Uncategorized – Page 72 – Instructions To A Young Life

A Life that has a King as a Friend

All single young ladies have a need to have male companionship. We all want to be treated like a lady. How do you meet young men who will treat you like a lady and also who might choose you to be His queen.

Proverbs 22:11 He who loves purity of heart And whose speech is gracious, the king is his friend.

There are two necessary qualifications to have a king as a friend…a pure heart and gracious speech.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.

Gracious speech is a joy to hear. It encourages others, refreshes them and gives grace to them. The opposite of gracious speech is speech that the hearer needs grace to endure it.

Proverbs 12:18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

The man longs to be around a female that has gracious speech. A gracious woman speaks with grace. The opposite of a gracious woman is a contentious woman. A contentious woman is one who will argue or disagree with others almost needlessly. No one wants to be around a contentious woman. The Bible says that it is better to “live in the corner of a roof top then with a contentious woman”. Notice that it says a contentious woman. This could be a contentious roommate, daughter or grandmother as well as a wife.

Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

A pure heart has gracious speech so the easiest way to learn to have gracious speech is to have a pure heart.

Luke 6:45 The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.

A pure heart is a heart that is not double minded. The Bible says that a double minded person is unstable in all their ways. A person with a double mind is one who can not make up their mind. They will say themselves, ” Should I do this or should I do that?” They don’t know what to do because they are still running their life rather than going to the One who rightfully belongs on the throne of their life. The opposite of a pure heart is an unsurrendered heart.

James 4:8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

The Lord is telling us what to do in this verse. We need to draw near to the Lord, cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. This is the type of lady that a man who is a king will be drawn to. The Bible says that “an excellent wife is the crown of her husband”. When you marry a king then you will be His crown and he will treat you royally.

A Life with Love is Vulnerable

Love makes us vulnerable because it sets us up for the possibility of rejection. However, vulnerability is a part of the marriage relationship and the fulfillment in marriage comes when there is love and total acceptance in the relationship. This is how God loves and this kind of mutual love in marriage can not be found anywhere else but in Him. It is His design and when we live according to His design then we will praise Him and thank Him for His wisdom, His kindness, His perfection and His amazing plan for us.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:25

If you want the kind of love that the Lord planned for your marriage then you must begin before marriage to follow His instructions. Every reference in the Bible to nakedness refers to shame except for the nakedness in marriage and the nakedness of babies and older people when they are helpless and dying.

He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21

When you are naked without the protection of the marriage covenant then you open yourself up for your shame to be exposed and to be rejected by another.

“Your nakedness will be uncovered,
Your shame also will be exposed; Isaiah 47:3

Those who would have honored you will be tempted to despise you once they see your nakedness. Once you realize that you are no longer honored as you once were or should be honored then you, yourself will groan within and struggle with the lack of respect.

All who honored her despise her Because they have seen her nakedness; Even she herself groans and turns away. Lamentations 1:8

It is not love for a man to look on a woman in her nakedness unless he is married to her. Marriage is a commitment to love unconditionally the other and if he wants to see her nakedness before marriage then he is not loving her before marriage and will not love her after marriage. The Bible says that the eyes of man are never satisfied and he will not be satisfied for very long by what he sees before marriage if he sees a woman in her nakedness. If a woman allows a man to see her in her nakedness before marriage then she has exposed herself to her own shame and destruction.

Nor are the eyes of man ever satisfied. Proverbs 27:20b

Amnon thought he “loved” Tamar but he did not love Tamar, he lusted after Tamar. He wanted Tamar in her nakedness and wanted to lie with her. After he got what he wanted then he despised her. His hatred of her was greater than his “love” for her.

When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her with a very great hatred; for the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up, go away!” II Samuel 13:11-15

It is disgraceful for a man and woman to be physically intimate before marriage. It is foolish for the man and he violates the woman and brings disgrace to her. The fulfillment of a man’s lust sows the seeds for the death of love and respect in a marriage. It is only a matter of time before the seed grows and produces the bad fruit of distrust and disrespect. If he does not marry the girl that he has violated then he is adding sin to sin. God is not mocked and it is only a matter of time before he will start reaping the consequences of his actions.

