Tag: #love

A Married Life Overflowing with Love

Everyone who is married longs for there to be true love in the marriage. Love is the sweet fragrance of a great marriage and the if you have love in your marriage then it truly cuts your sorrows in half and doubles your joys. Without love then life and marriage is much harder and eventually can become bitter or lifeless. Love softens the blows that life sometimes brings that are out of our control. Love is the oil in relationships and without it relationships are a grind that can wear us down. Most marriages begin with good intentions but many do not know how to live out the desires and dreams that were there at the beginning.

I John 4:7,8 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is love and there is no love a part from God. We do not know love a part from the Lord and we can not love a part from the Lord Jesus Christ. There may be duty, obligation or even a selfish love a part from the Lord but there will never be an agape love which is an unselfish, unconditional love apart from Jesus Christ. God came to us through Jesus Christ to show us what true love is and how we can experience it and know it. You must have Christ in your life to love and to be loved. We are untrusting creatures and don’t even know how to receive or give love. When we come into an encounter with Jesus Christ and receive Him then we are loved just the way we are and we can learn to love others just the way they are.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

God loves us. Christ died for us when we did not love Him and had turned our back on Him. Jesus Christ loves us just the way we are with an unconditional, agape love. We are complete in Him and do not need the approval of others. He will always have our back and will never turn His back on us. He will never leave us or forsake us, even when it feels as though all others have and we are alone.

Hebrews 13:4,5 Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Make sure that your character is free from the love of money, being content with what you have; for He Himself has said, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you,”

We do not need to have the “boastful pride of man” nor do we need to fulfill the lusts of the flesh or the lusts of the eyes when we have Christ. He is our glory and He will never leave us. We do not have to ever be lonely again. Being lonely is not His will and He wants His people to have a home. He wants you to have a home.

Psalm 68:6 God makes a home for the lonely;
He leads out the prisoners into prosperity,
Only the rebellious dwell in a parched land.

Rebellion is simply wanting to go your own way. If you have gone your own way and you are lonely in your marriage then turn to the Lord with all of your heart. He will fill your loneliness and fill you with love for your marriage partner. He will teach you how to love His way.

Galatians 6:9,10 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

The word “good” means the “highest form of love”. The Lord will show you how to “do good” to your spouse. In due time you will reap if you do not grow weary. He will show you the opportunities to do good. The Lord will teach you.

A Life with Love Forgives

One of the greatest expressions of love is to forgive. Forgiveness, how sweet it is for the recipient when it is given and is the greatest gift that anyone can give to another. There is no greater expression of love in a relationship than forgiveness. We all need forgiveness. All of us have done wrong and brought grief to others. There is no limit to our need for forgiveness.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22

Jesus came to bring us forgiveness. We can not give to others what we have not received. When we receive Jesus Christ and His gift of salvation then we receive forgiveness of all of our sins.

To give to His people the knowledge of salvation
By the forgiveness of their sins, Luke 1:77

Jesus Christ went to the cross to forgive us of all of our sins. When we receive Jesus Christ we are forgiven of past, present and future sins. Forgiveness is a gift that God gives to us through Jesus Christ.

In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace Ephesians 1:7

For there to be love in a relationship then there must be forgiveness. To love someone is to forgive and to forgive is to love. Where there is forgiveness then there is love.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:22

Forgiveness is not easy but it is necessary. Forgiveness is not a feeling but a decision of the will. Forgiveness is not our will but God’s will. Even Jesus had to pray to do the Father’s will and asked the Father for His will to be done.

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39

When a person is forgiven their life is changed. When they realize the magnitude of their wrongdoings and they have been forgiven and the guilt has been taken away then their response is a response of love and gratitude. He who is forgiven little loves little but he who is forgiven much loves much.

For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.” Luke 7:47

There is not anything else that goes deeper into our souls than forgiveness. We all need forgiveness. When you give to someone the gift of forgiveness then you are loving them as Jesus Christ has loved you. Forgiveness is expressed in the promise “never to bring it up again”.

“For I will be merciful to their iniquities,
And I will remember their sins no more.” Hebrews 8:12

If God so loved us that He became the sacrifice for our sins so that we could be forgiven then we ought to love one another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Forgiveness is showing mercy to someone in need. The one who shows mercy does himself good. It is cruel not to forgive and show mercy to the one who needs it. God has shown all of us His mercy through Jesus Christ. The person who has been given mercy but withholds mercy does himself harm.

