Expectations destroy relationships because no one can meet up to another’s expectations. Expectations destroy relationships because when there are expectations then that becomes the focus and all the other wonderful things that can come in a loving relationship are not seen because the eyes are set on a certain set of expectations. Expectations bring disappointment. However, there is One who says that He will never disappoint. There is no one else who can make that promise.
For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be disappointed.” Romans 10:11
The Lord is all loving and all powerful and He keeps His Word. When we believe in Jesus Christ then He promises us that we will not be disappointed. Our spouses, our parents and every other human will eventually disappoint us. When we look to the Lord rather than to a person to meet our needs then we will not be let down. The Lord has poured out His love on us and that is what gives us hope and hope in Him does not disappoint.
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
When our hearts are filled with love then we are like a sponge that is full but if our hearts are empty of love then we are vulnerable to mistake what we think is love and end up being hurt and more empty. Only Jesus Christ can fill our hearts so that we won’t mistake the bitter for the sweet.
But to a famished man any bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7
Love is the greatest gift and the one who finds it and keeps it enjoys life and they are able to give love and bring joy to others. Love must first be found in the Lord. God’s love never disappoints and His love never changes. God’s love is perfect and when we live in His love then we no longer live in fear of rejection or fear of being disappointed.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18a
If we cry out to the Lord then He will deliver us from what troubles us. We can trust in Him and in His love. We will not be disappointed.
To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed. Psalm 22:5
There is no one person who can meet all of our needs. Those who end up being hurt the most are those who put their hopes in another human being to meet their needs. When hopes and expectations are not met then unhappiness and ungratefulness follows along with the disappointment. When we are disappointed with someone then the cup is half empty rather than half full. We will see what that person can not give us. This is especially true in marriage. Your spouse will never provide all of the money, intimacy, time, etc. that you desire. We will not see our spouse as a blessing and a gift but we will see what we don’t have. Marriage can be the sweetest relationship on earth but if one of them is unhappy then it can be the most miserable existence on earth. A husband especially will struggle if he has an unhappy wife. The most beautiful face to a husband is a smiling wife.
Thus says the Lord,
“Cursed is the man who trusts in mankind
And makes flesh his strength,
And whose heart turns away from the Lord.
“For he will be like a bush in the desert
And will not see when prosperity comes,
But will live in stony wastes in the wilderness,
A land of salt without inhabitant. Jeremiah 17:5,6
People are humans and so there are sometimes false hopes in them that lead to unrealistic expectations, which will always leave us empty and disappointed. When we look to a person to fill the needs and longings that only God can fill then we will end up being very lonely and living in an emotional land of emptiness. We will not see the prosperity that only the Lord can give to us.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord
And whose trust is the Lord.
“For he will be like a tree planted by the water,
That extends its roots by a stream
And will not fear when the heat comes;
But its leaves will be green,
And it will not be anxious in a year of drought
Nor cease to yield fruit. Jeremiah 17:7,8
The one whose trust is in the Lord will see their spouse as a gift and will know that their spouse can never meet all of their expectations and all of their needs. Their cup of joy will overflow as they thank the Lord for their spouse and the gift of marriage. As they give thanks to the Lord for who He has given to them then they will see even more wonderful things in their spouse. Life will be sweet for them and for the one whom they are married to. They will be blessed and their spouse and children will be blessed. Blessed is the person who trusts in the Lord.