But she said to him, “No, because this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you have done to me!” Yet he would not listen to her. Then he called his young man who attended him and said, “Now throw this woman out of my presence, and lock the door behind her.” II Samuel 13:16,17

If you want the kind of love in your marriage that the Lord designed then you must learn His ways and do them. His love for you is perfect and His ways are perfect. His plan for you is love, for you to love and to be loved unconditonally. This is the way He loves and it is a love that accepts, protects, cherishes and lifts up each spouse to a higher lever of intimacy than they ever dreamed. This is the vulnerability in marriage that every married person longs for, to be loved for exactly who we are without the fear of rejection.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, I John 4:18

A Life that Dies…but God

Two of the most powerful words in the Bible are “But God”. These are always used in reference to something that God does that we can not do.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

But God…loves you just the way you are. When you are at your worst His love is the same. When you were His enemy He loved you and when you turned your back on Him He did not turn His back on you. God’s love never changes for you. There is nothing you can do to turn His love away from you but it keeps calling to you. If you will turn to Him then you will experience His incredible love again and again.

Ephesians 2:4-7 But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

But God…when we were dead in our sins He made us alive through Christ so that He might show even more how great His grace is and kindness toward us in Christ. Becoming His child is only the beginning. It is forgiveness but also it is being made alive to live the life He wants to give us. Before we become His child and alive in Him, we are dead to the things of the Lord and His ways and do not desire Him. We are selfish and it is all about us and what we want. We are also very lonely on the inside because He made us to have fellowship with Him and to walk with Him through life.

Acts 13:30 But God raised Him from the dead;

But God raised Jesus from the dead and He will raise us also if we believe in Him. Jesus lived the greatest life of faith in that He completely obeyed the Father in His life on earth, by dying to Himself and His own will, and He went to the cross, was crucified, died and was buried believing that the Father would raise Him up again. He asks us to do the same.

John 12:24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

If you will give your life completely to Him, die to yourself and your desires and will, and live in obedience to Him then you will bear much fruit. If you don’t, then you will remain alone.

A Life with Love Must Have a Builder

Adam and Eve needed the Lord and they needed Him to instruct them and to show them how to do life. The sooner that we realize that we are the clay and that the Lord is the Potter then the happier and stronger our lives and marriages will be.

But now, O Lord, You are our Father,
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all of us are the work of Your hand. Isaiah 64:8

We are the work of God’s hands and He made us in love and His plan for our lives is to be loved and to love. This is why He calls us His “beloved”, because He wants us to be loved by Him. We belong to Him and that means that we are to “be longing” for Him. He longs to love us and how blessed are those who long for Him and His love.

Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him. Isaiah 30:18

As you yield to the Potter and allow Him who made you to build your life, relationships and marriage then you will thrive. He knows exactly what is perfect for you and He loves you perfectly. Your labor will be in vain until you come to the place in your life of surrender to Him and allow Him to be your Lord and Savior.

Unless the Lord builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city,
The watchman keeps awake in vain.
It is vain for you to rise up early,
To retire late,
To eat the bread of painful labors;
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep. Psalm 127:1,2

Not only will He build your life and marriage but He will also give to those who are loved by Him even while they sleep! Do you know His love and are you one of His beloved children? Are you weary of trying to make it on your own? He invites you to come to Him. He will give you rest from your labor in vain.

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Faith is coming to Him. He is gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul as you learn to take His yoke for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

A Life of a Glad Young Woman

Gladness is different from joy. Joy comes from the presence of the Lord. The Bible says, “in Thy presence is fulness of Joy”. Gladness comes from loving what is right and doing it. Gladness comes from a clear conscience that you did the right thing earlier and so you are not fearful about being questioned or being caught. Gladness is closely related to happiness. If you love the right thing and do what is right you will be happier than all of your friends.

Hebrews 1:9 “You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of gladness above your companions.”

Not only will you have gladness but you will also not walk in darkness for you will have the light of the Lord.