The merciful man does himself good,
But the cruel man does himself harm. Proverbs 11:17

Forgiveness is not only a gift that you give to someone else but it is a gift that you give to yourself. A person reaps what they sow. When you forgive others then your sins will be forgiven you.

For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. Matthew 6:14,15

The greatest marriages and families are made up of those who have learned to forgive. Forgiveness is the medicine that brings healing to our souls. Forgiveness in our relationships is a light that teaches others how to love. Forgiveness is the salt that melts the ice of hatred. Love is the most influential power and its greatest expression is forgiveness.

A Life with Love is Pure

Love is pure otherwise it is not really love. Since only God can purify our hearts we can only love with a pure heart if our heart is right with God. Our hearts are basically selfish and we want our own way. Selfishness and love can not dwell in a person at the same time.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:14-16

If you are still single then one of the kinds of people that you want to avoid are selfish people. They care about no one but themselves and your life will be difficult and miserable if you marry a selfish person.

But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self…Avoid such men as these. II Timothy 3:1,2a and 5b

If a person gives their life to Jesus Christ then the Lord comes and lives within them and loves through them. The love of Christ is pure and unselfish.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, Philippians 2:3-5

When someone becomes a Christian they become a new creation in Christ and the Lord gives them a new self. They are a new person and not who they were before.

But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Ephesians 4:20-24

When we become a Christian then we lay aside the old self with it’s selfish practices and put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him. God begins the process of restoring His image in us as He designed from the beginning. God’s image is one of a pure love.

Do not lie to one another, since you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him— Colossians 3:9,10

God’s love is a love that man can not know or experience apart from God. His love is a love that changes the person with whom it resides and a love that changes the people who see it and receives it through the person whom it resides in. God’s kind of love is a love that has no selfish ambition or personal agenda but regards the other person as more important and seeks the welfare of the one being loved.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. I Corinthians 13:4-7

There is nothing sweeter in all of human relationships than to love and be loved with God’s love through another person. God’s love is patient and kind. It does not seek its own and it is not jealous when the other person succeeds or receives honor. God’s love is not easily provoked and is patient. God’s love bears all things, believes the best in the one loved and endures hardships and hopes for the best for the other person when all hope seems gone. This is the kind of love that God has for you. It is a love that never dies and He longs for you to know this love. This love can only be found in Jesus Christ for He alone is pure and His love is perfect. God can and does give this kind of love to His people for them to love others.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

You will be blessed as you learn to long for the Lord. He longs to love you and show you His grace. He is waiting for all to come to Him. He came to us and waits for us to respond to Him. When you become weary then remember that there is One who will allow you to rest in His love and know His deep and abiding love that will never leave you.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The Lord will hold you in His arms and keep you safe and secure. His love is eternal and He never changes.

The eternal God is a dwelling place, And underneath are the everlasting arms; Deuteronomy 33:27a

A Life that Is Loving

There are three evidences that someone is a Christian. They are love for others, unity with Christians and holiness to God.

God is love and we love because He first loved us. To the degree that you can love others depends on the degree that you have experienced His love. He loves you intimately and unconditionally. His love is not based on how successful you are, how much you do for Him, how good you are, how bad you are or anything else about you. His love is all about Him. He loves everyone because He is love. The love of Christ for you cost Him His very life.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

The Lord came so that He might have a relationship with you. He wants you to belong to Him, which means, He wants you to “be longing” for Him. He longs to be gracious to you and to show His love to you and for you.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.

When Jesus came He gave a new commandment to His disciples and that is to love one another as He loved us.

John 13:34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.

How did He love us? By laying down His life for us.

John 15:13 Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

He calls to you through creation. He seeks you through His Spirit and He died for you and expressed His love for you through His Son, Jesus Christ. When you come to know Him then you come to know His love.

I John 4:8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

True love for God requires the heart and soul. All of it. The soul is made up of the mind, will and emotions. The heart is your innermost being.

Deuteronomy 10:12 …what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul,

By your love for others will people know if you are a Christian, for a Christian is one who has been born again as His child and has come into a personal knowledge of Him.

I John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.

If nothing can separate us from His love then why are we so fearful to love others? Why are we afraid to go out of our comfort zone?

