a guilty man is crooked,
But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

The path of the guilty is no longer straight but it is crooked. His conduct becomes even more crooked just as the saying goes, “the leg of a lie gets longer and longer”. The guilt in a person’s life will twist their view of everything. They will no longer see clearly and will become suspicious of even those who have done them no wrong. Even their view of God becomes distorted.

With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:25,26

The Lord is good and loving. He is kind and blameless. However, to the guilty and crooked person He becomes twisted in their mind and eyes. The most important thing in a person’s life is their view of God. Everything that man does is a response to his view of God. God is not who you think that He is, He is who He is and He reveals Himself to those who seek Him with a pure heart. The view that you have of God is not an indication of who He is but it is more an indication of the purity of your heart.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

There is only One who can take your sin and guilt away and give you a clean heart and that is Jesus Christ.

The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! John 1:29

He came to earth, died on the cross and rose again to take the punishment that all of us deserve, to forgive us of our sin and to restore us to a relationship with God.

For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, I Peter 3:18a

A Life that Does Not Extrapolate

The word extrapolate means to extend the meaning of something to a conclusion. The Bible is full of mysteries that we can not explain or understand. The Lord said that the things revealed belong to us but the secret things belong to the Lord our God.

Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.

Just as a loving parent does not explain a lot of knowledge in detail to their five year old child because it would be a burden to the child, even so, the Lord has only given us the knowledge that is good for us. He wants us to observe, which means to obey, His word.

I Corinthians 4:6 Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, so that in us you may learn not to exceed what is written, so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other.

The Lord tells us very clearly not to exceed what is written. There are paradoxes in the Christian life. The Lord says that whoever calls upon the Lord will be saved.

Acts 2:21 ‘And it shall be that everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’

The Lord says that no one can come to Him unless the Father draws him.

John 6:44 No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.

Are both of these truths true? Yes. He draws us and we call on Him. Just leave it at that and don’t extrapolate by exceeding what is written. The Lord wants us to trust Him.

Ephesians 4:13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of  the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.

The goal is to know Jesus Christ. In knowing Him we do not need to know everything but we do need to know in order to trust Him in everything. Rest in the fact that He loves you and He has made everything known to us that we need to obey Him. If we obey Him then we will become that mature Christian.

I Corinthians 13:12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.

Jesus knows you fully and fully knows what you need. He will supply all of your needs according to His riches in Christ. You can rest securely in that knowledge and in Him.

Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

A Life with Love Brings Satisfaction

Love brings satisfaction to others by helping them to become the person that God designed them to be and to do the things that God wants them to do. A person can only do this if they have the love of God abiding in them. When Eve disobeyed God she no longer was a helpmate to Adam but she became his mate who hurt him. Her life no longer helped him grow closer to God but she hurt his relationship with the Lord by wanting him to sin just as she had sinned. Sin has a ripple effect and will always bring hurt to the people around the one doing the sinning.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her and he ate. Genesis 3:6

If you love someone then you will not want to be a stumbling block to them but will want to help them grow in their relationship with the Lord. You are either pointing people to the Lord through your life or you are pointing them away from the Lord. A person who is disobedient to what the Lord says will not only stumble themselves but they will put a stumbling block before others. God’s Word is offensive to the one who does not want to obey it. The disobedient person will often want others to do the same as they have done. It does not lessen their guilt but only increases it.

For this is contained in Scripture: “Behold, I lay in Zion a choice stone, a precious corner stone, And he who believes in Him will not be disappointed.” This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for those who disbelieve, “The stone which the builders rejected,
This became the very corner stone,” and, “A stone of stumbling and a rock of offense”; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this doom they were also appointed. I Peter 2:6-8

“Indeed, did God say…” is what the devil said to Eve. He caused her to question God’s Word and then she twisted what the Lord said and then she disobeyed God’s Word. She disobeyed God’s Word to her own destruction, to the destruction of her marriage and home and to the destruction of her relationship with God. The Lord had given Adam and Eve everything that man and woman could possibly want. Yet, they were not satisfied. You will never be satisfied if you look elsewhere for satisfaction, other than to the Lord. There will always be something prettier, better, more advantageous and anything else that we think would bring us happiness.

Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied,
Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

Sheol and Abaddon are other names for hell. The devil is never satisfied as to how many people he can get to go to hell with him. He is never satisfied with how many marriages he can destroy or how many lives he has destroyed. When your marriage is destroyed and dies then something within you also dies. You will never be the same. In the same way, the eyes of men and women are never satisfied. They will always want more.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied. Matthew 5:6

As you learn to hunger and thirst for the Lord and to hunger and thirst after righteousness then you will be satisfied. Righteousness is believing what God said by faith and acting on it by obeying His Word. It may seem impossible but it is true. The word “blessed” means happy. You will be happy and satisfied in life, in your marriage and you will be a blessing to your spouse and to others.

