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A Life that Understands What Is Desirable in a Man

What is emphasized as desirable in a man before marriage is of much less worth after marriage. After you get married you hardly notice a man’s looks but it shouts at you how he treats you. Some men think that a woman wants him for his body and he will spend hours working out to get and maintain his physical attractiveness. There is no question that no woman wants to marry a fat man, unless maybe she is overweight herself. However, way too much emphasis is put on the outward appearance and generally a man has no control over how good looking he is or even the shape or size of his body, other than the fat content. A man does have control over how he treats his wife. One of the most desirable qualities in a man is kindness. Who you marry is who you plan to live the rest of your life with and it is a great pleasure to live with someone who is kind. It is a bad experience to live with a selfish and conceited man. Marriage is for life and you will be glad if the man you marry is kind and considerate.

What is desirable in a man is his kindness, Proverbs 19:22

Understand What is Most Undesirable in a Man

There is a quality in a man that a girl wants and needs to avoid. Do not go with or be friends with a man who has anger issues. You will regret marrying a man who can not control his anger. He will get angry at you and he will get angry at your children. There will be tension in the household because no one will know when his next blow up will be or who will be the object of his anger. Anger can easily turn into wrath and then to rage. The world is full of angry people and they are people who you want to avoid. Anger is a symptom of even bigger issues and unless you want trouble and sorrow, then stay away from a man with anger and do not go with him and certainly do not marry him.

Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Proverbs 22:24

Anger is a response to not getting your way. People who want to control others will often do it through anger and anger can easily lead to abuse verbally and physically. A father can often see these qualities in another man. If you have a father that you can go to then have any man interested in you spend time with him. Kindness is who God is and if a man’s life is surrendered to the Lord then there is a much greater chance of him being a kind man. A kind man’s life will also be much smoother and therefore your life will have much less problems. A kind person receives favor from God and from others.

Do not let kindness and truth leave you;
Bind them around your neck,
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
So you will find favor and good repute.
In the sight of God and man. Proverbs 3:3,4

A Life of Intimacy

The more intimate you are in your relationships the more fulfilling they will be. This also is true of your relationship with the Lord.

Psalm 25:14 The intimate counsel of the Lord is for those who fear him so they may know his covenant.

The intimacy of the Lord is for those who fear Him so if you want to know Him in a close way then you must fear Him. What does it mean to fear Him?

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverted mouth, I hate.

Do you hate sin? What about the pride of life? What about pride of knowledge and the way of the world? What about cursing? Do you ever let a bad word slip out of your mouth? You will never know the intimacy of the Lord unless you first learn to fear Him. You can only go as deep in your relationships with others as you go with the Lord. If your relationship with Him is shallow then your relationships with others will be shallow. How does He show us His intimacy? He identifies with us, knows us completely and forgives us completely.

John 20:17 …but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.’

Forgiveness is what Jesus offered to us. Forgiveness is the promise never to bring up an offense again. This will destroy intimacy in any relationship. Jesus never brings up your sins again.

Psalm 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Are you still bringing up past sins of others? Are you allowing Satan to do this in your mind? This will destroy your relationships and your joy. The next time Satan tries to rob you through your thought life then pray to the Lord. Thank the Lord for Jesus and that He has forgiven your sins and their sins. Satan can not stand for you to do this and will stop bringing these thoughts up to you. And stop bringing up the past to others.

Proverbs 17:9 He who conceals a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates intimate friends.

A Life that Understands the Three M’s in a Man’s Life

When God created man the Lord also gave man three M’s that needed to be fulfilled. These three M’s also need to be fulfilled in a certain order, if they are not fulfilled in the right order then frustration and depression can come to the man. First man must choose who His Master will be. Love always is a choice. Man must choose whether he will love the Lord God, and loving the Lord means that man will submit to God as Lord and Master of his life and obey His commandments. Having the Lord as his Master means that man will follow the Lord and live according to His ways. The Lord loves man perfectly and He will be not only his Lord but He will be His Savior (save him (be there for him) in this life and save him in the life to come). He will be his Shepherd and comfort and guide him to the end and be with him in death. He will protect him and provide for him, as man learns to call on the Lord. The Lord created Adam and as his Creator the rightful place in Adam’s life was that the Lord would be Adam’s Master.