Romans 8:37-39 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Has the Lord prompted you to do something for someone else? Don’t wait. It is the Lord who wants to bless you and bless that person. If you close your heart to that person in need then you are closing your heart to Christ. Even though the Lord loves you, you may not see His love for you as long as your heart is closed.

I John 3:17 But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?

He was rich but became poor that we might become rich. He did this that we might not indulge ourselves in His blessings or to hold on to the blessings but rather that we might become poor that others might know the riches of Christ.

II Corinthians 8:9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich.

If He cares for the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, then how much more does He care for you. Do not have little faith? Live with abandonment to self and fully to Christ. He Himself said that He would never leave you or forsake you.

Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

Matthew 6:30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

A Life with Love Must Have Truth

Love must have the truth. If there are lies then there is not love nor will there be love. Love and lies can not abide in the same person. Where there is love there must be truth.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me. John 14:6

God is love and God is truth. The only way that someone can have love in their life and know the truth is to have God in their life. No one can have God in their life apart from Jesus Christ for He is God’s only begotten Son and equal to God the Father. For this reason, no one can come to God, the Father, except through Jesus Christ, His Son.

Your word is truth. John 17:17b

You must know God’s Word to know the truth. When you know the truth then you will not be deceived and will be able to identify the lies and schemes of the devil. You also will not add to God’s Word for you will know what it says. Eve added to what the Lord had commanded them. He only said “not to eat of the tree of good and evil”. He did not say anything about touching the tree. Eve added those words to God’s words. The Lord gives us the grace to keep His Words but not the words that we add to His Words. He does not want us to add to what He has said.

The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” Genesis 3:2,3

We are to know the truth of God’s Word so that we can resist the devil, identify his lies and also so that we will not distort the Word of God to our own destruction.

in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.

II Peter 3:16b

If you want the life that the Lord intended for you and the marriage that He planned then you must know God’s Word. His Word is the blueprint and the instructions on how to experience God’s love and plan for your life. His Word will allow you to grow in the grace and knowledge of Him. Incline your ear to God’s Word rather than what the rest of the world is saying. Keep them in the midst of your heart and do not let them depart from your sight. God’s Words are life to those who find them and health not only to their bodies but to their relationships also.

My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your sight;
Keep them in the midst of your heart.
For they are life to those who find them
And health to all their body. Proverbs 4:20-22

How to Avoid The Life of a Failure

If you want to be miserable in life then just be a failure. Failure brings with it depression, discouragement, disappointment, defeat and despair. However, the choice is ours, if we want to be a failure or a success in life. No one else is responsible for whether we are a success or a failure. The choice is ours. You may think that circumstances would have something to do with it but not so, it is you who determines your success or failure in life. You have no one to blame but yourself.

Proverbs 29:23 A man’s pride will bring him low, But a humble spirit will obtain honor.

It is pride that goes before a fall. Pride is not needing God. Satan had all the best of circumstances. He was beautiful and experienced great wealth. He had many gifts and the highest position of all of the angels. Yet, he was not satisfied. He wanted to be equal to God. He wanted more than what the Lord had given to him. He was not satisfied and became prideful. It was his pride that led to his failure and he lost everything.

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.

Pride is the opposite of humility. When pride comes then comes dishonor. Dishonor goes hand and hand with failure. Those who are successful experience honor. Pride is basically saying, “I can do it on my own and that it is all about me”.

I John 2:16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

Humility acknowledges that we can do nothing apart from the Lord. Pride is not from the Lord but is from the devil. We are most like the devil when we are prideful.

John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

Pride says that it does not need the Lord. It is manifested by not turning to Him with all of our heart. It is also made known by us neglecting reading and meditating on His Word. When we don’t spend time in His Word then we are relying on ourselves and not on Him. We forget what He has to say and when we forget then we do not act on His Word.

Hosea 7:10 Though the pride of Israel testifies against him, Yet they have not returned to the Lord their God, Nor have they sought Him, for all this.

It is our pride that brings us low and leads to failure. It is the Lord who wants us to be successful and has shown us the way to succeed. There is no success apart from Him. However, you may say that you know people who are successful and who do not seek the Lord. If you will look closely at their successes you will see that they paid a heavy price and it was too great of a price for their temporary success. They lost something else even more precious than their success, whether it is a marriage, family, integrity or even their fellowship with the Lord. For it is the Lord alone who gives success with no sorrow with it.

