A Life Under His Wings

Every young lady wants her dreams to come true, to become the person that she longs to be,to live life to the fullest and to feel safe and secure. So how do you run the race of life…so that you can be free of guilt, free of regrets, free of bondage, free of bitterness, free of depression, free of envy,  free of self pity and live the abundant life, that is, life to the fullest? Is it possible? Yes, it is very much possible and is a gift that has been promised to us. The first step needs to be taken before you will ever know life to the fullest. You need to receive the One who gives this life so that you can live securely under His love, care and protection.

Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge. His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.”

You alone will either experience this life with great joy and gladness or your life will have the greatest of heartaches and sorrow. Wisdom is making the right choices so that you can have the desired outcome.

Proverbs 9:12 If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone bear it.

Wisdom is the right application of knowledge and scoffing is turning your back on knowledge. Joy and gladness is the outcome of making the right choice and heartache and sorrow comes from making the wrong decisions in life. If you act wisely then you will be glad but if you scoff you will regret it. He came that you might have life and live it to the fullest.

John 10:10 I came that they may have life and may have it abundantly.

The wisest decision you can ever make is to give your heart completely to the One who made it and knows you better than anyone else ever will and who loves you perfectly. Not only does He love you but He is looking for people that He may strongly support. The opposite of choosing to give your heart to Him is to act foolishly and feel like you know what is best for your life. If, you do not choose Him then you will have drama and friction with others. It usually begins in your family with those whom you love the most and who love you.

II Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. You have acted foolish in this. Indeed, from now on you will surely have wars.

His love is the only perfect love.

I John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

You can trust Him completely because He loves you perfectly. When you give your heart to Him, He takes all of your fears and He also took your punishment for everything you have ever done so you do not need to fear giving your heart to Him. When you give your heart to Him, you also give your sins, your guilt, your failures, your regrets, your longings, your hopes and your dreams. He takes the punishment that you deserve and gives you a life that you do not deserve. It is a gift from Him to all who will trust Him completely. You must receive the gift of becoming His child, a child of God.

John 1:12,13 “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name; who were born not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.”

Receiving Jesus Christ to be your Lord and Savior means that God, the Father becomes your Heavenly Father and He gives you His Spirit. He also calls you His Friend and He says that He will never leave you nor forsake you. Receiving Him means that you are asking Him to rule in your life and that you will follow Him. He who made you will only lead you in a way that is good for you. He is good and loved you perfectly. He says that those who follow Him will hear His voice because He also becomes their “Good Shepherd”, who laid down His life for them. This is the first step to knowing Him, to seeing Him and to hearing Him.

A Life that Understands What Destroys a Relationship

Understanding What Must “Never” be Done in any Relationship

There is only one command that the Lord says never to do. This is especially true in marriage where the temptation is great to do what the Lord has told us never to do. If we will follow the Lord’s instructions in marriage then we will be happy, our spouse will be happy and we will have a very successful marriage.

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Romans 12:17a

To pay back evil to someone is the same as taking revenge. The Lord says to never take your own revenge or return evil for evil. Evil means to cause grief. It is the natural response to “if they are going to do something to me then I will do something to them”, or in other words, if someone causes us grief then we don’t want to be nice to them. It is very tempting to say something or even to have an attitude even if nothing is said. It is very destructive when a wife closes off her spirit. She may think that she can continue to do what she should do but it communicates a double message. A marriage is a union of spirit, soul and body. When a wife closes off her spirit then there is no longer a oneness of spirit. It is only a matter of time before there will no longer be a oneness of soul and body. When this happens then the needs that are fulfilled in marriage are no longer being met and each partner becomes vulnerable to outside temptations. With temptations will also come doubts. With doubts come instability in the marriage and unless this trend is reversed then the marriage can easily be damaged or destroyed. It is much harder to fix a problem than to prevent a problem and this problem could have been easily prevented in the beginning when there was a small amount of hurt.

Listen to counsel and accept discipline, That you may be wise the rest of your days. Proverbs 19:20

A wonderful aspect of God’s ways is that even if you have not listened earlier in life, then you can listen today and accept the discipline of the Lord so that you may be wise the rest of your days. If you will listen to the Lord and follow Him by doing exactly as He says then you can be wise the rest of your days and experienced the sweet fruit of wisdom, which is peace and happiness. You alone will experience either the greatest happiness or the greatest pain of the choices you make. Others will suffer also, but not to the degree that you will, for God gives much grace to those who suffer from the consequences from the bad choices of others.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

To scoff means to turn your back on what another says. When someone scoffs at God then they are turning their back on what God says. God’s word is wisdom and when we do not listen to and do what God says then we are scoffing at what He says. If we listen and do what God says then we will be wise. Whether we agree with what God says does not change the truth of what He says. God’s word is truth and we will be wise when we live according to His truth.

