A man’s love for a woman is a gift. When a man is asking a woman to marry him then he is offering himself to her to love her and to husband her. The word “husband” is a nurturing and caring term. The husband is to care for, provide for, protect and love his wife for better or for worse in the good days and not so good days. He is giving himself to her for her well being and to do her good all the days of his life. Love is a gift that is given to another. It is the highest and best gift. To love someone is the greatest honor and no one is worthy of the gift of love from another.
Understand that a Woman Must Not Manipulate
A woman longs for the attention and love of a man and often she will be tempted to “take it into her hands” to get what she wants. If she manipulates to get what she wants then she is only cheating herself of a gift of love. She will never know “for sure” if the man she “caught” is the man that the Lord wanted to give her. The Lord wants to give her to the man and when she manipulates then she will not have the assurance that the Lord brought her to her husband. When Adam needed a wife, the Lord brought her to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam. The Lord still wants to give a wife to a man. It is crucial to know for sure that the Lord is the One who brought two people together because there will always be trying days in any marriage and there is great comfort in knowing that what God has joined together that He will keep together if they look to Him.
What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. Mark 10:9
A wife is a favor that the Lord gives to a man. She is his greatest treasure and when he receives his wife he is receiving a gift from the Lord. The Lord is perfect in all His ways and you will be forever grateful to the Lord if you trust Him to bring you and your mate together. If you manipulate in a relationship, then later on you will be tempted to doubt and may wonder if you did not bring it about, rather than trust the Lord. Manipulation is selfish and deceitful and is not pleasing to the Lord. Manipulation is not living by faith and trusting the Lord. Trust Him and you will not be disappointed. The Lord is good. He wants a wife to be a gift to the man. Let your husband find you.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
Understanding that a Husband Wants to Be Wanted
When Adam saw Eve he was ecstatic. He wanted her and he wanted her to be his alone. When a man gets married to the girl he loves he thinks, “she is mine”. A man thinks that when a girl marries him that she wants him. It is devastating to a man to feel rejected. A man wants his wife to desire him and not just love him the way she wants to be loved. A wife longs to “feel” loved and the words “I love you” are important to her and in a similar way, the words “I want you” are what a husband longs to hear. Just as a wife does not just want to “hear” those words, “I love you” but she wants to “see” that love also, in the same way a husband wants to “see” that his wife wants him. He married his wife because he thought that she wanted him.
so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, Titus 2:4a
Understand How to Want Your Husband
Understand that what is right before marriage is wrong after marriage. It is right to withhold the physical intimacy before marriage and a man needs for the woman that he loves to have a high standard morally before marriage. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for so it is good for his girlfriend/fiance to help keep the relationship where it needs to be. However, after marriage it is wrong for the wife to withhold physical intimacy from her husband. If he is sensitive to her then he will be patient when she is not feeling well and he also needs to restrain himself during her time of month. However, his desire is usually very much greater than her desire for the physical and he needs for her to want him and not reject his affections toward her. She will be much happier if she satisfies him when she is more agreeable and this will keep him fulfilled in the area of the physical. Most men are agreeable anytime so this is not hard for the wife to do. The Bible teaches that the older women are to teach the younger women to “love” their husbands. The word love in this verse in the original means that she is to be a “lover of her husband” or in other words, in the original it means that she is to want him and delight in him.
Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.
As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19
Understand that a husband needs physical intimacy and God’s provision for a man is his wife. You married your husband and he believed that you wanted him when you married him. He needs you. There is not another woman in the world that can do what you can do for your husband. It may be sex with another woman but it is meant to be so much more with a man’s wife. It is the cherry on top and icing on the cake, so to speak. It is becoming one with another and it is the fullest expression of love. When you satisfy your husband you will also diminish the temptation of the adulteress woman who has her eye on your husband. There are many women who are looking for the vulnerable man and you don’t want that man to be your husband. Let him have something to look forward to when he comes home and when you are together. You will find that as you fulfill your role as a wife that you will be blessed. When a man is satisfied and fulfilled by the woman he loves there is not anything that he will not do to make her happy. He loves her and her joy becomes his joy.
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5
Broken relationships can cause people to be broken. The Lord never intended that there would ever be divorce, remarriage, unfaithfulness and everything else that causes pain to others and especially to children. When divorce happens it brings grief to the children. The Lord says that He hates divorce because of what it does to the children. However, unless there is healing then the chances are slim that a child of divorce will have a happy marriage. Wounds and hurts happen but there is hope and there can be healing. It is important that as much as possible each person goes into the marriage whole and healthy emotionally. The Lord can and wants to heal but a person with internal hurts must go to the Lord for healing. He understands each person better than anyone else and His name Jehovah-Rapha means “The God who Heals”. You will not hurt forever if you are healed. There will be a scar but you will know when you are healed because when something or someone touches where the wound was then you do not feel the pain, just as if you were to have a wound on your body that has healed. The scar is there but not the pain when the wound has healed. Not only does the Lord heal but He also can break the cycle of sin for the person who turns to Him. The Lord is real and His kindness is a realty to those who look to Him. Not only does He heal and break the cycle but He says that He can restore the “years that the locusts have eaten”. In other words, He can restore what was destroyed. Only God can do this and man can not fix our messes. When man tries to fix messes then he only makes a bigger mess. The Lord makes all things right and He alone teaches us the right way to live and love so that we do not bring on ourselves more pain or give to our children the same sort of grief as we experienced.
“Yield now and be at peace with Him;
Thereby good will come to you.
“Please receive instruction from His mouth
And establish His words in your heart.
“If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored;
If you remove unrighteousness far from your tent,
And place your gold in the dust,
And the gold of Ophir among the stones of the brooks,
Then the Almighty will be your gold
And choice silver to you.
“For then you will delight in the Almighty
And lift up your face to God.
“You will pray to Him, and He will hear you;
And you will pay your vows. Job 22:21-27
Understanding Healing and Restoration
Yahweh El Ashiyb is the name of God that means “The Lord My Restorer”. Healing and restoration comes when we yield ourselves completely to Him. Good will come to us when we receive His instruction and establish His Words in our heart. If we return to Him then we will be restored. Repentance means turning from our sinful ways and whatever our idols were and turning to the Lord. (We often turn to other means for comfort rather than the Lord and whereby they do not help us but they ensnare us…and they can also become idols that we do not want to let go.) He will become more precious to us than anything we desired before because we will see Him and we will experience His mercy and His peace. He will hear our prayers and we will keep our vows. You will know much joy and gladness when you are restored. Sorrow and sadness will leave along with regret and depression.He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3 Everyone needs healing at some time in their lives. When you give your life to the Lord and He becomes your Lord and Savior then you will never walk alone again. He will go with you through your sorrow. He will comfort you in your pain and He will restore you. There is no situation greater than the Lord. Nothing is too difficult for Him. He is able to save and He is able to restore. He loves you. And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 Your past does not have to define you nor does your present pain have to determine your future happiness.