Proverbs 10:22 It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich,
And He adds no sorrow to it.

Only the Lord can bless us richly in every area and He adds no sorrow to it. However, we must look to Him and follow His instructions on life. He leads us in the good way.

Jeremiah 6:16a Thus says the Lord, “Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, Where the good way is, and walk in it; And you will find rest for your souls.

The Lord wants us to look to Him and He will be our Shepherd and lead us in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. He will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. There are no regrets in following the Lord and obeying His voice. He will never disappoint you. Have you failed? Then it is to show you how desperately we all need the Lord and how desperately we need to know His Word so that we can do exactly as He says. Turn to Him with all your heart. He does promise success to the one who will trust Him and obey Him completely.

Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

He says it again what you need to do to be successful. You have nothing to lose, but your pride, and you have everything to gain.

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success.

A Life with Love Guards the Heart

Since love flows out of our hearts and is expressed through our actions towards another then the one who loves understands the great importance of guarding the heart. Same thing as “garbage in garbage out” except it is “love in love out”. What comes in is what will go out.

Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23

Since God is the source of love and His love is pure then our greatest need in life is to know Him and to experience His love moment by moment. If we will do this then out of our heart and life will flow the love of God.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

However, our hearts are deceitful and we will even deceive ourselves. When one is deceived they do not realize that they are deceived. That is the meaning of deception. Satan is a liar and seeks to deceive us through our hearts by making temptations seem so appealing just as he did with Eve.

The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

However, it is not until we have given into the temptation and fallen into the devil’s snares of death that we realize we have been trapped. Once we are trapped in the snares of death then we go into a downward spiral.

But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. James 1:14-16

A Christian has been made spiritually alive but his soul can still experience death through sinning. The death that he experiences is not any different from the death that the nonChristian experiences. The nonChristian lives in a perpetual state of death but the Christian can still experience death to the soul and that is through the guilt, regret, depression, etc.

For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. Colossians 3:25

It is not until we come to the Lord will we be cleansed of our sins. The nonChristian needs a total cleansing. When we come to Him for salvation then He cleanses our conscience through His Holy Spirit and His Word and purifies our hearts so that we can see Him again and experience His great love.

Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, I Peter 3:21

The Christian needs their conscience to be cleansed through confessing their sins for when they sin while they are the world.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9

IF we do not guard our hearts and keep a clear conscience then our view of God become distorted and we want to ultimately blame God for what is happening in our lives. We do not doubt His power but we doubt His love.

With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself twisted. Psalm 18:26

The Bible says that the way of the guilty is crooked.

The way of a guilty man is crooked,
But as for the pure, his conduct is upright. Proverbs 21:8

When we do not have a clear conscience and there is guilt in our heart then we start to see God as twisted and our actions will also become twisted towards those whom we should love. The one whom we should be loving starts not to understand our actions and their responses become different and then begins the downward spiral in the relationship.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. James 4:8

A double minded person does not have a pure heart. A double minded person is one who says to himself, “Should I do this or should I do that?” They go back and forth on what they should do. The double minded person will not receive help from the Lord until they confess their sin to the Lord and surrender their heart to Him and He cleanses it.

But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. I Timothy 1:5

The Lord wants us to pursue love with all people. However, we need to have a pure heart, a good conscience and a sincere heart. These are characteristics of the heart and must characterize our lives in all of our relationships. When we have these qualities then God’s love will fill our lives and hearts and will flow through us to others.

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19

We will see the Lord and will want to be like Him. We will be secure in our relationship with Him and will not be fearful of what other think of us. We will be able to consider others more important than ourselves. We will not feel the need to control others because we will be filled with the Lord and His love for others. It will be Jesus Christ who controls us.

For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf. II Corinthians 5:14,15

The outcome will be far greater than what anyone can imagine. The Lord can do far more than what we can ask or think when we guard our hearts, live by faith, keep His Word and allow Him to live through us according to His power which works in us.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20,21

A Life with Love as Life

As long as Adam kept the commandment of God then he would live and he would be able to experience love and give love. The moment that he would disobey God then he would die.

The Lord God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.” Genesis 2:16,17

When Adam disobeyed God and experienced death then he began to abide in death rather than to abide in life. When death abides then love also dies.