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23

Next, man must choose his mission in life. The Lord has given each man a job to do and man must find out what the Lord has for him. When a man chooses the Lord to be his Master then the Lord will direct his steps in choosing his mission. The Lord gave Adam the job of tending the Garden of Eden and naming the animals. It is best for the man to know his mission before his next M, which is, he must choose his mate. Not all women are suitable for every mission and it is best for the man to know where he is going before he asks another to follow him. God initiates toward man and man must choose to respond to the invitation to follow God and then man initiates toward a woman and she must decide if this is the man that she is to follow. The three M’s in a man’s life are Master, Mission and Mate.

Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. Genesis 2:19-22

Understand that a girl must choose who her Master will be and trust Him to choose what her mission will be and who her mate will be. For a female, her mission will be, to be a helpmate to her husband. This does not mean that she can’t have a job or a career but it is best for her to see what the mission of her future husband will be and see if their paths will go together. However, after she is married then she must give to the Lord all of her plans and allow the Lord to direct her through her husband. When she gets married, her husband becomes her head and he is the head of their home, so her plans must be in accordance with what he wants her to do. Many marriages fail because the two people go in different directions and their lives drift apart. Two people in a marriage must walk together and be united. If you can not give up your career and your dreams to marry a man then don’t marry him. You don’t have to get married. You can not serve two masters, for you will love the one and hate the other, and a home can not have two heads. One of the frustrations for married women who work is the conflict of pleasing their boss and their husband. You will eventually have to choose. Maybe your husband will want you to work and will understand your work situation but you don’t know. It is best to give your expectations to the Lord, and let the Lord give back to you what His will is for you, rather than cling to what you desire and end up frustrated and resentful. Being a wife and a mother is one of the highest callings in life and a woman who puts her heart into it and who does it well will have a very fulfilling life and great joy.

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, Ephesians 5:22,23a

A woman changes as she goes through life. When she is young she might think that she might want a career and travel and see the world. Nothing is wrong with that but sometimes she makes these plans “in case” no one comes along. When she meets the man she wants to marry then sometimes she still thinks about a particular career. As long as there are no conflicts after they get married and her husband is totally for it, then it is no problem for her to work. However, the Lord made women to have children and to make a home for her family. A mother’s heart is with her children. A female changes after she gets married and then she changes again after she has children. She is not aware of how strong the mother instinct is until she looks at her newborn baby. Most mothers will die for their children. Her heart is no longer in her job as it was before. Life becomes different and it helps to be aware of the changes that will come with motherhood.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Proverbs 31:28-30

How blessed and happy is the husband and how blessed and happy are the children who have a wife and mother who fears the Lord and loves her family. How blessed is the nation which has godly women for wives and mothers. A woman who fears the Lord will please the Lord, love and satisfy her husband and she will love and teach her children the right way to live. She will be that support for her husband that he needs and she will set her children up for success. There will be great peace, great joy and much love in that home.

A Life that Never Causes Grief

You would think that the Lord would use the word “never” about a lot of sins but He only uses it in reference to one command.

Romans 12:17-21 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

The meaning of evil is to cause grief. When someone causes us grief then the temptation is to cause them grief. The Lord says to never take vengeance, which is paying back evil for evil. When one takes vengeance then they are taking things into “their own hands” and not trusting the Lord. The Lord does not want you to be like them but He wants you to be like Him.

I Peter 2:23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

A Life that Understands the Need for Wisdom

Wisdom is knowing what to do in any situation, how to respond, what to say, what to do and what not to do, how to get out of a mess, how to succeed, and everything else that you need in life. The Bible says that if you are wise then you are wise for yourself but if you ignore wisdom and do not ask for wisdom then you alone will bear the pain. Everyone else may sympathize with you, but at the end of the day, you are the one with the broken heart or the rejection. The Bible also says that the person who has wisdom enjoys life. Wisdom is the secret to everything. Life is challenging and since every day is a new day, wisdom is what gives you the confidence that life can and will get better. If you do not have wisdom then you are just hoping you are making the right decision and guessing on what to do. Wisdom is the light in the darkness. Wisdom is not what you always want to hear but it is what you need to hear. Over and over again, Jesus said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear”. Listen to wisdom and do what wisdom tells you to do and you will soar in life and love. Wisdom is the opposite of foolishness.

If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, And if you scoff, you alone will bear it. Proverbs 9:12

Understand that Pain Comes from Not Knowing Wisdom

Someone once said that stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Have you been hurt many times in relationships? Do you find yourself doing the same thing over and over again? Do you blame others for the pain in your life? You need to ask yourself, “how long am I going to allow myself to be hurt?” and “what am I doing that needs to change?” God’s ways are wisdom. God’s ways are not politically correct. God’s ways are not going to be popular but they are good and will keep you from being hurt. The Lord wants to teach us how to do life. He is loving and compassionate towards us. He wants you to be loved and wants you to learn to trust again, if you have been hurt. Go to Him and ask Him for wisdom. He promises to give to all who ask Him and without criticizing you!