Wisdom rests in the heart of one who has understanding, But in the hearts of fools it is made known. Proverbs 14:33

The Bible says that an understanding person is one who knows God and does what He says. Wisdom and understanding go together. If you want wisdom and understanding then seek the Lord and soon wisdom will rest in your heart and you will love life. If you choose to not know God or do what He says then you will feel the pain of not doing wisdom in your heart. You will realize too late that you did not make the right decision because you will feel it in your heart. However, it will not be the good feeling of when you have made a right decision but it will be the feeling of regret and shame.

Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool, And so is wisdom to a man of understanding. Proverbs 10:23

Just like in any sport, the better you get, the more you enjoy it, so it is with wisdom. The more you do wisdom in life then the more you enjoy life. Not only will you enjoy life but you will enjoy your marriage, you children and all of life. The Lord says to never return evil for evil. This is the only time He uses the word “never” in the imperative form.

Understand What We are to Do When Someone Hurts Us

The Lord tells us to give a blessing instead of returning grief. This is truly Godlike and only can be done by God’s grace. This is how the Lord is with us and He wants us to be this way with others. So much so, that if we will give a blessing, then we will inherit a blessing.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing. For,

“The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
“He must turn away from evil and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.
“For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer,
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” I Peter 3:8-12

Do you want to really live life to the fullest? Do you want your marriage to be blessed? Do you want to be happy and have good days? Then keep your tongue from causing grief and be honest in what you say. Let love and truth characterize your life. Turn away from doing evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. Then the Lord will hear and answer your prayers and His favor will be towards you.

Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. I Peter 3:13,14a

If we do what is right then the Lord will bless us. We will be like our heavenly Father, who does good to all men and women.

A Life that Soars through Life

We can either trudge through life or we can soar like an eagle. If we walk through life then we will be like the duck and our view will be very narrow or we can fly like the eagle and see great things.

Isaiah 40:31 Yet those who wait for the Lord
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

When you wait for the Lord then you will gain new strength and mount up with wings like the eagle. You will not get tired or weary but will find new strength that only the Lord can give.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

When you wait for the Lord then your will find not only new strength but you will receive courage.

Isaiah 25:9 And it will be said in that day:
“Behold, this is our God;
We have waited for Him, and He will save us.
This is the Lord;
We have waited for Him;
We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.”

You will soar in life when you wait for the Lord. You will see His salvation and you will be glad and you will rejoice in Him.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord will wait, that He may be gracious to you;
And therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
Blessed are all those who wait for Him.

Those who learn to wait on the Lord will be blessed. The word blessed means to be made happy.

Lamentations 3:25,26 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.

You will see the goodness of the Lord. Learn to wait patiently for His salvation and do not take matters into your own hands. He is fully aware of all situations. Wait for Him.

Philippians 3:20,21 For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

Finally, we know that we can wait for Him if we belong to Him because our citizenship is in heaven and He will come again one day for those who are eagerly waiting for Him. We will be like Him. Wait for Him and let your hope be in Him.

I John 3:2,3 Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.

 

 

 

 

A Life that Understands What Causes a Marriage to Fail

Understand The Causes of Marriage Failure

Marriages don’t just randomly succeed or fail. There are reasons for marriages failing and the reasons are not as complicated as one thinks. Marriage is a life of two people who become united before God. The same reasons why people fail in life are the same reasons why marriages fail. Life is a matter of reaping and sowing. A person will reap what they sow, whether it is good seeds or bad seeds. Just like a field…if good seeds are sown then good fruit will come up but if the seeds of weeds are sown then weeds will come up. Also, if a field is not tended then the weeds that inadvertently fall into it will also spring up and choke the good fruit bearing plants. A marriage reaps the seeds that were sown before marriage. If a couple is immoral before marriage and become physically intimate then the bad fruit of those seeds sown through their actions will be a lack of trust in the relationship and will lead to a lack of love. A wife should not be surprised if her husband is unfaithful to her if she married an immoral man and in the same way a man should not be surprised if his wife is unfaithful if he married an immoral woman. There is a much less likely chance of unfaithfulness in a marriage if both people were morally faithful before marriage. Also, if the woman initiated or manipulated to “get” her husband then she will have doubts if he is the “right one” after marriage. Becoming one in marriage is not easy because it is the dying of each of the two that they might become one in life. There is much give and take and “not getting you own way” in marriage. If there is jealousy and strife in the relationship then marriage becomes far more difficult. Whatever a couple has done in private before marriage will show itself later on in the marriage. In many ways, the time before marriage determines the joys and struggles after marriage. Much more time needs to be put into the preparation of and decisions about marriage before the couple even meet. Marriage is a gift and a work that brings great joy and satisfaction when done right but will also bring much sorrow and grief if done wrong. How much easier it is to prevent a problem than to fix a problem. Building a marriage is similar to building a house and far more important.

