Every woman longs to be loved. It is crucial if you want to be loved, to attract one who understands and knows how to give love. Some women attract the wrong kind of men. The wrong kind of man is a man who will never love a woman, for he is a man who only understands self love. He loves himself.
But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, II Timothy 3:1,2a
The wrong kind of man does not even know how to love another and life is all about him. He is attracted to women who he thinks will meet his desires, his dreams and fantasies, his needs and women who will be all about him. The only problem with this kind of man is that he is never satisfied.
Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20b
There will always be a prettier and more exciting woman out there. This kind of man is a fool and one of the characteristics of a fool is that a fool consumes. He will consume the freshness of any woman who allows it and then he will dispose of her, or neglects and abuses her until she wants to get out of the relationship.
There is precious treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man swallows it up. Proverbs 21:20
However, there is the law of attraction where “birds of a feather flock together”. A foolish female will attract a male who is a fool. A foolish man looks on the outward appearance and lives for the satisfaction of his flesh. A foolish woman will dress and act in such a manner as to attract the carnal part of a man. It is the carnality in a man that seeks to love himself, to the exclusion of everyone else. It is a man’s flesh that is drawn to what is destructive to himself and anyone in a relationship with him. A man looks at the outward appearance first, but if a woman is wise then she will seek to be even more attractive on the inside, for a man will be satisfied if his needs are met as well as his desires. A man needs a woman whom he respects, a woman who is secure within herself, a woman of moral purity and integrity, a woman who is confident and courageous, and a woman who will do him good all the days of her life. A man needs a woman whom he can trust. Only the Lord can produce these qualities within a woman and blessed will be the man who finds such a woman who fears the Lord and trusts in Him.
for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. I Samuel 16:7b
A woman may get attention if she appeals to the flesh of a man but there is the law of diminishing returns. She must do more and more to get his attention and finally even that is not enough, for his flesh will never be satisfied. Sex, outside of marriage, is a fleshly appetite and for men, sex outside of marriage is “like sitting down and eating a steak dinner”. Once his sexual appetite has been satisfied then he is no longer interested. He will also wonder what “sitting down and eating a steak dinner” with another woman is like, in other words, he will lust after and desire another woman’s body. For, with the woman who gives herself away, after awhile, it is no longer a steak dinner but more like a hamburger at a fast food restaurant. Meanwhile, the woman has given her heart away, which is her treasure, merely for the man to consume it. He will forget about it once his appetite has been satisfied, that is, until he is hungry again. This is one reason why a self-loving man will usually not marry a woman he has sex with. “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”, he says to himself.
…one of the foolish ones shamelessly uncovers himself! II Samuel 6:20b
A woman is foolish to drink alcohol for it only lowers her resistance to what is right. A man who is selfish will want her to drink, but it is not out of love for her, but love for himself, so that he may look on her nakedness. When you expose your nakedness then you will be filled with disgrace rather than honor.
“Woe to you who make your neighbors drink,
Who mix in your venom even to make them drunk
So as to look on their nakedness!
“You will be filled with disgrace rather than honor.
Now you yourself drink and expose your own nakedness. Habakkuk 2: 15,16
A woman is foolish to uncover herself in the way she dresses before marriage for she will attract a foolish man who will give her attention so that he may take advantage of her. Even though he thinks that he is getting something for nothing, it is a foolish man who will have sex with a woman outside of marriage. There is the possibility he will get a sexually transmitted disease or get a woman pregnant. A woman who is immoral will lie. She can not be trusted. Every time he will become physically one with either an adulteress or a harlot. He does not know it, but he has fallen into a pit or a narrow well. He is trapped and does not even know it. She will be a snare to his soul.
For a harlot is a deep pit And an adulterous woman is a narrow well. Proverbs 23:27
The end is death for the man who follows after a woman who is immoral. In the end he will be bitter towards women, the very ones whom he used and abused. He does not know the misery which will come upon him.
Now therefore, my sons, listen to me,
And pay attention to the words of my mouth.
Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways,
Do not stray into her paths.
For many are the victims she has cast down,
And numerous are all her slain.
Her house is the way to Sheol,
Descending to the chambers of death. Proverbs 7:24-27
What then should a female do then to avoid men such as these men who are lovers of self? Avoid them at all cost.
For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women… II Timothy 3:2-6
Be pure in your speech and conduct. Be faithful to do what God has called you to do and to be where the Lord has called you to be. Stay in God’s Word and in prayer, that is, maintain a daily time of devotion with the Lord. Do not go where ungodly men go. Do not dress so as to attract the fleshly aspect of man. Do not drink alcohol. Listen to your father, for he can see things in a man that you can never see. Stay under your God given authority, which is your father, until the time of marriage. Do not date a man whom you would not marry and do not marry a man who the Lord would not want for you. Seek the Lord, for He will protect you. Ask Him for wisdom. God’s wisdom will protect the man from the adulteress woman and the woman from the man who speaks twisted things, both kinds of people who would lead to the destruction and misery of any who would keep company with them.
For wisdom will enter your heart
And knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;
Discretion will guard you,
Understanding will watch over you,
To deliver you from the way of evil,
From the man who speaks perverse things;
From those who leave the paths of uprightness
To walk in the ways of darkness;
Who delight in doing evil
And rejoice in the perversity of evil;
Whose paths are crooked,
And who are devious in their ways;
To deliver you from the strange woman,
From the adulteress who flatters with her words; Proverbs 2:10-16
Instructions To A Young Life 