Psalm 97:11 Light is sown like seed for the righteous and gladness for the upright in heart.

A Life with Love as A Commitment

Just as love is a choice and not a feeling, love is also a commitment to another person. Love chooses to commit oneself to another person. There are different levels of commitment for the different levels of love. The most intimate level of love is the marriage of a husband and wife. Marriage between a man and a woman is the only relationship where there is a oneness of spirit, soul and body.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.” Genesis 2:22,23

The Lord is the One who gave Eve to Adam. The Lord gave Eve to Adam so that they might be joined to the Lord in fellowship and relationship and be joined to each other in marriage. She was to be his companion, helpmate and lover. For the man to be joined to his wife the way that God designed he needs to leave his father and mother.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24

A man’s loyalty can not be divided between his parents and his wife. His loyalty must be to his wife. He is still to honor his parents but he now “belongs” to his wife, which means that he is to “be longing to be with his wife”. He is not to allow his heart to be separated between his parents and his wife. He is to be completely committed to his wife…spiritually, emotionally and physically. He is not only to leave his parents physically but also emotionally.

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. Proverbs 18:1

A husband is to love his wife as he loves himself. He is to nourish her and cherish her. He is to love her as his own body and he is to love her in an unconditional way. He will find that as he does this that she will trust and respect him. She will respond to him and will want him.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,

Ephesians 5:28,29a

In God’s design the husband and wife experienced the most loving and sweetest relationship between humans. They were naked and not ashamed. Everyone longs to be accepted for exactly who they are without any pretenses. This is a gift that the Lord gives to a couple in a God centered marriage done God’s way.

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:25

Adam and Eve were able to experience this most intimate relationship with each other because they had an intimate relationship with the Lord. It is not until one is totally honest and “naked” before the Lord can they be totally honest with their spouse. When people have experienced the unconditional love of God then they are able to give that unconditional love to another.

In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:10,11

Unconditional love accepts and loves the other person just the way they are even with their faults, flaws and failures. God demonstrated His love towards us when we did not love Him, while we were still His enemies, by sending His Son, Jesus Christ to die for our sins and to take the punishment that we deserved.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

God loves us perfectly and when a married couple experiences that perfect love then it casts out all fear and they are able to love each other the way they need to be loved. They can be naked and not ashamed.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear

I John 4:18

A Life of a Mature Young Woman

How do you know when young men or young women are mature? What is God’s picture of maturity? When a young person is mature then they are ready for responsibility and with responsibility comes privileges.

Psalm 144:12 Let our sons in their youth be as grown-up plants, and our daughters as corner pillars fashioned as for a palace;

Young men need to learn to work and be productive and are not considered mature men until they can produce as a grown up plant and not have to be dependent on others. In the same way young ladies must learn to stand alone as corner pillars and not have to lean on other people to help them have convictions and keep them out of trouble. The corner pillars are what support the building. When a young lady is mature she will be a support to others but she herself will not have to lean on others.

Jeremiah 15:19 …”Before Me you will stand; and if you extract the precious from the worthless, you will become My spokesman. They for their part may turn to you, but as for you, you must not turn to them.”

As you stand before Him and do His work by restoring the image of God by sharing Christ’s love with others, then you will become His spokesman. They may look to you but you must look to the Lord. This is the picture of a mature young lady…one who looks to the Lord and is able to stand alone.

I Timothy 3:15 …the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.”

Not only will you be mature but you will also be ready for marriage if the Lord should choose that for you, for the wife is to be a picture of the church, which is the pillar and support of the truth.

A Life with Love is Not Alone

Love can not exist by itself. Love is relational. Adam needed a companion to share life with and one with whom he could be of one spirit, one soul and one body. Together they were the image of God and were to be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth and subdue it.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 1:18

The word “suitable” means “corresponding to” in the original language that the Bible was written. The prefix “cor” means heart so the design was that the woman that God would bring to Adam would respond to Adam’s heart. She would know his innermost needs and longings and she would respond to his heart. The Lord made woman to be a responder and she can’t and won’t respond to just any man but God’s plan is that she will respond to the man that God has designed for her to be his helper. For this reason it is important that the husband love his wife so that she will learn to respond to him in the way God designed. The marriage relationship is a picture of God’s relationship with His people. The wife is to respond to her husband just as the Lord wants us to respond to His heart.