Prepare your work outside And make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house. Proverbs 24:27

Understand What Is Needed to Prevent a Marriage from Failure

No one goes to the altar with the desire that their marriage will fail. Many books are written on “how to have a successful marriage”. There are two things that a person basically needs to have a successful marriage and to keep a marriage from failing. Those two things are wisdom and prudence. Wisdom is how to succeed and prudence is the flip side of wisdom, in the sense, that prudence tells you what you need to do to prevent failure. Every girl should be desperate to get wisdom and prudence. Prudence will keep her from pain and wisdom will tell her what she needs to do to get out of pain and stay out of pain. Many a girl has had her heart broken simply because she did not have wisdom and prudence. Wisdom will let a girl know what kind of man to marry and prudence will tell her what kind of man to avoid. Wisdom will tell her what a man needs and prudence will keep her from doing the things that a man hates. Yes, there are certain qualities that a woman can have that will drive a man far from her and will cause him to not want to come home to her. If she has wisdom then often he will eagerly look forward to seeing her and coming home. Wisdom and prudence are available to any who will seek God. God is wisdom and prudence also dwells with Him.

I, wisdom, dwell with prudence,
And I find knowledge and discretion. Proverbs 8:12

I love those who love me;
And those who diligently seek me will find me. Proverbs 8:17

Ask God for wisdom. He says that He will give to all who ask Him and He will give wisdom generously and without reproach. That means that He wants to show you the best way and He will not reprove you for not coming to Him earlier. He is waiting for all of us to come to Him for wisdom. Every person in the world needs God’s wisdom and He is more than willing to share it. The Lord wants you to succeed in love and in every area of life. It does not matter how big of a mess you have ever gotten into but that He will show you what you need to do to get out of the mess and get into success.

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

A Life with a New Heart

The greatest miracle in the world is when the Lord gives someone a new heart. Not only does He give someone a new heart but He puts a new spirit within them. He removes the heart of stone which we all have in us that causes us to be self centered and to care for ourselves above all others. Our old heart becomes more and more hardened and we do not even feel the pain that we cause to others. We say ugly words with no thought of the broken hearts and hurt feelings of our parents, friends, spouses, acquaintances and those who serve us in the work places of life. Sometimes we don’t say or do anything but our sins are acts of omission when we could have done something to relieve the suffering of someone else but we were so consumed with our own lives we never really noticed. Our thoughtlessness can be as damaging when we may be the only person in a position to help someone else in need.

Ezekiel 36:26 Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

When we become born again then He puts His Spirit within us and makes us a new person. He gives us a new heart and a new spirit and He comes to live within us and lives through us. He opens our eyes and our ears. He becomes our God and our Lord. He causes us to walk in His ways and observe His ordinances and when we do that then we will love the Lord and our neighbor as we should.

Ezekiel 36:27,28 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances. You will live in the land that I gave to your forefathers; so you will be My people, and I will be your God.

He will cleanse us from our sins and forgive us from everything wrong that we have done. His forgiveness is complete and includes all of our sins: past, present and future. He forgives us of our acts of omission as well as our actions that we have done against Him and others.

Ezekiel 36:29a Moreover, I will save you from all your uncleanness;

He will bless us and multiply our resources. He will keep famine away. He will multiply the fruit of our labor.

Ezekiel 36:29b-30a and I will call for the grain and multiply it, and I will not bring a famine on you. I will multiply the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field,

He will remove our disgrace among others and take away our shame.

Ezekiel 36:30b so that you will not receive again the disgrace of famine among the nations.

The evidence of a new heart is that when we remember our evil ways and deeds that were not good then we will hate what we have done. If it were not for His great love for us then we would also hate ourselves for what we have done. Our heart of flesh will feel the pain and grief that we have caused others.