We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. I John 3:14

God is life and in Him is no death. He who has God has life and he who does not have God abides in death.

And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. I John 5:11,12

Apart from God we only exist and abide in death. God made us to be in a love relationship with Himself but He gave us the freedom to choose. We could choose to be in that relationship with Him and abide in life and His love or we could go our own way and abide in death. Love is a choice, a commitment, a gift and is life. When we choose God and commit our lives to Him then we receive the gift of love and life and we are able to give love and share life with someone else. When we choose to disobey God and go our own way then we abide in death and we are not able to experience life or God’s love. We exist in a lonely world with little meaning other than getting through to the next day. We may think we love but it is only a shadow of the real thing. Often it is a “I love you because…”. It may be duty or survival or even a mutual friendship love with someone else but once the duty or benefit to self is over then the love fades.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. I John 4:7

The conditional love that is in the world can not compare to the unconditional love that the Lord shows and gives to those who know Him. The source of God’s love is God Himself and when He comes to live within someone then He fills them with His love and it is His love that He gives to them to give to others. This is the kind of love that makes a marriage sweet and strong. Not only does this kind of love make a marriage strong but it is the only kind of love that can make a friendship or familial relationship sweet and strong. He who has this kind of love truly lives and is able to give love to others.

A Life with Love Has an Order

Where there is love there will also be order, harmony and peace. The opposite of order and peace is disorder or chaos. When the Lord designed marriages and families He had an order for everything so that the family would work in an orderly manner and so that there would be harmony and peace. It is important to understand God’s order for the family so that when it does get out of order everyone knows what and where they need to be to reestablish the peace and harmony. There is security in order. Those under authority and leadership need to feel loved and secure.

But all things must be done properly and in an orderly manner.

I Corinthians 14:40

God’s blueprint is for the husband to be the head of the family and Jesus Christ is the head of the husband. The wife is under the husband’s authority and the children are under both the mother and the father. This structure is not about worth but about order of authority and responsibility. The greater the authority then the greater the responsibility.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24

The church is the bride of Christ. The husband is to be the head of his bride as Christ is the head of the church. As the church is to trust and be subject to Christ, so also, the wife is to trust her husband and be subject to her husband. She is to do this as unto the Lord. The visual expression of her relationship with the Lord and her submission to the Lord is seen in her submission to her husband. She learns to trust her husband and submit to her husband through trusting the Lord and submitting to the Lord. Ultimately, it is the Lord she is trusting and submitting to.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25

The Lord has given the man the headship of the family but he also has the greater responsibility. He is to lead the way in love and through love and to be an expression of the sacrificial love of Christ.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. I Peter 3:7

Not only is the husband to love his wife with the same sacrificial love which God loves him but he is to live with her in an understanding manner. So much so is he to do this that if he does not then his prayers will be hindered.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. I Peter 3:1,2

If a husband is not doing as the Lord instructed him then the wife is to continue to respect his position and not say a word to him. She is not to be his conscience. A man fights with his conscience and if she wants fighting in the home then this is the easiest way to get it. If she wants her husband to become like Christ and love her with a Christlike love then she needs to do as the Lord has instructed her and not say anything to him. She is not responsible for her husband but she is responsible for her behavior. She is to be chaste and respectful.

Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. I Peter 3:3-6

A wife’s husband is her lord. This word “lord” is the same Greek word as the word “Lord” in Lord Jesus Christ. If Jesus is her Lord then her husband is to be her lord. This means that he is in authority over her and she is to submit to him and obey him. Sarah obeyed Abraham and considered him her lord. She did what he told her to do without allowing fear to control her.

Now there was a famine in the land; so Abram went down to Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was severe in the land. It came about when he came near to Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, “See now, I know that you are a beautiful woman; and when the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife’; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. Please say that you are my sister so that it may go well with me because of you, and that I may live on account of you.” It came about when Abram came into Egypt, the Egyptians saw that the woman was very beautiful. Pharaoh’s officials saw her and praised her to Pharaoh; and the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house. Therefore he treated Abram well for her sake; and gave him sheep and oxen and donkeys and male and female servants and female donkeys and camels. Genesis 12:10-16

Abraham was not doing what was right when he asked Sarah to say that she was his sister. However, Sarah was trusting in the Lord and the Lord did not allow any harm to come to Sarah. A wife’s trust is to be ultimately in the Lord. That is the only way that she can have that quiet and gentle spirit which is precious to the Lord.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. Ephesians 6:1

Children are to learn to obey their parents and honor their mother and father. Children learn how to do this through their parents. When a child sees their mother honoring their father then they learn to honor him also. In the same way, when a husband honors his wife then the children will also. A son’s glory is his father so if his mother is disrespectful of her husband then she is destroying her children’s glory. A child gets their self worth from their glory so she is also destroying their self worth. A person with a poor self worth will make poor choices in life so a mother who does not honor and respect her husband is bringing about her own children’s failures in life.