… He raised up David to be their king, concerning whom He also testified and said, ‘I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will.’ Acts 13:22b

A wife who responds to her husband’s heart will do what her husband’s will is and not her own will. For this reason she will be of great worth to her husband and his heart will trust her.

An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

Proverbs 31:10,11

When a wife learns to respond to her husband’s heart and he trusts her then she will fulfill her role as his “helper”. This word “helper” literally means savior and this is the only time in Scripture where it is used in reference to a person. She will be that important to him and he will have no lack of gain. He will have found a good thing and she will bring him favor from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22

Each person will find their satisfaction in life when they fulfill the role for which they were created. That person will be blessed and will be a blessing to many. The word “blessed” means happy. When a wife discovers what the Lord has for her then she will bring great happiness to her husband and she will also find happiness in accomplishing the work that God has given her to do. Since every woman and every man is different then the relationship will look different as each man’s heart and each woman is uniquely made by God. However, the promises, commands and instructions do not change. They will only be expressed in different ways. The outcome will be the same. Her husband will praise her and God will be glorified. There will be love, respect and trust in the marriage.

Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
“Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

A Life that Stands Strong

Building your life is like building a house. If it is done right then it will stand when the storms come. However, it is too late to build your life during the storms, it must be done during the sunshiney days. You will be secure and will not be fearful if you build it with the right foundation and the right materials.

Proverbs 14:1 “A wise woman builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”

The wise woman builds her life on the Word of God so she will be ready when the storms come. She will gain wisdom through the trials to strengthen her life so that she will not be anxious or depressed over the outcome. Neither will she be boastful for she understands that there is a Master Builder who has a design and a plan and He does not make mistakes.

I Corinthians 3:11 “For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

Jesus Christ is the only foundation for any life that stands strong. Everything else will ultimately fail. A life must be built upon His Word, for He and His Word are equal.

Luke 6:47-49 “Everyone who comes to Me and hears My words and act on them, I will show you whom he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid a foundation on the rock; and when a flood occurred, the torrent burst against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built But the one who has heard and has not acted accordingly, is like a man who built a house on the ground without any foundation; an the torrent burst against it and immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.”

If you will do exactly as the Master Builder and One who made you has instructed you, then your life will be firmly rooted and will stand strong when the storms come. You will not panic because you acted wisely. He will build your house through you.

Psalm 127:1 “Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it…”

A Life with Love as A Gift

Love is not a right but it is a gift that God gives. God is love and when we experience His love then we want to love others. We love because He first loved us.

We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:19

Adam and Eve could love each other because God loved them first. The Lord gave Eve to Adam to love her and cherish her and for her to respond to his love.

For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.

I Corinthians 11:8,9

The Lord God made man from the dust of the earth and man relates to the earth. He understands the world in a way that is unique to a man. He feels at home in the world. The Lord made man to work in the world.

Then the Lord God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. Genesis 2:7

The Lord made woman from man and so she relates to people since she was not made from the dust but from Adam. She feels more at home with people than in the world. She needs people in her life. The Lord never tells a female to leave a relationship as He tells the man. The mother is not told to leave her son when he gets married but the son is to leave his mother and father. A daughter is not told to leave her parents when she gets married because she still needs her mother and especially when she and her husband start a family and have children.

The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:22-24

The wife is to live for her husband and please him, just as the church is to live to please Jesus Christ, who is the head of the church.

For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:23

The husband is to love his wife and give himself up for her even to the point of death, if necessary, as Jesus Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, Ephesians 5:25

The Lord made the woman for the man and she will find her joy and fulfillment as she seeks to please him with all of her heart. The husband will discover that the more his wife experiences his love then the more she will respond to him and want to please him. He will also understand that his wife is a gift from the Lord and the Lord wants him to love her and enjoy life with her all the days of his life.

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun. Ecclesiastes 9:9