Ezekiel 36:31 Then you will remember your evil ways and your deeds that were not good, and you will loathe yourselves in your own sight for your iniquities and your abominations.

The incredible good news is that we are forgiven and made right with God through Jesus Christ and His work on the cross. We can now commune with Him and hear His voice. We can see His great love and feel it as well. We can love others with a pure heart and feel their pains and griefs. We have compassion on others because of His great compassion on us. This is how you know that you have a new heart and that His Spirit lives with you. You are a new person and the old things have passed away. New things have come.

II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

A Life that Understands What Allows a Marriage to Succeed

Marriage is not easy but it is very much worth overcoming any obstacles in order to succeed. Marriage is the blending of two lives into one and for a marriage to succeed it must have the blessing of God. The word “blessed” means “happy” and it also means having “the favor of God”. Everyone wants to be happy and when someone is happy in their marriage then they are considered blessed. The Lord tells us in His Word how to be blessed by God. His blessing is available to every person on earth.

in every place where I cause My name to be remembered, I will come to you and bless you. Exodus 20:24b

The Lord says that in every place where His name is remembered that He will come to those where His name is remembered and bless them. If you want your marriage to succeed then the Lord must be central in your marriage. For the Lord to be the center of your marriage then He must be the center of your life. For the Lord to be the center of your life then He must be the Lord of your life.

How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the Lord his God, Psalm 146:5

The word God is a reference to the Lord being a person’s Savior. When the Lord is Lord in a person’s life then He will also be their Savior and He will save them from whatever trouble that they are in. The Lord hears those who call on Him to be their Lord and their Master. He will save you and will save your marriage.

But I, O Lord, have cried out to You for help, And in the morning my prayer comes before You. Psalm 88:13

Ask the Lord for help every morning. When a person cries out to the Lord in prayer every morning then they are remembering Him every day. Call upon the Lord and He will help you. He will help you in your life and He will help you in your marriage. He will show you His ways and teach you how to live according to His ways.

Help me, O Lord my God; Save me according to Your lovingkindness. Psalm 109:26

The Lord will help you and He will save you according to His lovingkindness. The Lord loves you and He wants you to succeed in life and He wants to bless your marriage and cause it to be successful. The Lord is good and He longs to be gracious to you.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

Learn to long for the Lord. The Lord longs to bless you and He is waiting for you to come to Him. The Lord is gracious and compassionate.

Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul. Psalm 54:4

When you look to the Lord and call on Him then He will come to you and bless you. You will see His love and kindness and you will love the Lord more and more. You will want to give thanks to Him and bless His name.

For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings I sing for joy. Psalm 63:7

The Christian life is sweet and there is great joy in seeing the Lord’s love and faithfulness. When a person comes to Him and gives their life to Him then He makes Himself known to them. He becomes their Lord and their Savior. His love is perfect and there is no fear in trusting Him to be the center and Lord of your life. He truly becomes your Good Shepherd and He will guide and lead you through the storms and trials of life and you will see His favor shine on you and your marriage. You will see how perfect His love is for you. Those who look to Him will truly see His help and His faithfulness and He will be their hope and their salvation. When a person calls on Him and puts their trust in Him then they are blessed and they want to bless the Lord.

Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. Psalm 103:1-5

The Lord will crown your life and marriage with love and compassion. He will satisfy the years of your life and marriage with good things. The Lord is good and blessed are all those whose help and hope is in Him.

A Life that Knows the Truth

If you want to be free in life then you must know the truth. There are so many lies that can deceive and that many people believe that are very destructive. Unless you can sift through what you hear and see then you also will be led astray. There is a way which seems right but its end is death.

Proverbs 16:25 There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.

If you know the truth then the truth will be like a sieve through which all knowledge should flow. What is true and pure will pass through but the truth will sort out the junk. The Bible is the truth but unless the truth is on you then you are at the mercy of someone else. Rather than waiting to hear something and then trying to figure it out, if you will only put the truth within your heart then you will immediately be able to discern what is true and what is false. It is foolish to think that you can discern the truth on your own.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man is he who listens to counsel.

Let God’s Word be your counsel and then you will be led in the right way. Your life will be pleasant. You will not be following man but God.

Psalm 119:24 Your testimonies also are my delight;
They are my counselors.

As you put God’s Word within you heart and you do it then not only will you gain in discernment but you will receive understanding.

Psalm 111:10 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;
A good understanding have all those who do His commandments;
His praise endures forever.

Putting God’s Word in your heart will help you not err in your judgments nor in your actions.

Psalm 119:11 Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.

