What is emphasized as desirable in a man before marriage is of much less worth after marriage. After you get married you hardly notice a man’s looks but it shouts at you how he treats you. Some men think that a woman wants him for his body and he will spend hours working out to get and maintain his physical attractiveness. There is no question that no woman wants to marry a fat man, unless maybe she is overweight herself. However, way too much emphasis is put on the outward appearance and generally a man has no control over how good looking he is or even the shape or size of his body, other than the fat content. A man does have control over how he treats his wife. One of the most desirable qualities in a man is kindness. Who you marry is who you plan to live the rest of your life with and it is a great pleasure to live with someone who is kind. It is a bad experience to live with a selfish and conceited man. Marriage is for life and you will be glad if the man you marry is kind and considerate.
What is desirable in a man is his kindness, Proverbs 19:22
Understand What is Most Undesirable in a Man
There is a quality in a man that a girl wants and needs to avoid. Do not go with or be friends with a man who has anger issues. You will regret marrying a man who can not control his anger. He will get angry at you and he will get angry at your children. There will be tension in the household because no one will know when his next blow up will be or who will be the object of his anger. Anger can easily turn into wrath and then to rage. The world is full of angry people and they are people who you want to avoid. Anger is a symptom of even bigger issues and unless you want trouble and sorrow, then stay away from a man with anger and do not go with him and certainly do not marry him.
Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Proverbs 22:24
Anger is a response to not getting your way. People who want to control others will often do it through anger and anger can easily lead to abuse verbally and physically. A father can often see these qualities in another man. If you have a father that you can go to then have any man interested in you spend time with him. Kindness is who God is and if a man’s life is surrendered to the Lord then there is a much greater chance of him being a kind man. A kind man’s life will also be much smoother and therefore your life will have much less problems. A kind person receives favor from God and from others.
Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute.
In the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3,4