A Life of Marriage Prep

The best time to prepare for marriage is before you get married. It is a God given desire for a young lady to want to get married. However, the more you are prepared for marriage the easier it will be for you. The seeds that you sow before you get married determines the fruit that you reap after you are married. You will reap either good fruit or bad fruit.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Do not use the flesh to attract a man because then you will seek to use your flesh to keep him. This will bring great insecurity to you because a man’s eyes are never satisfied.

Proverbs 27:20 Sheol and Abaddon are never satisfied, Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied.

However, it is important to do your best to look your best because man does look on the outward appearance.

I Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

However, you want the inner beauty of the Lord to be greater than any outward appearance. Your outward appearance is decaying but the inner man is being renewed day by day.

II Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.

The Lord will strengthen you through His Spirit in the inner man to become a godly woman who fears the Lord. You must learn to walk in the Spirit on a daily moment by moment basis. This is the greatest preparation for marriage.

Ephesians 3:16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man,

A man will never fulfill you or make you happy. The sooner you learn this lesson the happier you will be. Young ladies have a tendency to live in the “if” or “when ” world. “If I were …” or “if I had …” or “when I …” and the truth of the matter is that the “if” and “when” does not change the contentment of your soul. You must learn to be content in Jesus Christ. He must be your desire. The more you learn to be content in Him then the more content you will be in whatever state He has you, whether married or single.

Psalm 73:25 Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.

Contentment, gratefulness and joy all go together. The greatest gift that you can give to yourself and to others and especially to the man you marry is an attitude of gratitude. No one likes to be around a complainer or someone who is never happy. Someone once said that an unhappy wife is a public rebuke to her husband. Cultivate a grateful spirit and begin now by expressing thanks to your parents and those who have helped you in life. Not only do you quench the Spirit when you do not give thanks but you will quench your husband’s spirit and what he once wanted to do for you he will no longer do because it isn’t “exactly the way you like it”.

Ephesians 5:16-19 Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the Spirit;

Learn to compliment a man. A man longs for praise. The Lord made him this way and most men are starved for praise and they will gravitate to the people who praise them. This is crucial because the Lord made a man to conquer and he needs the praise of his wife to go out and conquer the world in his job. Also, if you do not praise him then other women will. Even if you do praise him other women will still do it. This is one of the ways that an immoral woman gets a man to commit adultery. She flatters him with her tongue. He does not know that it is flattery and the aim of flattery is to manipulate so you want to make sure that he is filled with your praises if you are his wife. Learn now to praise. You can begin by learning to praise your brothers and your brothers in Christ. Look for Christlikeness and then point it out to him how you see the Lord in him.

Proverbs 2:16 To deliver you from the strange woman, From the adulteress who flatters with her words;

Learn to dress in a modest manner so that a godly man will be attracted to you. If you dress in such a way that stimulates a man by stirring up desires that can not be fulfilled righteously then you are a stumbling block. Why should the Lord give you to a godly man who is seeking Him. No, rather, if you dress in a provocative manner then a man who is “all about himself” will be drawn to you and since you dressed in a deceptive manner you will be the one who will end up being deceived. He will deceive you into you believing that he actually cares for you when he does not care for you but loves himself.

Proverbs 23:6,7 Do not eat the bread of a selfish man,
Or desire his delicacies;
For as he thinks within himself, so he is.
He says to you, “Eat and drink!”
But his heart is not with you.

Finally, do dress in a modest manner, as is fitting for one who seeks to please the Lord. Learn to fear the Lord and obey Him. Honor you parents, as the Lord has commanded. If you do not honor your parents then you will struggle with honoring and respecting your husband. The Lord gives the woman to the man, not the man to the woman. You need to ask yourself if you want to serve, desire, submit to and respect a man and consider him more important than yourself. If you are not ready for that then ask the Lord to help you and go to older women who have a good marriage and ask them to teach you. Marriage can be a sweet fellowship and relationship between a man and a woman if it is done God’s way. It is supposed to be a picture of Christ and the church. Just as Christ died for the church, the husband is the love His wife in a sacrificial way and be willing to die for her. In the same way, a wife is to live for her husband (as the church is to live for Christ) and the way that she learns to serve and love Him in this Christlike manner is to die to herself. Marriage is a dying of two selves so that the Lord can raise up one (in body, soul and spirit) to glorify Him.

Ephesians 5:31-33 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

It is a mystery but it is a beautiful mystery and the most intimate relationship on earth when done God’s way. To love and be loved is what we all long for but it is only when we are surrendered to the Lord and learn His ways will we ever know what it means to live in intimate fellowship in marriage.