Many a person has made a wrong decision and then want to blame someone else but you are to blame if you did not seek out God’s counsel before your decision was made. Oftentimes spiritual leaders will teach application of principles found in God’s Word and rather than learn the truth of the principle a lot of people will just do what the leader says to do. Seek out the truth in God’s Word yourself. Understand the truth behind the principle and application. Do not depend on other Christians for your understanding of the Bible. The Lord has given you the Holy Spirit who will lead you into the understanding of the truth. Learn to listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

John 16:13 But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth; for He will not speak on His own initiative, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will disclose to you what is to come.

Finally, be obedient to the truth that the Lord gives you. He will give you greater understanding the more you obey Him. Do exactly what He says and you will be free.

John 8:31,32 So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, “If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.”

 

A Life that Understands the Power of Your Words

Understanding the Power of the Words You Speak

It is crucial that a young lady learns the power of her words. Her words will either build up and encourage her husband or they will destroy him. A man needs his wife’s affirmation, encouragement, words of comfort, words of praise and kindness through the words that she speaks to him. A man will become what his wife says about him. If she builds him up then he will be built up and if she tears him down then he will feel torn down and defeated. Her confidence in what God is doing in and with him and believing in him will make a difference in his confidence in what God is doing in and with him and the confidence that he needs as he goes out into the world. A man’s wife should be and needs to be his biggest cheerleader. She needs to believe in him when he does not even believe in himself and when he feels that no one else believes in him. The Lord said that she is to be his savoir. Not a Savoir like the Lord Jesus Christ but a savoir for him when he is discouraged and down. She needs to point him to the One and only Savoir and the only way that she can do this is if she, herself, is looking to Jesus Christ to be her Savoir.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18

Understanding What It Means to Help Your Man through Your Words

The word “helper” in this verse literally means savoir. This is the only time that it is used in reference for a person. Every other time that it is mentioned in the Bible it is in reference to God. One of the ways that God saves us is through His Word. The Bible says that “He sent His Word and saved them”. In the same way, the words of a wife to her husband can make such a difference in his life that they will save him from great discouragement and despair. Her words will keep him from depression and from being dismayed. Her words have the power to life him up, to keep him from doing something wrong and from making a bad decision. Her words will motivate him to higher goals and make him want to be the man that her words tell him that he is. He will become what she says to him. Her words will make her husband a better man or her words will, in the same way, destroy her husband. Her words can keep him from stepping out in faith and her words can make him feel worthless. Her words can literally take the life out of him and take away his desire to live.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21

Understand that the hardest thing in the world is to control your tongue. The Bible even says that no one can control the tongue. However, you can control what you listen to and what you listen to and what goes into your heart is what will determine the words that come out of your mouth. Do not allow yourself to be with women who talk negatively about men or their husbands, if they are married. Make friends with women who have a healthy view of marriage and men. Have an older married woman who is wise, in your life who you can go to, should you find yourself struggling in your marriage. You must learn to see your husband through God’s eyes. Don’t ever compare your husband to your father. Your father was young and immature at one time and it takes a lifetime to become the person that God designed us to be. A young man is like a young woman and he is still maturing just as a young woman is still maturing. In fact, don’t focus on your husband, rather concentrate on you becoming the woman and wife that you need to be and that is a wife who builds her husband up. Your husband needs you to be that faithful believer in what the Lord is doing in his life. He needs your words of love, your comfort and your encouraging words. He needs your respect and there is no greater way to communicate respect than in the way you talk to him and in what you say to him. He needs you to be a blessing to him.

By the blessing of the upright a city is exalted,
But by the mouth of the wicked it is torn down. Proverbs 11:11

A Life that Gives and Receives Kindness

Kindness is the sweet oil and fragrant perfume of life. There is no joy to life without kindness and of all desirable qualities in a spouse that one would want it is kindness. Marry a kind person and you will be blessed your entire married life. Marry a cruel person and there will be no end to your misery.

Proverbs 19:22a What is desirable in a man is his kindness,

Kindness is what is desirable in a man. A cruel man will only receive harm and that harm will affect everyone in his life.

Proverbs 11:17 The merciful man does himself good, But the cruel man does himself harm.

How can you tell if a man is cruel? Women are easily deceived and unless we have a man in our life, which should be a father, to tell us the truth we can be led astray by the wooing of a cruel man. We will not see the truth until it is too late. There is another quality that describes the cruel man and that is, he is a rebellious man.

Proverbs 17:11 A rebellious man seeks only evil, So a cruel messenger will be sent against him.