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

Understand that the Lord loves you and if you will come to Him then He will help you. He made you and He understands how fragile your heart is and what you need. He is gentle and humble and when you come to Him then you will find rest for your soul.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28,29

A Life of Faith

A life of faith is one of pleasing the Lord through believing Him and trusting Him.  If you desire to please the One who loves you so much then you must live by faith. Faith is coming to Him and believing His Word. We think that we would be blessed if we could actually see the Lord but the Lord says, “blessed are they who did not see and yet believe”. Faith is believing in His promises by actually taking Him at His Word and acting as if they will come to pass. The outcome will be that you will see His faithfulness to fulfill His promises and you will grow to love Him more and more. When you grow to love Him more then you will want to please Him more and your faith will grow.

Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.

The opposite of faith is despair. Despair leads downward into darkness of the soul. Faith leads upward into the light of the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14 I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord.

When you believe and have faith then it fosters courage which brings about hope.

Romans 5:5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Are you struggling in your faith? The Lord’s provision for you is His Word. Spend time in His Word until your faith is increased. Keep reading until a verse speaks to you. It is the Lord calling you to Himself. He wants to speak to you through His Spirit and bless you.

Isaiah 30:18 Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you, And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice; How blessed are all those who long for Him.

Ask the Lord to help you grow in your faith as you seek Him through His Word. He “meets the one who delights in righteousness”.

Romans 10:17 So faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ.

 

A Life that Understands the Cost of a Great Marriage

It is understandable that some people do not like what is being written in these posts. Selfishness is the opposite of love and all people are basically selfish. A great marriage is made up of two unselfish people. Even if only one of the people is unselfish then that will change a marriage from bad to good. It is hard to continually fight against love. Love will always cost the person who loves. That is the nature of anything precious and love is worth much and is costly to the one who gives it but love is worth it. It is true that it is better to give than to receive. Usually whenever any gift is given who has the most joy? The one who gives generally has the most joy. In fact, the Lord says to not give under compulsion because giving is an aspect of love and love is a choice. To give is to be godlike, for God so loved the world that He gave. God so loved you that He gave what was most precious to Him and that was His only begotten Son.

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

Understand What a Great Marriage will Cost the Wife

A great marriage is a gift and it is also requires great sacrifice. A great marriage is made up of two people who sacrifice their own wants, dreams, needs, longings and comforts for another. It is best to give all of these to the Lord and allow Him to give back to you in His time what you really need. We usually do not know what we really need. How many things have we all longed for, that in hindsight, we see that they would not have been good for us. Trust the Lord to give you what is good. He will withhold the bad and give you the good if you leave the giving to Him. A great marriage is costly but just as when Mary took a pound of very costly perfume and anointed the feet of Jesus, the fragrance of her love filled the house. In a similar way, when you love another in a sacrificial, costly manner then the fragrance of the expression of your love will fill the environment where you are. Your love will be a sweet fragrance to the one loved and to all who are around and you will be the one blessed the most.Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. John 12:3 Understand that when you do what is right and love your husband with a godlike love that you will be filled with great joy. Your life will be a fragrant aroma to all who come in contact with you and your joy will spill over into your husband, your children and everyone else who knows you. No one can ever rob you of joy because much joy comes from loving and doing what is right. “You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness;
Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You
With the oil of gladness above Your companions.” Hebrews 1:9

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A Life Strong in Storms of Life

Building your life is like building a house. If it is done right then it will stand when the storms come. However, it is too late to build your life during the storms, it must be done during the sunshiney days. You will be secure and will not be fearful if you build it with the right foundation and the right materials.

Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.

The wise woman builds her life on the Word of God so she will be ready when the storms come. She will gain wisdom through the trials to strengthen her life so that she will not  be anxious or depressed over the outcome. Neither will she be boastful for she understands that there is a Master Builder who has a design and a plan and He does not make mistakes.

I Corinthians 3:11 For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is the only foundation for any life that stands strong. Everything else will ultimately fail. A life must be built upon His Word, for He and His Word are equal.
Psalm 138:2 For You have magnified Your word according to all Your name.
The Lord invites all to come to Him. Listen to what He says and do it.

Luke 6:47-49 “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and act on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; an the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

If you will do exactly as the Master Builder and One who made you has instructed you, then your life will be firmly rooted and will stand strong when the storms come. You will not panic because you acted wisely.

