Love is pure otherwise it is not really love. Since only God can purify our hearts we can only love with a pure heart if our heart is right with God. Our hearts are basically selfish and we want our own way. Selfishness and love can not dwell in a person at the same time.
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16
If you are still single then one of the kinds of people that you want to avoid are selfish people. They care about no one but themselves and your life will be difficult and miserable if you marry a selfish person.
But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self…Avoid such men as these. II Timothy 3:1,2a and 5b
If a person gives their life to Jesus Christ then the Lord comes and lives within them and loves through them. The love of Christ is pure and unselfish.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, Philippians 2:3-5
When someone becomes a Christian they become a new creation in Christ and the Lord gives them a new self. They are a new person and not who they were before.
But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:20-24
When we become a Christian then we lay aside the old self with it’s selfish practices and put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him. God begins the process of restoring His image in us as He designed from the beginning. God’s image is one of a pure love.
Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— Colossians 3:9,10
God’s love is a love that man can not know or experience apart from God. His love is a love that changes the person with whom it resides and a love that changes the people who see it and receives it through the person whom it resides in. God’s kind of love is a love that has no selfish ambition or personal agenda but regards the other person as more important and seeks the welfare of the one being loved.
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7
There is nothing sweeter in all of human relationships than to love and be loved with God’s love through another person. God’s love is patient and kind. It does not seek its own and it is not jealous when the other person succeeds or receives honor. God’s love is not easily provoked and is patient. God’s love bears all things, believes the best in the one loved and endures hardships and hopes for the best for the other person when all hope seems gone. This is the kind of love that God has for you. It is a love that never dies and He longs for you to know this love. This love can only be found in Jesus Christ for He alone is pure and His love is perfect. God can and does give this kind of love to His people for them to love others.
Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18
You will be blessed as you learn to long for the Lord. He longs to love you and show you His grace. He is waiting for all to come to Him. He came to us and waits for us to respond to Him. When you become weary then remember that there is One who will allow you to rest in His love and know His deep and abiding love that will never leave you.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
The Lord will hold you in His arms and keep you safe and secure. His love is eternal and He never changes.
The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; Deuteronomy 33:27a