If you want abuse and cruelty then a rebellious man will give that to you. If you want to have a sweet life and a blessed marriage then marry a man who has surrendered his life to the Lord. The Lord is kind and those who walk with Him learn and become kind. Kindness comes to those who are kind.

Proverbs 18:25a With the kind You show Yourself kind;

Look at how a young man treats his mother and his sisters to see what his true character is. In the same way, if you want to be blessed in life then learn to be kind to others. Kindness is not random but it is purposeful. We have to learn to do good. The Lord will help us. It is the responsibility of a mother to teach her children to be kind but if you did not have a godly mother then the Lord will show you and teach you.

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Love kindness and you will be like the Lord and doing what He requires of you.

Mich 6:8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?

Do kindness and you will have the favor of God and man.

Proverbs 3:3,4 Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute
In the sight of God and man.

Be filled with the Lord and His Spirit will show kindness through you.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

Don’t grow weary. Be faithful. The Lord will be with you.

Galatians 6:7-10 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

A Life that Understands When to Make a Commitment to Love

Understand the Timing of When the Woman Makes a Commitment to the Man

Timing is very important in love relationships. In all love relationships there needs to be an initiator and a responder. Just as in our relationship with the Lord. The Lord is the One who is the initiator and we are the responder. We respond to His love and His choosing to love us. In the same way, the man is the initiator and the woman is the responder. The man must take responsibility for the relationship and therefor the woman must wait for the man. If the man only initiates to a certain level then that is where the relationship remains. If the man only wants a friendship and you want more then do not try to make the relationship into something that it is not. A man does just what he wants to do. If he wants a commitment relationship then he will pursue one. If a man wants to marry a girl then he will pursue her. The man is the one who asks the girl out for a date and he is the one who pays for the date. Do not pay. If he can not afford an expensive restaurant then let him take you to one that is not so expensive. Money does not make love and if it is important to you to go to expensive places and he can not afford it nor want it then you need to move on and he also needs to pursue someone else. Do not pay for the dinner. A man will get the money for what he wants and needs. A man appreciates what he works for so do not “give” to him. The man is to be the lover and the one who takes responsibility for where he takes you, when he takes you and how much it cost. He does not need your help. This is important to understand because one of the lies in the world is that the woman should spend her money also on the man. Absolutely not. If he gives you a Christmas present then yes, you can give him one if you would like, but do not spend more money on him than he has on you. Do not tell a man that you love him until he has asked you to marry him. Love is a commitment and he should not be telling a woman that he loves her until he is ready to commit his life to her. Do not be physically intimate with a man until after marriage. Many a man will stay engaged forever to get what he wants but never take the step of marriage. A man makes the commitment to marry, he asks the woman to marry him and then he plans and pays for the honeymoon. He also is the provider for the family. There is no problem with the wife working if it is agreed but even then, it is best to live off of the husband’s income. This creates gratitude in the wife and a oneness in the marriage. When a man gets married then he must be ready to give up everything for his wife and then after marriage the wife is to give up everything for her husband, but not before marriage.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25

Understand What is Wise and What is Foolish

Understand that a wife is a gift to a man and most men want to get married. Most men are looking for the “right” one and want a wife. However, men understand that marriage is a responsibility and men will sometimes put off responsibilities as long as they can. If they can get what they want without the responsibility then they will often not take the responsibility at all (“If the milk is free, why buy the cow?”) or if a woman will assume the responsibility in a relationship then many men will let her and will never take any more of the responsibility. He may stay with her in this dysfunctional relationship forever, even with her waiting for him to initiate, or until he gets tired of her. Meanwhile, she keeps hoping, initiating and spending her money on him and missing other opportunities with better men, who think that she is already in a relationship. A woman is foolish to give herself physically to a man before marriage or to spend her money on dates with him or gifts for him.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:28-32

Men love their own bodies and when a man loves a woman then he will commit himself to taking care of her as he takes care of himself. A man also will guard his investments. Let him invest in you rather than you investing in him. His heart will follow where he puts his treasure. A man appreciates what he works for and what he waits for. Don’t be in a hurry. Put your trust in the Lord and let the Lord choose your spouse. He will make a much better choice than you can make. As you wait for the man the Lord has for you then you will be waiting on Him and you will know when the Lord brings him along because your future husband will love you more than you will love him. Just as the Lord loves us more than we love Him and our love for Him is a response to His love for us. We love Him because He loves us.

For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him. Isaiah 64:4