And the glory of sons is their fathers. Proverbs 17:6a

When a child gets his own way then he brings shame to his mother. A mother must teach her children to do what is right and not what they want to do.

The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother. Proverbs 29:15

Children need to be disciplined and they also need reproof, which is instruction on how to do what is right. A godly husband and father leads his family in the ways of the Lord and a godly mother teaches her children the ways of the Lord. As a result of God’s design for the family there will be respect, love, peace and harmony. They will also all dwell securely and joy and gladness will fill the home as a fragrant aroma.

“You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

A Life with Love Has a Destiny

People want love and most people know that they need love. If someone says that they don’t need love it is because they have been hurt and hurt brings fears of being hurt again. God did not make a person’s heart to be hurt or for anyone to be rejected. God made all of mankind to be loved and God has loved man from the beginning. God’s destiny all along has been for man to be in a love relationship with God and to be in a love relationship with others.

In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, Ephesians 1:4b,5

God’s destiny before He made man was for man to be in a love relationship with God. God made man for relationships, first with God and then with others. It was God’s destiny for every person that came from Adam to experience and know His love and to be able to express that love to others. When Adam and Eve sinned, God was grieved because the relationship was no longer the same. Man could not enjoy God because of His guilt. Adam and Eve’s guilt separated them from God. In a similar way, if you sin against someone else, then it is your guilt that keeps you from enjoying that other person. That person still may love you but the relationship is no longer the same until you confess your sin and receive forgiveness and are restored. Since Adam and Eve sinned every single person that was related to them received the same tendency to sin and receive guilt. The Lord needed to do something to remove the guilt so that man could be in relationship with God and enjoy the fellowship that was lost in the garden of Eden.

If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:8,9

All of us have sinned and experience guilt from our own sin. Our sin and our guilt keep us from experiencing God’s love.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23

God loves you. He did not come to judge us but came that we might be saved through Jesus Christ. When He comes again it will be to judge all who did not believe in Jesus and turn to Him.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him. He who believes in Him is not judged; he who does not believe has been judged already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. John 3:16,17

God’s wrath is poured out on the sinful actions that we do. When Christ comes again those who do not know Jesus Christ will be judged and will experience the wrath of God. Those who have believed in Christ will not be judged because Jesus Christ took their judgment and gave them eternal life.

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men Romans 1:18a

When man sins and does ungodliness and unrighteousness then man experiences God’s wrath through the consequences of the sinful actions which he chose to do. One aspect of the wrath of God that man experiences here on earth when he sins is the brokenness in the soul that feels the guilt, regret, fears and all the other consequences that we hate when we do wrong. It is this brokenness within us that causes us to realize our need for God and it is God’s love that draws us to Him. If we did not experience the consequences of sin then we could continue in our sin and never turn to the Lord. So, it is even in God’s wrath that we experience His kindness and mercy that leads us to Him.

Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, Romans 2:4,5

When someone continues to sin and does not repent and turn to God then that person stores up more wrath for themselves. Jesus Christ came to love man and to save man from experiencing God’s wrath, which all who are stubborn in their heart and do not believe in Jesus will one day receive. God did not destine man for wrath but for love. It is here on earth that we experience a taste of wrath and a taste of love but we must choose which one we want for all eternity. Without Christ we will experience God’s wrath forever but if we believe and trust in Christ then we will experience God’s love forever.

For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, I Thessalonians 5:9

He knows the separation and loneliness that sin brings. He understands the destruction and death that sin brings to a person and the brokenness in their souls and their relationships because of sin. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, so that we might be saved from the power, penalty and presence of sin and death. Your destiny is to be in a love relationship with God and to be His child and live forever in His love.

The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. II Peter 3:9