Proverbs 24:3 By wisdom a house is built,
And by understanding it is established;

Finally, if you trust in the Lord and build your life on His Word then He will build it through you.

Psalm 127:1a Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;

 

 

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need to Respect a Woman

Men long for respect and they need respect. Men also need to respect a woman and women need for men to respect them. A man needs a woman but he especially needs a woman that he respects. A woman that a man respects will lift him up to a higher standard of behavior. A man generally will not curse around a lady nor will he act in other crude manners. Her respectful behavior is enough to change him as he observes it and her lack of response to any crude jokes or comments is enough to shame him. A man can be a man with other men and not offend them but a man needs to learn how to act in a loving, respectful manner with females.Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. I Corinthians 7:1The word “good” in this verse means, in the original language, the highest form of love.

Understanding A Woman’s Need for Respect

A woman needs respect. A woman’s self worth is affected by how she is treated. If she is treated poorly then she will start to feel poorly about herself. She longs for love and needs love but she also needs respect. Love and respect go hand in hand. If a woman is treated like a queen then she will feel like a queen. If she feels like a queen then she will want to marry a king and feel that she is worthy of a king. If she feels like dirt then she will feel that no king would want to marry her and she will “settle” for far less. A woman’s self worth is one of the most important aspects of who she is. When a man uses a woman in any way then he is neither loving her or respecting her. When a female allows herself to be used then she is bringing destruction to herself. When a man uses a woman then it is like squeezing the juice out of an orange and then discarding the orange. The woman is no longer the same. She is no longer vibrant and feeling healthy about herself because she has been used and rejected. She will often settle for someone “not as nice” as the first man and if she is looking for love in the wrong way then he will squeeze more juice out of her and then discard her. The pattern continues until she is left feeling empty and rejected by men.

but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. Matthew 5:13b

Salt becomes tasteless when it has been compromised. A woman will be rejected and walked over by men if she compromises her morals and allows a man to touch her in inappropriate places or have premariatal sex. A man does not love a woman that he has sex with before marriage. He is using her for his own selfish desire. Nearly all men who are unfaithful to their wives after marriage had sex before marriage. They did not learn to control their passions before marriage and usually can not control them afterwards. Sex is a physical appetite to a man and he must learn to control his sexual drive. He learns to control himself by first learning to control what he looks at. His eyes get him into trouble and the Bible says that the “eyes of man are never satisfied”. It is important that a female dress in a modest manner that does not direct the man’s eyes to sexually stimulating parts of her body. If she does, she will get attention but not the love and respect she longs for and the attention is only for a moment. If he is stimulated then he will want to touch her in an inappropriate manner and she must say “no” so that he does not get what he wants. It is much better if the boundaries are already established by how she dresses.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20

A Life Understanding a Man’s Need for a Friend

A man’s best friend should be his wife. She is to be his companion and friend for life. A man of many friends comes to ruin but there should be a friend that sticks closer than a brother and that friend should be his wife. Her loyalty should never fail. She should be his biggest fan in the bad times as well as the good times. A friend loves at all times.  A man needs someone whom he can always trust and who will always do him good. God’s design for a wife is that she should be her husband’s friend and companion.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. Proverbs 31:11,12

Understanding a Wife’s Need to Be Her Husband’s Friend

A man needs someone who he can trust in and someone who will stand by him all of the days of his life. He needs someone whom he can share his deepest longings and dreams and who will not laugh at him but believe in him. He needs a wife who he can confide in and she will not share with others the secrets of her husband. He needs a wife with whom he can be completely vulnerable. The only way that a wife can be the wife that God designed, is if she gives herself completely to the Lord. Becoming a godly wife is a process just as becoming a godly husband. Go to the blueprint of God’s Word and see what He says. His ways are perfect and you will be blessed as you follow His instructions. A trustworthy friend is one who is worthy of trust. That takes maturity but as you grow in your relationship with the Lord then you will grow in your trustworthiness. When your husband is your best friend and you are his best friend then life and marriage is sweet. Your cup will be full and the joy will overflow.

Many a man proclaims his own loyalty, But who can find a trustworthy man? Proverbs 20:6

Understand that character is what differentiates people. People will proclaim their love and loyalty but a trustworthy and faithful person is rare. Seek to become like Jesus Christ and allow Him to make you into the person that He designed and then you will be ready for the man of God’s own choosing in His time. If you are a trustworthy person then you will be a trustworthy wife.